22. Winona
Winona
There is no surprise more magical
than the surprise of being loved.
~ Charles Morgan
The drive down Salt Lick Road gives me time to think. My radio is on, and I’m singing along, but my mind is elsewhere—on Declan.
The farther I get from town, the prettier Tennessee becomes. The trees are putting on their fall show. Some still have a smattering of green, but most have gone gold and orange, with a few maples showing off in shades of red.
The morning air is crisp with the kind of bite that makes me want to curl up near a fire—one fire in particular would be nice. A smile spreads across my face as I replay our kisses that first night over again for the thousandth time.
Why me? What does he see?
He’s so all in, it’s surprising.
I had no idea he felt anything for me but a kind of friendship born out of our constant time together.
But since we kissed, Declan’s been making every effort to show me how much he cares about me—constantly touching me, kissing me when I least expect it, saying the sweetest things about me.
It’s all so completely beyond what I ever imagined.
The feelings I have for Declan don’t fit into an easy description.
I’ve never felt this way before. I love Cass and my parents, and my friends, of course.
But just thinking of Declan sends my heart racing.
It’s a good kind of racing—a mixture of hope, attraction and nerves.
I’m pretty sure those nerves will settle over time.
He’s so much more than anyone knows. There’s a side to him he only shows me—or at least that’s how it seems—warm, caring, funny.
He jokes with his team and with Patrick, but the way he is with me is different.
I still can’t wrap my brain around the fact that he said we’re dating.
Nonchalant and absolute. As if it were not even up for question.
My smile takes over my face again. I guess I’m just going to have to get used to going through the world with an exaggerated grin on my face for a while.
I turn onto Old Man Calhoun’s gravel driveway.
I’ve been coming here two days a week over the past few weeks since he broke his hip and had a replacement surgery.
The barn door is open. The sky above it is impossibly blue.
The smell of woodsmoke and animals fills the air when I hop out of my car and approach the barn.
“Mr. Calhoun!” I shout when I get closer.
The scene should not surprise me. At least he’s using his walker.
“What are you doing?” I ask, even though the answer is plain to both of us.
“Oh! Winona. Well, you see … I was just grabbing down a little feed.”
I pop my hand on my hip. “What did the doctor say about lifting after your surgery?”
“Doctors don’t run farms.”
“But they do run farmers. They know what’s best. Do you want to end up hurting yourself?”
“I’ve been hauling feed my whole life, long before you were born.”
“That bag might weigh more than I do.”
“Not unless you weigh twenty-nine pounds.” He humphs as if he made his point.
“I know you’ve been running this farm forever.” I drop my hand and walk over toward him. “And I respect you for it. But for the time being, you aren’t supposed to lift more than five pounds. The Lawson boys said they’d come over. Why don’t you let them?”
He shakes his head. “I know this is going to make me sound old and stubborn, but I don’t like shoving my work off on anyone. I’m a farmer. We do our own work. I’ve already got my nephew coming to help me in and out of the shower. It don’t get much lower than that.”
I study him, salt-and-pepper hair, wrinkled skin from a life lived outdoors, a sturdy frame, even after surgery.
“I bet you helped out plenty of your neighbors over the years,” I say.
“Sure did. Anytime I could.”
“Well. It seems it’s your turn to let them return the favor.”
He wags his finger at me. “I see what you did there.”
I smile. “And?”
“You drive a hard bargain, Winona. But I’ll do what you say. I’ll put in a call to the Lawsons.”
“Good. Now. Let’s go check your meds and I’ll unload the groceries I picked up for you.”
After another hour at Old Man Calhoun’s, I get another promise out of him to call the Lawsons and then I pull a three-point turn and head out the gravel driveway back toward Waterford.
My phone rings when I’m only a mile away from Mr. Calhoun’s farm. Unknown number. Probably a job.
“Hello,” I answer through my Bluetooth.
“Winona?”
“Yes.”
“Hi. It’s Zara. Zara Hill, Liam and David Goddard’s sister?”
“Hi, Zara. What can I do for you?”
“Well, we got some dachshunds recently. Three of them, to be exact.”
“So fun!”
“Fun. Yes. But also … Well, our life is more chaotic than when we had our first baby.”
“Puppies can turn a house upside down.”
“They aren’t puppies. They’re rescues.”
“Oh! That’s so sweet.”
“Marie said so many good things about how you handled her dogs. I just knew I could trust you with these three.”
“Thank you. I do my best.”
“Well, the one I need you to meet before you work with him is Slinky. He’s a sweetie, but he gets into the trash, unzips bags, climbs up onto the beds and couches and falls off. He basically self-destructs.”
“Like a bomb?”
“Sort of.”
“Oh my.”
“You’ll just have to keep an eye on him.”
We talk a little while longer. She tells me about the other two dogs, The Honorable Frank, and Ethel.
I’ve got to take Declan to the practice facility later, but I’ve got time now, so I ask Zara, “Are you free now? I could stop by before my afternoon appointment.”
Afternoon appointment. Declan’s so much more.
I spend a few hours with Zara and the dogs. Then I drive to Declan’s.
He calls me while I’m on the way.
“Hey,” his deep voice fills my car.
“Hey, yourself.”
“How’s your day going?”
“Good. I saw Mr. Calhoun and then I met some dachshunds. Zara Hill got three new dogs. She wants me to walk them and dog-sit.”
“Your life is never dull.”
“Rarely. How about you?”
“I spent the morning watching SportsCenter and trying not to watch the clock.”
“The clock?”
“Am I really admitting this?”
“Admitting what?”
“I’ve been dying to see you.”
“Me too.” My cheeks tug up and there’s that smile again. It’s a different kind of smile. New and warm and all-encompassing. “I’m almost to gate number one.”
He chuckles. “I want to blast down those gates.”
“Then all the gemstones and spice rack girls would have full access,” I tease.
“Yeah. None of that. Only one woman gets past my gates.”
I soak that in. I don’t know how I became that one woman. But it goes both ways. I don’t have gates leading to my home, but if I did, he’d be the only one I’d let in.
“Still there?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just … trying to wrap my brain around us.”
“As soon as you’re here, I’ll help you with that.”
A blush rises up my neck, prickling in a sweet way.
“Seriously, though, what’s so hard to wrap your brain around?” Declan asks.
My answer is quick. I have nothing to hide from him. “I didn’t see this coming.”
“What? Us?”
“Us. And the way you’re so … expressive. I thought I was sitting on one-sided feelings. And then we kissed and you showed up at my house … It all took me off guard. In a good way. I just didn’t expect it to go from zero to sixty.”
“Like my favorite cars,” he muses with a soft laugh. Then he says, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, but I can be intense.”
“No. Really?” I laugh.
His laughter fills my car. “And when I want something, I want it. And I pursue it.”
“Pursuing us, in this scenario?”
“A relationship with you, yes. And since you gave me the green light, I’m not holding back.”
I shake my head. “Gate two,” I tell him as I pass through the second gate.
“Is it so hard to believe I want you?” he asks.
“A little, yeah.”
“Well, give me time to convince you. I’ve got exquisite taste, Winona.”
“And your taste extends to relationships?”
“Where you’re concerned, yes. You’re not like anyone else I’ve ever known.”
“Because I come with a visiting goat and a porch goose? Or is it my amazing skill at throwing a football?”
He’s quiet for a beat. His voice is filled with so much sincerity when he finally speaks. “All of the above. And more.”
My breath stalls. He means every word. I don’t have a space in my brain to file away the kind of compliments he’s dishing out so consistently, but I’m going to try to make one.
“I’m almost to your house,” I say.
“Did you eat?”
“Not yet.”
“I’ll be in the kitchen. Sandwich good?”
“A sandwich sounds great.”
After lunch, I drive Declan to the practice facility. He rests his hand on my neck again and I lean into his touch, getting just a little more used to this. I pull into the lot and park. Declan leans over and kisses me goodbye.
I drive home and study for a while and then I run some errands Cass needs me to handle.
I return to pick Declan up just before dinnertime.
I wait in the car and he propels out toward me.
I watch him, unable to stop looking at him if I wanted to.
He’s so objectively gorgeous, his dark hair pushed back from his face, his muscular body maneuvering as if propelling crutches is a sport in itself.
When he gets close enough, his eyes lock on mine and a smile spreads across his face.
He tosses his crutches into the back of the car, holds the roof and pivots into the seat.
“If this whole football thing doesn’t work out, I think you could go into the circus.”
He laughs hard. “You think?”
“I do. You’ve got moves, Declan.”
“I’m dying to show them to you, too.”
I blush, all the way up through my cheeks.
He cups the back of my head and leans in, tugging me toward him. Then he kisses me right where the flush is the hottest.
“Missed you,” he says.
“I missed you too,” I admit.
“The guys were bummed you weren’t at lunch. I told them we already ate together, but they still teased me that I had chased you off.”
“Not a chance,” I assure him.
He smiles, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes.
“Tired?” I ask, softening my voice.
He fills the passenger side of my car with his massive frame, but when he lays back like that, he looks almost boyish.