28. Evangeline
Chapter 28
Evangeline
H olden puts his phone away. “Showtime, Princess. Jo is here.”
“Okay.” I smile at him, hoping it comes off as real.
We’re all on edge about having to attend our engagement party tonight. Not only did neither Phoenix nor I agree to it, but we were also almost killed two weeks ago.
Holden still doesn’t like leaving me alone any more than Phoenix does. Although Phoenix is a lot more aggressive about it, which is completely unnecessary because I spend most of my time with him anyway.
There’s a knock on the door, and Holden opens it.
We’re back in my old room since it’s easier to get ready here with Jo, while Phoenix gets dressed in his room in peace.
Jo maneuvers past Holden and toward me, sighing heavily when she takes in every detail of my face. “Oh, sweetie. You look like you haven’t slept in a month.”
I chuckle. “Please tell me how you really feel. ”
She winces. “Sorry. Bad habit.”
Holden lifts a hand. “I’m out.”
I wave back. “Later, alligator.”
He rolls his eyes but can’t hide how the corner of his mouth tilts up.
But I know Jo isn’t wrong. I probably should have taken better care of myself in the past few weeks, but it just wasn’t on my mind. During the day, I studied and helped Phoenix with some work for the foundation, and at night, we usually ended up on the couch together, him with his laptop or phone, and me with a good fantasy romance. As long as I kept busy and could dive into another world, my brain couldn’t spiral too much.
Books have become my favorite way to escape, my personal sanctuary, offering me comfort in a way nothing else could.
Phoenix has only added to this. Talking to him has lifted a heavy weight off my shoulders, allowing something inside me to shift.
Is everything magically fine and dandy now? Absolutely one-hundred-percent not. We’re still as deep in shit as before, but I also know I’m tired of crying, tired of feeling sad, frustrated, and depressed. I want a normal life, I’ve more than earned it.
Jo throws her arms around me, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’m so relieved you’re okay though. Looking shitty is better than being dead, and I’m so happy you’re not dead.”
I squeeze her back, basking in the embrace. “Thanks, Jo.”
She shakes her head. “I was so surprised when Holden called me. If I were you, I’d probably never leave the house again, let alone go to a party. ”
I huff a breath. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice.”
“Of course you do. Say the word, and I’ll get us some popcorn for a movie night instead.”
I give her a half-smile. “I love the sound of that, but Phoenix needs me, and I want to do this for him.”
She studies me for a while, and I see the urge in her eyes to say more, but she keeps it in for my sake. She’ll never understand how much I appreciate her caring.
“Well then. Let’s get you ready to wow the crowds.”
Jo is a miracle worker. Because when I peek in the mirror a while later, there is no more trace of my disheveled self. My desolate, shattered side is hidden with a precision I wouldn’t call possible if I wasn’t staring at my reflection.
Before she leaves, Jo makes me promise to do a movie night with her sometime soon.
Once she’s gone, I stay an extra minute.
When I finally open the door, Phoenix is casually leaning against the opposite wall. With his hands tucked in his pockets and his feet crossed at the ankles, his gaze bores into mine with such a magnitude, I feel it in my bones.
His gaze doesn’t waver from mine as he pushes off the wall to close the distance between us. “There aren’t enough words in this universe to describe how beautiful you are.”
Something akin to wonder and serenity settles behind my breastbone, releasing a tender warmth into my bloodstream.
“Thank you.” That warmth in my body turns into liquid heat the closer he gets. “You’re very handsome yourself.”
He stops a foot in front of me and holds out his hand, his eyes flaring the moment he catches sight of my engagement ring. My first one sadly didn’t survive the explosion, so he had another one made. Only when I interlace my fingers with his does he let his gaze roam over my body, taking in every detail like it’s been years since he’s seen me and not hours.
I do the same with him, noticing how his wavy dark hair is artfully tousled, with a loose strand falling onto his forehead. His mesmerizing brown eyes lead to his straight nose and plush lips, and that angled jaw I want to nibble on. Lastly, there’s the way he fills out his black suit that has my breath caught in my throat.
He’s the depiction of male beauty, and no amount of staring will ever fill that need to feast my eyes on him.
And I’ve done plenty of that in the last two weeks. Actually, we’ve both been stealing peeks at each other. It’s like neither one of us can look away for long.
“Shall we?” His voice is thick, his throat working on a swallow.
I nod and smile at him.
Tonight, I’m the happy fiancée of a man who can’t get enough of me. A man who looks at his bride-to-be as if the world couldn’t exist without her in it.
That’s my role, and I will give it my all.
Tonight, I will pretend all of my younger self’s dreams have come true.
And nothing can take that away from me, not even some psychopath out there.
Phoenix hasn’t let go of me once tonight, just like he promised. If he isn’t holding my hand, he touches my arm or lower back.
I can’t say I mind.
Everything’s gone smoothly so far. The ballroom at my parents’ estate has been turned into something akin to a fairy tale with fresh flowers, twinkling strings of lights, and white and gold balloons everywhere. If guests were annoyed by the extra security measures when they arrived, no one has let on. Everyone has been kind, congratulating us, expressing their shock over what happened and relief that we got away unscathed.
But I’m sure I’m not the only one playing a role tonight. Everyone has to like us, be excited for us, and be happy we survived. At least to our faces.
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, from pretending to be thrilled to be here, but I continue anyway.
Warm fingers move over my own.
Phoenix takes the glass out of my hand. “Excuse us. I think it’s our turn to dance.”
The words aren’t for me, but for the man he was talking to.
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from snorting as Phoenix leads me to the middle of the room, putting us at the center of attention for everyone to see.
He gives me a little spin, never letting go of my hand. My heartbeat quickens. He pulls me close to his body and rests his other hand on my lower back. My stomach flutters.
The orchestra starts a new song, “A Thousand Years,” one of my favorites, and we sway across the polished floor in slow circles.
Phoenix closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them back up, there’s a solemn expression in them.
I brush a hand over his jaw. “Are you okay?”
He tilts his head as if my question takes him aback, and my thoughts pause briefly. Did I overstep somehow? Things have changed between us so quickly after we disentangled so many lies and revealed truths, I’m still not sure what that makes us. Friends?
Friends ask each other if they’re okay, right?
Something inside me rebels at that thought, but I shove it away. Friends is good. Friends is preferable to enemies.
Phoenix nods. “Just tired of all the bullshit.”
I smile at him and trail my fingers up his nape. “I’m sorry, baby.”
We both freeze, and my eyes widen like saucers.
Heat rises into my cheeks, but I can’t look away. There’s something in his gaze that holds me captive. Storm clouds swirl in his dark irises, and I want to be brave enough to dance in the rain.
But I’m not. This time, I avert my gaze. “Sorry, that just popped out.”
I try to draw back to allow some distance between us, but Phoenix only tightens his grip on me. “I don’t give a fuck what you call me, so stop trying to get away from me. Now relax.”
Obeying, I lean against his chest, happy to hide here for a while. With my eyes closed, I let the music wash over me and soothe my pounding heart.
“Will you play this for me at home?”
His words are a whisper against my hair, and my hand stills against his shoulder blade. I didn’t even realize I’d been moving my fingers along to the music.
“Connie always talked about how much she loved watching you play. That nothing in this world could ever be as beautiful or as pure as when you sit down, put your hands on the keys, and allow yourself to be one with the music. She said the entire world deserves to hear your magic.”
Tears prick my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.
I want to smack his chest for choosing this moment to tell me something like this. But at the same time, I want to kiss him for sharing this with me. And he’s right; Connie always was my biggest cheerleader. She pursued our dad’s career, not only because she genuinely loved the business, but also because she knew it would allow me to live out my dreams.
And then it was all for nothing anyway.
No, none of that right now. I want to enjoy this moment with Phoenix and happy memories of my sister. I deserve that sliver of peace.
He rests his head on top of mine. “Just know that I’m ready whenever you’re ready.”
We stay on the dance floor for four more songs, and I never move out of his embrace. His heartbeat is steady under my ear, quickly turning into my favorite sound. Out of nowhere, a melody pops into my head, accompanying his heartbeat in the most beautiful way, and I can’t contain the small gasp that bubbles up my throat. I haven’t heard music in my head in so long, the pressure in the backs of my eyes comes back tenfold.
This entire time, I thought the silence was good, that it was exactly what I needed to heal, that it was better to forget the pain, but maybe I was wrong.
Maybe it was the silence that kept me from healing all these years.
Maybe the silence was the price I paid for my wrongdoings, and now that Phoenix is back in my life and he knows the truth, we can heal together.
The melody flutters around in my mind like a loving caress, and I wonder if it could be my salvation.
Something urges me to look at Phoenix, to really look at him.
I know we’re both playing a part tonight, but the man staring back at me right now is my Phoenix. The same one who told me none of the guys at school were good enough for me, and then tried to get me to promise I wouldn’t date anyone until I was at least thirty. The guy who found me whenever there was a thunderstorm because he knew I loved them.
His eyes are kind and tender, even as he gazes down at me. So contrary to the steel that promised violence when he waltzed into the room at my birthday party what feels like an eternity ago.
“Thank you.” I push onto my toes and press my lips gently against his. I don’t move them; I don’t open them.
This kiss isn’t about lust.
This kiss isn’t about pretense.
This kiss is about gratitude.
I was stuck in this cloud of darkness, and he just gave me back a piece I thought I’d lost forever.
This is a kiss about hope.