CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Slick City is my worst nightmare. The indoor slide park is loud, crowded, and smells like a sweaty gym sock.
Unmonitored children whiz past me from every which way without a care where they’re going.
There are so many obstacles crammed in here, I can’t see straight. It’s nothing short of a cesspool.
My resting bitch face is in full bloom and spreading faster than dandelion fluff.
Ronnie notices, slamming to a halt rather than finishing another spastic lap around the climbing equipment. “What’s wrong, Frannie?”
“I don’t like kids.”
She blinks, chomping on my answer for a moment. “But I’m a kid.”
My sharp edges soften at the concern in her meek voice. “You’re the only exception.”
“What’s an exception?”
I exhale a heated breath, some of my frustrations flowing out with it. “It means you’re special. You’ve conquered impossible odds. My little loophole.”
Her head tips sideways. “What’s a loophole?”
“It’s a good thing, babes. I don’t like kids, but I like you.”
“You like me?”
“Very much so. Wouldn’t be here otherwise.” I find myself smiling despite this horrific place. “Consider yourself lucky.”
She tips her chin up. “I’m special.”
“The best,” I croon.
Ronnie bounces on the balls of her feet. “Can I go play?”
“That’s what we’re here for. I won’t go anywhere.” Besides, my butt is stuck to this seat with gum or something equally as offensive.
After she’s left me in a cloud of sugar fumes, I spread my arms on the back of the bench and wait for this to be over.
Whispers tickle my ears, insulting enough to pique my interest. I turn slightly to give the trio of women attention they don’t deserve.
My fingers wiggle at them as if I’m friendly.
Animosity must be bleeding from my pores because they scurry off like cockroaches.
“Excuse me,” a haughty voice chirps from my other side.
I swivel my head toward the brunette who’s busy glaring down her upturned nose at me. “Yes?”
“Your outfit is making people uncomfortable. Could you put on a jacket or something?”
A catty giggle titters from me. My leather corset is chic as fuck and snatches my waist like a pinup doll. This housewife is jealous that I’m flaunting my cleavage. If I’m going to be tortured, I can at least look hot. Screw anybody who claims otherwise.
With a palm shielding my eyes, I make the effort to scan the surrounding area. “Where are these people? All I see is that guy and he hasn’t taken his eyes off my tits since I arrived.”
“That’s my husband,” she hisses.
“Sounds like a you problem then.” I glance at her buttoned-up cardigan, offering an exaggerated pout. “Maybe show some skin and he wouldn’t have to look elsewhere.”
She makes an indignant squeak. “How dare you insult me.”
“If that ain’t calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is.”
Another unladylike noise scrapes out of her flat personality. “I can’t believe Byron Benson hired you.”
Well, it appears introductions aren’t necessary. Shucks.
“You’d almost think someone got forced into it,” I quip.
The brunette balks as if she can’t believe I’d admit it. “You’re actually a nanny?”
“That’s what it says on my name tag.” My middle finger taps at the empty space above my left breast.
“Not sure what he sees in you.”
The condescending grin I deliver is bored of this conversation. “My pussy is tighter than a virgin’s asshole.”
She sputters on her most recent upset. “You’re unfit to be around children.”
“I agree but unfortunately, that’s not your decision. Run along now, Karen. And tell the others to fuck off.”
The brunette storms off in a tizzy I don’t get to fully appreciate. Ronnie is racing toward me with tears in her eyes. My knees meet the rubber floor as I open my arms to embrace her.
Once she’s cradled against me, I search her for injuries. “Are you hurt?”
She shakes her head. “No, not really. Will you dry my tears?”
“Of course, babes.” I wipe at her wet cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
“Jimmy pulled my hair and called me ugly.”
My fingers pause mid-swipe. Some punk ass is trying to belittle my sweet loophole? Hell fucking no.
Several things happen at once. I see red. There’s a pit of fury cracking open in my gut, spreading fire through my veins. Some dormant instinct kicks in and demands retaliation.
“Where is Jimmy now?” My voice is calm and collected, at total odds with the anger bubbling to a boil.
Her pointer finger seals the kid’s fate. “Over there.”
“Listen to me, kiddo. That boy is trying to shake your confidence. We’re not going to let him. You don’t cry over a man, okay? He’ll get on his knees and crawl to you, begging for forgiveness.”
“Ummm…”
“Just trust me.” I stand and pin a target on the bully’s forehead. “Be right back.”
Ronnie grabs my hand. “Where are you going?”
“To teach him a lesson he won’t learn in school.” And then I’m marching over to the scrawny little shit, stooping to his level. “Heard you got a problem with my girl, Jimmy. That’s a bad mistake. Really bad.”
The mop head wrinkles his nose. “Who’re are you?”
I bark out a laugh. “What scares you the most?”
He puffs out his puny chest. “Nothin’.”
“Awwww, such a tough guy. You can tell me. Is it zombies? Snakes? Heights? The thought of your daddy leaving and never coming back? Whatever it is would feel like paradise compared to me. I’m the horror movie you’ll never escape.
Be afraid to check under your bed, Jimmy.
That’s where evil spirts wait until you’re sleeping. ”
Am I being unnecessarily cruel? Absolutely. Should I back off? Probably. Am I going to? Not a chance.
His bottom lip wobbles. “You’re mean.”
“That’s what you get for picking on Ronnie. If you ever bother her again, I’ll find you. Got it?” I jerk forward as if I’m about to grab him.
He screams and stumbles back. The stench of urine fills the air. And my job here is done.
I rise to my feet, backing away to avoid any puddles. “Ohhhh, did somebody have an accident? What a baby.”
Jimmy begins to wail, alerting his mother to the villain in their midst. She flutters in like an overpaid actress who doesn’t do her own stunts. Not a hair on her perfectly coiffed head is out of place.
“What’s the matter?” Even her tone is uppity.
Jimmy’s stubby finger jabs at me. “She’s a monster!”
I inspect my nails. “At your service.”
The mom peers over at me for the first time, not bothering to rein in her sneer. “Why is he crying?”
My shoulders bounce casually. “I scared him. Bit of a chicken shit if you ask me.”
Her jaw drops. “What’s wrong with you?”
“We don’t have time to get into all that. Just know that if Jimmy bothers Ronnie again, you and me are gonna have big problems.” I point between us to avoid any confusion.
“I’m getting security.” She waves her arms as if she’s directing traffic. “Help! Someone help us!”
My stomach clenches. I know where this road leads. “Or we could go out back and handle this like real women.”
Her face pales. “You’re crazy.”
I cackle like the best of ‘em. “Thanks for noticing.”
Two guards appear, boxing me in without asking a single question. Typical. The one with a substantial beer gut gives me a lewd once-over. His partner looks ready to whip out the taser that still has a factory sticker.
“Take it easy, buddy. This is just a misunderstanding,” I say.
“Don’t listen to her!” The mom blubbers, really pulling at the heartstrings. “She traumatized my son.”
My sigh is heavy with surrender. I motion Ronnie over and give her my phone. “Call your daddy, okay? Just like we practiced.”
Her wide eyes stray to the wannabe cops. “Are you in trouble, Frannie?”
I boop her nose. “Always, but this is the first time it was worth it.”