Chapter 31 Cord #2
I drain my glass and stand up, walking over to join him at the window.
“It’s been a shitty week,” I say after a few minutes.
His profile reflects the rain-smeared lights of the city outside. “I’m sorry if I had anything to do with it.”
Damn it.
“It’s not you. It’s this damn Python business. Why can’t things just go back to the way they were?”
“You mean before we ran into each other?”
Partly, yes, but I don’t want to say that. For some reason I don’t want to hurt him, and that pisses me off even more. When I don’t speak for several minutes, he sighs and leans his head against the glass.
“I don’t know what else to do, Cord. I feel…I feel like I’m drowning here.”
So do I, I want to say, and I don’t know why. Is it being with him? Not being with him? Being close and not touching him?
I’m right on the edge, and I don’t know if I want to jump or run away. “Why did you have to complicate things?”
“I didn’t mean to. I’m just trying to live.”
He turns to me, his eyes shining with unshed tears, and something inside me breaks. I’m causing this. Me and my stubbornness. I’m tearing him up as bad as he is me. Shouldn’t that be a sign that we’re no good for each other?
Or is it that I should stop fighting the inevitable?
Because Asher and me…we’re the closest thing to inevitable I’ve ever known.
So why am I holding back? Is it the fear of getting hurt again, or is it something else? The fact that I can’t answer that keeps me balanced on a knife’s edge.
“I have some of your old clothes in there if you want to leave.”
I step closer to him and reach out, my fingers almost brushing his. Close enough to feel the heat from his flesh. I know what will happen if we touch. I don’t know if I can do it.
He takes the option away from me, making the first move. He closes the distance, his fingers dancing across mine as an electrical current passes between us.
“I get the feeling you just want me for my body,” I say to break the mood.
“Not just your body, though it is a nice perk.”
His eyes find mine and I feel like I’m falling. I lean in, our lips so close I can taste his breath. His hand slides up to my waist, pulling open the belt of the robe.
We stare at each other for a minute, then he takes that last step, his lips meeting mine. I have all I can do not to throw him against the glass and rub my cock against his. The kiss deepens, our tongues searching, finding, tasting, tangling. I want to swallow him whole, to merge with him.
To lose the space where I end and he begins.
He pushes the robe off my shoulders and presses his body against mine as his hand closes around my cock. Smearing precum over my head and stroking me.
I fumble with his sweatpants, pushing them down over his hips so his cock can spring free, already hard. Already leaking for me.
He breaks the kiss, his mouth hovering over my ear.
“Is this what you want, Cord?”
Don’t think. Don’t question. Just feel.
“Fuck. Yes, I want you, Ash. In me, on me, around me.”
God, we’re doomed.
“Ordinarily I wouldn’t want the world seeing what’s mine, but I want to fuck you in front of the city right now.” He turns me around, pushing the side of my face into the glass and sticking two fingers in my mouth.
“Suck.”
I do as he says, wetting them well, then he pulls them out and shoves them into my ass, finding my trigger spot and sending sparks shooting in front of my eyes.
“No lube.”
“Just do it,” I groan, pushing my ass against him.
He presses his crown against my hole, then leans close, whispering in my ear. “No regrets, right?”
I know what he’s asking. Every time we’ve fucked, I’ve ghosted him afterwards, lost in my own head. Fighting the inevitable. I can’t promise I won’t do it again.
“I’ll try.”
“That’ll have to do,” he sighs.
He buries himself in me in one powerful stroke. Pain and pleasure become blurred as I fight to get my breath. The only thought running through my head is, this is how I want to die.
And then he starts to move, his hips pumping against me, his cock dredging my channel. Bottoming out then pulling almost all the way out. Slow and steady until I beg him to fuck me harder. To hurt me.
“Oh baby,” he grunts as he plows into me. “I love it when you talk dirty to me.”
He reaches around to take my cock in his hand, jerking it in rhythm with his thrusts while his teeth tease at my neck.
“Have you fed tonight?” he murmurs.
The question pulls me out of my head. I think back to the bag of blood I had in the cell. Not live, but I’ve gotten by on less.
“I’m good.”
He tsks in my ear then drives his teeth into my flesh. I throw my head back, giving him access as he drinks from me. My cock swells as his hand works its magic, his own cock dragging against my prostate over and over again until I can’t see straight.
“I’m close,” I gasp.
He pulls his mouth away from my neck and finds mine in a bruising kiss. I taste my blood on his tongue as my orgasm crests over me, decorating the window with my cum. He follows right behind me, banging me against the glass as liquid heat fills my ass.
He rests his chin on my shoulder, his hot breath stroking my ear.
“I wasn’t going to do that tonight,” he says after a minute.
I chuckle. “Since when?”
He wraps his arms around me, holding me close. “I was going to give you space. Let you come to me.”
“I don’t think that’s possible with us.” I turn around in his arms and kiss the tip of his nose. “I guess this is who we are.”
His eyes spark, the green deepening to something that looks like hope, but I don’t want to do that to him.
Not yet.
Not till I’m sure.
As if reading my mind, he smiles and brushes the damp hair back from my face. “I don’t want anything you’re not ready to give.”
“I’ll be honest. I don’t know what that is just yet.”
“Then we’ll take it slow. As long as I have you in my life, I can wait.”