Chapter 25
I’d heard horror stories about how sick women got when they were expecting multiples, and I wasn’t sure if it was the supernatural aspect of this pregnancy, or if life had just decided not to kick me in the crotch for once, but I’d been relatively free of morning sickness in the second trimester.
Golden threads, however? I had those in abundance.
Exhaustion so intense that I sometimes didn’t think I’d ever get back out of bed? Also yes.
But spending hours hugging the toilet bowl? Thankfully not.
So I knew the swirling feeling in my gut wasn’t morning sickness. Instead, it was guilt making me want to puke.
It had also made me hide in my wing of the compound through the rest of yesterday, feigning exhaustion once again. Nate had stayed with me, and when Milo had dropped off dinner for the two of us last night, he’d hung around a bit, soothing that prickling feeling in my chest a little.
He’d talked to Nate about figures from myth like they were real people. Alexander the Great. How hot Helen of Troy had been. The resurgence of the Norse Pantheon just because of some superhero movies. It was freaking bizarre.
When my eyelids had gotten heavy, Nate had tucked me into bed, then stepped aside when Milo came over and kissed the top of my head, a gesture that could have been construed as caring or as something more, depending on how much you chose to overthink it.
And I chose to overthink it a lot. For most of the night.
I’d eventually cycled from Milo to Tryp and then Erus, then around to Demke. I couldn’t get past the flash of absolute devastation that had quickly morphed to anger on his face when I’d blurted out that I’d bonded Tryp.
I deserved Demke’s ire. They had been living happily out here, and I came stumbling in through their gates like a madwoman, stealing the lives of his best friends. I would legit be furious in his position. In fact, I would have booted myself out hours ago.
Which meant in the cold light of day, I was restless, hungry, and guilty as fuck. It was causing insane indigestion. Or maybe it was just the heel of one of the babies pressed straight into my guts causing that sensation.
Nate grabbed me around the waist, halting my pacing—which was actually more like the furious waddling of an outraged penguin—and dragged me down into his lap. “Relax, Wren. You didn’t mean to bond them, and if they have a problem with it… well, I still have my ax, and we’ll see how immortal they really are.”
How he knew what I was worried about already was kind of disconcerting. I mean, it was pretty obvious to me, but really, I had a thousand things to be worried about. They ranged from The Fate Of The World Was In My Womb, right down to God-Monsters Wanted To Eat Me. So I mean, it was pretty eerie he just happened to know my stupid brain had decided to fixate on the fact that I’d bonded my life unintentionally with two more Demigod beings. Now if I died, they would too.
I frowned at Nate. “What if my life is tied to theirs now too? What if they trip down the stairs, or choke on an olive, and I die?”
Fuck, how hadn’t I thought of that before? I should have asked more questions.
His jaw went tight. Guess neither of us had really thought about that. “I don’t think it would work that way. You’re the anchor.” I didn’t like the uncertainty in his voice. Maybe that meant that if I went to Hell, they were all coming with me. Not particularly reassuring right now.
There was a soft knock on the door, and I was a little surprised to see Teron. “I thought you’d be avoiding me like the plague.”
He gave me a tight smile. “You and Demke seem to hold similar beliefs, but I’ll tell you what I told him: I would never give you substandard care, just to protect myself. I’ve lived thousands of years. I’ve forgotten more lifetimes than I remember. If helping you brings that endless cycle to a stop, then I won’t be mad about it. I will go with a smile, knowing that my life ended the way it began, by contributing something to humanity.”
I stared at Teron. He was so freaking beautiful. Full lips. Bronze skin. Golden eyes that burned into mine. He was so obviously otherworldly. But more than being beautiful, he was kind, and that was hell on my emotional walls.
Swallowing hard, I inhaled a shaky breath. “That’s stupid, but thank you.”
He snorted out a laugh. “Yes, on that, you and Demke agree again.” He lifted something in his hand. It was an honest-to-god doctor’s bag, which made me smile. All he was missing was a white lab coat. Actually, I was pretty sure I’d seen a porno that started just like this. “I thought I’d just take your vitals, just so I have a baseline for my records.”
Shrugging, I went and sat on the bed. “Sure.”
Nate watched Teron with a bored expression, but his eyes tracked him like a predator. He mightn’t be standing over him with an ax this time, but he wasn’t dropping his guard either. Teron acknowledged him with a tilt of his chin, and having the two of them in a room raised the atmospheric temperature by several degrees.
Warm, soft fingers gripped my wrist as Teron counted my heartbeats. “I thought you might both have questions about the whole Fates thing. I’m not an expert, but I can give you the basics, along with my educated guesses. This isn’t really a topic where there are many experts.” He paused. “Well, there are experts, but they aren’t people you’d want to track down and ask questions, if you know what I mean.”
“Because they’re the ones trying to kill me with monster snake women?”
He winced, but nodded. “Exactly.” He pulled out a blood pressure cuff, wrapping it around my upper arm. We both watched the numbers rise and fall, but his face was almost professionally neutral. “A little high, but that’s to be expected. Nothing that I’m too stressed about yet.” He pulled out a stethoscope and placed it on my back. “So, questions?”
I looked at Nate, who was leaning forward in his chair. Despite his words about me being an anchor, I just needed to be sure. If not for me, then for the babies. “If one of the guys chokes on a grape and passes away, would that mean I’d die too?”
Teron chuckled. “We’re eternal, Wren. I can’t even count how many grapes we’ve choked on in the many lifetimes between us. We’re hardier than that. Someone would have to behead us with great purpose to kill us in that manner, and we are more than capable of fending off most attacks.” I didn’t miss the quick slide of his eyes to Nate. “And even if that weren’t true, I don’t believe that the death of any of your bonds would result in you dying too. The thread would just snap between you; you’re held too tightly to the mortal plane. It would be unbelievably painful, however. Like the feeling that drove you into Milo’s bed, times a thousand. You may wish for death.”
Well, that was basically what Nate had said, but fuck, Teron wasn’t sugar-coating it for me. Like a phantom limb, I could feel the ache of an imaginary loss in my chest.
I chewed my lip as Teron hovered close to my face, checking my temperature. “And I really have no choice in who I bond with?”
Teron’s hands stilled, his eyes dropping to mine briefly. “Yes and no. Fate won’t bond you to someone you won’t need. But you can choose as well, I believe—the way you chose the God of War over there. Or maybe he was chosen for you.” He shook his head. “You can never really know. Whether you fall in love with someone because your heart desires them, or because a higher being decided you needed them, is a mystery you may never know the answer to.
“However, you have a choice, because there is always a choice. If you want to break the bonds, there would be a way. I just don’t know what that way is right now…” He trailed off, as if it pained him that there was knowledge he hadn’t obtained yet. “But I can research it if you’d like.”
Did I want to break my bonds to Erus and Tryp? To Milo? I looked past Teron to Nate. Did I want to set him free? Every part of my soul rebelled at the thought. Selfishly, I couldn’t let him go now; I was way too attached. But the others? I barely knew them. Surely if I could break the ties between us, without hurting either of us, I should. Right?
My heart gave an irregular thump, and my gut churned. I hated the idea. How could I hate the idea already, when I barely knew them?
I was shaking my head before I even came to a conscious decision. “There are more important issues at hand.” Well, that sounded like a douche thing to say. “Unless the others want to find a way to sever the bond. I, uh, am not opposed to keeping the threads, if they don’t feel trapped.”
I didn’t know you could verbally dig yourself into a hole this deep, but here I was, halfway to Australia with my words.
Teron pulled back. “You have Milo forever now. I wouldn’t even bother asking. He hasn’t been this happy in”—he shrugged, like he couldn’t remember the last time Milo was happy—“maybe ever.”
How could that even be possible? He was thousands of years old, if their stories were to be believed.
“And Tryp and Erus?”
Teron’s lips curled in amusement. “You’ll have to ask them, but I think you’ll find that they’ll be more in line with Milo’s thinking then Demke’s.” He straightened back to his full height. “Everything looks good. The ultrasound machine should arrive later today. I managed to find someone to put it on a supply boat this morning, and one of the townspeople will collect it this afternoon. I’ll feel more confident once I can see what the fetuses are doing. I’m limited with the equipment I have right now.”
I couldn’t believe I was even considering having my babies on an island in the middle of the fucking ocean, to be delivered by a guy whose head shifted into an eagle’s if he didn’t concentrate hard enough.
In all honesty, sometimes I wasn’t convinced this wasn’t some grand coma delusion. It would be far more logical than my life now. But there was something reassuring about Teron, about how he made me feel. If I’d come across the ocean on a gut feeling, clearly I was going to have to commit to trusting it for everything, and my gut said that Teron wanted what was best for me and the babies. I didn’t understand it; however, that didn’t mean I wasn’t grateful.
“Thank you.”
He gave me an indecipherable look, and I could see the golden threads of his life force straining toward me. I leaned further back, dodging them like they were snakes and not lassos of commitment.
At this point, I’d probably prefer snakes.
Not that I didn’t want Teron. Hell, my vagina had gone rogue and wanted them all. Right now. Together. Separately. Propped upside down like a reverse wheelbarrow. She wasn’t fussy; she just wanted.
No, it was my pesky brain that ensured Teron’s threads didn’t wrap around my arms or throat, because I wasn’t ready. Did I think it was just a matter of time? Absolutely. Someday, I might drop my guard and add the handsome doctor to my merry band of unintentional—and probably unwilling—bondmates.
Until then, I’d give him a chance to survive this bullshit.