Burn It Down #3
Marchetti
[photo]
THIS WAS PREMEDITATED
Thompson
that’s a lot of shoes Marchetti
Marchetti
it was a three-tier rack Thompson. three tiers. she took out all three. structural collapse. total loss. third time she's done this
Mueller
was the rack itself structurally sound?
Marchetti
it was a TARGET rack Mueller. it was FINE
Mueller
i’m asking because a lot of flat-pack furniture has known load-bearing issues and if the cat only needed to apply minimal force then the fault is the rack not the cat
Marchetti
she did not gently nudge the rack Mueller. she launched herself off the kitchen counter at two in the morning and landed on it like a missile. this was a tactical strike
Davis
did she eat any of the shoe parts
Marchetti
she chewed one lace. one. and then left it next to the shoe like a receipt
Jensen
confirmed predator behavior
Kowalski
she left a receipt
Marchetti
SHE LEFT A RECEIPT
Berger
i’m going to need the timeline. when was last confirmed sighting before the incident. what was her position
Marchetti
she was asleep on the couch at midnight. i have a photo
Berger
and the next confirmed sighting was 3 AM in the wreckage?
Marchetti
correct. three hours unaccounted for. she could have been planning this since eleven
Berger
noted
Thompson
Berger you’re not going to rank the destruction methodology?
Berger
not enough data points yet. one incident isn’t a pattern
Thompson
...that’s never stopped you before
Hájek
i think Parker is expressing herself. cats destroy things when they are full of feelings. it is communication
Marchetti
she’s communicating that she hates my shoes
Hájek
or that she loves you very much and needed you to wake up and pay attention to her
Marchetti
Hájek that is devastating and i need you to stop
M?kinen
Jari caught a fly yesterday. out of the air. one paw
Thompson
like a goalie
M?kinen
yes. like a goalie
Murray
my wife is concerned that the kittens are receiving better medical care than our children
Kowalski
are they?
Murray
i’m not answering that
Marchetti
Fonty how’s Bug
Fontenot
good. she sleeps on the radiator
Marchetti
that’s it? that’s the whole update?
Fontenot
she sleeps on the radiator. she’s warm. she’s good
Marchetti
ok who has been to the Thai place on Ponce. because i went last night and i have THOUGHTS
Davis
which one. there’s like four
Marchetti
the one with the green sign. the pad see ew was incredible. the curry needed more heat but the noodle texture was perfect
Thompson
here we go
Mueller
the yellow curry is better than the green. this is not debatable
Marchetti
it is extremely debatable Mueller. the green curry has a better sauce ratio
Berger
the viscosity is wrong on the green
Marchetti
the viscosity
Berger
too thin. a curry needs body. i’ve said this
Thompson
you have a viscosity category
Berger
i have a viscosity category
Marchetti
since WHEN do you rate sauce by viscosity
Berger
since always. it’s in the spreadsheet
Hájek
i enjoyed the soup. the lemongrass was very fresh
Jensen
the spring rolls were fine
Thompson
“fine.” Jensen has never had a strong feeling about food in his life
Jensen
i have feelings. i keep them private
Lundy
the dumplings
Kowalski
Lundy that is not a review
Lundy
it doesn’t need to be
Ash
can we get back to the part where Marchetti’s cat committed a crime at 3 AM
Marchetti
thank you Ash. THANK YOU. she’s a menace. a beautiful, perfect menace who i love more than anything in this world
M?kinen
sure
Avi
Replace the shoe rack. Anchor it to the wall this time. She’ll do it again.
Marchetti
...yes cap
wait. how does cap know she’ll do it again
Ash
he has a cat Marchetti. he knows
Marchetti
fair. yes cap