Chapter 32
Chapter
Thirty-Two
The humid air was a relief. Angelica clenched her eyes shut, letting the sunshine hit her cheeks and her face as she just breathed.
But it wasn’t easy. In fact, it got harder and harder with each breath she took.
The tightness in her chest only constricted even more.
The pain in the front of her head pierced sharper.
Reaching forward, she gripped onto a bench and clenched her fingers around it to hold herself upright. But she barely managed it. Her knees were giving out, and the tears wouldn’t stop streaming down her face.
And she couldn’t even tell anyone what had triggered it.
Angelica was always someone who held her emotions in check. People always described her as being cold as ice, frozen heart, no emotion whatsoever. It wasn’t true. She had them. But she hid them—so well, in fact, that sometimes she even forgot she had them.
But not lately.
And certainly not right now.
She breathed again, but it wasn’t any easier. This time it hurt. The air wouldn’t pull into her lungs like it was supposed to, and it just fucking hurt. Her entire body ached. Her head roared with pain. Her heart was shattered.
“Angel?”
Hope’s voice reached her ears, breaking through that roar, and she couldn’t even make herself turn around. She couldn’t force her body to comply and stand up. She couldn’t—
“Angel…” Hope’s arms were around her body in an instant, cradling her. Fingers dug into her hair, tightening against her scalp and holding her firmly.
Angelica let go.
She buried her face in Hope’s shoulder, breathing in the fresh clean scent that was nothing except her and newly laundered clothes.
She clenched her eyes shut, digging her fingers into the loose material at Hope’s sides and tightening her grasp so much that it hurt.
But like hell would she let go. Hope’s fingers slipped up and down her back.
And she said nothing.
She did nothing.
But at the same time, Hope did everything.
Because she was there, and she was holding Angelica so closely that Angelica knew Hope wouldn’t let go. Not until she was ready. Not until she could safely stand on her own again, no matter how long it took.
So she stayed. For minutes, for hours—she didn’t care and she didn’t count. Angelica stayed right where she was, pressed into Hope’s arms, the one place of safety she knew that she had. Because while they’d had a rocky start, Hope had proven she could do this, time and time again.
Angelica drew in a deep breath, her nose sniffing from the snot that had caught in it, but it was still so much easier to breathe than it had been before. She did it again, finally catching her body back up to the reality that she was facing. Hope’s skin was so warm.
Skin?
Angelica blinked a few times, clearing the tears from her eyes, and she pulled away enough to realize that Hope was in her uniform, but the buttons were completely undone, and Angelica was just pressed against a white tank top, thin and warm from Hope’s body.
Dashing her tongue against her lips to wet them, Angelica relaxed her fingers in the fabric, knowing that it’d be so wrinkled already and Ansel would throw a fit about it, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
Not right now anyway.
“Why aren’t you dressed?” Angelica asked, squinting as she stared down Hope’s body. “Not that I mind you half-undressed, but…why?”
Hope hummed, sliding her hands down Angelica’s arms before moving to reach to her back and pull at the microphone pack. She turned it off and put it on the bench. Angelica frowned at the device. She hadn’t even realized…she shouldn’t be talking right now.
“We should be filming,” Angelica said again, her voice raw and gravelly. She needed to pull herself together again, push away the fact that she’d just cried the hardest she had in literal decades and go back to work. Everyone would expect her to—
“We should be,” Hope answered, brushing the backs of her fingers along Angelica’s damp cheek. “But we can do that later.”
Angelica was about to step back and walk inside, but Hope tugged her closer instead.
“Not yet,” Hope whispered. She wrapped their fingers together tightly, leaning down so their foreheads were pressed together.
Angelica tensed, but then she stilled. She stayed there, the feel of Hope’s breath against her cheeks, the firmness of her hands holding her in place, the touch of Hope’s forehead to center her. She could take a few more minutes. What harm would that do?
Hope moved slightly, pressing their lips together. Angelica tilted her head up to deepen the embrace. Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned into that kiss, using it as her lifeline to the real world that she knew she needed to get back to. But she couldn’t quite get to the point of forgetting.
“My mother died,” Angelica murmured, breaking the kiss.
Hope cupped her cheek, pulling her back in for another quick kiss. “Why didn’t you tell me when it happened?”
“I didn’t think…” Angelica stopped at that.
Why hadn’t she said anything? It’d been all day at this point, and literally no one knew about it.
She’d kept it to herself. And it hadn’t been because she didn’t want the attention or to explain why she didn’t need to leave and deal with family matters or why her family texting and calling was driving her up a wall. That hadn’t been it at all.
It had been because she was scared of this.
The breaking.
The vulnerability.
The pain and loss that she hadn’t allowed herself to feel for years.
Because now there wasn’t any hope of reconciling, not that she’d wanted to, but it was completely out of the realm of possibility now.
She’d thought she’d be numb to it, but she wasn’t.
Instead, she was thrown right back into those moments when she’d made the decision to cut her mother off all those years ago.
But Hope hadn’t asked why she hadn’t told anyone. Hope had asked why Angelica hadn’t told her.
“I didn’t want to feel.” Angelica swallowed those words down, and they cut her deeply.
But it was the honest, raw truth, and with Hope, she wouldn’t deny it.
“I don’t understand it, I don’t know why I’m so upset when I gave up any kind of relationship with her years ago, and I don’t want to figure it out. Not right now, anyway.”
Hope nodded and pressed a kiss to Angelica’s cheek. “So don’t. Not yet.”
Angelica moved in again, pressing their bodies together as they stood.
She wasn’t ready to let go. No one would be able to give her this quiet acceptance.
This was one thing she’d loved about Hope from the beginning—she always just accepted.
Whatever was given to her, she accepted it.
Whatever it was, and she never pushed for more.
“God, I’m a mess.” Angelica stepped back and brushed her hands against her cheeks to clear them. “How bad is my makeup?”
“Ansel will throw an absolute fit.” Hope snorted lightly and rolled his eyes. “But he’ll fix you up right away, I’m sure.”
Angelica wasn’t quite ready for that, though. She didn’t want to go back inside and start back where they were. She wasn’t sure she could do it, actually.
“How mad is Florence?”
“Pissed.” Hope sighed heavily, still keeping her fingers wrapped in Angelica’s. “And I think telling her to fuck off really didn’t add to her mood either.”
“What?” Angelica jerked her head up instantly. “I didn’t tell her to fuck off, did I?”
“No. I did.” Hope gave her a sheepish smile. “When she told me filming was more important than you.”
“You did what?” Angelica’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“I didn’t use exactly those words.” Hope shuffled her foot against the gravel. “I think my exact words were closer to people mattered more than filming and she should shove it because we all know what happened to Josef and she shouldn’t repeat his mistakes.”
“You didn’t!” Shock ricocheted through Angelica’s chest.
“I did.” Hope frowned, but Angelica could tell that she didn’t feel bad about it at all. “I do have an idea though.”
“What’s that?”
“We do need to keep on filming. So you go get pretty with Ansel, and I’ll talk to Florence and Rex and Cadence.
You and I can film with Theo and talk finances together with him—we need to do that anyway.
And Cadence can continue filming the dinner service with Kora for a bit.
How does that sound?” Hope ran her fingers down Angelica’s arms to her hands again.
“It sounds good.” Angelica’s voice wavered. It was exactly what she needed.
“Then go talk to Ansel. Give him many apologies, promise him wine, and I’ll meet you up front.” Hope kissed her again. “And we can talk about your mother and your family when you’re ready.”
“Thank you, Hope.” Angelica swallowed hard, looking up into Hope’s eyes.
“Anytime, you know that.” Hope gave her hand one last squeeze before she walked away.
Now, at least, Angelica had a task to focus on.
She did exactly as she’d been told, and within thirty minutes she was sitting in the office with Hope and Theo, at a round table, with two iPads between them and numbers staring back.
Angelica could do numbers like this in her sleep.
She could fill out finance sheets and make everything count and add correctly.
But explaining that entire process was something else entirely.
And it’d take far more patience than she had right now.
“Action,” Rex said calmly, his voice hitting the room and propelling them to do something.
“Theo, my number one suggestion for you is going to be to spend some money on hiring someone who can do your books for you.” Angelica glanced at Hope and nodded firmly, just so that Hope knew she could get through this to the end. At least she could with Hope right there beside her.
“I don’t have the money,” Theo answered.
“You do, sort of. But I think the point is more that you can’t afford not to,” Hope chimed in, locking her gaze on Angelica.
They were so good like this when they worked together. When they were a team with one goal in mind. It was a huge part of why the show had taken off the way it did. The chemistry was right, the love was there, and they not only balanced each other out, they propelled each other toward excellence.
“The food truck is what’s keeping you going,” Angelica added.
“You can see that here. It’s beyond profitable.
” Angelica pointed to the screen and a few of the graphs.
Oftentimes with people who didn’t understand numbers well, this was the simplest way to make sure they understood what was going on.
“Labor is always going to be one of the highest costs you have, and it’s a balance of how much you need to spend and how much you can afford to lose. Right now, you’re way overstaffed.”
“Overstaffed?” Theo’s eyes bugged out. “But we can’t keep up with the tasks!”
“You can.” Angelica glanced toward Hope, bolstering herself. “And we can talk about how to streamline those tasks tomorrow. Right now we’re just focused on the finances. But if we streamline the tasks, then it’ll be immediately obvious how much you can lower payroll because of it.”
“I guess.” Theo ran his hands through his hair and tugged on them. “I just… I look at this and go cross-eyed. It just doesn’t make sense.”
“That’s why you need to hire someone,” Hope said.
“Kora’s got the food under control, seriously.
She understands the profit and loss when it comes to food management and restaurants, so I wouldn’t worry about that at all.
In fact, I’d suggest giving her another food truck to double the income there.
She can set up in two locations for lunch, and then she can serve dinner here while setting up in a third location for dinner.
It’ll increase the costs, but I think it’ll at least double, if not triple, the profits. ”
Theo winced but nodded.
None of this was really digging into his brain, was it? Angelica was going to have to break it down to the basics as best as she could. In other words, this was going to be a very long meeting indeed.