CHAPTER 17
ROMAN
Walking into the police station has every hair on my body standing on end. I can feel my anxiety trying to claw its way out but I do not have time for that. The waiting area is filled with people. Spotting Ryan first, I rush toward him then reel back seeing the blood on his shirt. My heart is starting to beat loudly in my head but Ryan’s hands lock onto my forearms and his eyes force mine to focus only on him.
“Breath, Ro. I’m okay, Carter is okay, this isn't my blood,” he reassures me while exaggerating his breathing in hopes of coaching my body to follow along.
“What the fuck happened, Ry? What did they arrest him for?” My throat feels dry, it's closing up like panic is trying to drown me. His grip seems to tighten on me and I see Drew moving in closer to my side like they think I may collapse when they tell me. My eyes start to dart around the room and my breathing picks up again as I hold on to my brother.
“Just tell me, Ryan. Please,” I beg as I fight to stop my chin from wobbling.
“Terry. He had an appointment at the shop with Nyx. We had no idea until he turned up this morning and Nyx mentioned he was a math teacher. I guess Carter figured out who he was and… fuck he lost it. I've never seen him like that before. He's not an aggressive guy but he beat the asshole regardless.”
“I have a partner at the firm with him right now. Eric will get him out on bail as soon as they finish taking everybody's statements,” Drew tells me with a reassuring hand on my shoulder. It feels like this is some kind of fucked-up dream. Everything is going on around me but I can't move or speak. The fear of losing Carter to the same fucking bastard that took all those years from me has me frozen in place.
I was already reeling from finding out who James really is and now Carter… fuck. I feel like this is all my fault. If I hadn't come into his life he wouldn’t be in this position. Ryan is right, Carter isn’t a fighter, he's a lover. He kills with kindness. I barely register my surroundings as Ryan directs me to a chair and they all crowd around me. I don’t deserve their comfort and support, yet it is given so freely. I’m not sure I will ever get used to this but I’m learning to accept it.
Conversations flow around me but they sound far away. I’ve disconnected from reality as I try to formulate a plan, a way I can help. If they would let me do the time for him I would. Carter is not built to be caged and my heart is breaking just thinking about him in handcuffs on the other side of the door from me.
Nyx arrives at some point and I hear her saying that Terry has a broken nose and bruises to his abdomen. His injuries aren't that bad, but it doesn't matter because the attack was unprovoked. The shop has cameras and from what I have pieced together, Carter confirmed his name then just attacked. I feel bile rising to the back of my throat and I have to swallow hard to stop from throwing up on the floor of the police station.
It’s then that the door leading to the interview room opens and a man I don't recognize, in a very expensive suit tailored to his trim frame, walks toward us. My eyes follow Drew as he stands up to greet the man. They seem to be having a hushed conversation, then Drew looks at Ryan and nods before the guy who I'm assuming is Drew’s coworker turns to us. His hands slip into his pant pockets taking a casual stance as he addresses our group of concerned friends.
“So, here is where we are at. Mr. Banks has agreed to accept me as his legal representative and he has already given an honest statement admitting absolute fault and stating he is happy to take full responsibility for his actions.” He holds up his hand to stop the onslaught of questions on the tip of our tongues.
“This is a good thing. Carter has no record to speak of, he’s extremely remorseful and has taken accountability for his actions. A few of the cops seem to know him and his character so it’s likely that it will be community service and maybe a fine. He is being released now on bail. So everybody smarten up and whichever one of you is Roman, he is looking for you, so be ready.” He winks and turns around, heading over to the reception desk to complete the paperwork for Carter’s release.
Thank God I'm already sitting because if I had been standing I would have folded like a house of cards with relief. Arms move around me, everybody hugging me and celebrating that he gets to leave now. My hands start to furiously wipe at my face and try to tame my hair back into place from all the tugging I have been doing to it. I refuse to take my eyes off the door, not wanting to miss the moment he walks through.
The door that opens first is not the door I was hoping for but my head still whips around at the sound and my jaw drops open. An extremely disheveled James walks through. He’s so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t notice us until he practically walks into Gavin’s arm as he protects Pete from the collision he didn’t see coming. He gasps in surprise and splutters an apology with a raw throat. His eyes are bloodshot from the tears he shed this morning and likely all afternoon. What the hell is he doing here? As he lifts his head and looks up at me, the regret and fear in his eyes tell me instantly what he's about to do.
Next thing I know I’m pulling James back outside the police station. I take in his shaking form and hate that he still steps back away from me. He really still believes I might hurt him. If I had wanted to hurt him I would have done it back at the center.
“What are you doing here, James?”
“I’m doing what I should have done fifteen years ago. I can’t give back what I took from you but I can make it right now. I can clear your name. I know it doesn't make anything better, but I have lived with the guilt of that day in court for a long time and watching you work so hard for the center and how everyone speaks so highly of you just shows me how deep his manipulation ran back then.”
Wait, what? Who is he talking about? Thinking back, James must have been sixteen or seventeen when all this shit went down. Did Terry have his hooks in another?
“Are you talking about Hobbs? Was something going on between you two?” I ask and grab his arm to stop the pacing. I need him to make it make sense.
His gaze softens and I can see tears welling up in his eyes again. I recognize that look. I’ve seen it in the mirror for a long time. Shame. I was fucked up that Terry got involved with me when I was seventeen and he was twenty-three, but if Terry was involved with James two years later and James was only sixteen at the time… That's a pattern and he's even more of a predator than I ever imagined. For all we know he's still targeting his students.
“It was me,” he admits, but I still have no idea what he’s confessing to. So I just wait for him to continue. “I saw the text he sent you that evening because I was there. I got mad, started yelling that he was cheating on me and the fucking asshole just laughed in my face and told me to stop throwing a tantrum. I… I don’t even remember where the bat came from, just that one minute he was laughing at me and the next there was blood and then I got scared, called 911 and ran away.” His body shakes while he cries. “The next day, I wanted to go to the police and confess to everything, but before it happened he called me and said that he forgave me, and you deserved what was coming to you because you were a bad seed and he couldn’t get free of you. He said you were obsessed with him but he didn’t want to hurt your feelings, he wanted to help you but in the end you were beyond help. Told me how brave I was and that I was a good boy and one mistake shouldn’t ruin my future. I was so young and so stupid. I wanted his praise so fucking much.”
I don’t know what is more fucked up. What James did, how far he took his lies or the fact that I actually understand. I was in the same position as he was, wanting and needing the attention and approval of the man I not only loved but idolized. I probably shouldn’t be surprised that the asshole didn’t want to ruin the future of the kid who beat him bloody, but had no problem with ruining mine because that way his sick fucking secret stayed hidden.
I take a moment to process everything he just told me. “How long did things last with him?” I ask, a sick feeling in my stomach.
“Until graduation. He told me it was time for me to move on, that I was going to achieve great things in life.”
So he got rid of me when I was nineteen, kind of overkill to have me sent to prison, especially considering I was going to dump his closeted ass that night. Then packs James off to college with well wishes. I’m starting to see a pattern here. This is so beyond fucked up.
“I’m guessing that's why you push so hard for the center? You realize how fucked up what he did to you was and want to help create a safe place that could help kids like us. I get that. It’s why I want to be there, but hasn’t it occurred to you that he could still be doing this? Grooming his students?” I take a calming breath and lift my head up to face the sky. I understand that he was a scared kid, he made a mistake, but there is a chance other kids have suffered because he didn't say anything. Then again, I probably could have tried harder or yelled louder that we were a couple back then.
He’s here now. We have a chance to put an end to it. Composing myself I look back at him, seeing the shame in his eyes.
“I know I've been a coward, Roman. I’ve carried the guilt and regret of my actions for a long, long time. It’s been an ever-present entity in all aspects of my life. I’m fucking ashamed of myself. It took you coming to the center with such a positive attitude after everything I put you through, for me to know that I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. So, I've been trying to secure as much funding for the center as I could and now I'm here to set it straight. To make it right. I won’t even insult you by asking for forgiveness but please know that I am truly very sorry.”
His reaction to me at the center makes so much sense now, as does what Derek mentioned about him pushing so hard and over working. It doesn’t make up for keeping silent but he’s trying. “You do realize, not only did you assault Terry but you lied under oath. If you go in there and confess to everything you will go to prison.”
“Roman, I need to do this, whatever the consequences are going to be. It’s time for me to man up and take responsibility for my actions.” His words are no longer wavering and I admire his commitment to getting the truth out there and stopping a predator. Whether he’s targeted other boys, I don’t know, but he deserves to be punished for what he did to us. If nothing else he needs to be far away from schools.
“Look. There is an attorney inside, he’s supposed to be the best criminal defense attorney in the state. If he can’t help us expose Terry then nobody can. And hey the reason I’m here is because my boyfriend ran into Terry and broke his nose. Karma really has come to collect today,” I say, looking over his shoulder to my group of friends all huddled together waiting for Carter to come out.
“Your boyfriend isn’t in trouble though, is he? Did they arrest him?” I shake my head then stop.
“Well, yes they did arrest him but he's not in trouble, or not too much trouble anyway. Let's just head inside and speak to Eric.”
He takes a deep breath and then nods.
“It’s time. I’m ready.”