Chapter 23
Jasmine
My tears fall as I lean my head back against the shower wall, the water spraying over my head, washing away the tears.
I know I shouldn’t be in here, I mean, I vaguely heard Logan mentioning the stitches are waterproof, but not to drench them, but all I could think – did he sleep with her before he came to rescue his daughter and me?
Did he go back to her?
Do I have a right to feel heartbroken over his decision to move on after I left him?
I bite down on my bottom lip as I squeeze my eyes tightly, trying my hardest not to let out a sob but more tears fall as my body shakes.
I’ve been in the shower for around twenty minutes, and my mind has been going around in circles. I woke up alone, yet again, my body hurting like a bitch, and Ais singing away in her room with her dollies, and I don’t know, I guess I felt defeated.
How can a guy like Logan, who was built to protect, get over the fact that I didn’t trust him enough to keep us safe, and I left without a word?
Because that is the truth of it, isn’t it?
I didn’t trust him to go against his mother because I grew up watching Brady kiss my mama’s ass just so he didn’t get the basement treatment as I did.
I don’t know how to let Logan go, though, even with the lack of trust on his part.
I’ve spent the past six years living day by day, struggling, always keeping Logan in mind. He became the reason why I breathe, but I hurt him, I-I…
I drop my forehead to my knees, trying to breathe through the gut-wrenching sobs that want to come out.
Eight hours, that is how long he’s been gone, or how long I’ve been awake anyway, and he hasn’t called, he hasn’t come home, or read his daughter a book before bed time, nothing.
We’re over, but I guess we’ve been over since I ran, and I just didn’t want to realize it.
The bathroom door opening vaguely enters my hearing before there's a rustle, and the shower door opens letting in a cold draft.
“Pretty sure I told you not to get your stitches soaked, buttercup,” Logan whispers as his warm touch wraps around my calves, instantly soothing me and my thoughts, and I look up at him, our eyes connecting.
“They’re technically covered,” I rasp, and he shakes his head as he moves one hand and cups my face, his thumb gently rubbing over my jaw.
“What’s on your mind, buttercup?” he asks gently, and I lie, “I’m just sore…”
“Liar,” he calls me out, “you saw, didn’t you, this morning before you were ambushed at the park, you saw Chanel.”
I swallow before whispering, “It’s none of my business, Lo…”
His eyes race between mine before he sighs as he stands and just when I think he’s about to turn around and leave, he bends and suddenly, he’s lifting me up, making me gasp, and out of instinct, I wrap my legs around his waist as he presses me up against the shower wall.
“Logan, your clothes…” I gasp, and he mutters, “Fuck my clothes, buttercup. When are you going to finally fight for me?”
His words shock me, and my eyes shoot to his.
“Logan,” I choke, “I’ve always fought for you, it’s why I left…”
“That wasn’t you fighting for me, Jas, that was you taking an out to finally be free from your mother,” he accuses, and my mouth parts in shock.
Surely he doesn’t think that is why I left? That I would keep his daughter from him just so I can live freely?
The truth shines back at me and I shake my head but before I can open my mouth and deny, he demands, “Fight for me Jasmine, like I have fought for you since the day we met…” he places his forehead against mine, “You saw Chanel throw herself at me and believed what you wanted to then ran from me yet again. I haven’t touched her, Jas.
I haven’t touched one woman. Not the cougar, not Nell at the hospital, fucking no one, I have always and only wanted you, even after you left me heartbroken.
You were the only one I wanted. You took in a situation and ran with it when you should have walked inside that garage and demanded an explanation. ”
“I didn’t deserve to have an explanation,” I choke, and he groans.
“Fuck’s sake Jas, it’s been six years, surely if I’d have moved on I wouldn’t have forced you to come home, I wouldn’t have locked you in the house,” he snaps forcefully, “Fucking fight for me like I fight for you, show me that you do love me, show me that you regret not confiding in me, that you regret not trusting me to keep you both safe. Buttercup, if you had told me that day, Sara would have been in the ground way before today.”
My eyes widen at his insinuation, and he confirms my thoughts as he says, “Bruce, Kate, and Sara are gone. I went for a ride with Trigger to clear my head after calling off my nightshift, that is why I went radio silent, and Vincent has been outside the entire time until I got home.”
Oh god…
“I’m so sorry, Logan,” I choke, pain for him for what he had to do spreading through me.
“Don’t be, buttercup, Thunder did the deed where Sara was concerned but she was no mother to me,” he sighs, “She dressed me up as a girl, baby, the reason why I shave my head is because she forced me to grow my hair, the burn marks on my back were her punishments if I tried to do boy things and then she tried to force me to be with Kate all because she wanted a daughter, so don’t be sorry. ”
What the…
I see the pain in his eyes and I swear… That…
“You sure she’s dead?” I ask seriously, anger for him radiating from me, and his lips tilt into a smirk.
It explains why so much. Why he never went to the club when they had family days or parties, why he didn’t push for me to meet the brothers and why he has a home off club property that I never saw one brother on.
“Yes, she is,” he confirms, then asks, “You going to fight for me?”
My eyes race between his. I retort, “How can you ever forgive me?”
He swallows and admits, “I love you so much that I know forgiveness and the trust will come back, it’ll just take time, but the question is, will you fight for me through my issues?”
How can he even ask me that?
“I’ve missed you,” I choke instantly, not even needing to think about it because dammit, I’ve been lost without him and he slams his mouth against mine and despite the throbbing pain on my side, I melt against him and instantly open my mouth before our tongues touch and fireworks shoot through me, the feeling of home consuming me and now I’m extremely happy Ais is asleep despite her nap earlier.
Logan bites my bottom lip and I groan as he moves one hand from my ass and brings it up and cups my breast, gently rubbing his thumb over the nipple.
A shot of lust hits me and I squeeze my legs around his waist causing a sharp shooting pain to jolt my side and I involuntarily gasp causing Logan to move back slightly and narrow his eyes at me.
“Are you in pain?” he demands lowly, and I instantly shake my head, my need for him overriding the pain, and he sighs and goes to put me down.
I squeeze my legs tighter around his waist, ignoring another jolt, and threaten, “You even think about leaving me needy, I promise I will make your life hell!”
He grins wide and admits, “I fucking missed your threats,” and I narrow my eyes at him before moaning and throwing my head back against the shower wall as he pinches my nipple.
“Hmm, my girl really is needy, huh?” he chuckles, and I glare at him again and remind him, “I went six years with only using my hand, so yes, I’m needy…”
His pupils dilate, and he pinches my nipple again, and yet again, I make another little moan.
“Fine, but if you show any signs of pain, then we’re fucking stopping,” he growls as he lets go of my nipple and undoes his soaked jeans before suddenly his cock is at my entrance. Ever so slowly, he pushes inside me, inch by delicious inch, giving me what I desperately need.
My mouth parts as I throw my head back, and his lips latch onto my neck like they always do.
He bites down as he slowly moves his hips back and forth, making love to me against the shower wall, and damn, despite the pain, it’s magnificent, and even though we haven’t hashed everything out yet, I finally feel at home.
“Logan,” I moan as he tilts his hips, hitting my g-spot as he thrusts hard but keeping a slow pace.
He moves his mouth from my neck to my nipple, instantly sucking and nibbling at it and I begin to thrust towards him.
Instantly he grabs my hips and without removing his mouth from my nipple, he growls, “You do that and I’ll pull out and come over your tits, you are not hurting yourself any more than you’re already are. ”
I groan in displeasure making him chuckle and he move his hips a little quicker, hitting the right spot deep inside and I gasp out a pleasurable moan as my stomach tightens and my walls flutter around him.
He moans against my breast, and his hips move quicker and I gasp for breath, pleasure filling me before he bites my nipple hard and my orgasm takes me really quickly.
My walls squeeze him and he groans, “Fuck, buttercup, you’ve just squirted,” but his voice sounds like its underwater as my vision goes black, my orgasm washing over me with so much pleasure I never want it to end.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moans as his hips become jerky before he unloads inside me, painting my walls with his seed and bottoms out, and little aftershocks rush through me.
Damn…
“Fuck,” Logan repeats, and I wrap my arms around his head as my chest heaves, and okay, my side hurts, like really bad, but I try not to let Logan know because then he may pull out of me, and right now, I’m home…
Logan moves slightly as he breathes against my skin, sending shivers down my back before I feel the wet fabric between us, and I roll my eyes…
“Why is it you’re always dressed when we end up like this?” I ask, breathing heavily, my side throbbing.
Even before I left, he’d sometimes still be dressed when we had spontaneous sex while I’d be completely naked.
Logan snorts as he bites my nipple, making my walls squeeze him, and he groans, “Because I’m too impatient to get inside you, but I think your pussy needs my tongue, so what do you say we dry off and get naked on top of the covers…”
“Don’t you mean under?” I breathe, the idea extremely convincing even on top of the covers and he replies, “Nah, I want to see what belongs to me while I worship your body, so what do you say we go get naked, buttercup?”
My clit pulses at the thought, but I sass, “I’m already naked, Lo,” and he chuckles as he lifts his head from my nipple and cups my cheek while keeping one hand under my ass.
“I’ve fucking missed you, Jas,” he whispers and my eyes tear up as I choke, “I love you, Logan,” and he nods before pressing his lips against mine and returning, “I love you too, buttercup,” then kisses me hard and I get lost in him, regretting not giving him the benefit of the doubt all those years ago and I swear, I’ll make sure he never regrets taking me back when I didn’t deserve to be brought back.
I’m going to spend forever with this man, I just have to make sure I can get him to forgive me.