14. Amy
Chapter 14
Amy
I leaned over the kitchen counter, my phone in my hands and my text thread with Novak on the screen. I lost track of how many times I’d typed out a message and then erased it.
The ceremony had been days ago, and I hadn’t heard a single word from him since he abruptly dropped me off at the square, after I thought we’d had a nice time. Now I was second- and triple-guessing whether or not to message him first.
He’ll only bring you misery.
Every time Thorne’s words tried to shove their way into my mind, I pushed them back twice as hard. Not even the king of vampires and chain-smoking would make me think Novak was a bad person just because of his bloodline.
“Put your phone away and try this.” Tavia shoved a wine glass with a few ounces of red liquid in my face.
I looked up, meeting her bright but hooded eyes. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, a flush covering her neck, cheeks, and ears. A lazy smile seemed permanently fixed to her face since the ceremony. She looked blissed-out, or more crudely, well-fucked, like she woke up receiving at least five orgasms per day. Considering she was in her honeymoon phase, that probably wasn’t far from the truth.
But more than anything, she looked happy and in love.
Obliging her, I set my phone down and picked up the wine glass by the stem, swirling it as I inhaled deeply.
Tavia was a master brewer, vintner, cideress, you name it. If it was fermented alcohol, she knew exactly how to make it delicious and drinkable. It was her biggest contribution to Sapien when we lived there. No one dared to mess with her because they didn’t want to be cut off from the booze supply.
For the first time ever, I smelled something off and slightly foul in the wine. Almost a rancid, rotten scent. I schooled my features so as to not offend Tavia.
“Did you try something new?” I kept my tone casual, glad that she was pouring another taste for Bea and not watching my expression.
“I added a little bit of blood at the start of fermentation. It’s an experiment, since vampires like to add blood to their drinks. Of course, Cyan can’t taste it so I need unbiased, un-blood mated opinions.”
“Whose blood, your own?”
That might have explained my aversion. Since Tavia had done the blood mate ritual at her ceremony, maybe her blood smelled off to me because her lifespan was now tied to Cyan’s.
Another thing to consider was that I generally wasn’t attracted to women. I remembered the sexual rush that came over me when I drank from Novak’s wrist, as if I’d ever stopped thinking about it. He’d looked so close to kissing me, to pulling me into his lap and devouring me, and not just my blood.
If he’d have made a move, I would have given in. Enthusiastically. I had never wanted anyone so intensely before. He must have known that, must have seen me squirming as I drank from him. I was on the brink of an orgasm from his blood alone. He could have been… turned off? Weirded out? All I knew was that he stopped everything, took me home, and gave me the silent treatment.
Message fucking received.
“No, it’s not my blood.” Tavia laughed. “Cyan would have a fit; my blood is only for him. I went to the blood bank and bought a donated bag.”
I frowned. Well, there went my theory.
“Is it human?” Bea inquired, taking a sip.
“Dragon shifter, actually.”
“Ah, that explains it.” Bea smacked her lips. “Just a little spicy. It’s really good, Tav!”
“Thanks, Bea.” Beaming, Tavia turned to me. “What do you think, Ames?”
“Oh, yeah!” I effused, swirling my glass more aggressively. “Same. It’s delicious.”
“Yay!” Tavia did a happy little twirl, which I’d never seen her do before. “It’s just a test batch, but I’m really excited to jump into a whole new world of flavors with blood.”
“Bet you never thought you’d say that.” Bea smirked before draining the rest of her taster.
Tavia laughed. “Definitely not.”
My phone buzzed with a message and I immediately zoned out of the conversation to read it. When I saw Novak’s name, my chest felt like fireworks as I opened his text.
Hey, I’m sorry about how I acted the other night. It’s been a long time since anyone fed from me directly and I forgot how intense it can be. I’m sorry if I freaked you out. I just wanted to make sure I was levelheaded before getting in touch.
My fingers hovered over the screen, trying to decipher his message. Words like intense didn’t necessarily mean he was attracted to me, but they didn’t mean he wasn’t.
I waffled between full-on honesty or being more coy in my reply. In the end, I decided the full truth was best discussed in person.
You didn’t freak me out. We’re good. It was intense for me too, but not in a bad way. Can we talk about it more face-to-face? Just so I understand feeding better. Maybe when Jo is whipping up something delicious? :)
Haha, yes. Of course. She works this weekend. I’ll let her know you’ll be here. :) Any requests?
I’m open to surprises ;)
Just when it comes to food?
“Amy, hey.”
I looked up from being engrossed in my phone to see that Cyan, Tavia’s mate, had entered the room. I hadn’t even heard him come in, but he was across the counter, his arms around Tavia’s waist.
“Hey, Cyan.”
“Can we talk for a second?” The vampire released my friend and nodded at the couches across the room.
“Um, sure.” I stared at Tavia, who shrugged. Her face gave no hints as to what her mate would want to talk to me about.
Was it over Novak? His texts sounded like he was starting to flirt with me and I was really eager to get back to my conversation with him. Blood ‘til Dawn couldn’t track my phone activity, could they?
I followed Cyan nervously to two armchairs at the farthest end of the room. He sat in one and gestured for me to take the other.
“So, what’s up?” I did my best to sound unbothered as I sat down across from him.
He said nothing for a few moments, which didn’t help my nerves at all. He just watched me with those sharp, red eyes. Brighter and a little eerier than Novak’s.
“How are you holding up?” Cyan asked finally.
“With what?”
He let out a soft chuckle. “Must be good, then. I just mean everything in general. The attack, coming to live here, all the adjustments afterward.”
“Oh, well… ”
My arms instinctively crossed over my stomach. Aside from seeing the Marrower after the ceremony, I only thought of the attack on Sapien when I saw my scars in the mirror.
Since meeting Novak, I felt like I had emerged from a fog. My first two weeks as a brusang were awful, but that almost felt like a different existence. I had been drowning in the grief of my human life, and Novak was my first real breath of fresh air. He made me feel like I could be okay as a brusang.
Now, how to explain it to Cyan without hearing another lecture like the one I got from Thorne?
“I’ve been holding up okay,” I said, giving him an earnest nod. “It was rough at first, but I think it’s sunk in now. And I’m just doing my best.”
“That’s good.” Cyan leaned back with a smile. “I’m glad to see you talking with Tavi again.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I wanted to pull you aside because we’re releasing the Marrowers who attacked Sapien.”
A bolt of panic hit me, and a clear memory of that day surfaced. Roaring monsters with yellow eyes and large lower fangs.
“You are?”
“Yes.” Cyan’s gaze weighed heavily on me. “They’ve detoxed from the draitrium, and we’ve confirmed that none were in their right minds at the time of the attack. Someone set them upon the settlement—none of them chose to do it. If you recognize any of them around the Heart, we’re confident that they would never intentionally hurt you.”
“Oh my God. Thorne mentioned they were drugged.”
“That’s correct.” Cyan sighed. “Now we’re tasked with helping on repairs and finding out who drugged them.” He lifted a hand. “That’s not something for you to worry about, though. I just wanted to make you aware those Marrowers are actually innocent.”
“You’re helping to repair Sapien?” I asked, an idea striking me like lightning.
“Yeah, the property damage was substantial. And we feel responsible, since our part of the Half-Century Agreement includes protecting the settlement from attacks.”
“Do you think… I could come?”
Cyan’s eyebrows lifted. “You want to come with us?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, that was my home. Plus, I’ve been wanting something to fill my time. I can mend fences, help clean up any debris, whatever you need.”
A sense of homesickness filled me. I hadn’t seen Sapien in over a month. I missed Robin, who was like a mother figure to me and Tavia. I missed the woods where we’d go foraging, the sounds of roosters crowing in the morning, the community kitchen and the smell of food cooking. I even missed the people, despite knowing few of them cared for me.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Amy,” Cyan said. “Tavia and I snuck you out of there, making them believe you’d heal better if you lived with your best friend. Have any of those humans even seen a brusang before?”
“I don’t know, probably not.” I shrugged. “But I am still human in a sense, right?”
“Yes.” The word was hesitant and drawn-out. “But also no. You’re not the same as you once were. And Sapien’s humans pride themselves on not integrating with vampires. Forgive me for saying this, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a brusang, but,” he looked uncomfortable, fangs digging into his lower lip, “you might be a little too vampiric for them.”
My excitement began to deflate. “You think I shouldn’t go?”
“That’s up to you. If you want to come, we’ll be glad of the help. I just know Tavi wants to leave that place behind because of how they treated both of you. It holds painful memories for her.” His brow furrowed with concern. “I would hate it if going back dug up old wounds for you.”
He was right to be concerned. I wasn’t sure how I would have survived if I didn’t have Tavia with me. But then again, I never got the chance to find out. If a bully shoved me in a mud puddle, she immediately did the same to them. When a boy stole my clothes when we went swimming, she rubbed poison oak all over his pants before I even knew my stuff was missing.
Who would I have been if I wasn’t in Tavia’s shadow?
I had stood up for myself more in the weeks since becoming a brusang than in my whole human life. Cyan was right; I wasn’t the same as before. But I needed to revisit my past to know how. I couldn’t fully articulate why. It was some mix of seeking nostalgia and closure at the same time. All I knew was I needed to go back, this time without my bulldog at my side.
“I would still like to go,” I said. “I need to, for me.”
Cyan nodded gravely. “All right then. We’re buying materials and tools then heading over there next week.”
“Thanks for letting me tag along.”
“Sure. I just hope they remember your teeth are sharper.” He stood with a smirk. “Thanks for talking with me.”
Another idea hit me as he started to turn away. “Oh hey, Cyan.”
“Yeah?”
“I know you said not to worry, but the drugged Marrowers. You’re trying to trace where the drug came from?”
“Yeah. We took blood samples when they got here.” He blew out a breath. “Unfortunately, none of us are smart enough or well-equipped enough to do anything with them. I’m sure the properties of the drug can be isolated, which would tell us more. Thorne’s reaching out to his sources, but we don’t have an on-hand nerd to do any testing. So our hands are a bit tied.”
I took a deep breath, bracing myself. “Novak has a lab. He’s very, I dunno, sciencey. I’m sure he could help in some way.”
Cyan barked out a laugh. “What?” He leaned in closer, nearly whispering. “Novak of Rathka’s Order? You can’t be serious.”
“I am serious. It’s just a suggestion, anyway. Wouldn’t hurt to ask him.”
“Uh, yeah it would.” Cyan gave me an incredulous look. “You’re really into him, aren’t you? Shit.” He lowered his mouth to my ear, actually whispering. “Did he make you his blood pet? Is that why he had to show his face at my ceremony?”
“No!” I jerked away, anger heating my face. “He didn’t even want to come, because he knew it would cause friction. I wanted him there. He hasn’t even fed from me once, for fuck’s sake. If anything, he’s my blood pet.”
Cyan shook his head, casting his gaze around the room before returning to me. “I would not go around making statements like that, if I were you.”
“Why not?” I shot back. “He’s nice to me, and he doesn’t judge me for who I’m friends with.”
Cyan’s jaw clenched, like he was holding back a tidal wave of things he wanted to say. “Just be careful around him. Rathka’s Order, they were not good people. They used my kin,” he pointed to himself, “to build armies to fight against the werewolves, while they sat back, safe and warm in their castle in the Crown. Just because we were a poorer, more expendable clan. They had the blood of other vampires on their hands.”
My breath stuttered. When Novak mentioned his clan did awful things to Blood ‘til Dawn, I never imagined it was something like that.
“I’m sorry that happened. Really I am, but none of that is Novak’s fault.”
“What’s that human saying?” Cyan tilted his head. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree? Oh wait, there’s another one. A chip off the old block, something like that?”
I continued to glare while Cyan shook his head and sighed again.
“Just be careful, Amy. For your sake, I hope he’s different. But it’s widely believed that his clan was so morally corrupt, Rathka himself turned his back on them.”
“You’re talking about the sickness, Rathka’s Curse?”
“Is it really a curse if all it did was expose their true nature?”
“Novak didn’t receive the Curse,” I argued. “By your own reasoning, he is different from the others.”
“Or,” Cyan countered, “he got the worst punishment by having to witness it all. To watch the fall of his clan, the eradication of his family, and be left with nothing.”