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12. Jacobia

FOUR MONTHS EARLIER…

“Lark, if you think you’re pregnant, then take the test or go to the damn doctor. You act like you’re scared when you and that man are trying to get pregnant.”

This girl was getting on my nerves. We were sitting on the stools at my kitchen island, and she looked like she wanted to jump out of her skin. From what she told me, Chance had been blowing her back out because he wanted a baby. Now she was acting scared like she didn’t know unprotected, no birth control sex equaled pregnancy.

Lark cut her eyes at me. “Shut up. I’m going to take the test. You see me reading the instructions don’t you.”

All I could do was give her a blank stare. “Bitch, take the stick out the pack, open the top, pee on the stick, put the top back on, then sit it on the counter until the window reads pregnant or not pregnant.” I shook my head. “How old are we?”

“Girl, hush. Come on and take one with me. I don’t want to do it alone,” she said. Before I could say no, she grabbed my hand, pulled me off my stool, and dragged me down the hallway to my downstairs bathroom.

When she reached the pregnancy test out to me, I snatched it from her. “You’re lucky I love your ass. We need to go upstairs so we can take them at the same time.”

My master suite bathroom had two toilets in private rooms. It was like a his and her type of thing. We both went into the separate rooms to take our test. Unlike Lark, I didn’t need to read instructions. Minutes later, both of us were out of the rooms, with our test on a paper towel on the counter and washing our hands.

“Alright, I’ll read yours, and you read mine,” Lark suggested. That was cool with me. “What you think yours is going to say?”

I turned my nose up at her. “The hell you mean, what do I think mine is going to say? My shit is going to say not pregnant. Don’t play with me.” We stared at each other for a beat before we chortled.

The timer went off, and we both picked up each other’s test. My smile exploded on my face when I read hers. “Yes, I’m going to be an auntie-god mama!” I jumped up and down.

“Well, bitch, it looks like I’m going to be an auntie-god mama too,” she said with peaked brows.

Her words stopped my jumping. When she turned the test around so that I could see the result window, I snatched the test from her. “What the fuck? This must be a damn defective test. There is no way.”

Lark stepped closer to me. “Jacobia, there’s nothing wrong with those tests. We just brought them. When was the last time you had sex?”

“Lark, I haven’t had sex since…” My head dropped back. “Fuck! This can’t be life right now.” I had tears in my eyes when I lifted my head. “The last time I had sex was the morning after your wedding, with Joston. This test has got to be wrong.”

Lark’s eyes softened. “Best friend, did y’all use protection?”

I shook my head. “It was a spur of the moment fuck.” I put the test down. “Nah, that test has got to be wrong.”

“If it’s not wrong, what are you going to do?” she asked. “The likelihood of this test being wrong is slim to none. Let’s step out of denial city for a moment. You’re pregnant with Joston’s baby.”

This had to be a joke. The universe was a whole bitch for this. Fuck me.

* * *

BACK TO THE PRESENT…

After I got confirmation from my doctor that I was pregnant via a blood test, I had a lot of decisions to make. One of them that I did make almost immediately was not to tell Joston yet. I had to swear my best friend to secrecy. Her ass loved to pillow talk with her husband. If she told Chance, there was no doubt that he would tell Joston. I stopped going around Chance when I started showing. Lark fussed at me weekly about not telling Joston.

Here I was now, caught like hell. I knew that bitch Cindy Lou Who would tell him. I thought she would have told him sooner than this. I half ass expected Joston to call me that same night or the next day. When he didn’t, I thought maybe she wasn’t going to tell him. Clearly, I thought wrong.

“Oh, I trapped you now? I guess trapping you is one way to get your lil ass ready,” Joston asked with a smirk. He gazed at me for a second before he bent over laughing. “I didn’t trap you, love, or at least it wasn’t my intention to.”

I crossed my arms over myself while he continued to chuckle. “Well, when I tell the story, that’s what I’m going to say. My baby daddy trapped me.”

He laughed harder. “You do that. Shit, you a hell of a woman to trap.”

That comment made me feel all giddy inside. Now that he knew, it was time to have the real conversation. “How do you want to handle this as far as coparenting long distance?”

His laughter subsided. “Jacobia, there’s not going to be any distance. I’m moving back to Charleston to be close to my baby. Wait, do you know what we’re having?”

I smiled, thinking about our baby. “Yes. We’re having a baby girl.”

His face lit up before he put his hand on my stomach. “Damn, I’m gonna be a girl dad. Let me make sure I have my guns ready. If our baby girl looks like her mother, then it’s gonna be a problem. I’m gonna be slapping lil boys in the sandbox.”

My blushing cheeks had a mind of their own. “Just like that, you’re moving back to Charleston? What about the club and everything?”

“The club can successfully run without me physically being there. That’s why I have managers. I’ll do my pop-ins when I see fit. My poker tournaments aren’t always in Vegas. I’ll travel wherever they are and be back in the morning before my baby wakes up.” He glanced at me. “So, yeah, just like that.

“Jacobia, I don’t want you to think that because I’m not cussing your ass out that I don’t feel a way about you not telling me that you were pregnant. I didn’t deserve that. I also know staying in my feelings and mad won’t help anything. We need to move forward. Hopefully we can do that in a mature manner where we don’t hold detrimental information from each other.” His tone was even, words intentional, and stare deep.

My head fell for a moment. There were tears in my eyes when I lifted them. “I’m so sorry for not telling you. I promise that you would have known before she was born. Yes, we can move forward as mature parents. Thank you for being you.”

His willingness to uproot to be close to his daughter made my heart smile. That was one of my biggest concerns when I found out that I was pregnant. When you grow up in a close-knit family like mine, not having your father at hand’s reach was unfathomable. We sat there for a while longer talking about how my pregnancy had gone so far and what was to come. He made plans to be at my next appointment in two weeks. There was a weight lifted off my shoulders now that he knew. Thank you, Cindy Lou Who bitch.

* * *

A LITTLE TIME LATER…

Lark laughed at my expense. “You’re really in your feelings, best friend? Y’all are too funny.”

We were in her home office, eating. We were both thirty-four weeks pregnant. I thanked God that I was carrying small. We opted to have a joint baby shower in Christianson Circle. It was an amazing time. I ate so many blue crabs that Joston had to rub my belly.

“Lark, this shit is not funny. I need some dick, and his ass is acting stingy with it. He knows that I won’t fuck anyone else.” I pouted at the simple thought of it all.

Pregnancy had me hornier than a rabbit. Joston completed his move to Charleston two weeks after he found out that I was pregnant. It wasn’t as if he had much to move since his house here was fully furnished. He also had three vehicles at his house here.

I thought that since he was here, and we were spending more time together, that my baby daddy would give me some dick. I mean, wasn’t that the core of the baby mama, baby daddy relationship? This man had the perfect audacity to tell me that unless we were in a relationship, he wouldn’t be giving me any dick. At first, I was like cool, cool. He could just give me some head and stuff. His ass said that he wouldn’t give me any sexual pleasure outside of a relationship. I beg your finest pardon, baby daddy?

“Jacobia, I don’t know why you’re being so damn stubborn. At this point, it’s like you’re not being with him to prove some kind of stupid point that no one cares about. Furthermore, you know your ass wants to be with that man,” Lark pointed out correctly.

I did want to be with him. There was no real reason why I shouldn’t be with him. “I know, I know. It’s just not even eight months ago, I told him that I wasn’t ready for anything serious. It’s gonna look suspect if all of a sudden because I’m pregnant, I’m ready.”

“Girl, who gives a fuck. That man won’t care, trust me. I personally think God let you get pregnant so you could carry your stubborn behind where you’re supposed to be,” Lark said with a twisted lip.

We sat there quietly after her statement. She’d given me a lot to think about with that one. Before either of us could say anything else, her office door opened. In walked Chance and Joston. Chance beelined to Lark to deliver a kiss on her lips. I wanted Joston to do the same, but I knew it wouldn’t happen.

“What’s up, baby mama?” Joston greeted me before he squatted down in front of me, pulled my shirt up, and kissed my belly. He pushed lightly on my belly. “Hey, daddy’s baby. You being a good girl in there for mommy?”

I was convinced that he was our daughter’s favorite person. She started to kick around as he continued to talk to her. Some nights, he would come to my house, lie in my bed, and just talk to her. That was torture for me. I wanted him to talk to this pussy.

“What y’all in here talking about?” Chance asked from his seat next to his wife on the couch in her office. My best friend’s happiness looked great on her.

Lark side-eyed me. This bitch better not. “Oh, we were talking about how stubborn her ass is. She can’t seem to get out of her own way.”

I couldn’t stand her ass sometimes. She mastered a way to spark up a conversation without directly saying what it is. I noticed that in college.

“What you being stubborn about?” Joston asked from the seat next to me that he sat in. “There are so many things that could be the answer.”

I flicked my middle finger up at him, causing everyone to chuckle. Should I have this conversation in front of Lark and Chance? When I peeked at Lark, she gave me a reassuring smile. “Being stubborn about being ready for something but not knowing how to go about it now.”

I didn’t need to look at Joston to know that his brow hitched. “If you’re ready for something, then just do what the fuck you got to do. Time waits for no man.”

“Exactly what I told her. Stop being scared, and go for what you want, best friend. You almost missed out once. Don’t let it happen again,” Lark urged.

I knew they were both right. I rolled my eyes. “Um, can we move on to the next topic? I hear y’all.”

I was over the conversation. I knew what I had to do. For me, it was just the timing of doing it.

* * *

It’d been a little over a week since the conversation was broached about my stubbornness. The conversation had been sitting heavy on my chest. Since then, everything that Joston did was a turn on. A few days ago, he, Chance, my brothers, dad, and cousins were over to assemble all the things that needed to be assembled. I almost had an orgasm watching Joston put the crib together. My mom, female cousins, sisters-in-law, and Lark helped wash baby clothes, organize all the stuff I got from the baby shower, and other things like that. A nesting shower was what it was called.

At Lark’s and my baby shower, my uncle Trell and auntie Tae surprised Lark and me with a custom Tae Smith design for a nursery. Taelyn said that during bouts of her mother’s clarity, she worked hard to finish the designs while she was in her ‘Tae mind’ as we all called it. Lately, she’d had more episodes of Tae mind than she had before. No one was sure if that was a good or bad thing. Lark and I were a complete mess when it was presented to us. Tae’s design firm immediately went to work on the designs.

Today, we were at Chance and Lark’s house for their nesting shower. My task was stocking the kitchenette in the nursery. My nursery also had a kitchenette. “Lark, are these good?” I asked after I held up a beef stick.

“Yeah, I love them. They’re expensive as hell but good. Try one,” she offered.

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I was starving. I pulled out a juice from the refrigerator.

My mom snatched the bottle out of my hand. “Little girl, get a bottle of water out of there. Joston told me that you aren’t getting your daily water intake.” She gave me that do what the hell I said look.

“Joston is such a damn snitch,” I mumbled. He didn’t have to tell on me to my mom. I was getting like thirty fluid ounces a day. That was more than enough in my book.

Galiana laughed. “Girl, your brother does the same thing when he can’t get his way. He runs to Mama Chelle or my daddy like I’m not grown as hell.” We all laughed. “Mama Chelle, tell your son if he wants that daughter, he better close his mouth.” If you thought Galiana was crazy, then you hadn’t met her daddy Fabuloso. You couldn’t convince me that the devil didn’t come to him for creative ideas about destruction.

Mama Chelle tittered. “You can’t be mad when they call in reinforcements when y’all aren’t doing right by my grandbabies.” She used both of her hands to point at Galiana and me. “I hope they keep telling on y’all asses. Now drink that damn water.”

I opened the bottle of water begrudgingly and took a few sips. Water was nasty as hell. I felt like I drank enough to ensure my pH balance was good.

“I know you better drink more water than that.” Joston’s voice sounded from the doorway. He walked over to me, took the bottle out of my hand, unscrewed the top that I had placed back on, then handed the bottle back to me. “Drink some more, Justina.”

The giggles from my mama and them had me looking at them with a scowl. I tilted my head to the side. “Give me a kiss, and I’ll drink some water.”

“Oh shit now,” Lark mumbled. “This is about to get interesting. Go ahead and give her a kiss, Joston.”

We stared at each other intensely for a moment before he stepped into my personal space. He lowered himself so that we could be face to face. “Justina, like I told you before, the only person that will get any part of me going forward is my woman. As far as I know, I’m single.” His voice was low so only I could hear him. “Tell me, Justina, am I single?”

It felt like we were in a one-way glass box where we could be seen, but we couldn’t see the audience. This conversation was between us and only us, regardless of the other women in the room. This is it, Jacobia. You have the power right now to change the trajectory of the relationship between you and Joston. I took a deep breath. The time is now. “No, Jerimiah, you are not single.”

His cheeks rose to bring his smile to the forefront. This man was fine. His mustache connected to his full beard. It was soft and fluffy. His eyebrows were even perfectly arched for a man. “If I’m not single, then who is my woman? What’s her name?”

It was my cheeks’ turn to rise for the welcoming of my smile. With confidence, I answered. “Her name is Jacobia Justina Christianson.”

“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.” He slammed his lips onto mine. His arms wrapped around me, and his hands gripped my ass.

“Alright now! I done stood here while y’all had that grown ass conversation in front of me. I’m not gonna stand here while y’all play grab ass.” My mama came over and smacked Joston’s hands off my ass. Everyone erupted in laughter.

Joston raised his hands in surrender. “My bad, Mama. I’m just happy that your daughter finally stopped playing with me.” He smacked my ass. “Now drink that water, Justina. I gave you your kiss.”

With a huff, I responded, “My word is my word.” I took a sip of my water that was still in my hand. I should save this bottle as relationship memorabilia. This bottle helped me and Joston become one.