Chapter 5 Cord
FUCK.
Why did he have to say that? I was doing fine.
Had my shields up and my feelings closed off.
After seeing him last night and then that little texting interlude when I got home, I’d convinced myself I wasn’t going to fall into that trap again.
As far as I’m concerned, Asher Winston may be used to winning, but he isn’t going to add me back to his list of conquests.
Yeah, I’d missed him when I walked out. I mean, I’d known the guy practically my entire life.
He knew things about me no one else did.
But I wasn’t lying when I said he’d hurt me.
After my childhood, it took me a long time to see myself as having value.
And while Asher may not approve of him, Dante helped me get to that point.
With Asher, it seemed I was nothing more than another possession.
It’s funny because when we were kids, I was the one who always looked out for him. I was bigger, stronger, meaner. And I didn’t mind that role. Even after we transitioned and our relationship evolved past mere friends, I still looked out for him.
But then his mentor Carlyle started monopolizing all his time.
Grooming him to be his successor. And Asher not only took to it, he became it.
It’s like he changed overnight. His ambition knew no bounds.
And I was like an anchor weighing him down, especially when I didn’t respond to his demands to want more.
I’d tried to shrug it off, ignore the taunts and criticism, but it just got to the point that I couldn’t take it anymore.
I’d pick fights just to get out of the house.
And then I’d pick fights out in the street to silence the rage.
I started asking Dante for more dangerous assignments, and Dante of course obliged.
Which only pissed Asher off more. I was in a bad place and knew if I didn’t change things I was either going to destroy myself or let someone else do it for me.
So I left.
Did I miss him? Hell yeah, I missed him. Cutting him out of my life was like cutting off a limb. There’s been no one else before or since. No one can make me feel the way he does, but there’s no way I’m giving him that kind of power over me again.
And now he’s here, on his knees, those damned emerald eyes fixed on mine, his signature musk and woodsy scent filling my head, and I can’t think. I should tell him to go. No, I should insist that he go.
Now.
Before I do something I’ll regret.
So why am I reaching for him? Craving his touch. No wonder he succeeds at business. He’s a perfect manipulator. A perfect vampire. He’s…
“Evil,” I murmur as his hand crawls up my leg and closes over the growing bulge in my jeans, his tongue snaking out to lick those full lips. Lips I love seeing wrapped around my cock. I shudder thinking of the things he can do with them.
“Please,” I whimper, and I’m not sure what I’m asking for. To leave? To continue?
“Let me take care of you,” he breathes as he unbuttons my pants.
This is wrong. This is regret waiting to happen.
I can already feel my cock pushing against the back of his throat and he hasn’t even touched it.
How can I want him when he’s so bad for me?
He slowly lowers my zipper, his eyes never leaving mine, his long slender fingers slipping inside my pants.
Touching me.
Caressing me.
He pulls out my cock and closes his fist around it, slowly working me up and down while his thumb rubs around my head with just enough pressure to milk more precum.
“I…don’t,” I gasp, not knowing what I want to say. Or maybe I do. I just can’t think straight. Why does he always have this effect on me? “Ash, please…”
He smiles, his green eyes hooded. “Yes, baby? Please what?”
I reach down, closing my hand around his and try to push him away, but he dips his mouth closer, his tongue lapping at the precum his thumb smeared over my head.
“Mmm,” he moans. “I’ve missed your taste.”
My cock jerks at that sound. I have to stop this before it goes any further. Before…
His lips close around my head.
Fuuuuck.
I try to stay impartial. Try to keep my head, but damn.
It’s been so long and his mouth feels so good.
He sucks me deep into his throat, his tongue running circles around my length while his head bobs up and down, slowly torturing me with need. I don’t want to respond–I absolutely do not want to respond–but I can’t stop my back from arching off the couch like it has a mind of its own.
Jesus fuck.
Stop.
Now.
Without will my fingers tangle in his hair, pulling his face closer. Fucking his mouth.
I’m not small by any means, but Asher can take all of me, swallowing me down his throat without gagging. That throat that’s so tight and hot, and I need it. Need that friction as I grind against his mouth.
He keeps one hand tight around the base of my cock while the other one reaches up under my shirt, finding my nipple and rolling it between his fingers. Because he knows what that does to me.
“Fuck, Ash. I need…”
He pulls back, my cock sliding out of his mouth, and I nearly weep for the loss. “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”
“Don’t…stop,” I growl, pulling his face back down to me. He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating along my length, causing my balls to tighten. I’m close–so close–which is the last place I want to be.
He begins to suck in earnest now, pulling me deep into his throat, his fist tightening around my base while he pinches and rolls my nipple.
I’m coming apart, losing my grip on reality as the orgasm builds inside me. My rational mind is in there somewhere, warning me to pull up. To get a grip on things. This isn’t what I want.
But the voice is getting farther away as my need roars in my ears.
How does he always do this to me? That mouth, that tongue. That emerald stare that sees right through me even when I’m trying to hide.
This is not how it’s supposed to go.
I’m stronger than this.
I grind against him, my eyes rolling back in my head as the release builds. Blinding me to everything but the world inside his mouth.
“I…fuck…Jesus.”
I don’t even know what I want to say.
When it hits, the orgasm washes over me like a tsunami. Like a fucking volcano exploded inside me. I haven’t come this hard since…
Well, since the last time he blew me.
It takes me a minute to reorient myself and catch my breath, so I don’t notice when Asher’s mouth releases my cock and moves down to my groin. Not until I feel his teeth enter me and the unmistakable rush of my blood being sucked from me.
I should be angry. I should stop him. I didn’t give him permission to feed off me.
I didn’t give him permission to suck my cock either.
Did I?