Chapter 4
four
Knocking on my door is a bold choice.
Someone letting themselves in?
Is a death wish.
Especially at this hour. I’m not a morning person—and any hour before noon is entirely too early for my packmates’ bullshit.
Yet here’s Finn—all six-foot-two inches of wavy brown hair and olive skin.
I thought he’d be hungover after the rager I had to listen to all fucking night.
Instead of sweats, though, he has on a silky white button-down and matching shorts.
They grip his tan thighs too tightly, displaying muscles we both know are just for show.
Much like the disingenuous smile fixed on his face.
“Hey, roomie.”
He’s right to flinch when my dog bares his teeth, snarling quietly. The white, dappled mastiff lying between my feet probably weighs more than Finn does. Though not quite as much as the bar I’m currently bench-pressing.
Thanks to our little “pack meeting” yesterday—and all the fucking strangers Finn had downstairs last night—my Alpha is pissed. So I’m not surprised when I reach for my voice and find it strangled. Instead, I shoot Finn my heaviest glare.
Get out.
Having silently delivered my message, I force myself to focus on the barbell above me, lifting it from the rack again. I channel all my aggression into pumping my arms, ignoring the violent clang in my middle.
It’s nothing new. My Alpha, quite frankly, wants to murder every single person we meet. Omegas, betas, other alphas. Old people, crossing guards, nurses, baristas.
And before you ask—no, there are no exceptions.
My dog curls his lip in another warning, trying to warn my dumbass packmate that his life is in danger. Finn glances nervously at the canine as I drop my bar back onto the rack. Scowling reluctantly, I snap my fingers and point to the floor.
Maximus snorts, keeping his glare trained on Finn as he drops his chin to his paws. Finn blows out a whistle, shaking his head.
“You don’t worry he’ll bite your balls off?”
Idiot.
Maximus would never bite me. He’s my only friend.
Reaching the end of my patience, I cast Finn a look that roughly translates to, I said, get the FUCK OUT.
No matter how many times I knock Finn down a peg, he always has the gall to look hurt. Which is annoying.
As if he doesn’t know the only thing I hate worse than a visitor is an unexpected visitor.
My stomach seethes—guilt pulling at the human piece my Alpha keeps ruthlessly buried under all our rage. It’s distracting, and the frustration that follows only amps up my ever-present fury.
Finn finally senses it. He steps back, wisely putting himself on the other side of my bedroom’s threshold, holding up both hands. He grimaces when Maximus makes another rumbling sound. “We’re heading out for Cillian’s bullshit mission. Atlas sent me to get you.”
Hmm. Because our alpha thinks I won’t fight this defenseless bastard? Or is Finn lying to get me to unwittingly take his place?
Either way, I roll my eyes, waving at the door. Then fucking leave.
Finn drops all his charming bullshit, scowling at me. “What are you doing, anyway?” he demands. “Haven’t you already worked out today? And didn’t you stay up here all night, too?”
Yes.
Aside from my freelance cyber security work, moving my body is one of the only things that helps keep me relatively sane. I did two extra strength circuits over the last twenty-four hours—because if I had gone downstairs and waded through his party, I might have hurt someone.
Maximus growls again, reacting to my glacial mood. I silence him with a pat on his head, meeting my packmate’s glower. Wishing, for a fleeting moment, that I had the ability to tell him the truth.
They might know the gist, but my Alpha has never allowed me to get the whole story out.
But even if I could talk… how the fuck do you tell someone what happened to me?
What I did? That I lost the one and only person I ever loved?
That it’s my fault she’s gone? How, if I let this rage build any higher, more people will die?
How, if I let myself speak, I might start screaming.
And, then I’d never be able to stop.
“Listen, Ryker…” Finn trails off, cringing. “If this is about that omega you, uh, liked…”
Maybe Finn isn’t quite as stupid as he pretends to be, because when Maximus growls again, deeper, he doesn’t finish his statement.
It’s too late, though. He brought up the one thing he shouldn’t have.
Leveling the other alpha with a murderous glare, I lumber to my feet. He scrambles backward as I approach, narrowly avoiding my door when it slams, right in front of his slightly crooked nose.
Good.
No one talks about my mate. The fact that he even alluded to her makes me want to light this whole house on fire.
And the truth is? It wouldn’t be my first.