Chapter 36 #2
“We shouldn’t do this without them, babe.” Jacks’s voice was calm and sure. I knew he was right, but fuck, I wanted him so badly. “I get tested every six months, and I haven’t been with anyone since we met, but still—”
“I haven’t had sex in over a year, Jacks.”
“What about Brooke?”
My heart seized. I didn’t want to tell him, but I couldn’t see any other way.
“We tried, but . . .” I blew a sigh into the pillow. “I couldn’t get it up with her.”
Jacks laughed out loud. “Seriously? You? Mister I-get-hard-if-there’s-a-stiff-breeze couldn’t get it up?”
I groaned. “That’s why she . . . I mean she . . . fuck, Jacks, she knew I wasn’t attracted to her or women or whatever. My dick told her everything. Fucking traitor.”
Jacks laughed again, still straddling me where I could barely see him in my peripheral vision.
“The team makes me do a physical twice a year. They test us for everything . . . and then test us some more. I know HIV is one of the tests, along with all the others the doc calls his ‘skanky ho treatment.’ If I had anything, I’d know it.”
Another pause.
“I . . . I don’t know,” Jacks said.
I turned onto my side so I could look into his eyes and reached up to rub his arm. “Babe, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. We can wait and get condoms. I just . . .”
“Just what?”
“I don’t want to wait, and I don’t want a condom between you and me. I don’t want anything between us, not now, not ever. Maybe I’m an idiot for that, but I’m your idiot.”
Jacks blinked down at me, his eyes a swirl of thoughts and emotions I struggled to read.
“I want this, too, Sky. I really do.”
I squeezed his arm. “Then take me, make me yours for real.”
He stared a moment, then something resolved in his eyes and he nodded once. “Roll onto your back then. It’ll be easier your first time that way.”
I flipped so fast my foot kicked him in the shoulder.
He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me.
“Bruise me and I’ll make you pay.”
Settled on my back, Jacks gripped my legs and set them atop his shoulders. It was awkward at first, looking up at a muscled, naked man whose curls fell across his forehead, but this was Jacks—my Jacks—and I would give him anything he asked.
I watched him squirt lube onto his palm, then rub his hands together. Once his fingers were slicked again, he reached down and slipped one inside me. I clenched hard again.
His smile made me relax.
Then a second finger went in.
I had to fight the clench.
He stroked inside me like that a few times before reaching down and gripping my cock with his other hand, slicking my shaft and swirling his palm against my tip. A jolt of pleasure rocked through me as his fingers hit that spot again, while his palm teased my sensitive head.
“Jesus,” I breathed.
His fingers slipped out.
My eyes were shut, but I heard him squirt a little more lube and felt him stroking himself, getting his cock hard again.
The moment his head touched my hole, I felt my world tilt.
This was it.
This was the moment.
There would be no going back after this. Not now. Not ever.
His head slipped inside me. I felt the rim catch then pop free.
“Oh, wow. That feels . . . that’s not what I thought it would feel like,” I said.
He didn’t move. Only his head cocked.
“Sorry, keep going. It’s all so new, ya know?”
Jacks leaned down and kissed me, and all my fears and worries and angst evaporated.
“I love you, Sky,” he whispered into my lips.
My face split into the biggest grin ever. “I love you, Jacks, so fucking much.”
That’s when he shoved himself into me, and every ounce of pain I’d ever felt from a slam against the boards or a puck to the face rocked my world.
“Oh, fucking mother of . . . fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Jacks froze.
“Too much?”
“Just . . . don’t move. God, whatever you do, stay right there.”
He smiled.
I didn’t.
“Easy. I promise it gets easier.”
Easy?
How the fuck was this supposed to be easy? Who shoved a truck up their ass and smiled while they did it? Fucking holy hell.
I breathed.
I could do this.
I could let myself go and ease up and—
He slid in deeper.
And somehow, without me trying, my body accepted him. My asshole unclenched, and my abs released, and my whole world spun around the idea that Jackson Armstrong was inside me.
He couldn’t go any deeper, yet he stayed there, looking down, filling me in a way I’d never known.
“Deep breath,” he said.
For what? I thought, right before he pulled back and the pain spiked again.
“OH!”
Then he slid in again, and there was no more pain.
Out and in. So slowly. So tenderly.
Pleasure became the white noise of my life. It was all I knew, all I could feel. Jacks’s firm grip, his body pressing against my own—into my own—everything I thought I’d known about joy and desire faded to gray in his presence.
He reached down, gripping my shoulders, bracing himself, then picked up his pace.
By the time I breathed again, the bed was squeaking, and Jacks was thrusting into me with the regularity of a metronome. He’d stopped being gentle, too. Grunting as he put his weight and strength into every movement.
I’d opened completely for him, and his cock rewarded me by hitting that special spot over and over and over.
“Oh, God, Jacks. Holy shit! That feels . . . I can’t . . . oh, God!”
He shoved harder and faster.
Sweat soaked my body, pooling on my chest, dripping from his brow and hair.
Still, he didn’t slow.
His breathing grew labored.
His groans louder.
His thrusts deeper.
When his hand gripped my cock with sudden desperation, I knew he was close.
He stroked me, fast and hard, not caring for gentle touches or easy caresses. He meant to milk me while my ass did the same to him—and I wanted it. I wanted it all.
“Fuck me, Jacks. Fucking fill me up, baby. I want you living inside me,” I shouted.
He groaned and scooted forward, shoving my legs higher and wider so he had a better angle. And damn if he didn’t hit that spot easier.
“OH, FUCK, JACKS! I’m gonna come. I can’t stop. Shit! Babe!”
I shot all over his hand and chest, a rope of white that flew farther than I’d ever seen myself come. He kept stroking, his grip choking the life out of my dick, as wave after wave flew out of me.
“Sky, I can’t hold it much longer. I’m so close.”
“Give it to me, Jacks. Come inside me.”
He slowed, a bit, and locked eyes with me. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “God, yes. Fill me up, Jacks.”
His jaw set.
His fingers gripped tighter.
I felt his cock pulse inside me, throbbing as his balls readied for release.
When his abs clenched, his eyes squeezed tight, and he cried out, “Sky! I’m coming!”
He thrust again and again. I could feel warmth spreading inside me, filling me. Still, he didn’t stop, only slowed, until the last of him was spent and he fell atop me, a mass of sweaty, blazing, cum-slicked skin.