Chapter 47
forty-seven
I burned it down.
Pure awe swells in my chest, painting a stammer over my pitiful purr. Did he really just speak? In a full sentence?
“R-Ryker?”
I should probably be more concerned with what he said, rather than the fact that he said it, but I can barely process the words. I’m too busy replaying his voice, trying to memorize every facet of the raspy timbre.
Ryker balances on his forearms, tangling his thick fingers into the fine hair at my temples. His eyes bounce between mine, anxious but brighter than I’ve ever seen them. The hazel glows gold as he forces a thick swallow.
And answers me.
“Yeah?”
I grin so hard, my cheeks ache and thin tears stream from the corners of my eyes. “You’re talking,” I breathe.
A glimmer of amusement flits over his brawny features, followed by an earnest rush of relief. “Y-yeah,” he says again, quieter. “I… am.”
Every word is perfectly clear, but there’s a strained undercurrent. Anxiety, perhaps, which would make sense. I imagine he’s waiting for his Alpha to choke him into silence again. Scared each word could be his last.
I purr again, putting my whole chest into it. The sound is still quiet, but Ryker groans, dropping his forehead to my breasts. He rubs a wide scent-mark there, exhaling in a quiver. His knot tugs at my inner walls. My slick heat flutters around him until we both draw ragged breaths.
This time, Ryker doesn’t fight himself or his Alpha. He pumps his hips, each roll more fluid than before. Within a minute, fresh waves of bliss swallow us both.
There are still flecks of glitter swimming in my vision when Ryker finishes unloading inside me again. The last of his tension ebbs, and he hugs me close before rolling us onto our sides, still tied together.
I hook my leg over his thigh and hold his scent in my lungs. I’m scared to move, waiting to see if the spell has been broken.
Will he be able to keep talking? Or will his Alpha yank it away?
His calloused hand snaps up to cup my chin, angling my face so he can pierce me with his hazel gaze. “I don’t know how long this will last, daisy. But—listen. I love you. If I don’t get to say anything else, ever… I need you to know that. I fucking love you.”
Intensity burns in his irises, the flames reminding me of his original statement. I open my mouth, but he snarls, continuing, “And I’d burn down a thousand of those shitholes—I’d sit in jail for the rest of my life—if it meant you were safe. Out here in the sunshine. Free.”
I burned it down.
Oh God. He really did.
“They told me you were”—Ryker loses his voice for a moment, grinding his teeth before finally bursting—“dead. And I have no idea what those fuckers expected, but once I thought you were gone, my Alpha stopped responding to everything they did. Rut inducers and blockers didn’t work.
He went feral, attacking everyone and anything. ”
Haunting memories flicker in his gold gaze.
He clears a growl from his throat. “They had no choice but to release me. I still don’t know why they didn’t put me down—maybe one of the handlers felt bad for me.
But they basically sedated me and dumped me in a halfway house with an embellished criminal record: Multiple counts of assault and arson, it said.
And you were gone, so I figured… why the hell not? ”
Remembered dread sinks into my stomach. Each time they moved me, it was the same process. Someone would come around with my “usual” treatments and inject me with a tranquilizer instead. I’d be in one place one minute… and wake up somewhere completely different.
I burrow into Ryker, burying a silent sob in my chest. He cups the back of my head, spearing thick fingers into my braid. His purr is as rumbly as ever—and that one bit of familiarity is enough to release the tears clouding my eyes.
“Thank you,” I sniffle, scent-marking the scars over his heart. “For destroying that place. And for looking for me, even though you thought I was—”
Ryker snuggles me closer, turning his face into my crown. “I’d look for you in every life, Violet,” he murmurs. “You’re mine. You always were.”
I settle into his embrace, whispering, “I love you, too. I-I never knew my designation or who I was supposed to be. But I knew I belonged to you. No matter what.”
Ryker shudders as I skim my hand down his side. The knot inside me ticks fuller. I tilt my gaze up to his face. “Do you think you’ll only be able to talk while we’re knotted or…?”
His answering shrug is taut. “I don’t know. Usually, my Alpha is like a collar, wrapped around my throat.”
I listen, letting him find the right words. It can’t be easy after going so long without them. Finally, he rasps, “When I try to talk, the collar gets tighter and tighter. Until I either have to stop breathing or quit trying to force the words out.”
“Ryker,” I whisper, hugging him. Sprinkling more tears onto his chest. “That sounds awful.”
He doesn’t deny it. Instead, the burly alpha bends to bury his face in his favorite spot, against the curve of my shoulder. “The worst part is letting you down, daisy. I don’t want to disappoint you if I wake up tomorrow and I can’t fucking—”
Frustration cuts off the rest of his thought. I press my purr tight to his, nuzzling his beard. “I won’t be disappointed in you, Ryker. Not for this.”
He blows out an unsteady breath, but eventually nods. Silence settles over us for a moment before he murmurs, “You’d always be able to hear me… if we had a bond.”
Hope glows to life, blazing behind my heart. “Would you… want that? A bond? Even though we can’t make one as a pack now, without Atlas?”
Ryker rolls me onto my back again, his gaze intent. Smoldering. “I want you,” he husks. “Safe. Whether that’s in my arms, locked with me like this, or with your bond buried inside me.”
He frames my face with his hands, brushing Finn’s daisy crown with reverence. His throat bobs, turning his voice to a rough whisper as he confesses, “Because never being able to lose you again? Is my idea of heaven.”
When Ryker lets Finn help us get upstairs, I’m not sure which of them is more surprised.
My lion’s Alpha seems completely tame, for the time being, but the two men still grouse at one another while Ryker bundles me against his torso and Finn walks in front of us, ready in case Ryker’s knot suddenly releases and I fall.
Watching them work together like this might be hilarious, if it wasn’t also breaking my heart and healing it at the same time.
They bicker under their breath, shooting each other death glares and sighing constantly.
Unsurprisingly, Ryker is the grumpiest. While he’s tied to me, he refuses to let Finn lay a finger on me at all.
Finn might argue under normal circumstances, but I think hearing Ryker’s voice rattles him into acceptance.
It’s to be expected, I suppose. Alphas usually go a bit crazy the first time they knot their omegas. And Ryker has always been especially protective.
But I’m his—so that means Finn is, too.
Much to their mutual dismay.
By the time Ryker’s knot deflates, I’m too warm and content to care who growls at whom. It’s late; Finn left us out in the meadow as long as he could, but finally came to fetch us at midnight.
They walk into my room just as I manage to wiggle off Ryker’s spent cock. He growls at the slippery sensation, and Finn chuckles.
“I would bite her first, obviously,” he asserts, continuing their argument from our trudge up the stairs.
It’s a silly one, since, without their pack alpha completing our half-bond, any tethers I make with the guys will be separate from one another.
In fact, I suspect they’re only fighting about this to make sure I know just how much they both want me.
Ryker chuffs. “Fuck off. I met her way before you did.”
“And I knotted her first,” Finn retorts, grinning. “Plus, I’m older than you.”
“By three months,” Ryker grumbles.
Finn shakes his head in mock disapproval. “God, you are such a Scorpio.”
I hide my snort in Ryker’s neck. My stomach rumbles, reminding me what Gideon said about eating after a long bout of knotting. I consider summoning the courage to speak up about it when Ryker stops short.
Finn follows suit, both of them staring at whatever they’ve found on my bed. I crane my head around, blinking in astonishment.
My heart swells and flips. Because, sitting in the middle of my quilt? There’s a purple friendship bracelet with my name on it.