Chapter One
Present Day
Ilet out a sigh of relief as the door to the locker room shut behind me.
Just for a minute, I could let the professional face of Doc Cullen fade and just take two minutes for myself.
Tonight was a madhouse. We were down a doctor, and Hanna, the matron of Tewsbury Hospital, was off sick with the same nasty flu that had taken out half the town.
Rhys calling in sick yesterday didn’t come as a surprise.
Simon was already down with it, and from what Cal had said, Mouse was home with it too.
Mind you, from the slight smirk on Cal's face, I'd say his Daddy nature was enjoying getting to dote on a sick boy.
Poor Rhys, on the other hand, had to deal with an out of sorts and grumpy daddy, but I knew my friend well, and he'd only put up with so much of his daddy’s bullshit before he called him on it.
I'd call him when I finished my shift. Glancing at my watch, I groaned.
My shift still had another five hours to go.
Officially, Tewsbury East Shore Hospital had two full-time doctors, and I stepped in when we needed extra hands on deck.
I was a trained emergency trauma specialist, and that had been my job for years in London before I returned home.
But between the flu, a nasty pub brawl, and being down staff, tonight had been seven different kinds of hell, and I officially couldn't wait to get home and bury myself under my quilt until Sunday morning.
Opening my locker, I smiled at the photo I'd taped to the inside of the door a few weeks back.
It was a shot of Mouse, Rhys, and me at the farm.
I had still been wearing the sparkly tiara that Alice had given me.
That time away had been precious. I didn't get enough time these days.
I hadn't even visited Crimson House in months, but perhaps I was getting too old to run around kink clubs looking for a daddy to tame me.
That thought made me sad. I would turn fifty in two weeks, and I still felt as young and vibrant as I did at thirty.
I honestly wasn't ready to give up that part of my life.
I knew it sounded ridiculous to those not in the lifestyle, but facing a life without kink, turning my back on the community that had come to mean so much to me, left a hollow feeling in my chest, and I didn't want to face that.
It would be no different from telling me I could no longer practice medicine. It was intrinsically part of who I was.
Fuck, I was tired. I only got this melancholy when I was tired. Not just the sort that came from physical exhaustion, but mentally tired. Normally, when the itch started under my skin, and I found sleep and relaxation eluding me, I would ask Callum for a non-sexual session.
Sometimes just half an hour under his flogger would put me in a better headspace, or if I found myself particularly needy, I would ask either Marco or Roman at Crimson to let me serve them for the evening, but in both cases, the Doms had recently started new relationships, and I didn't want to impinge on their time.
I knew Mouse would scold me and tell me I was being ridiculous and demand I ask his daddy for help, but I honestly needed more than just a Band-Aid. I needed someone I could call my own.
The overhead speaker crackled to life. Bella's voice echoed over the speaker announcing incoming ambulances, plural. Three-car pileup on the road between here and Robin Hood Bay.
Even though we were technically a community hospital, we were as well equipped as some of the larger regional ones, mainly thanks to the many fundraisers and donations the town had undertaken or made.
We could handle many cases the smaller town medical centres couldn’t, and this was why we needed more staff.
Not just doctors but nursing staff and clerical staff to keep the place running.
I quickly moved down the hallway, my bright pink Converse squeaking on the freshly polished floors.
Aiden, our newest doctor, was already waiting in the bay for the first of the ambulances to arrive, reading over the report sheet and calmly calling out instructions to Bella and Ayaz, our head nurse.
“How's it looking?” I moved around to take my place alongside Aiden as we waited for the first ambulance.
“Not great but not as bad as it could have been. Reports seem to indicate a few suspected broken bones. One occupant headbutted the windscreen, so we’re going to want to send that one for a scan asap.
The occupants of the other car had mostly superficial bumps and bruises, though the paramedic on the scene suspects the driver may have fractured his arm. ”
I clapped my hands together with the same mix of emotions that went through me before every emergency as I watched as the first ambulance backed into the bay. “Here we go.”
“Make sure Mr Russell and his son are put in a room together.
His son said he grows anxious if he can't see him.” Luckily, when they had been brought in, the son had been conscious and able to explain his father had early onset dementia.
With forewarning, we were able to keep both men comfortable and the stress levels down.
No road accidents were good, but at least the carnage had been minimal this time.
The passenger who wasn’t wearing a seat belt and had headbutted the windshield had been the most worrisome, and they were going to be staying under observation all night.
He had been conscious and coherent when they had been brought in with a massive hematoma on his forehead showing where his head had hit the window.
Frankly, I was surprised with how little he was injured.
The scan showed no internal bleeding or fractures, but I was still going to keep him in to be watched for the night.
Rubbing my eyes, I caught Aiden's gaze. He looked as worn out as I was. “Coffee?”
“Gods yes. Don't suppose you have any of those Hobnobs stashed away?” I nodded.
I didn't share my secret stash with just anyone, but Aiden was a good sort, a damn fine doctor, and an excellent surgeon.
He'd worked as an orthopaedic surgeon for years in Newcastle, but wanting a life change, he'd moved here to spend time with his mum and fell in love with the town.
I got it. Even with my mixed emotions regarding the town, I could see how people could fall in love with it.
They hadn't had the place tainted by their parents, and, slowly, even I was falling back in love with the town.
I think the friends I had here helped, and I could see Aiden would fit in well with our group.
I could see him and Simon easily bonding over tattoos.
Aiden had nearly as much ink as the Viking Ink crew and he'd started to be a regular at Crimson House gatherings though I hadn't been in months at that point, but I still had my weekly coffee and shit-talk with Roman.
Which reminded me, I needed to tell him about the new tea shop I had found. The Earl Grey shortbread biscuits they made were close to heaven.
I followed Aiden through to the staff room and let him get the coffee going while I went to my locker and pulled out my Tupperware container with my Hobnobs in it. I think we'd earned more than a couple. I could already taste the milk chocolate tops.
I laughed as I watched Aiden make grabby hands for the biscuits, which was funny considering his badass mohawk and piercings. He could look intimidating, and when he was at Crimson in his sadist Daddy Dom space, he was, but I also knew the giant teddy bear side of him.
“So why have we never done a scene together?” Aiden sprawled out on one of the sofas, and I took the other. These couches were uncomfortable, but at that moment even its lumpy cushions felt like heaven.
“Well, that's probably because you like your boys younger with a little more masochist to them, and I think I might be a little long in the tooth for you.” I smirked over my coffee.
I'd seen the pretty boys he liked to scene with.
I'd even watched, a little envious, when he and Perry had doubled-teamed a cheeky sub named Tim.
Not that I would admit that to Perry. That man was the devil in electric blue eyeliner, and I wanted no part of him.
I was just envious of the scene and watching Tim go into subspace.
Aiden looked over his coffee mug and smiled. “Not a pain slut then?”
I shrugged while taking a long sip of my coffee before answering.
“It's not as cut and dry as that for me.
Pain is one of those things that needs to be at the right time and situation.
I've found that good paddling can help centre me when I'm feeling out of sorts and when the brat in me is switched to eleven, so to speak.” I stretched my legs out and groaned as my joints popped in relief.
Aiden nodded, smiling. “I've had more than one sub tell me a similar thing.” Aiden took a biscuit out of the box and took a bite, groaning as he chewed noisily, bloody heathen. Hobnobs should be savoured and not demolished.
I nibbled my own, praying this lull in activity would continue for another thirty minutes, then my shift for the night would be officially over. I yawned and stretched again, tilting my head. I saw the sun had started to rise, meaning my walk home would at least be in the morning sunshine.
“Are you going to go to the event at Crimson tonight?” Aiden asked, sneaking another biscuit.
Shrugging, I thought about it for a moment. “What was the event planned for tonight?”
“High Protocol forms I think, and Cal was going to give a demonstration on Florentine flogging.” My ears perked up.
I was interested in both of those things.
High Protocol was a huge kink for me. I was truly happiest when I was of service to my master, not that I'd had that in a very long time, but it was most definitely one of my core kinks, along with flogging.
As I had said to Aiden, pain had its place for me, and flogging was one of those things that, when used at the right time, could send me to nirvana.
“Tempting.” Was all I could answer. Honestly, it was tempting enough to pull me out of my own self-imposed exile. Perhaps it was what I needed. To hell with trying to find a master or daddy. I just needed to go out and enjoy myself.
“Come on, Cullen, it would do you good. And if you don't get your cute arse nabbed by a lucky Dom, I will offer up my services if you're feeling in need of a spanking.” Aiden gave me a huge grin, and I couldn't help returning it.
He had that same devil-may-care attitude that Cal had.
It must be a sadist thing. We had fun chemistry, but nothing that I could see turning into more than fun scenes together. But that would do me happily for now.
“So?” Aiden asked, smiling. “Are you coming tonight?”
“Alright, you've twisted my arm.” A night out would be good since I'd been working between the hospital and my clinic, but it had turned me into a hermit. Maybe that was why I was feeling so down on myself and wanting to avoid the club.
Time to get myself out of my funk and get my kink back on.
“Excellent. Now shall I pick you up?” Aiden grinned mischievously, already knowing the answer.
“Hell no. I will not sit on that death trap.”
“Don't call my baby that.” Aiden pouted, which looked thoroughly ridiculous but made sense with how in love the man was with his bike, a 1955 Vincent Black Shadow which I had been informed by Aiden on numerous occasions was a British classic.
“A motorcycle is not a baby, Aiden, and I have a perfectly serviceable car to drive.” I countered as I stood up and went to the sink to rinse out my mug. I wanted to check in on the young man with the hematoma and make sure the Russells were settled in.
“That mini of yours is not serviceable. I swear the car is the same age as me.” Aiden scoffed.
“It is not.” I did a quick mental calculation. My mini was a ‘95 Rover Mini Cooper, and Aiden would have been seven when it came out. I winced thinking about that. “It’s not old, it's mature like me.”
“Yes, Cullen.” Aiden winked and moved to rinse his own mug, then followed me out of the room. “I’m going to go check my charts, then hopefully head home. Are you off soon?”
“Yes, just going to check in on a couple of patients, then I'm heading home to bed. What time is the event starting tonight?”
“Nine, I think. Marco said he sent an email to everyone with the time.” He did, and I'd been avoiding reading them in my self-imposed kink exile.
“I'll go through my emails when I get home. Are they doing the usual canapes and drinks before?”
“Think so. Maybe aim to get to Crimson around seven. Are you sure you don't want a lift? I'll have my car.”
“I'll be fine. I never drink at the events, and I like to know I have my own way home in case of emergencies.”
“Alright then. I'll see you tonight.” I watched Aiden's lanky frame amble down the hall, and I turned towards the wards to check in, then home to my warm bed and Tennyson, my new kitten.