Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
“I won’t be long,” Angelica told Lyric as she stopped in front of Hope’s house.
“You’re not staying the night?” Lyric furrowed her brow as she looked over at Angelica.
“No. Not tonight.” Angelica drew in a deep breath.
After the almost-argument earlier, she knew that Hope wouldn’t want her spending the night.
Or perhaps it was that she wouldn’t want to.
Hope hadn’t been wrong, they did need to talk some things over.
Angelica just hadn’t wanted to do it. “Give me three hours and I’ll be done. ”
“Sure. I think Cadence wanted to work on the first short that she wants to film for promo when we get to New York anyway.”
Angelica paused, looking Lyric over. “You’re not…”
“No.” Lyric laughed lightly. “Trust me when I say I’m not Cadence’s type at all. I doubt she’d ever look in my direction.”
“All right.” Angelica nodded at her. “I’ll text you if you need to come before three hours.”
“Sure thing, boss.” Lyric gave her a gentle smile. “Be safe, Ms. Shields.”
Angelica paused at that one, not entirely sure why Lyric would be sending her on her way with that sentiment, but she didn’t comment on it.
As she reached for the doorbell, Angelica held her breath.
She still wasn’t even sure how to start this conversation, but she knew she couldn’t hold off any longer. Hope deserved some sort of answer.
Hope opened the door, that same scowl on her lips that had been there when she’d left the conference room. Angelica held her breath and stayed right where she was.
“I’m sorry about earlier.”
Again, Hope remained silent.
“I was taken off guard as much as you were by Logan’s turn in conversation.”
“Doubtful.” Hope pushed open the door to let Angelica in and then waved to Lyric as she pulled away. “Did you set a time you’re leaving?”
“Three hours.” Angelica dashed her tongue across her lips and held still. “I have a lot of work to catch up on.”
“Don’t we all.” Hope crossed her arms as she started toward the kitchen. “For your information, Eva is here tonight. Rex only agreed to take her for one extra night for us…” Hope flicked her gaze down and up Angelica’s body “…to have time together when you returned.”
“I’ll have to thank him later.” Though she wouldn’t. That’d be awkward and not her place. Angelica leaned against the kitchen counter, hands folded in front of her. “About what Logan said…” she stopped, still not entirely sure how to begin this conversation.
“You want to keep our relationship a secret,” Hope finished for her.
“Yes.” Angelica straightened her back and squared her shoulders.
The waves of animosity coming off Hope were near to drowning her, but she had expected at least some of that.
Hope had been pushing for a more formal relationship in the last few months, especially before she went to Italy, but Angelica had resisted the urge.
Hope shook her head as she reached into the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of beer, and a platter of food out of the oven. She set them on the counter before dragging open a drawer and pulling out two forks.
“What’s this?” Angelica asked, furrowing her brow.
“Dinner.” Hope waved her hand over it. “Because I’m going to make a wild assumption that you haven’t eaten today.”
Angelica paused, meeting Hope’s gaze across the kitchen counter. As annoyed as Hope was at her, she was still feeding her, taking care of her. Surely that meant something, right? Angelica reached for the fork and slid it from Hope’s fingers.
“What is it?”
“Stuffed salmon fillets, which you’ll be fine eating.
And stuffed acorn squash. There’s cherry tomatoes in this one, but this one, I made for you, since you told me you were coming over tonight.
” Hope pushed the platter in front of Angelica.
“There’s also smoked salmon tarts, but I only managed to save one of those from the crew, so if you don’t want it, it’s mine. ”
Angelica couldn’t stop the twitch in her lips. “Your crew didn’t finish it off?”
“It might surprise you, but filming two to three episodes a day for fifteen days straight is a bit much when it comes to eating the food. While they appreciate it all in the beginning, by the end of filming, we’re all just ready to be done.”
“Ah.” Angelica reached for the smoked salmon tart and plucked it up. “Do you want to split it?”
“No, it’s all yours.” Hope took her fork and jabbed it into one of the salmon fillets.
Angelica slowly ate the tart before she settled down. Hope didn’t seem too angry with her. Frustrated, yes, but Angelica couldn’t blame her.
“I know what you’re here to say,” Hope finally said as she dug her fork into the squash. “You don’t want to go public.”
“I don’t,” Angelica murmured, keeping her voice quiet. “Not yet.”
“It’s always a not yet. I’d really like to tell my daughter why you keep coming over here all the time. As cute as it is that she thinks it’s because of her, she’s not clueless, and she’s asking questions.”
Angelica stilled. Of course Eva wasn’t stupid. She was an extremely observant kid, and of course she’d be asking questions about the two of them. Angelica should have anticipated some of that, but with their nearly four-month break recently, she’d been able to push that to the side and ignore it.
“When you said because of history, what did you mean?” Hope took another bite of the squash, wrapping her lips around the fork as she pulled the food off to chew and swallow.
Angelica trembled. She toyed with the fork in her hand and ignored the fact that food was placed out in front of her and she really should be eating like Hope wanted her to. “Because of my history.”
“With Leanne?” Hope furrowed her brow.
“Yes.” Angelica jabbed her fork into one of the pieces of salmon fillet, even though she really didn’t want to eat. It was something to keep herself from looking in Hope’s direction. “I know you’re not Leanne, but I can’t help but acknowledge that there’s a trend with my behavior.”
Hope dropped her fork loudly onto the counter. Angelica looked up to meet her eyes and froze.
“You and Leanne were together for how long?” Hope asked.
“Eighteen months.” Angelica set her fork down and lifted the beer to take a sip from it.
“And you and I have been together how long?” Hope pressed her palm to the top of the counter.
Angelica flicked her gaze down, her cheeks heating up. “I… how do you quantify it?”
“I’ve been in love with you for almost four years now.” Hope came around the edge of the counter, standing directly in front of Angelica. “We’ve been together, consistently, for nearly a year.”
“That’s not a long time.” Angelica swallowed hard, tightening her grasp in Hope’s hands as they entwined their fingers together.
“You’re right. In the scheme of things, it’s not a very long time.”
“It’s not just length of relationship though.” Angelica lifted her hand and cupped Hope’s cheek. “I have a history of being with subordinates, and that’s something that will come back to haunt me.”
“You weren’t looking for a relationship with me,” Hope whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to Angelica’s lips. “And I wasn’t looking for something to happen with you.” Another kiss. “But it did. And now we can decide if we’re going to be together or not be together.”
“We are. That’s not… that’s not what I’m questioning.” Angelica pulled away slightly. “I want to be with you, Hope.”
“Then I don’t understand.” Hope stepped away, moving back to where she had been on the opposite side of the kitchen counter, a good amount of space between them. As much as Angelica liked it, she equally hated it. She already missed that closeness.
Angelica paused, gathering herself. “I have my reservations about what a relationship with you means. It’s not that I don’t want to be in a relationship with you, but I’m a middle-aged woman, and you’re a single mom of a brilliant kid.
You can’t tell me that doesn’t come with complications.
I don’t exactly want to uproot my life for you. ”
“I’m not asking you to.” Hope frowned. “And you’re not asking me to. All I’m asking is that I can tell my daughter and my friends that you’re my girlfriend.”
Angelica’s stomach twisted sharply. “And I’m not ready for that.”
“Well, why the hell not?” Hope’s voice rang through the suddenly quiet kitchen.
There was the temper that Angelica knew existed. And in all fairness, she understood why Hope was leaning into it now. But she didn’t want to start this conversation a week before they were supposed to leave to film. She didn’t want to be at odds before then.
“I’ve always put my career first, Hope. You have to understand that.” Angelica reached for Hope’s hand. “And I’m not unwilling to put you first, but I need to know what’s going to happen to my career—and yours—when that shift happens.”
“Can you speak plainly? For once.” Hope gave her a hard stare.
“It’s Josef, in part.”
“He’s been silent.”
“I know, but with the show starting up again, I’m sure he’s going to do something.
” Angelica tensed. “I don’t think he’d throw out that threat lightly, Hope.
He’s been waiting for the right moment, and that’ll be now, right when we start to blow up press, and right when we start filming.
He’s not stupid. He knows our filming schedule. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
“Oh, Angel.” Hope sighed. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Angelica’s shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug. “You can’t stop your life because of Josef.”
“But I can, and I have.” Angelica buried her face in Hope’s shoulders. “With Leanne.”
She felt Hope’s grip on her relax slightly. “Is that what you meant by history?”
“That, and because she was my employee. If you think that won’t come out when our relationship comes out, then you have another thing coming. People are going to dig into our pasts—”
“They already are,” Hope murmured, dropping a kiss into Angelica’s hair. “Welcome to fame.”
Angelica closed her eyes, gripping her arms around Hope’s back tightly. “I’m just not ready.”
“Then we wait. But Angel, I need an answer on this soon. I’m not going to keep this secret forever.”
Biting her lip, Angelica nodded. She understood that. But it wasn’t everything they needed to talk about either. This was just the low hanging fruit. “So when we’re on set, we won’t act like a couple.”
“As Cadence would say, you’ll need to cut the flirting to a minimum.” Hope kissed her head again.
Angelica smiled at that. She pulled back, her lips still curled upward. “Same to you.”
Hope drew in a breath, but she didn’t smile. Instead, she turned back toward the food on the counter and snagged Angelica’s fork, handing it over. “I suppose that means separate rooms for the entire trip.”
“It wouldn’t be any different than when we’re home,” Angelica added, taking the fork from her.
Hope frowned then, but she said nothing as she took her own fork and slid another bite between her lips. Angelica hesitated, but she started to eat as well, at least the salmon fillet. The other dish didn’t exactly look appetizing. Well, none of it did right now.
“You’re making the assumption I like the arrangement we currently have.
” Hope popped another bite between her lips.
“Because I don’t. I’d prefer you to spend the night here.
I’d prefer to be able to be open about the fact that we’re in love with each other.
I’d like to stop keeping secrets and move forward with a relationship. ”
“We are moving forward.” Angelica tensed again, her eyes locked on Hope’s. “We are in a relationship.”
Hope pursed her lips. “That’s not exactly what I meant, and I’m pretty sure you know that.”
Angelica nodded. “I understand.”
“You have twelve weeks, Angel, and then I want to come out to the world. Okay?”
Holding her breath, Angelica waited for the rest of the ultimatum. But it never came. “What if I’m not ready by then?” Angelica whispered.
“I want you to work toward being ready by then. And if you’re not, then we’ll take it from there, but if you work toward it, then at least I’ll know there’s an end to whatever stalemate we’re in. All right?”
“Yeah.” Angelica tilted her head down, not sure she wanted to look into Hope’s eyes.
But Hope reached for her cheek, cupping it and then raising her chin upward so their lips could touch.
Angelica hummed into the kiss, this time sweet and full of anticipation and hope for what might come.
Her eyes fluttered shut, and she threaded her fingers into Hope’s hair, tugging on the short strands that she loved so much.
“Okay?” Hope asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good. And we need to talk more, Angel. I think we allow ourselves to get too distracted by other…things.”
Angelica smirked at that. She knew exactly what Hope was talking about, and yes, she was right.
They did need to spend more time in conversation about what they wanted for their future and more.
They were decent at navigating problems as they came up, but they needed to be better at heading them off before they became problems.
“Now, Angel, I love you, but you need to eat.”
Angelica chuckled lightly and grabbed her fork with gusto, stabbing a part of the salmon fillet. “Fine.”
“And look at that. I have you for two more hours all to myself. Whatever shall we do?” Hope curled her arms around Angelica’s waist, stepping up behind her and kissing her neck gingerly. “I can think of many things.”
“I’m sure you can.” Angelica would probably like all of them. Hope wasn’t someone to hold back when it came to sex. But with Eva in the house and the conversation still weighing on her heart, the last thing Angelica wanted to do was to hide out in Hope’s office for a quickie.
Hope kissed her neck again, and Angelica turned her head to capture Hope’s lips. She would do exactly what Hope had asked her to. She’d work toward announcing their relationship by the end of the filming season. If only so that they could finally start to plan for a future.