Chapter 20
I'm exhausted by the time the ball comes to an end, but that doesn't stop the excitement from growing within me as I make my way down to the kitchen and knowing that Nate is there waiting for me.
It's two in the morning, and no one else is here, but the light from the smaller kitchen is still on, making my heart skip a beat. I pause in the doorway to watch Nate as he looks over everything, moving around with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what he's doing in this space.
Nate looks up and smiles at me, making the whole world slip away. I never expected to feel like this about anyone, even Nate, and yet there's no doubt that he has me captivated in the best way.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi," I respond as I make my way into the kitchen. He's changed out of what he was wearing at the ball, but looks no less handsome for it. "Thank you for coming to dance with me," I say as I slip my arms around him.
"I'm glad you liked it." He kisses the top of my head. "I was a little worried when Veronica suggested it."
"There's only one thing that would have made it better."
"Oh?"
I look up at him. "I wish you could have kissed me."
"We can change that now," he murmurs.
"I did hope you would say that."
He leans in and brushes his lips against mine.
I don't stop at a fleeting kiss, and respond by deepening it, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer. His hand rests on my lower back, reassuring and firm. After a lifetime of not wanting people to really touch me, I find that I want him to do more of it.
The kiss ends, but I don't move out of his arms. I don't want to.
"Better?" he asks.
"Yes." I look up at him.
"Are you going to let go of me so that I can give you your birthday present?" he asks.
"What if I say no?"
He laughs. "Then you can't have it."
"You know you didn't have to get me anything, right?"
"You're the one who says that you give gifts to those you love," he says. "And you'd never let my birthday pass without sending me a present. I know that, I have five and a half years' worth of them that arrived even when we were apart."
"I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you."
"I know." He brushes a strand of hair out of my face. "And I want you to know that I'm thinking about you now." He pulls back, and I let him go, partly because I'm curious about what he's gotten for me.
He heads past a collection of ingredients and hands me a wrapped package.
Curiously, I pull off the ribbon and unwrap it, revealing a beautifully embroidered apron with tiny cakes and spoons stitched along the hem. I know that this kind of thing has to have cost him a lot, the work is exquisite. "Nate..."
"Don't say it's too much," he counters. "I traded for the embroidery. I make one of the maids' bread for her family every week, and she did this for me."
"It's beautiful. I've never had one of my own."
"I know, you've just been using one of the aprons from down here. But now you don't have to." He takes it from me and shakes it out so that he can put it over my head. "Turn around?"
I do as he suggests, and he ties it behind me.
"Now you get to try it," he says.
"What are we making?"
"Well, as I'm courting a princess known for her impatience, and I doubt she's any less impatient at twenty-five than she was at twenty-four..."
"I'm not that bad," I protest. "And I'm working on it."
"I know you are," he assures me. "But I also knew that it was going to be late, so I made all of the individual parts of a slagroomtaart and thought we'd assemble them together. That way, you can eat it as soon as we're done."
"I wouldn't have minded the wait," I respond. "It would mean more time with you."
The way he smiles at me makes the whole world seem like a better place. "I know. And I want to as well. But I'm sure you'll have other things to do tomorrow, and I don't want to keep you up too late."
Not for the first time, I find myself wondering what it would be like if I didn't have to say goodnight to him at all. If we could have all the time in the world for one another.
"All right, so birthday cake assembly." He gestures to the table in front of him, where everything is laid out, including cakes, whipped cream, what look like sugared almonds, and apricot purée.
I laugh. "Most people would be upset about having to do the work on their own birthday cake."
"You're not most people."
"I'm not." I pull a ribbon out of my pocket and use it to tie up my hair before washing my hands.
"Something I'm very grateful for." He leans in and kisses my cheek. "How was the rest of the masquerade?"
I grimace. "I don't know why Mama thinks that any of the people she invited are good suitors for me, especially when she's never once asked what I want in someone."
He puts one of the cakes on a plate and pushes the bowl of whipped cream towards me. "A layer of it."
I nod.
"What do you want in someone?" he asks.
I use a spatula to put a large dollop of cream on top of the cake and start smoothing it out. "I've never really thought about it. Probably because my emotions were already engaged with someone." I pause, then realise that what I've said might be ambiguous. "You, I mean."
Nate chuckles. "I got that."
"It just seems an entirely inadequate way of getting to know anyone. But I suppose it doesn't matter. In a few days, the Gaullessian delegation will be leaving, which means I can start coming down to the kitchen at a normal time again. If you want me here, anyway."
"Any day when you come here is better for it," he promises. "We need to layer on apricots now."
"We've been using a lot of them recently," I say as I pick one of the slices of preserved apricot off the plate and carefully lay it on top of the cream, following it with another.
"There was a good crop of them this year, so we have a lot of them preserved. Do you not like them?"
"I do. They've got a good amount of tartness to cut through the sweet." I finish the outer ring of apricots and move to the centre. "And they look impressive. Several of our guests have commented on them. Though not Lady Elizabeth."
He chuckles. "You're not going to forgive her for the comment, are you?"
"I don't know about forgiving her, it doesn't seem like it's my place to do that. But I do find it strange that Mama considered that she would be a good match for me when she doesn't like cake."
"Perhaps the Queen had no idea about Lady Elizabeth's preferences."
"Maybe." I let out a sigh even as I place the final apricot. "It doesn't help that it's been a few weeks of intense events. I might have more patience for situations like that if I hadn't been banned from the kitchen."
"You weren't banned from the kitchen," he reminds me. "You just weren't allowed to come down here as early as usual."
"That's more or less the same thing. And it happened right after I wanted to spend even more time with you."
He reaches out and puts his hand over mine, giving it a squeeze. "The delegation is leaving, and your birthday ball is over, you'll have plenty of chances to come down here now."
"I hope."
"Want to put the next cake on?" he asks, and I have to wonder if he's distracting me with it.
I nod and pick it up, carefully lining it up with the one I've covered in cream.
"It's probably not going to be a long respite.
I don't know if Mama is going to reinstate the rules when the new Shengdanese ambassador arrives, which I think is supposed to be in the next fortnight" I let out a frustrated sigh.
"I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be able to deal with the stricter rules. "
"You're going to be fine," he assures me. "You've been dealing with royal duties for twenty-five years. You'll find a balance."
"I haven't been dealing with them for twenty-five years," I respond. "I can't have had royal duties when I was a baby."
He laughs. "You know what I mean." He pushes a jar of apricot purée towards me. "This is for on top of this cake.
"It might be different if I tell Mama about us," I say as I spread the purée over the cake.
"Do you want to?" He lifts the final layer of cake and lines it up a lot faster than I did. Probably because he's had a lot more practice than I have at this kind of thing.
"Yes." I bite my bottom lip. "But I know that it's going to have consequences." I pick up the spatula and start covering the top and sides of the cake with whipped cream, having seen enough slagroomtaarts served to know what they look like.
"I'm ready for them if you are," he promises.
"Are you sure about that?" I stop smoothing out cream and look at him. "What if it's bad?"
"Then we'll deal with it," he promises. "We have no idea what's going to happen if you tell the Queen.
It might go a lot better than you think it will.
I'm sure it's going to mean changes, but it's not like we've not dealt with those before.
And it's not like I believe you'll forget me if I move out of the castle.
I was gone for five and a half years, and when I came back, you told me you loved me. "
"That is true." I pick my spatula back up and start smoothing over the sides of the cake until I'm happy with it.
Nate uses a piping bag to create some swirls on the top and starts adding fruit to it.
"We're going to be fine, Evie. The Queen isn't going to banish me for loving you.
I don't even know if she has the power to do that.
Maybe the King does, but I can just send him his favourite pastry tomorrow morning and sweeten him up. "
I laugh. "Is your plan to bake your way into the good graces of my family?"
He grins. "It's worked so far. All right, just the almonds now, and then we can eat it," he says
"What do we do with them?"
"Stick them on the side." He picks up a handful and presses them into the cream on the side of the cake. "The almonds are good, by the way, you should try one."
I eat a tiny piece, enjoying the sweet and nutty flavour. "Oh, that is good. How did you make them?"
"I flaked them, then added sugar and egg whites before toasting them in the oven."
"So simple," I muse.
"All right, there we go, one birthday cake." He turns it around so that we can look at it.
"Now what?" I ask.
"We eat it." He pulls out a knife and slices it.
"What? There's no set time?"
He shakes his head. "I told you, I made it all earlier so that you didn't have to wait." He slides the knife through the cake with ease and puts the first slide on a plate before sliding it over to me and cutting one for himself.
I grab two forks from the drawer and hold one out to him.
"Happy birthday, Evie," he says.
"It is now," I respond as I dig into the cake.
I've had it before, but everything about this one tastes so much better.
The tartness of the apricots cuts through the sweetness of the cake.
But there are also the sweet and crunchy almonds contrasting with the smoothness of the cream.
"This really is a good cake. I'm glad you learned how to make in Wafeland, even if I still hate that you were there for so long. "
"The important thing is that I'm back now," he responds.
"It is." I put down my fork and reach out to him, putting my hands on his chest and looking up into the warm brown eyes I find so reassuring. "I'm glad you're not going anywhere."
"Not without you," he promises before leaning down and capturing me in a kiss that's even sweeter than the lingering taste of cake.
Because I know he means every word, and that this time, neither of us intends to be parted again.