Chapter 17
Tank
“Why do I feel you’re about to confirm what she’s saying is true?” Dad says, tension in his voice as I watch my girl walk away, the conversation finished for her.
The look of defeat on her face, after barely five hours back home, hurts because she’s done with me, with us.
Fuck.
I love her. That’s why I’m struggling and hurting this much. I can’t get those five years back with Aisling, or the six lost with my girl, because she chose not to speak to me, knowing my stance in the club.
I would have done everything in my power to protect them both, including leaving the club, which I did anyhow, yet after five hours of not dealing with her repercussions, she’s done.
I really shouldn’t have drugged her, maybe we could have spoken calmer and I wouldn’t have walked away like I did upstairs.
Fuck, I shouldn’t have walked away and made her feel cheap, she’s anything but cheap.
“Son,” Dad pries, and I sigh as I look his way.
No matter what’s been said, no matter how thick the tension and resentment between us, I fucking hate that I’m about to hurt him.
“Mama was what broke the camel’s back, so to speak.
She is the reason Jas decided to run rather than speak to me.
Jas was attacked by her own mother and got the doctors to write she miscarried and she booked it after Mama claimed she would have slit my daughter’s throat if she had been born,” I finally inform him, “That is why Doc wanted her out, why I left the fucking club after you all sided with that woman who, fuck Dad, she made my life hell before you decided to train me for the enforcer role then tried dictating my whole life when you went to Tiffany after finding out she cheated several times.”
A storm of emotions flickers across his face, but the final one—raw, pure anger—stuns me. Jas saw it coming, but I waited for disbelief instead just like she got.
“What do you mean by making your life hell before I started training you?” Dad demands lowly, and I deflate.
I may have been hoping he wouldn’t want the details but I guess I’m not that lucky.
“She forced me to wear dresses,” I reluctantly admit and he stumbles back, his mouth dropping and I swallow hard as I turn and show him my back—the burn marks and scars that are still visible despite the tattoos—and say, “I got those when I went against her.”
I turn back to him to see him holding his chest, and I panic.
Fuck, is he having a heart attack?
"Dad?!" I question and step forward, my eyes wide but he puts his hand up, keeping one on his chest, and chokes , “The long hair? The nail varnish? It wasn’t a phase?” I swallow and shake my head, and he asks, “And then at fourteen?”
“Kate became the daughter she wanted, and I was forced to date her. Otherwise, she gave me more burn marks and threatened to show the videos and photos of how she dressed me,” I croak and he turns around, breathing heavily.
“The reason you never came to the club before handing in your cut, why she doesn’t know your address, or why you never speak to her…” He questions again, turning to look at me, wanting the confirmation.
I say, “It’s all because of her and the blindness you, my own father, and my club brothers had where she was concerned over me.”
Dad’s mouth bobs like a fish, his face pale, but before he can ask any more questions, a knock sounds at the door, confusing me and I frown but I can’t help the small smile that forms when Jas calls out of habit, “I’ve got it.”
Fuck, I never knew how much I missed that.
“You’ve missed her,” Dad whispers with sadness.
"With every goddamn bone in my body, and I hate it because she chose to run," I admit, not looking his way. My voice tightens as I continue, "It's true, and I wish it wasn't," revealing just how much I struggle with it.
“Your mother twisted her arm, son,” he says, choking back pain and I look down.
“But she knew who I was, Dad,” I whisper in return, just as Jas calls, “Logan, it’s for you, your cougar is back.”
I shoot my head up and my eyes widen as my dad’s mouth drops open, and I mutter, “Fuck” as I quickly rush past him.
My dad follows and demands, “I thought you hadn’t touched that woman since meeting Jasmine?!”
“I haven’t,” I growl as we walk towards the front door, just as I hear Jas encourage, “I dare you,” her voice low and menacing.
Shit.
“Okay, I now see your concern wasn’t about Lyndsey confessing you two have been at it like rabbits,” my dad states unhelpfully and I roll my eyes at him.
Fucker.
I stop just behind Jas, my girl whose face is red, her hands before her, ready to fight, and my lips twitch.
She’s so fucking adorable.
“Fierce woman you’ve got, son,” my dad mumbles beside me, and I hum because yeah, that she is.
She went on the run while pregnant just to fucking save our daughter and me so I know she’s fierce. I know she’s always wanted freedom, which is why deep down I believe she most likely took that way out, and that is a hard fucking pill to swallow.
“Hey Tank,” Lyndsey says, husking her voice like my father and girl aren’t standing with me, gaining my attention, and I scrunch my nose at the fucking cliché.
Fuck me, it’s seven years ago all over again.
Jas mumbles quietly, “Well, it’s good to know your cougar whore doesn’t call you your legal name,” but again, my lips twitch because, of course, I heard her.
Is it bad that I love her jealousy when before her I fucking hated it?
“No one is allowed to call him his birthname, so respect that!” Lyndsey snaps, and I growl, taking a step forward, ready to strangle the bitch for talking to my girl that way because of course, Jas is still and will always be my girl, but Jas chuckles, stopping me.
“Funny, I’m pretty sure it says Logan on my ribs, not Tank, and on our daughter’s birth records too,” Jas gloats, my stomach tightening at her words, my heart fluttering knowing she put me on Aisling’s records, before she leans forward and grins, “And it’s my name tattooed large down his forearm.”
Lyndsey’s eyes widen the more Jas speaks, especially at the daughter comment, but they soon swing to my arms, where they are crossed over my chest to see if Jas is telling the truth.
I have two choices here: show Lyndsey my arm and stop a catfight I know will break out, or let Jas look embarrassed for trying to claim me as punishment.
“Don’t do it,” my dad coughs behind his hand seeing my dilemma, and I sigh because yeah, I can’t do it and I won’t hurt her that way. That, and she’ll never let me near her body again if I did.
I drop my arms and turn my left, causing Lyndsey to suck in a breath eyeing each letter before she stands up straight and looks at me, determination showing in her eyes.
Fuck me, she’s going to make me kill her, isn’t she?
Before Lyndsey can even say anything though, Jas shakes her head at the woman and mutters, “Pathetic, old cougar,” which has my dad full-out laughing before she turns around and locks eyes with me, hers showing anger and heartbreak, and that has me standing straighter because what the fuck has her looking at me like that?
“I honestly thought you were screwing the nurse, but I guess you're screwing both,” she whispers, and I blink.
Nurse? What fucking…?
Shit, Nell.
I slightly groan as she goes to walk past me, knowing I won’t open my mouth and put her out of her misery, but fuck, when she stops and says, “At least I stayed true to myself where you were concerned, you just can’t say the same,” I nearly fucking cave and I have to fist my hands to stop myself from grabbing her.
I watch as she walks to the stairs, and I can’t help but be glad that she’s hurting right now, that she thinks I’ve been with these women when I fucking haven’t.
For six years, she has been all I have ever wanted, and even when I said I needed to move on, deep down I knew it was bullshit because I can’t move on, not where she’s concerned.
I haven’t touched Lyndsey since I met Jas, and as for Nell, the encounter I fucking knew she saw because I felt her eyes on me, I was telling the woman to fuck off and leave me alone after she tried to corner me before I walked into my daughter’s hospital room.
Jasmine Williams is the only girl I have been with since we met.
Jas stops on the bottom step, and I tilt my head as I watch her take a breath before she demands, “And put your damn cut back on, you look weird!” then she stomps back upstairs without another word.
Should have seen that one coming.
“I like her,” Dad mutters, and I roll my eyes and turn back to Lyndsey, only to tense seeing her coat is wide open, and yep, cliché, she’s naked.
“Fucking hell,” Dad grunts, looking away, shocked she’s actually opened her coat with him here, her best friend’s husband, and I growl with anger, though the smirk on her face, I think she believes is with lust.
She opens her mouth, but words escape her as we hear, “Daddy, daddy….” and she freezes with shock.
When she doesn’t move to close her coat as Aislings steps get louder, I snap, “Close that fucking coat—my daughter’s coming, you stupid bitch!”
She snaps out of her head and quickly closes her coat and I scoff, “Honestly, Lyndsey, this is pathetic. You’re nearly fifty. Go find a man your own age who isn’t taken and has a family!”
“A-fucking-men,” Dad mutters as the stomping of little feet echoes.
“Daddy!” Aisling squeals with delight, and I turn and catch her as she throws herself at me, making me chuckle as I put her on my hip, my love for this girl blowing my mind.
“Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing awake, huh?” I ask, and she squishes my cheeks together while Dad and Lyndsey, who is clearly still in shock, watch on.
“Mama woke me,” she whispers, “she says we have to go back home.”
Mother fucker.
“Is that so, huh?” I ask as Dad mumbles, “Uh oh,” already seeing where this is going.
I’m about to tie my girl to the bed and ensure she doesn’t fucking leave, I mean, for fuck’s sake, at least give me more than a few weeks to come to terms with the fact she fucking left me and kept my kid from me!
Let me be fucking mad goddammit!
Aisling nods, her eyes wide in an innocent way, eyes just like mine, and I kiss her head and mutter, “You’re not going anywhere, baby girl,” and I put her down and say, “Run into the kitchen and grab a glass of milk, you need to get back to bed.”
“Okay Daddy,” she says and skips towards the kitchen making me smile and as soon as Aisling is out of earshot, I point at Lyndsey, “Get off my property before I shoot you for trespassing,” then I say to Dad “If you want a relationship with your granddaughter, keep Mama away. She’s not welcome.”
He nods and replies, “She won’t be on club property for long,” and I nod as I slam the door in Lyndsey’s face before heading upstairs.
“Dad, make sure your granddaughter doesn’t drink the whole carton. She likes milk. I need to go have words with her mama,” I call over my shoulder, and I climb the stairs two at a time.
His chuckles echo before I hear him call, “Where’s my favorite granddaughter? Grandpa wants a hug.”
I smile slightly despite the anger and pain I feel, and I head to the master bedroom knowing she’ll be looking for a way to get herself back to Huntingdon, where, unfortunately for her, she has no apartment and no job, Doc ensured it after claiming I’ll be back in my cut by the end of the fucking month.
Never going to happen.
I storm down the hallway ready for a fight, ready to ensure Jas stays right where she belongs – here with me.