Chapter 22
22
MALACHI
I wasn’t sure if Jesse was going to show up for sound check. To be honest, I wouldn’t have been surprised if he didn’t. I also thought he might take a swing at me again. I wouldn’t blame him because I knew he didn’t have a problem with my sexuality. Based on what he’d said at the office, his issue was that I had been messing around with his brother behind his back. Dating your best friend’s sibling always had a forbidden aspect, and a part of me worried that if things between Jasper and me didn’t last, it would cause tension between me and Jesse.
I hated to think about me and Jasper not working out, but it wasn’t like I could see into the future. What would happen after the tour? He had said he would be going back to Boston, so had he not even thought about the possibility of moving to LA to be with me? Would he even want to move to LA? Would we have a long-distance relationship? What about the next tour? Would he be our chef again? The situation was mired in so many variables.
In order to keep my bisexuality a secret and prevent upsetting Jesse unnecessarily before Jasper and I were sure about our relationship, it had been easier to not tell my best friend what was going on between me and his little brother.
But now he knew and was pissed.
Before arriving at the venue, I called my parents to talk about the photo that was circulating. They took the news that I was bisexual very well and when they learned I was dating Jasper, they were elated. They didn’t press for more details, knowing I had sound check to get to, but it felt good knowing they were happy for me.
I walked into the Spanish-style theater on Hollywood Boulevard and saw the stage crew setting up and adjusting the lights and sound equipment. Elliott, Silas, and Savannah were chatting near the side of the stage, laughing about something. I spotted Jesse standing with his back to me, hands shoved into his pockets. He was talking to the members of Midnight Thunder, but glanced over his shoulder when I entered. Our eyes met for a brief second before he turned back, clearly not wanting to talk to me.
As I moved toward Elliott and the others, Jasper walked toward me, and my heart smiled at the sight of him. He reached me in a few quick strides and pulled me into a brief but tight hug.
“Hey, you okay?” he whispered into my ear.
“Better now,” I replied, giving him a small smile as we pulled apart.
“The car ride was awkward.” He examined my face as though he was looking for the spot where Jesse had hit me. Last I’d checked, there was nothing there yet.
“I hate this,” I admitted.
“He has to come around, right? You guys have to play together.”
“I hope so, but we could probably manage if he doesn’t.”
Jasper shook his head. “I don’t like that.”
“Me either.”
He blew out a breath. “So, what does the statement say?”
“That Savannah and I are no longer together but we didn’t want to announce it until after the tour. That it was an amicable breakup and we have both moved on. Mine goes on to mention my sexuality and how it has no bearing on my performance with Surrender.”
“I hate that anyone who isn’t straight has to explain themselves,” he huffed.
“Me too.”
“Let’s go!” Jesse called, motioning for everyone to take their place on stage.
“Come with me back to my place after sound check?” I asked Jasper.
“Okay.” He smiled.
I winked at him and then made my way to the stage, feeling the weight of the awkward silence between me and Jesse. Savannah flashed me a supportive smile as she stood off stage and waited until she was needed. Silas just gave me a nod, and Elliott squeezed my shoulder as he passed.
Sound check began, and we tested the mics and instruments, and after Midnight Thunder ran through a few songs, we did as well. Despite the music filling the venue, I couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling between me and Jesse. His silence was deafening, and it took all of my effort not to let it affect me.
Finally, we wrapped up, and I stepped off the stage. As Jesse hurried toward the door, he looked over his shoulder at Jasper and snapped, “You comin’?”
Jasper shook his head. “Going to Malachi’s.”
“Of course you are.” Jesse glared at me.
“Jesse, wait!” I called out and tried to catch up to him, but he put up his hand.
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You might not want to, but you should,” Elliott cut in. “We can’t let this beef affect the show tonight.”
“The show will be fine.” Without another word, Jesse stormed out, the metal door banging against the wall as he left.
“You guys are stressing me out,” Silas stated. “I’ll catch you all in a few.”
We had three hours until we needed to be back for the show. There was no telling what Silas was going to do, but for me, I just wanted to have quiet time with Jasper.
Elliott pointed a finger at me. “Don’t make me lock the two of you in a room until you figure this shit out.”
“It’s not me,” I argued, stepping up to stand beside Jasper. “I want to work it out.”
“I know. I’ll talk to him after the show tonight.” Elliott walked over to Savannah.
“Good luck.” I motioned for Jasper to follow me so we could leave. Once we were outside, the paparazzi started snapping photo after photo. I glanced at Jasper, his eyes wide. Reaching for his hand, we bolted for my Mercedes. Questions were thrown at us, left and right: asking who Jasper was, how long had we been dating, had we gotten together while I was with Savannah. I ignored each one. As soon as we were buckled in, I got the hell out of there.
“Jesus, they are ruthless, huh?” Jasper asked, looking over his shoulder at where they still snapped pictures of us driving away.
“You get used to it.”
“Do you?”
“I mean, it sucks having them practically everywhere, but it comes with the fame. Are you sure you want to be a part of this?”
“Absolutely,” he said without hesitation.
“Even if it costs you your brother?”
“I don’t think it will. He’s more upset we didn’t tell him than he is that we’re dating.”
“I hope you’re right.”
My eyes locked onto Jasper’s as he stood in the front row, looking up at the stage as I sang the duet with Savannah. I winked and then looked back at Savannah. We were usually eye fucking each other during this part of the show, but tonight, it was different. It was almost as though I could hear everyone in the audience whispering about the so-called scandal. Maybe they were.
Once the guys and I sang our encore, we exited the stage. Sweat was dripping from every inch of my body and I grabbed a bottle of water and drank the entire thing in one long gulp.
“All right, guys,” Rina said. “Great show. We have the meet and greet starting in thirty. Go freshen up.”
We headed to Surrender’s green room. Jesse still was not talking to me, but I was done trying to get him to hear me out. When he was ready, he could come to me. I didn’t need his approval, and it was clear we could still perform without uttering a word to each other.
Grabbing my bag, I changed out of the tank top and jeans I was wearing and into a fresh tank top and pair of jeans. Jesse and Elliott did the same, but Silas was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did Silas go?” I asked.
“Said he left his bag in the car,” Elliott replied.
I nodded and went to the small makeshift bar and poured myself a vodka soda. The door opened and Olivia and Jasper walked in.
“Great show, you guys,” Olivia stated.
“Thanks, baby.” Jesse stood and kissed her lips.
I wanted to do the same with Jasper, but also didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire. Instead, I asked him, “Want a drink?”
“Sure.” He walked up next to me.
I poured him one, and then we sat on the couch. We still had about twenty minutes before we had to put on a smile and pretend we weren’t exhausted and just wanted to go home and crash before we headed back out onto the road. We had a show in San Diego the next day and would leave in the morning to head down. I just wanted to go to my condo, shower, and crawl into my bed one last time with Jasper before we were back on a cramped bus and sleeping in hotels again.
As the minutes ticked by, Silas still hadn’t shown up, and the meet and greet was about to start. Savannah, the one who took the longest to change, had even returned so she and Elliott could make out in the corner.
“Where the fuck is Silas?” I asked again.
We all shared a look, likely thinking the same thing.
“I’ll go look for him,” I said, setting my drink down. Jasper gave me a questioning look, and I mouthed, “I’ll be right back.”
I made my way through the backstage area and out to Silas’s car first, but it was empty. I headed back inside, searching every room along the way. Finally, I reached the bathroom. I pushed the door open slowly and my heart stopped at the scene in front of me.
Silas was passed out on the grungy floor, a bag of white powder lying next to him. The sight of his pale face and the shallow rise and fall of his chest sent a jolt of panic through me, so I rushed to his side.
“Silas!” I shook him, but he didn’t respond. “Help!” I shouted as my mind raced. I fumbled for my phone and dialed 911 as fast as I could with shaky hands.
“911. Where’s your emergency?”
I told them where we were, and what I thought was happening, and then yelled again for help from my friends.
“Come on, Silas, wake up,” I urged, shaking him again. His breathing was light, his pulse weak. My heart pounded in my chest, and time stretched into what felt like an eternity.
The bathroom door flew open, and Jesse burst in, followed closely by the others. Jesse’s eyes widened, and he quickly knelt beside me, helping to prop Silas up.
“Shit!” Elliott gasped.
“I called 911. The ambulance is on its way,” I stated.
“We need to keep him awake,” Jesse said, slapping Silas’s cheeks lightly. “Silas, stay with us, man. Come on.”
Security came into the small room, saw what was happening and muttered, “Fuck,” before running off.
“Come on, Silas,” I pleaded.
A moment later, the security guy came back. “Move out of the way.”
Jesse and I pulled away from our friend and watched as the security guy administered Narcan into Silas’s nose.
The seconds ticked by, each one feeling like fucking forever. But then, Silas’s body jerked suddenly, and he took a deep, ragged breath. Relief washed over me, but I knew we weren’t out of the woods yet.
“Keep talking to him,” the security guy ordered. “We need to keep him conscious until the ambulance arrives.”
“Silas, stay with us,” I begged, dropping to my knees again and gripping his hand tightly. “Just open your eyes, okay?”
Jesse knelt beside me. “Come on, buddy. You’re stronger than this.”
Silas’s eyelids fluttered, and he groaned softly. His eyes opened, unfocused and glassy, but it was a start. I squeezed his hand, willing him to stay awake.
The distant wail of sirens grew louder, and soon the paramedics burst into the room, taking over. They checked his vitals, started an IV, and loaded him onto a stretcher.
I stood back, watching helplessly. Jasper stood next to me and grabbed my hand. I held on tight, thankful for him and also scared out of my fucking mind. The reality of the situation crashed over me in waves. We should have gotten Silas help a long-ass time ago. We shouldn’t have turned a blind eye because we knew what he was doing.
We should have helped him.