CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
“You look so beautiful!” Ronnie stands over my right shoulder while I finish applying my lipstick. “That color matches your hair. It’s really pretty.”
I blow a kiss at her reflection the mirror. “You’re too sweet, kiddo. Thanks for the confidence boost.”
Her head cocks sideways at that adorably confused angle. “What’s confidence?”
My leather-clad butt spins on the bench, putting us face-to-face.
“I’m not quite sure how to describe it, but think of it as a bright light inside of you.
That shine makes you feel strong and powerful.
Certain things will make the light even brighter like compliments or good deeds.
Others might try to dull your sparkle. Most of the time that’s because their own confidence is weak.
Just be a good person and let your light brighten each day. ”
“Um, okay. I get it.” But her forehead is creased.
“Don’t believe anyone who says you’re not perfect just the way you are. If people are mean and talk down at you, don’t listen. Or come find me. I’ll deal with them. Remember it’s what’s in here that counts.” I tap the center of her chest.
“I’m gonna keep my light shining super bright so I can be just like you when I grow up.”
My wince is almost painful. “You can aim higher than that.”
Ronnie’s green eyes go round as she gasps. “Oh, I’ve got gifts for you. It will give you more confidence.”
“Gifts? As in multiple?”
She giggles behind her hands. “You’re gonna be so surprised!”
“But I didn’t get you anything.”
Her smile is a genuine burst of happiness that I feel in my dark soul. “You’re staying here with me for always and that’s the bestest present of all.”
Emotion forms a lump in my throat. It spreads to my smokey-shadowed eyes in a fiery stint. I fan at my face rapidly, cursing the flood of tears that never plagued me until this little girl appeared in my life.
“Why are you crying?” Her soft voice only makes the pressure swell.
My shrug is helpless. “I’m not sure. It’s something that happens now.”
“M’kay!” She twirls out of the room.
I’m left alone with my inability to cope for no more than one minute. It’s a blessing until I see what she’s holding. The amount of rhinestones and glitter is blinding. My blurry vision struggles to identify the items she’s holding.
“Wow,” I breathe.
Ronnie rushes toward me. “I made these for you!”
Two dangling objects are thrust entirely too close to my face. The earrings are heart-shaped, as big as her palm, and covered in pink gems. My mouth works soundlessly for several seconds.
“These are… unlike anything I own,” I manage to mumble.
“Put them on!” She gives them a jiggle, showing off their disco-ball quality.
After removing the small black hoops I usually wear in my first holes, I put in the much larger pair. They’re made of plastic and thankfully don’t tug too hard on my lobes.
I turn back to the mirror to inspect them. “Well, look at that,” I croon. “They fit.”
She appears behind me. “There’s a ring too. It matches.”
“That’s too much. How did I get so lucky?” I stick out my index finger for her to put it on.
“I won a bedazzling kit at bingo. We can use it for our crafts!”
“Such a great idea.” I stand and do a slow spin, gesturing at the full ensemble. “What do you think?”
Approval gleams in Ronnie’s expression. “Your confidence is shining super bright.”
“Thanks to you, kiddo.”
“Are you gonna wear your jacket?”
“I was planning on it. Why?”
She giggles and I mentally brace myself. “There are sparkles all over it.”
“The gems stick to leather?”
“Yep!”
“That’s an unexpected twist.” I force a smile while mourning the innocence of my oldest companion. “What time is Uncle Dennis taking you to dinner?”
“I dunno.”
“Where’s your dad?”
Ronnie glances over at the window where the sun finishes its evening descent. “In the barn.”
My pulse leaps and takes off in a gallop. “I have to go. Can you go find Uncle Dennis? He’s downstairs in the den.”
She blinks at me. “No.”
I silently scold myself. Not sure why I asked. “Your dad will be done soon. It’s important that I leave before him.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to ruin the surprise.”
She narrows her eyes. “What surprise?”
“Umm…” The flashy bling is muddling my mind. “We’re playing a game.”
Suspicion deepens the groove between her brows. “What kind of game?”
If I’m being honest, it’s where I disappear into the night without a trace to avoid another awkward exchange. We haven’t spoken much since that morning in the arena and that was days ago. I’d rather spend New Year’s Eve forgetting my troubles than inviting them to haunt me.
“Hide and seek,” I blurt.
“Daddy has to find you?” The little girl doesn’t sound convinced.
“Uh, yeah. That’s how it works.”
“Was it his idea?”
“Sure,” I mumble.
“That’s kinda romantic, I guess.”
My head is already rejecting that term with a stern shake. “It’s not meant to be.”
“Yes-huh, silly. You’re going on a date.”
It feels like all the blood drains from my face. “Did he tell you that?”
Ronnie’s face pinches. “I think so? But Uncle Dennis said it first. That’s why he’s babysitting me.”
Urgency kicks me into motion. I don’t know if she’s telling the truth, but I’m not sticking around to find out. Ronnie is seconds away from calling me out for lying. After shoving my phone in my purse, I’m ready to flee.
I drop a kiss on her forehead, leaving a red stain behind. “Be good, okay?”
“M’kay!” She wraps her little arms around me for a quick hug.
“See ya next year, kiddo.”
Her features crumple into a stricken mess. “No! That’s super far away.”
“It’s tomorrow,” I assure her. “That’s just a phrase people use. It’s supposed to be funny.”
“Oh! ‘Cause it’s the end of the year.” Her smile reignites. “I get it.”
“Smart cookie.” I boop the end of her nose.
She takes that as a sign to swoop down the bridge of mine, ending with a tap to my chin. Warmth injects into my icy veins and I almost repeat the motions. It’s such a foreign comfort to be loved.
“Did you give Daddy a clue?”
My grin is still caught in the clouds. “For what?”
“Your hiding spot,” she giggles.
That snaps me out of it and I straighten. “Nope.”
“How will he find you?”
If all goes well, he won’t. But that’s not what she wants to hear. Adrenaline floods through me. My heart is suddenly racing too hard. It’s probably visible through my tight shirt. The clock on the wall ticks loudly to mock me.
“Whose side are you on, hmm? Don’t you want me to win?”
Ronnie shoos me toward the hallway. “Better hurry or Daddy’s gonna get you.”
A collection of water stains on the ceiling captures my attention while I fight a losing battle against sheer boredom. It’s been a struggle since I arrived at Inn Kahoots. What I expected was a lost sense of nostalgia. The reality is much more bleak.
My lack of interest gives the packed biker bar another glance for old time’s sake. That’s what’s kept me here this long. The dingy atmosphere is my scene. These are my scrappy people. But it feels stale and flat.
Honestly, the only bright spots are the rhinestones stuck on me.
I got more than a few curious looks, but my reputation is louder than the unfamiliar sparkle.
A few still needed a reminder. The dumbass who tried his luck by smacking my ass is still nursing his sprained wrist at the opposite end of the rail.
“We’re planning to ride all the way to Montana without stopping,” the shaggy dude beside me drones on, tugging my focus from the damage above.
“Thrilling,” I murmur absently.
“The rally will be sick. You should join us.”
“I’ll think about it.” Which is code for giving less than half a shit.
“Cool.” He bobs his head loosely, feeling the alcohol and heavy beat pounding through the speakers. “Want another?”
My spirit is exhausted from feigning enthusiasm. I’m not even sure what he’s talking about. That forces me to actually look at him. It doesn’t do him any favors.
Rather than a rugged cowboy with a dirty mouth, there’s a threadbare biker who could use a shower. A defeated sigh emphasizes the letdown. Another follows when I catch his beady stare bouncing between my drained glass and my rack.
“Sure,” I mutter. “Why not.”
He flags down the bartender and then returns his focus to my tits. “Tough day?”
I can’t muster enough energy to shrug. “Not really.”
His grunt is drowned by a sip of Bud Light. “Then what’s with the long face?”
It’s a decent question. It’s also one I don’t want to answer.
“Been spending a lot of time around horses,” I kick back.
“Deflection at its best. I’ll drink to that.” He lifts his beer. “But I’d rather hear the truth.”
My lips curl in pure condescendence. “I couldn’t care less about what you want.”
Interest sparks in his muddy eyes. They’re the wrong shade of brown. “You’ll say otherwise after I turn that frown upside down.”
Nausea flips my stomach, churning faster when he grins at me with yellowed teeth.
I want to cringe, but scoff at myself instead.
When did I become so particular? He seems like a decent enough guy.
We could probably exchange a few orgasms. But there’s absolutely zero heat flowing to the basement region.
I allow my sights to wander again, as if I’ll find anything more appealing between the ruined pool tables and broken jukebox. A hollow ache pierces my chest. I hate to admit it, but I’m disappointed Byron didn’t find me.
That’s when the front door bangs open. The entire bar falls silent as if the cops or a rival gang just strode in. But it’s worse. Very much so. I whip around to get a better view, not believing my eyes.
Clogging the entrance like a character from a Wild West film is none other than Byron Benson.
Everyone is dressed in leather and a criminal record while he wears his Stetson with pride.
His shadowed stare searches the crowd, just waiting for someone to challenge him to a duel.
The famous whistled tune from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly plays in my head.