Chapter 28 #2
Tyler’s expression shifted, something fierce flickering behind his gentle demeanor.
“You listen to me, asshole. You’re my captain and my best friend.
You could tell me you’re in love with a fire hydrant and the only thing that would change is I’d start bringing water to practice.
” He held my gaze. “This changes nothing, except that now I get to be happy for you out loud instead of suspecting it and keeping my mouth shut.”
My vision blurred as my stomach rolled.
I was suddenly terrified I might throw up all over Tyler and his pretty words.
I blinked hard and gulped back every emotion anyone’s ever felt. I tried to will the tears back, to frighten them away, but they came anyway, hot and fast and completely outside my control. I pressed my palms against my eyes and tried to breathe through the tightness in my throat.
“Shit,” I managed. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m—”
“Because you’ve been carrying this alone for way too long, man, and you just put it down.” Tyler’s hand was still on my knee, steady and grounding. “You’re allowed to feel like it’s a lot.”
I choked on a laugh, the sound wet and broken. “Ty, it feels like everything, like so damn much.”
“It is everything, and you trusted me with it. That means more than you know.”
We sat there for a minute, Tyler’s hand on my knee, while I tried to pull myself together. The film room hummed with the quiet of empty spaces, while the whiteboard arrows pointed toward plays that suddenly seemed so unimportant.
When I finally lowered my hands, Tyler was smiling.
“How long?” he asked.
“The feelings or the . . . Jacks?”
“Both.”
“Feelings since . . . God, I don’t know.
Maybe since the first time I walked into Barbacks.
” I rubbed my face. “Jacks? I think I knew that first night, but it’s taken a while to be alone with him.
I mean, I went to see him at the bar, but that’s not the same as .
. . it’s not like a date or anything. We’re doing that now.
Dating, I mean. You know they call it that, too? ”
“Do they?” Tyler snorted. “And you’re happy?”
“Terrified. But yeah. Really happy.”
“Good. You deserve it.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Now, have you told anyone else?”
“Just you. Jacks’s friends at the bar know. They figured it out because I have the poker face of a golden retriever.”
“That tracks.” Tyler chuckled. “Listen, I know this might suck, but I think you should talk to Erik.”
“Erik?”
“He already knows. Or suspects, at minimum.”
My stomach dropped. “How?”
“Sky, you pulled him aside after his engagement speech and asked him, ‘How did you know?’ with the intensity of a man having an existential crisis, then you went outside and stood alone in the freezing cold. You spent the rest of that road trip staring at your phone with a dopey grin. Erik’s stoic and frustrating and dumb as shit half the time, but he’s not stupid. ”
“Has he said anything?”
“Of course not. He’s Erik. He’d rather chew glass than have a conversation about feelings that someone else doesn’t initiate.
Even then, there would be glass chewing.
” Tyler’s expression turned serious. “But he knows something’s going on, and if you don’t tell him, it’ll become a whole thing.
He’ll start worrying, and a worried Erik is a hovering Erik, and a hovering Erik on a road trip is a very large Scandinavian man staring at you in silence from across a hotel room, which I can confirm from experience is deeply unsettling. ”
I laughed despite myself. “Fair point.”
“On top of all that, if it gets out and you weren’t the one to tell him, he’ll get his feelings hurt. Think about how Erik would be with hurt feelings. On behalf of all of Tampa, please talk to him. Today. He’ll be great about it. The man gave a speech about love that made half the team cry.”
“It didn’t make half the team cry.”
“Kowalski teared up. I saw it. He’ll deny it to his grave, but I saw it.”
I sucked in a breath, then let it out slowly.
“Okay. I’ll talk to Erik.”
“Good.” Tyler stood and extended his hand. I took it, and he pulled me to my feet and into a hug, the firm, unwavering kind that said everything without needing words.
When he pulled back, his eyes were suspiciously bright.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone I got emotional,” he said.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I have a reputation.”
“As what?”
“A stoic, emotionally unavailable hockey robot.”
“Nobody thinks that about you, Ty.”
“Murph does.”
“Murph thinks butterflies are government surveillance drones. His opinions don’t count.”
Tyler laughed, clapped me on the shoulder, and headed for the door. He paused with his hand on the frame.
“Hey, Cap?”
“Yeah?”
“Bring him to a game. I want to meet the guy who turned my captain into a human sunbeam.”
Then he was gone, and I was alone in the film room with Coach’s diagrams and a heart that felt three sizes bigger than it had an hour ago.
I couldn’t pull my phone out of my pocket fast enough.
Me: I told Tyler.
Jacks: And?
Me: He said he’s been waiting for this conversation for weeks.
Jacks: Called it. What else?
Me: He said I could be in love with a fire hydrant and nothing would change.
Jacks: I’m offended by the fire hydrant comparison but moved by the sentiment.
Me: He wants to meet you.
Jacks: I want to meet him, too. He sounds like good people.
Me: The best.
Me: I’m going to tell Erik next.
Jacks: Yeah?
Me: Tyler says he already knows. Or suspects. And that if I don’t tell him it’ll become “a whole thing” involving a large Scandinavian man staring at me in silence.
Jacks: That sounds terrifying.
Me: You have no idea.
Jacks: You okay?
Me: Better than okay. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in months.
Jacks:
Me: Did you send me a heart emoji?
Jacks: I am deeply layered, like tres leches without all the milk. Now, go talk to your Viking.
I pocketed the phone, took one more breath, and went to find Erik.