16. Ronan
RONAN
I slammed the drink in my hand. I poured another.
“Roe, you’re going to break the glass,” Knox said, and I stopped to look down at the fact my hand was practically shaking as I held the tumbler.
“I’m going to go kill someone. I’ll be back.”
And I meant it.
I abandoned the drink and my brothers. All I had on was a t-shirt and sweatpants, but fucking hell, I needed to get away from here. I needed away from her scent. I needed away from the way she was screaming under Jett.
It wasn’t him that pissed me off. It was me. It was the way I realized if I didn’t walk away now, I wasn’t going to be able to.
I couldn’t get attached to anyone. Sex was sex. It didn’t mean shit.
The goal had been to make her never mention Carrow ever again. Shit. The clawing unease in my chest, what the fuck was it?
Jealousy.
I was jealous that someone else could have what was ours. The marriage might have been mine, but she was so fucking perfect. She’d put up with Jett’s impulses. She wasn’t scared of Knox’s unpredictable quiet. Shit, Talon. Even he saw through her masks and trusted her. Why?
Why was this happening?
She was supposed to be an easy way to get to the uncle.
“Wait up. Stop, Ronan. You can’t go out there. Not like this. You’ll make a mistake and get caught,” Talon said, his hand grabbing my shoulder to hold me back.
“Let’s head down to the gym, because fuck, I need to work off, well. Let’s just go and I’ll let you punch me. Knox? You in?” Talon asked.
I shifted my direction and practically ran for the gym in the basement. I couldn’t hear her scream Jett’s name one more time. Not because I hated that Jett could make her scream, but because I wanted to be there. I wanted to touch her again and again and she wasn’t ready.
I grabbed some gloves to protect my knuckles as I hit the ground running. I was already heading straight for a bag, punching it so hard the metal chain cried out as it fought to keep the bag firmly where I needed it to be.
I punched, I jabbed, I kicked. I needed violence.
“Hey, hey. What happened to meeting me in the ring?” Talon asked.
I glanced over and saw the sweat falling along his skin.
“Yeah. Sure. You warmed up?”
I didn’t actually need an answer. I quit the abuse on the bag and slid into the ring we had in the basement.
Talon followed and we were set in seconds. Knox called it, telling us to go. There were no rules here except we couldn’t kill each other and no breaking anything.
We were all well matched and the fights almost always went on forever, until one of us tired.
I blocked a kick to land a hook, just barely. We fought and fought until I finally felt my muscles cry for a break. I collapsed.
“Time,” I said and held up a hand.
Knox and Talon moved closer.
“I’m not some fragile doll like the little princess upstairs.”
I didn’t like how they were keeping a distance like I could break.
“Yeah. Not really what we were thinking, sweetheart,” Talon said and nudged an outstretched leg with his foot.
“You have a heart in there, tin man?” Knox asked.
I looked up through the sweat slicked hair hanging in front of my eyes.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I said, because I wouldn’t.
I hated the way they looked at me as they both sat down.
“Look, we can back off. It doesn’t matter what any of us feel, not if it’s going to tear you—” Knox didn’t get to finish. I cut them him with a water bottle to his head.
“It’s not that. Fuck. I don’t even know. It’s. Shit.”
Talon seemed to finish my thoughts.
“It’s that she’s fucking perfect and she is supposed to be a tool?”
Yeah. That summed shit up.
“She does seem to get us,” Knox said. “I expected her to run screaming when Jett ran in there. Fucker needs patience.”
I cracked my neck.
“The engagement was called off, we all swore that we would never allow it again. Nothing would come between us. Nothing.” I was simply repeating the conversation that we’d had the night we found out my arranged marriage's fate.
Relief. The worst thing that could happen to the four of us was ever being separated.
All we had in this family was the family, but really, it was the four of us. We all slept with one eye open, but maybe it was just a little easier when you shared the burden.
Jett’s father had crossed Barone years ago.
His mother was sent to a remote family vineyard because she was the sister of Barone, but even she wasn’t really unscathed.
Knox’s mom fucked her way through the ranks until she pissed off one too many of the brothers.
Knox wasn’t much better than me in this family. A bastard.
“Boys, what do you think?” I asked.
Finally my lungs stopped burning and I felt almost human, depending on what that actually could be defined as.
“She’s entertaining, that’s for sure,” Talon said.
I looked to Knox for something profound to make me not get up and just slit her throat.
“I know that look, Roe. Don’t. She’s the first woman that intrigues me as much as she catches your attention. I say we use her until she no longer has use. Maybe we’ll be bored by then.”
My hands already itched to hold her again even before he said the words.
“Fine. She stays for now. As long as she has use.” I took off the gloves, my knuckles still bruised and abused regardless. Even the pain couldn’t make me forget the way she tasted or how she looked as I sank into her tight pussy.
Fuck.
I rubbed at my chest. What if we didn’t grow tired?
“I’m going to shower.”
Talon and Knox remained sitting on the floor.
“Sure. And while you’re at it, make sure Jett is still alive,” Knox said, his voice flat and serious.
But as I walked away, an ache settled inside me and I wondered if Jett was the only fucking concern.
The thoughts flying through my mind clouded my judgement. The idea of Carrow touching her brought irrational anger.. The idea of anyone touching her, no. Not anyone, but almost anyone. The idea she was safe in Jett’s arms right now seemed to calm the ache I couldn’t identify.
I ran my hand over my sweat-slicked face.
In this family it was better to have more eyes on something you wanted protected. Nothing was out of reach for Barone. We’d fought tooth and nail to make our place among the family and even that didn’t mean our things were safe. It’s why we were who we were. We watched each other's backs.
I paused outside my room; the door wasn’t even closed. Jett never hid a damn thing from us. Maybe it was his way of checking me. If I wanted to go psycho, he wasn’t going to stop me.
I wouldn’t though, not on him. He was my brother by choice.
I took a deep breath trying to ignore something I’d made sure had been buried so deep there should be no chance to dig it up. Except I felt something. I stepped into my room and glanced at the bed where Jett was holding onto her.
She would have been in my arms had I stayed.
But I wouldn’t stay.
I couldn’t stay.
Jett could take that on because at this point I wasn’t changing how attached he was. The guy couldn’t do anything halfway. It was all in and it’s what we loved about him. But today?
“Shit,” I said, under my breath and tried to get to the bathroom without either of them stirring. I almost made it.
Jett called me from the bed. “We good?”
My hand squeezed the knob of the bathroom door.
“Yeah, J. We’re good. Take care of her.”
I pushed through before I could drown in the scent of her filling my room.
Control. Control is what made us good at what we did.
Control ensured we could take care of business no matter what it was.
Some days it was as easy as showing up in the office of our construction company and going over books for my father.
Other days it was hunting down someone who crossed the family or someone we viewed as our responsibility.
Lately the responsibilities seemed like more and more.
It didn’t help that there was always someone out there trying to take over the family or settle a grudge we didn’t care about.
The last few weeks hit hard. We almost lost one of us. Maybe it was okay to let them enjoy something softer. What was in it for her though? What would keep her here?
I turned on the water in the shower and stripped off my shorts. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The scars were there as a constant reminder of where I came from. But the smile on my face?
I shook it off. Head in the game, that’s what I needed. I'd have to check and see if Knox was going to get to that contract we’d intercepted. A familiar female face floated through my mind. She’d risked herself to get that. Did she know how dangerous it could have been?
The steam floated out of the tiled shower and I stepped inside, letting the water rain down on me, washing away the sweat. This wasn’t the first time I’d almost wished it would wash away whatever parts of me were still human.
I grabbed the shampoo and started on my hair in the same order I showered every day. Control. I could bury it all again. There was no reason to feel anything. I carried out the justice that kept my family safe. That’s what I could control. Justice.
I was lost in the routine, but I froze as small arms wrapped around my waist. The bar of soap I gripped nearly went flying as I held the slick surface way too tight.
“What are you doing?” I asked Margaux.
We both stood there as the warm water ran over our skin.
“Hugging you.”
I looked down at her arms.
“People have died for sneaking up on me.”
I could feel her cheek pressed against my back, and fuck, the vision of what else was pressed against my skin.
“Well, you didn’t kill me yet, so that’s got to be a good sign. Right? But I mean if you’re going to, at least the water would wash away the blood. Quick cleanup,” she said.
I grabbed one of her wrists and spun out of her grasp, quickly shifting to press her against the wall, my hand around her throat.
“Good point, little bird. Should we try it? See how long it takes for you to bleed out if I bite you right here.” I ran a finger over the main artery in her neck. Something about the idea of biting her woke up my cock. I leaned into her neck and did as I promised, but I didn’t break the skin.
Her fist pounded against my chest and she yelped in my ear, but I didn’t let her go. Not until her hand gripped my cock, surprising the hell out of me.
“Unless you like to screw dead things, you’re going to want to stop biting me because this tells me,” she paused and stroked me from base to head, “you don’t really want to kill me.”
I hated the look in her eyes. Equal parts crazy and desire.
What would tip her over the edge? Danger? It’s what got the guy today killed.
“Why do I feel like telling you that you walk a fine line between pleasure and death is exactly what you were hoping for?”
I didn’t wait for her answer.
My hand around her throat kept her right where I wanted her as I devoured her. I slid my other hand between her legs and the slick reminder of what she’d just done.
I paused when I heard a whistle from behind me. A glance over my shoulder and smirked. Jett.
“Looks like you have an audience, little bird. Let’s give him a good show,” I said.
I let her go just to reach down and grab her thighs, pulling her up. I liked the way she wrapped her legs around my waist. I shifted, positioning her pussy over the head of my now fully hardened cock.
I watched her eyes as she watched Jett. I liked when she closed them the second I pulled her down onto my length.
“Are you sore yet, baby?”
She moaned as I pulled out and slammed back into her. I pressed her back into the wall.
“Hang on,” I whispered into her ear. “And watch Jett get hard watching you come.”
It didn’t take long for her to shatter around me, her body already alive and ready. I leaned my forehead against hers as I realized I was losing my own control. The second time her pussy squeezed around my cock, I couldn’t stop myself from hastening my pace while chasing my own release.
I slammed into her one last time and my cock jumped and I spilled into her. Fuck, we were the first to claim her.
Once my breathing calmed I pulled her off me and slid her down my body.
“Jett? Wash her up and meet me downstairs. We need to talk.”