Chapter 19 #2
“Seriously?”
“Why’s it spicy?” Her voice was gritty.
“Put that down before you hurt yourself.”
She did, but then she leaned in close. So close that I had to lean back in my chair just to keep space between us.
“Why are you avoiding me, Marley?” she asked.
I kept my eyes on the screen for a second longer before closing the laptop halfway.
“Like I said. I ain’t avoiding you. I’m just tired.”
“Right.” She watched me closely, reading more than I was saying. “And it ain’t got nothing to do with what I said?”
Do you love me?
“No.”
“And you’re not still mad at me?”
“I got no reason to be.”
“Good.” She gave a small nod. “I thought drinking on the job was a bit too far but if you’re cool with it then no reason to harp on it.”
I looked up at her then, unimpressed. Right, she did do that shit. I was so distracted I forgot about it.
“You know what? I change my mind.”
She smiled at that to show she was glad she got a reaction out of me.
“Too late! No taksies backsies.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I really did miss you though,” she said, her tone shifting. “All this shit aside, I care about you, you know?”
I held her gaze for a second before answering. “I care about you too.”
“Then talk to me.”
I leaned back in my chair, rubbing my jaw, trying to figure out how much I could say without saying too much.
“It’s complex shit going on in my head right now, Bunny.”
“Talk to me, Marlon.” she pushed.
I pressed my eyes closed and grimaced. “I-I gotta tell you something that’s been on my chest for a minute but I don’t know if I should.”
Her body lifted closer to me with interest immediately. “Okay? Say it.”
I tried to look at her but ended up looking away. “I can’t.”
She let out a sharp breath, stepping off the desk.
“Look,” she said, standing in front of me. “This situation is complex enough as is, man. I can’t keep chasing behind a grown man for him to face his own feelings. It’s only room for one immature personality in this and I think that right is reserved for the twenty-something.”
God forbid a man has trouble processing shit he ain’t healed from in thirty years.
I scoffed. “Thanks.”
“Don’t take my bluntness for indifference,” she added quickly, her voice steady. “When I said I care, I meant it. But I can’t add this to the list of other things I gotta worry about, so if you wanna talk, talk. If you wanna play games, play them. But just not with me.”
She turned to leave.
I moved before I thought about it, reaching out and catching her hand, stopping her.
“Bunny. Please.”
She stopped.
I stood then, closing the distance between us and bringing her hand up to my face as I talked. It felt so natural to do.
“Gimme time, okay?” I requested, quieter now. “I need to get my mind together before we talk and I can’t right now.”
She didn’t pull away.
Her hand shifted slightly, her palm opening more against my cheek.
It slowed everything down. My breathing. My thoughts. The tension that had been building all day. I could look into her eyes again. I could relax. I did relax as she stroked the fine hairs of my beard coming back in. I closed my eyes and savored it.
No noise and no Alice.
“Is that okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said after a second. “It’s just… I never thought I’d see the day you let me touch your face.”
Fuck.
I stepped back, letting her hand fall away, the contact breaking quicker than I wanted it to.
The room felt different after that with neither of us moving.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s fine, Marlon.” She walked toward the door. Before she opened it, she looked back.“Hey, you can swing by my hotel room when you’re ready to talk, okay?”
I held her gaze for a second.
“Yeah, okay.” The door closed behind her and I stood there for a second, staring at it praying she wouldn’t come back and force me to finish what I started.
She didn’t.
I exhaled and dropped into my chair, elbows on my knees, hands clasped tight.
A million ways to say what I need to say and my mind ran through every version of the truth then killed each one before it could fully form.
Just tell her straight, lone wolf.
No.
No, she’d look at me different.
Like I wasn’t who she thought I was.
Like I played her.
I braced my hands on the desk, head dropping for a second before I grabbed my keys and left the office.
The building was quiet by the time I made it down the hall. Most of the staff had already cleared out, lights dimmed, doors locked behind them.
I didn’t head for the exit.
My feet carried me in the opposite direction.
Down toward the cellar. I hadn’t been in there since I fucked Rory and with these new memories, it seems that wasn’t the only time I did the unthinkable in here.
The air shifted the second I stepped inside.
I grabbed the first bottle I saw without thinking, twisted it open, and took a long drink right there by the rack. I leaned back against the shelf, staring at the rows in front of me. And I had the nerve to get on Aurora about drinking at work. Maybe sometimes it’s needed.
I took another drink, this one longer and it finished the bottle in one go. I set the empty bottle down and grabbed another, drinking it slower this time, like pacing it would make a difference.
It didn’t make me feel better but it did make the voices go silent and right now that was enough.
By the time I made it to her hotel, I looked like what I’ve been through.
Shirt wrinkled and sleeves pushed up uneven. I stood there for a second before knocking.
One knock, then the door opened.
Aurora stood there with her hair done up in rollers and a bonnet covering it. She had them patches under her eyes and her robe slightly opened exposing her glowing skin.
“Hold on, O.” She pressed her phone to her chest before she addressed me. “Do you see what time it is? It’s late and we got work in the morning!”
“Chanel don’t make no bonnets.”
Her eyebrows screwed together. “Nigga. What?”
I pointed to her head and she sucked her teeth. “Man, fuck you.”
I held my hands up. “My bad. Didn’t know it was gonna piss you off.”
“No, what pisses me off is you showing up at my door at 2 a.m.”
Shit, is it that late?
Her eyes dragged over me, taking everything in. “Are you…drunk?”
I straightened. “I had some drinks.”
“Goodnight, Marlon.” She rolled her eyes and started to close the door. “Go home and get sober.”
“Wait—” I stopped the door. “I came to talk to you.”
“Tomorrow.”
“Rory.” I dropped my hand and my guard at the same time. “Please.”
She looked me over again.
“…damn,” she said under her breath. “I’ll call you later, O.”
She hung up and put her hand on her hip.
“You actually look tired now.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Long day.”
She stepped back, opening the door wider. “Come in.”
With a nod, I walked past her and she closed the door behind me. ]
“Let’s get you cleaned up.”
There was something different about her energy tonight. Like she was actually being strict with me and she was over the games.
I didn’t argue because I didn’t have the energy to. She took my hand and led me toward the bathroom.
Her place was different from the first night. She had it suited to her taste. Pinks and reds and blushes and roses. And the whole place smelt like a bakery. I walked into a damn Avon catalog.
“In here,” she led me to the tub. I watched her robe raise up when she bent over to twist the faucet. The bathroom filled with the sound of running water. She adjusted the temperature, testing it with her fingers before nodding to herself.
“Sit,” she said, glancing back at me.
I pulled my shirt off, dropped it to the side, then kicked off my shoes. She didn’t rush me. I kept my eyes on her as she grabbed what she needed. By the time I stepped into the tub, the water was ready.
I sank down slowly, letting it hit my back, my shoulders, easing some of the tension I’d been carrying all day.
She handed me a towel and I threw it over my face, leaning my head back against the edge. The door opened softly. I didn’t move the towel, but I heard her come back with the faint clink of glass.
“You sober up?” she asked.
“Wasn’t drunk.”
“Whatever, Marlon. Look. Just drink this.”
I lifted the towel slightly. “What is it?”
“Drink.” She forced it in my hand.
I took a sip and it was strong. “Fuck! Is that gin?”
“Yeah, so?” She shrugged. “You’re supposed to keep drinking when you’re drunk or you’ll have a hang over. Everybody knows that.”
I gagged. “That’s the bullshit they tell y’all now? You know that’s how alcoholism starts right?”
“Okay then don’t drink it!” She grabbed the cup out my hand and poured it down the sink. “I swear! Everything I do is a problem! Next time—”
“Aurora,” I said calmly. “You’re loud.”
She paused. “I’m loud? That’s all you have to say?!”
I just looked at her and she shut up immediately.
“Come here.”
She stepped closer, but when she got to the tub, she hesitated.
“In,” I added.
Then she slid her robe off, showing her naked figure and stepped in slowly, but she stayed on the opposite side not touching me.
I lowered the towel completely to look at her. She was waiting on me to decide how this went.
All that attitude. All that mouth.
And now she’s quiet.
“Come closer, Bunny.”
She didn’t argue.
She moved, closing the distance between us until she was within reach.
I pulled the towel off my face and handed it to her without breaking eye contact. Then I reached for her, guiding her into my lap.
She settled there easily, her body fitting against mine.
“Wash me,” I said quietly, putting the towel in her hand. She took it without hesitation, dipping it into the water before bringing it to my chest.
She dragged it across my skin, watching what she was doing and not me.
But I watched her.
My hand wrapped around her wrist before guiding it deeper into the water and around my dick, then I leaned back. She looked at me briefly but didn't say anything, using one hand to wash my body and the other in slow motions on my shaft.