45. Catriona
Forty Five
Catriona
“Where have you been hiding, sunshine?” Dylan makes some silly puppy eyes, as if I’m a great mystery. “I’m at Rian’s office at least once a week, and I’ve never seen you.”
“Oh, I was there alright,” I reply dryly while trying to keep a decent gap between our bodies. It was probably a bad idea to accept a dance with this blonde hulk of a man.
“Were you ducked down behind one of those desk partitions?” He gasps theatrically. “You knew you wouldn’t be able to resist me, so you hid under your desk, not to make a scene by throwing yourself at me!”
I can’t but roll my eyes at Dylan’s ridiculousness. I know who he is, of course – anyone interested in rugby would recognise his face – and although he’s funny, he’s way too eager and pushy for me.
“You’ve got a big ego.”
“That’s not the only big thing that I have…”
I splutter. “Yeah, that nose of yours is quite big too.”
He throws his head back laughing.
“You know what they say, big nose, big…” He leaves the sentence unfinished, and I want to roll my eyes again, but I catch a glimpse of familiar tapered strong shoulders under a crisp white shirt.
Rian’s eyes lock with mine across the dance floor.
I suck in a sharp breath. It’s the first time he’s looked at me all night.
The cold anger in his gaze chills my core.
Does he think I’m using Dylan to get back at him while he has Alexandra held tightly in his arms?
Our gaze breaks as my view of him is obscured by something descending on me – Dylan’s face!
“Hey!” I give out to him and lean back as his lips are almost on mine. I add a laugh not to make a scene. “Get that big nose of yours away from my face.”
“Would you prefer my other big thing close to your face?”
“Your big, athlete’s-foot-riddled toe? No thank you.”
Again, Dylan throws his head back laughing, his huge hands gripping me tighter.
I’ve never been happier for a song to end.
I eagerly extract myself from his embrace, but Dylan places his hand on my back and leads me off the dance floor.
It takes everything in me not to glance in the direction I last saw my boss. That icy glare…
“Come, I’ll get you a drink.”
“Sorry, I need the ladies’ room,” I insist and successfully manage to take a step away from him.
“Oh.” Dylan’s face falls for a fraction of a second, before he pastes his carefree flirtatious mask back on. “Find me after, yeah?”
“Sure thing.” I nod and wonder if there’s a different side to Dylan lurking behind his exterior. Not that I’ll be staying to find out, as I need to leave. Now.
I should never have come. What the hell did I think I’d achieve?
Show Rian what he’s missing out on? As if I can compete with Alexandra’s beauty, wit, charm, money and connections.
Christ, someone said that her hair clip was originally a brooch gifted to her great grandmother by the queen at the time!
The two of them look so perfect together, like two pieces of a puzzle, working the crowd, knowing how to behave and what to say.
I’d never be able to stand proudly next to Rian like Alexandra does.
This has truly been a gut-wrenching eye-opener.
A sob travels up my throat as I walk away from the party. The sun has set, casting everything in shadows, like the curtain call to end my play with Rian. All that is left is to retreat with my tail between my legs.
“You’re not leaving already, are you?”
I stop. My heart thumps hard in my chest as I sense him coming closer.
“I haven’t had a chance to tell you how beautiful you look tonight.” His voice, soft and velvety, comes from right behind me. The first words he’s spoken to me in several days. I squeeze my eyes shut, tears prickling.
His warm breath is on my neck.
“Rian… Please just let me go home,” I whisper, still not turning, not looking at him. Can’t look at him.
“Did you have a chance to see the dock? It’s really nice. I’d like to show it to you.”
“No, Rian, I just—”
“It’s known to have the best sunset in the whole area,” he cuts me off, ignoring the fact that the sun is already down.
Sliding his arm around my waist, he leads me away from what would have been my escape and past the far side of the vast Harrington mansion that has chandeliers twinkling through every window.
I hate the way my skin heats at the feel of his hand on my body.
In amongst shrubs and manicured trees, a small path leads down to the sea. The place is void of people. The sounds from the party all dulled.
“Have you had a good night?” When I don’t answer, Rian continues, “You sure looked like you did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman as popular as you’ve been tonight.”
“I’m surprised you noticed,” I bite back.
“Oh, I noticed. I wanted to gouge the eyes of every man that looked at your body and rip the arms off every fella who dared to touch you.” I gape at the venom coating his words. His face is drawn in anger. “Did you enjoy torturing me, Catriona?”
“You’re one to talk! Fuck you!”
I tear myself out of his grip and storm away from him down the narrow path. I soon realise my mistake. The path leads to a small pier jutting out into the water with big boulders on either side on the shore. I’m trapped. With a huff, I walk out to the tip of the pier.
How dare he talk to me like that!
The wooden boards creak and tension builds as he slowly approaches. The heat from his body tingles my skin as he stops behind me.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” His voice is low and broken.
My heart shatters. This is his farewell speech.
I wrap my arms around my middle, as if trying to hold myself upright.
“I’m a pathetic wimp. I should have ripped those fellas’ arms off…
” He laughs quietly, a bitter laugh, before he takes a deep breath.
“But I felt I owed it to Alexandra not to make a scene. So, I played the role of her partner. I’m sorry. ”
His little speech doesn’t make any sense. I’m about to say so when I’m interrupted by a silky voice.
“Rian, there you are!”
Rian quietly swears behind me, and whatever little I had left of my heart turns to dust.
How deep is this water? Will it cover me if I jump in?
Alexandra’s pink dress lights up against the dark shrubs and that obnoxiously beautiful hair clip twinkles. She gestures up the path. “The fireworks are starting soon. You need to come, Rian. You don’t want to miss it.” Her voice is deceptively sweet.
I count the seconds. One. Two. Three.
Rian sighs. He turns his back to me.
I’m all numb as he chooses his side.
He walks towards her.
He’s leaving me. Although he really left me several days ago.
Truthfully, he was never mine. Just a short loan.
I thought there was nothing left to break, but in the hollow where my heart used to be, acid sears my flesh.
“Actually, I think I’ll skip it, Alexandra.”
“Ri?”
“Alexandra, can… Can we talk, please?” He glances quickly back at me and his Adam’s apple bobs. “In private.”
What… what is going on?
Alexandra must have the same thoughts as I, as she asks, “About – about what?”
“Us. Please,” Rian insists quietly, taking another step closer to her. Away from me.
Alexandra is rooted in place, not going anywhere. “Seriously, Rian. Do you think I’m going to let you be with another woman at our event? And your secretary?”
“Please leave her out of it.”
“Why would I do that? She’s obviously planned this very well.
Walking around the office like the ugly duckling and then doing her Cinderella act at this party.
You haven’t had your eyes off her all night.
I must say, I’m impressed by your stunt.
” The last sentence is directed at me. My cheeks heat.
I want to defend myself but don’t know how.
So, I hold my head high despite the hurtful words and quietly curse Rian for all it’s worth. Has Rian been looking at me all night?
“Alexandra, please can we talk somewhere private?”
The Calla heiress stands tall for a few moments before nodding stiffly to Rian. The world loses all its colour as Rian follows Alexandra up the path.
My eyes sting and a lump is lodged in my throat. I have no idea what’s going on, but I have to get out of here. With water on every side of me, I rush down the pier, but when I get to the end of it, Rian’s distinct voice drifts through the air.
“You have to believe me, Alexandra, Catriona has nothing to do with this.”
I stop cold. I’m nothing to him.
His words are like a slap in the face. A tear burns a path down my cheek.
“This is about you and me, Alexandra. I can’t lie to myself anymore. I’ve been pretending that we were meant to be my whole life. But we’re not.” His tone low and insistent, the words utterly confusing. I can’t help but continue listening.
“Rian, don’t do this. Don’t do this now. I need you!” Alexandra sounds desperate.
“The other night,” he continues relentlessly, “when we went to the restaurant, did you enjoy yourself?”
“Of course!”
“Really?” When she hesitates, Rian keeps going.
“We have a great time together, Alexandra, when we’re out with friends.
We banter and joke, we flirt. But when it’s just the two of us, the conversation dries up.
Can you imagine a whole life with me the way our date was?
” His voice grows stronger. “I can’t! And I’m not going to put us through it, no matter how perfect it would be on the outside.
Our shared future has always been pretend!
Don’t you see? This idea that we’re meant to be – our parents schemed it up.
And we’ve both been using it as a shield to protect ourselves. ”
What the hell is happening?
“Rian, we’re not like everyone else. We have responsibilities and expectations to live up to. One of those is joining KSS and Calla!”
“Our fathers can do that without us. If they had wanted to, they would’ve done it years ago.
They don’t need us! It’s just this romantic idea they’ve created, that love is the glue to cement the merger.
And we have stupidly bought into it.” He pauses.
“Do you love me? Are you in love with me? Does your heart flutter at the thought of me?” He’s ruthless.
I can’t breathe.
“And you decide to come out with this now, at the barbeque? And the way you let me know something is wrong is by heading off with some random woman for the night?” Silence. “Oh. I’m so stupid. This isn’t new, is it?”
“No, it’s been going on for a while,” Rian admits quietly.
“Then why on earth did you go on that date with me?”
“Because I didn’t think I had a choice! I thought there was no other option.
But there is,” he insists. “And there is for you too, Alexandra. I think you want us to be together because you need to get away from your father, not because you want to be with me. But you don’t need me for that.
Take the leap, Alexandra. Leave and see what the world has to offer. ”
They are quiet for a long time. I’m not making a sound, hoping they’ll never know that I’ve overheard their very personal exchange.
“You’re right,” Alexandra says eventually, her voice surprisingly even. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I can’t let my guests down.” She adds quietly, “I trust you will leave the party discreetly to avoid too much gossip about why you left with another woman.”
“Thank you. And I’m sorry.”
And then there’s nothing.
My heart pounds.
I draw a deep breath as Rian appears in front of me, his head lowered and fists tucked in his pockets.
And his eyes burning into mine.
There are voices from the party in the distance and the sound of the water gently caressing the pier. But nothing exists other than the two of us. Rian finally speaks.
“Did you hear that?”
I nod, not trusting my voice.
“You just witnessed the end of an era.” His voice is low, but his face is open, honest. He holds out his hand and wets his lips. “Will you do me the honour of joining me for the new era?”
I can’t speak. Too much has happened in too short a time. My emotions have gone from utter despair to a hopeful shade of green that threatens to glue together the pieces of my shattered heart.
He hurt me so badly.
Can I trust him again?
I’ll never know unless I take the chance. My lungs expand on a shaky inhale. I reach out.
Rian’s shoulders drop and he grabs hold of my hand, tightly, as if never intending to let go.