Chapter 44
forty-four
My heart is so full, I feel like it could probably touch Ryker’s through his chest when he lies on top of me.
A growly purr vibrates behind his sternum and sinks into my breasts. They’re bare under this white sundress. Courtesy of Finn and his oh-so-persuasive grin.
Now, I get why he thought a bra might get in the way. Especially when Ryker hooks his calloused fingers into the bow at the front of my chest and tugs, untying the front and slackening all my straps at once.
The gleam smoldering in his hazel eyes probably ought to frighten me. Any other omega would likely see it, smell how his tonka essence has darkened, and run for the hills. Given the grim, determined set of his mouth, I’m not sure I’d blame them.
As I gaze up at my lion, though, I only feel love. Desire. The need to give him back the hiding place he used to live for.
So I pull his henley up. Slowly revealing the rows of his abs, the line of dark blond hair trailing under his navel, his broad, defined pecs.
All the things that make my mouth water—along with everything that pinches my lungs.
The too-lean slabs of muscle carved into his sides. The long-faded scratch marks on his hips and over his shoulders. The fear—oh God—lurking in his gold eyes.
Now I know: he isn’t afraid of me. Or getting this close to me. He’s afraid of hurting me while he does it.
My heart inflates again, nearly cracking in two for this alpha, and everything he’s endured to try to make his way back to me…
And for Finn.
He could have planned this entire date for himself and claimed extra time with me as his reward. Instead, he made this possible for me and Ryker. To give me something he knew would mean so much more than a normal courting gift.
My lion.
Our connection.
And, maybe, if I’m lucky, the ability for us to be tied together.
The thought shoots a shiver down my spine. Fresh perfume winds into the open air as slick creams the thin ribbon-tied panties covering my core.
Ryker groans roughly, kissing me until I have to gasp around his lips. His hands impatiently tug at his remaining clothes, baring himself without a scrap of grace.
Even with fire snapping higher and higher in his gaze, my lion is more circumspect with me. He slips my dress off slowly, panting as his burning eyes brand my skin. When he sees the underwear Finn magically produced from his pocket, Ryker’s breath stills.
In fact, he freezes completely, half bent over my body with his palms pressed to the mattress. Staring. Growling.
His cock is only a silhouette, from this angle, but it looks full to bursting, balanced by the tight balls behind it and the ever-expanding knot at its base. It looks darker than usual, too. Nearly purple, where thick veins beat along his shaft.
Lord, that has to be painful. Has this happened each time we edged closer to this line? Is he walking around like this every day? No wonder his Alpha has him in a chokehold…
Even now, Ryker’s throat bobs, struggling for one of his words. “Daisy.” This time, his voice comes out layered, as if his Alpha is fighting him for every syllable. “I—can’t—control—him.”
I see the panic rearing up inside my lion. Stiffening his scarred muscles, shuddering into his limbs. This is the moment when he usually rips himself off me. Pitches himself away.
But, no.
No.
Ryker needs me. I need him. And I refuse to give my past one more godforsaken piece of my life. Most definitely not this piece.
Not him.
He belongs to us, my Omega agrees. Not them.
Her words clang through me. I want to pretend I haven’t heard her—keep the careful distance between us that’s kept me sane while she grieves over Atlas’s rejection and endlessly apologizes for leaving me scared and alone all these years…
But she’s right.
This man is mine. Not the facility’s. Not even his Alpha’s.
Mine.
The ferocity of that word draws me upright. Ignoring the brush of my braid as it skims my bare back, I lift my hands. Reaching for Ryker. Gently planting my palms over his heaving chest, stroking carefully. Listening to my untrustworthy Omega—God help me—just this once.
“Don’t control him,” I whisper, staring into Ryker’s fathomless depths. “Let him out.”
Ryker visibly balks. His unkempt hair hangs loose around his shoulders as he shakes his head. “Can’t—daisy,” he strains, growling through gritted teeth. “He’ll—rut.”
Rut.
The word snaps through me, eliciting a tangled mess of reactions I can’t unriddle. On one hand, the concept isn’t exactly a favorite of mine, given where I’ve been. On the other…
My Omega floats back to the surface, prodding carefully. It doesn’t have to be like that, she whispers. If he needs us, and we take care of him, it can be different. Better. The way it always ought to have been.
The images she flashes send a needy whine up my throat, followed by a lump of longing as my Omega produces a different set of pictures.
Memories, this time. Ryker, in all his medically induced ruts—day after day, after day, after day. Tunneling into me and bearing down and roaring, sure, but—
Hiding in my hair, too. Shaking in the circle of my arms. Squeezing his eyes shut and whimpering against the curve of my shoulder, where no one else could hear.
Covered in scars and scratches, God, from all the equally drugged-up omegas they set loose on him. The way he sank into my calm care, rubbing my scentless skin like it was the only thing that would save him.
But now we’re here.
We have a future.
Freedom.
And I can’t let our past win. Not like this.
I lift my chin, meeting his wounded, white-hot eyes. “Then rut me,” I tell him. “But this time? I want you to knot me, too.”