Chapter 2
Eric
“Oh my god, these are funny as hell” Ryan wheezes out his words with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard.
Not that I can blame him. These things go past grotesque and land firmly in the kind cute, kinda weird category.
Carter is beyond pleased with himself and fair enough, these are kinda genius.
“I must name him. Sir Richard the first. Master Dik if you’re naughty” Jordan winks at me. His rainbow striped dino dick butting heads with my matching one.
“I named my megasourarse….get it?” Carter laughs, his head thrown back and his husband just shaking his head fondly. I bet it's chaos in their house.
“What will we name yours, Oh I know Patdick…instead of Patrick” Jordan offers killing himself laughing as he takes them both and starts to scan the family room for the perfect place to put them.
“Patdick and Sir Richard, happily ever after, I love them Carter. You have surpassed yourself this year.”
“Dickalas Cage” Gavin announces with a straight face which just sets the whole room off again. How can somebody have little to no reaction to the absurdity of this conversation?
“Do mine next” Pete demands, shoving his neon yellow dino dick in his husband's face.
“That's easy, Jelly bean. Yours is called Jelly Peen.” The way Gavin says it, like it's the most obvious answer in the world and he's slightly bored by the questions makes me like him even more than I already do.
“If his is Megasourarse, is yours Minisourarse?” Ryan asks his brother who just shrugs and nods.
“In my defense, he bought me a smaller one for that exact purpose. I also just want to remind everybody these are not for…use.” Naturally we all look at Carter when Roman makes such an unnecessary announcement.
“You thought it was a dildo didn't you?” Drew asks with a slight wince at the thought of lubing up the hard plastic dick and trying to make it work. Carter doesn’t even flush red. The man is shameless. I seriously admire that about him.
“Course I did, I tried to fuck the dino so nobody else had too. You're welcome by the way.” He huffs playfully, dropping back to sit between romans legs, his back against Romans chest.
“I’ve got it!” Ryan loudly shouts standing up with one blue and one red dino dick. “Everybody meet, Cocktain America and Fucky Barnes.” That breaks the last bit of control I had and I lose it. Barking out a laugh so hard Jordan jolts on my lap and looks back at me, jaw slack.
“I think you broke my boyfriend with your dino dicks,” Jordan mutters looking around the room before catching Blake and Marcus whispering to each other.
There is the barest blush on Blake's face. Whatever Marcus is whispering clearly has an effect on Blakey boy. Can’t have that now.
What kind of sudo dad would I be if I didn't cock block my son.
“Are you giving yours a name Blake?” I call out once my giggling fit has subsided. His face blushes brighter now, eyes darting from me to Marcus and back again.
“General Dicktaitor?” Blake phrases it like a question, likely expecting us to make fun of him.
I hate that he still lives with the fears his fucking family embedded in him.
Even though it's been years since Jordan and I saved Blake from the beating his brother and his fucking asshole friends where laying on Blake in the ally outside our old apartment building.
Shortly after, Jordan's parents took temporary custody of a then sixteen year old Blake and brought him to California to have a fresh start and finish school. He thrived there, completing high school with honors and is at college doing a degree in computer programming. I’m so fucking proud of him.
Old habits are hard to break though, he may never lose them and that's perfectly okay. As long as he surrounds himself with people who understand and accept him for exactly who he is. Which I suspect Marcus does.
“Thats funny as fuck” Carter roars in response setting us all off again. His enthusiasm over the whole thing is contiguous. Something tells me Jordan's cheese grater will be long forgotten after this gift.
I pull Jordan back, plopping him onto my lap so I can run my fingertips lightly over the exposed skin on his back.
Naturally Jordan could never wear a novelty Christmas jumper or snazzy shirt like me.
No, of course not. My lashes is wearing a crazy expensive crop top shirt and soft flared pants, some kind of chain thing that wraps around his waist and up to his neck and sexy black heels.
He looks incredible and It’s taking a lot of self-control not to kick everybody out so I can rub my hands over every inch of him.
Knowing Jordan will never settle with the mess in the kitchen, I can feel his leg bouncing right now.
He’s probably thinking that he’s going to be too exhausted for any kind of fun by the time we get through it all alone.
I need to tackle that before I can even think about whisking him to bed.
As much as I love me some cuddles, Lashes has been tempting me all night in this outfit.