Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
C aspian
Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. All night, all I can smell is Ry in my room, and of course, I wake up with raging wood, looking for more. This tour is about our big break, not about getting laid.
Why can’t it be both?
Great, now the voice in my head finally decides to speak up after the silent treatment last night. If it’s possible, I give my inner voice the middle finger. Wandering into the bathroom, I grudgingly wash my face, not wanting to lose any of Ry’s scent. Last night can’t happen again. I get dressed and head to the kitchen, where, shockingly, everyone is already up and moving. Ry is pouring coffee into travel mugs while Koa mans the toaster. She’s thankfully wearing jeans and a hoodie, but it doesn’t stop my mind from picturing the body underneath the loose-fitting material.
Quinn is the first to look my way. I can feel the guilt slowly notching up, and I fight to keep it off my face. He’s too good at guessing shit like this, and if he figures it out and tells Seth….
“Look who decided to get up finally. You must have slept well,” Quinn says, and I nod toward the coffee.
“It was decent. You have one of those for me?” Quinn holds up the black mug. I pick it up and take a swig. “I’ll start loading the van.”
“Already done,” Finn pipes up and says, half of a bagel hanging out of his mouth. “Ry is worse than you are. Total taskmaster, she had us up at four.”
“Oh…okay…thanks,” I say, but everyone is too busy getting their breakfast to notice me. This is weird. Leaning against the counter, I keep my eyes on Ry, her smile or, more accurately, her mouth. Shaking my head to rid it of the visceral images of last night, I grab the bag of blueberry bagels and toss one into the toaster.
As soon as we’re alone, I step up beside her. “We need to talk,” I say.
“About what?” Ry stares at me, her gray eyes all innocent and shit, but she knows exactly what she’s doing to me, licking the jam off of her fingers. Each digit disappears inside her mouth, and my already misbehaving cock thickens.
“You know what, we can’t do it again,” I say, looking over my shoulder. No one is in earshot.
“What did we do?”
“This is not funny, Ry. We can’t do anything like that again,” I repeat, hoping that I’ll feel the conviction of my words.
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to be more clear. I don’t remember doing anything that we can’t do again.”
I want to snarl at her. “What we did. What you did,” I say firmly, making sure to emphasize her sneaking into my room. “Your brother will cut me up into tiny pieces. It was a one-time thing, that’s it.”
Her bottom lip pushes out as she tilts her head. “I don’t know what you’re going on about, but you better grab your bagel, or it’s going to burn.” As soon as I look away, she slips past me and out the door. Son of a bitch. I look at my bagel and then at the empty doorway. It can’t have been a dream…can it? No. Maybe? No. She’s fucking with me. Fuck.
I butter my bagel and grab my travel mug before meeting everyone at the door. My mom is up just to say goodbye. I love that even though I’m twenty-three now, she still gets tears in her eyes whenever I leave. I wrap my mom up in a hug.
“I’m going to miss all of you. I won’t miss the noise, but the house isn’t going to be the same without seeing you every day. I’m so proud.” Pulling back, I give my mom a kiss on the forehead.
“I’ll miss you too, mom.”
“Same, Mrs. Knight,” comes the choir of voices and hugs.
Stepping outside, I’m thankful that it hasn’t started to snow yet, even though the sky is gray and overcast. Glancing at Ry, she gives me a wink, and it’s fitting that the sky is ready to open up and dump all over me. What the hell am I thinking? I’m never going to be able to keep this secret from Seth.
Waving to my mom and giving the house a final look, I slide into the front passenger seat. The poor van is stuffed to the brim with luggage and equipment, and I can almost hear it groan as we pull away from the curb.
We haven’t been on the road for more than five minutes, and Ry’s giggling from the back is already setting my teeth on edge. Not because it’s annoying…it’s not. But because Finn and Quinn are teasing her and tickling her, causing the sexy sound.
“Okay, enough back there. Koa is trying to keep the van on the road,” I bark and shoot them a glare.
“It’s not bothering me,” Koa says, and I’ve never wanted to punch my friend in the face so hard as I do right now.
“Not the point. We don’t need to drive off the road before we get to our first gig.” I cross my arms and stare out the side window, but I still know the precise moment Ry moves. Her mouthwatering cherry scent gets stronger a second before she places her hand on my shoulder.
“Sorry, Daddy Cas,” she says, and my head whips in her direction, catching her as she drags her lip through her teeth. I’m worried about corrupting Ry, but it is becoming very clear that I’ll be the one who is corrupted. Either that or she’ll kill me with an unquenchable need. “We’ll behave like good little children,” she says, running her hand down my arm before turning on the radio. I’m stunned into silence and left staring like an idiot. “Does this van have a place to plug in a phone?”
“Yeah, here you go,” Koa offers and pulls up a white cord for Ry.
Ry glances at me as she plugs in her phone. “Give me your phone.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Why?”
“Just do it. Where am I going to go? Or do you have a bunch of dick picks you don’t want me to see?” The challenge is dancing in her eyes. My teeth clench. Fuck my life. Pulling out my phone, I hand it over. “Unlock it,” Ry sighs, and I hold it up to my face and then hand it over again.
There is some serious trepidation as she begins going through my apps. I have no idea what she is looking for, and I can’t think of anything that’ll be embarrassing, but I won’t put it past her to send a message to Seth from my phone about our extracurricular activities. Not anymore. Consider my eyes open after last night.
“What the heck are you doing?” Ry holds up the phone and begins making sexy faces. I go to snatch it from her, but she sits back, laughing. “Ry, give me back my phone.”
“Untwist your boxers, geez.” She hits a few buttons and then holds my phone out. I stare at her and then look at my phone and glare at the image of her making a kissy face as my new background.
“I can’t keep my phone like this,” I say, but the next words out of her mouth stop me.
“You will unless you want me to blab to Seth about last night.” A cold sweat breaks out as all the guys look in my direction.
“What?” Not really an intelligent comeback, but it’s all my brain can come up with.
“Oh, this is getting good. What the fuck happened last night?” Quinn scoots closer, and Finn follows like they are moving in for storytime. Koa keeps looking over when he should be keeping his eyes on the road. Trapped…that is the only word to describe how I feel.
“Nothing. Stop staring at me like that,” I blurt. Quinn laughs.
“Did you two fuck,” Koa asks, his tone holding a thread of worry, which doesn’t make me feel any better.
“How the hell did I miss that? I was holding you all night…wasn’t I,” Quinn asks Ry, and the fear turns green in my stomach. Jealousy bubbles as I glare at my friend.
“Maybe it was immaculate fucking? Or is he like the invisible man,” Finn offers, and I shake my head at him and his ridiculous response.
“No! We did not have sex. Ry, tell them.” Pointing to the guys, my eyes plead with her to keep what happened between us. I mean, she snuck into my room and technically assaulted me in the middle of the night. I’ll never call it that because I would do it all over again, and she knows it. But that’s not the point. You haven’t seen me slinking out to the living room in the dead of night and whisking her off to fuck. Not that it hasn’t crossed my mind. This is too confusing.
“Not until you agree to leave the picture as your background and lock screen.” She crosses her arms over her chest, and I know her so damn well that I know when she’s serious.
“Fine, I’ll leave it, at least for as long as we are on tour,” I say in total defeat. One fucking night and she’s already holding it over me. I’m going to be blackmailed for the rest of my life to keep Seth from finding out. I can already see it.
“There, was that so hard? No, we didn’t have sex,” Ry confirms, and the guys groan like they’re all disappointed with the lack of gossip. Assholes. “All I mean is that I can tell Seth anything. Who do you think he’s going to believe?”
“What the fuck, Ry,” I swear and look away from her devious eyes. Whatever this game is that she’s playing, it’s dangerous. I should’ve just said no. I should’ve kicked her out last night.
“Well, that’s boring. I was hoping the two of you stopped dancing around your overly obvious want to do the bump and grind and finally did the deed,” Finn says, and I lock my jaw to keep from commenting. How the fuck do I get out of this mess? Nothing intelligent is coming to me.
Four hours later, I’m ready to kill Quinn. If he pulls Ry into his lap one more time, I’m going to lose it on him. This last time, he lays her across his lap and spanks her while she laughs hysterically. Just as I’m getting ready to break my silence, we pull into a truck stop.
Jumping out before the van comes to a stop, I march for the front door, yank it open, and head for the men’s room. Quinn is next in and stands beside me at the urinal.
“Stop fucking touching her,” I growl under my breath.
“Naw, you have no claim over Ry. If she wants to fuck me, I’m not going to stop her,” he says, and if we weren’t standing with our cocks in our hands, I would’ve jumped on him to kick his ass. “You’re the one that’s too fucking scared of Seth to take what you want when she clearly wants you. You snooze, you lose.”
Finishing, I wash my hands and stare at my friend out of the corner of my eye. “You don’t give a shit about the consequences?”
He shrugs and stuffs himself back in his jeans before heading over to the sink. “Why would I? Seth isn’t here. We’re on the road for six months. She’s smoking hot, an adult, and you heard Seth. Ryver is fucking more than him. He seemed almost proud.” Grabbing towels, he dries off his hands and lobs the little ball of paper across the room into the trash. “She’s horny as fuck, and honestly…I’d rather she fuck all of us than go hunting for some sketch guy at one of the venues and get hurt.”
“Wow, you managed to turn having sex with your friend’s sister into a chivalrous act. I’m impressed,” I say and roll my eyes at him.
“Am I wrong? Some of these stops aren’t exactly five-star venues with stand-up citizens. You can’t tell me that some drunk fucker won’t want to get their hands on her and cock in her if given a chance.” I don’t move as Quinn pulls open the door and looks at me. “We’re eating here. We’ll be in the restaurant when you’re done contemplating how to cut your cock off rather than just using it.”
“Fuck you, asshole. It’s not a crime to have morals,” I yell after him and then whip around and punch the stall door, slamming it open with a bang. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The worst part is that he makes it sound so easy, and the part about Ry sneaking off to be with someone else boils my blood to the point of seeing red. It’s easy not to think about her having a life, dating, or having sex when I don’t see her all the time. Now we are tripping over one another, and that one taste last night…has stirred up all the shit I lock up tight.
Taking a deep breath and one foot in front of the other, I make it to the table and slide into the booth beside Koa. Ignoring the looks and silence that fills the booth, I flick the plastic menu up and stare at the options.
“Hi there, how can I help ya,” the waitress says as she sets five mugs down and fills them with coffee.
“I’ll have your cheese omelet with fries,” Finn says.
“I’ll have the waffle with fresh fruit, and can I get extra whipped cream with that?” Glancing above my menu, I stare into Ry’s stormy gray eyes and can’t stop myself from imagining spreading that whipped cream all over her body and licking it off. Her lip turns up just enough that I know she is thinking the same thing, and I quickly look away.
“And what about you handsome,” the waitress asks. I point to the breakfast special. “Perfect. Be right back.”
“We should roll into the area by two, but we’ll be way too early for setup. So, I’m thinking we pass Grayling and head on to Mackinac Bridge to get some pictures. It’ll be good for our social media to post as we travel. We can even drum up excitement for our next stop and get advice on where to eat and take pictures next,” Koa says, laying his phone down to show us.
“I love that idea,” Ry says. “I’m great at getting fun photos and generating excitement.”
“What do you think, Cas?” Koa looks at me, and I have to admit it’s brilliant in the simplicity of it. I nod.
“I like it. I just don’t want to be late for setup,” I say, and everyone laughs. “What? What did I say?”
“Dude, you’re the only person I know who would make sure they are not late for their own funeral. Setup is at nine, and it’s just over an hour to get from the bridge to Grayling. Trust me, we’ll be there on time.”
“Fine, let’s do it.”
“This is amazing.” Finn’s enthusiasm is infectious, and in a blink, all the earlier turmoil is behind us. We are laughing and joking as we start picking out more spots to stop the next two weeks. Even as our food arrives, we don’t stop chatting and making plans.
“Hey,” Quinn says. I look up from my food and almost choke on my bacon as I watch the scene in front of me. Ry has obviously taken some of her whipped cream and smeared it on Quinn’s cheek, and he now has a hold of her wrist and is sucking her fingers one at a time into his mouth. Ry picks up more, but this time, she licks it off her finger. I struggle to swallow as she sucks her finger all the way into her mouth. The memory of what her lips feel like wrapped around my cock races to the surface of my mind and is quickly followed by blood to my cock.
“We should take this with us. I know a few other spots I’d like to put it,” Quinn says, and as hot as this is to watch, it’s biting my ass.
“Can I get in on this? I like whipped cream and…other things,” Finn joins in, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“Can you guys fucking knock it off,” I hiss, my fist clenching. The word mine is marching through my mind, and I want to break all their fingers. I suck in a deep breath. No, she’s not, and I’m lying to myself to think otherwise. I’ll have an easier time claiming that the wind is mine than claiming her. “You know what…no. Do whatever you want.”
Opening my wallet, I toss enough down for all the food and get up to leave. “Where are you going,” Koa asks, but I ignore him, just needing to put distance between Ry and me.
After buying smokes from the gas station side of the truck stop, I step outside. Pulling one out, I light it but then just stare at the little orange glow. On the surface, it looks like I have my shit together and that I have everything you could want, but in reality, I’m an emotional wreck. My parents are getting a divorce but don’t want me to know. My grandmother, who is my biggest cheerleader, has dementia and, most of the time, can’t remember my name. I’m a college dropout, and this tour is the one thing I’m hinging my entire future on. But on top of all that, I battle imposter syndrome every waking moment of a goddamn day and am madly in love with my best friend’s sister. She’s like my fucking sister. We’ve grown up together, and I’ve watched her learn how to ride a bike and have seen her get her heart broken by the first boy she dated. He may have ended up with a broken nose, but the point is that she is the one thing that can completely destroy me.
Pathetic? Maybe, but I’ve always been wrapped around her finger. I’ve certainly never made any other relationship stick. This is the exact reason why I don’t want her to come with us. I know that I won’t be able to control my feelings with her around all the time. I’m fucked, that’s all there is to it.