CHAPTER 2
ROMAN
I’m not sure how long I sit outside mindlessly scrolling on TikTok, getting lost in a void watching videos of classic car transformations and a very hot lumberjack guy cutting wood and growling. I could watch that guy all day. Seeing people arrive for the show, I feel a deep sense of pride. It makes me realize that despite my nerves I want to experience his magic. There are so many people here to support Ryan, his colleagues, and the center they are raising money for. It's incredible. Fuck, if only there had been a center like that around when I was a stupid seventeen-year-old believing I was in love with my teacher. Maybe somebody could have explained to me how wrong it was, because no matter what I believed back then Terry should never have even entertained my advances. I was a minor and his student for fuck’s sake.
Shaking my head I quickly clear any and all thoughts of him. I need to keep moving forward and not looking back. My first step forward needs to be reconciling with my little brother.
I take a deep breath, injecting steel into my spine and step out of the car when I get my mom’s text telling me now is the time. My hands are literally shaking as I pull open the door and step into what looks like a celebratory party. My eyes dart around the room full of people and colorful paintings and sketches scattered around between dancing couples. The music is loud and the lights are flashing. It's beyond overwhelming having spent the last fifteen years behind bars. I'm struggling to keep my breathing even, and I've barely taken two steps inside.
A throat clearing to my left has my head turning to take in two big guys staring daggers at me with their arms crossed over their chests. One bearded, the other not. Both covered in tattoos. Security maybe? Shit, do they know who I am? Did Ryan somehow find out I was coming and send these guys to make sure I don’t get near him? Fuck, I’m already starting to sweat as I take a half step back, ready to just make a run for it. Not that these guys scare me. What scares me is the thought of Ryan turning me away, shunning me in front of all these people.
“Can I help you?” A sweet angelic voice pulls me back from my panic but it clearly wasn’t either of these security guards who spoke. Looking down I take in the curly haired twink in front of me. He looks young and sweet and his suit is formal and fits him like a second skin. I look down at myself then back to him. I am very underdressed, no wonder I’m standing out. I refused to let my mom buy me a suit for tonight, so I was stuck wearing black jeans and a leather jacket I managed to pick up in a thrift store for thirty bucks with my old boots from high school that look every bit as old as they are.
“Holy shit, you’re Ryan's brother.” The tiny twink sounds like a fog horn and suddenly the whole room has stopped and turned to us.
“You okay, Jellybean?” One of the big guys, the bearded one, walks closer to Tiny and wraps his massive arm around him. The non-bearded one, however, is still looking at me like he can see through my clothes. I don’t think he's even blinking. Apparently what I thought was aggression was actually interest in his eyes… his non-blinking eyes on his beautiful tattooed face. My arms fold over my chest to mirror his stance. If he's gonna check me out, well I'm gonna check him out right back.
Our stare off is quickly broken when a voice I haven't heard in fifteen years hits my ears like a ton of bricks.
“Roman?”
“Um, hey bro, I’m out.” My voice is shaking as much as my hands right now and I have to resist the urge to just back out and run away to Alaska.
“You’re out as in… you’re gay?” Tatts, the guy that checked me out, asks from beside me as he finally unfolds his arms and takes a step closer to me for a closer inspection I guess.
“No, as in he just got out of prison,” Ryan announces in a cold tone that hits me directly in the chest. My mouth opens but snaps closed quickly because it's very clear he doesn’t want me here.
“But are you just out of prison and out of the closet?” Tatts asks, making my jaw drop open again, in shock this time. Who is this guy?
“Carter, why don’t you go and get Roman a drink?” Ah, so Tatts’ name is Carter. Good to know. “Ryan, why don’t you and Drew take your brother into Gavin’s office and have a private conversation? I'll drop the boys to yours on my way home.” Damn, Tiny does not fuck around. He’s standing there getting us all in check while holding a bulldog under each arm. I take a cautious look at Ryan. He’s staring at me with contempt, and I get it. I don’t deserve his time. I’m ready to walk out when he clears his throat and walks toward the back. I guess that’s my cue to follow him.
Walking into the back office of the shop, I close the door on the guests and music but I’m still unable to take a full breath, even in the quieter room. Ryan paces the small room, pausing every few steps to look at me like he is still trying to wrap his head around the fact I'm standing in front of him.
“Roman, how in the hell are you here right now?” The disbelief in his tone is evident. I look at his boyfriend, Drew, who is thankfully staying silent, allowing this to be between my brother and I. I respect that and offer him a small smile of thanks. “Cap, this is my brother, Roman, Roman, this is my fiance, Drew.”
“Fiance? Wow, I didn’t know. Congratulations, Ry-Ry.”
“Don’t call me that. Of course you didn’t know, you know nothing about me. And why is that? Oh, I know, because you were in prison and I haven’t seen you since the day you were locked up. You’re out? Well, good for you, but why are you here?” Every word that spills out of Ryan’s mouth cuts me deep. I know I deserve it, I practically erased him from my life but damn it hurts.
“Sweetheart?” Drew’s voice is calm and soothing as he crosses the room to slide a comforting hand on Ryan’s back and I watch as he visibly relaxes into the touch. “He’s here now, does it really matter why? I know you’ve missed your brother. Let's go home and you two can talk.”
“Give me a chance to explain everything.” I find my voice and speak up. “If after hearing me out you still feel like you don’t want to have anything to do with me… I’ll leave. Please, Ryan. You deserve to know the truth.”
“Damn right I do.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fine, let's go home, I’m not doing this here. Where is Mom? She didn’t even tell me you were coming, I assume you’re staying with her?”
I nod, ashamed that she had to lie or omit things to him. “I asked her not to tell you until I was able to speak to you myself, please don’t be mad at her,” I beg him.
“Of course I’m not mad at her, I’m mad at you, idiot. I want to see her before we leave, she probably needs a hug after dealing with your ass.” I fight a smile as he brushes past me and heads back out to the party.
“I hope you are prepared to tell him the truth, Roman. I won’t let you hurt him any more than you already have. You cut him out of your life like he meant nothing. He had to live thinking you didn’t give a fuck about him for fifteen years. You owe him the truth and so much more.” Drew’s tone leaves no question as to his love and loyalty to my brother and it makes me like the guy even more.
“I swear to you, I will explain everything. I don’t want to hurt him, I want my brother back and I want to be the big brother he should have had growing up.”
He just nods and pats my shoulder as he passes me on his way out the door. Running my hands over my face I take a moment to breathe in the quiet of the room before following behind my soon to be brother-in-law. With most of the guests gone and the music turned off, the open space seems to calm my nerves. I scan the remaining crowd for Mom but can’t see her. Ryan is talking to the big bearded guy by the door so I hang back not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
“You look like you could use this.” I spin and see Tatts holding out a beer to me. Now that I'm not being bombarded at the entrance I can actually take him in. He’s shorter than me, but not by much which probably puts him around the six-foot-three mark. He has small intricate tattoos decorating the side of his face. They look like a mishmash of traditional-style sticker tattoos that blend up into his hairline and down onto his neck, which is mostly covered like mine. I would hazard a guess that he has as much ink as I do, just done a hell of a lot better than mine. While his ink is extensive, that isn’t what is holding my attention. His forest green eyes quite literally sparkle. It’s like he oozes confidence and charm. Reaching out I take the bottle from him and tip back my head to swallow a long pull from it. He wasn’t wrong, I did need this.
“Thanks, Tatts.” I smirk, licking my lips to catch a stray droplet of beer. His returning smile is accompanied by a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows that makes me choke out a laugh.
This guy flirts like it's his job, and he’s good at it.
Unfortunately, before I can applaud his facial dancing capabilities, Drew approaches us.
“Your mom just texted that she wants you two to get your shit straight — her words, not mine, so come on. You’re staying with us tonight.”
“Later, Tatts,” I throw back to Carter over my shoulder already knowing he's checking out my ass and if I happen to add a little sway to my hips, that's my business.