Chapter Ten
Okay, deep breaths, I had this.
I sure as hell did not, but I felt like if I kept saying it to myself, that counted. Perry was waiting downstairs looking hotter than any man had the right to look and had been completely unfazed by me nearly burning my kitchen down.
I may have lied to Perry a little. The oven was faulty, but that was not the reason I’d nearly burned down my kitchen. The reason was sitting on my bedroom floor.
I glanced down at my tea set and soft toys spread out on the floor along with the pretty tulle skirt Rhys called my princess skirt. A sense of guilt gnawed at my insides. I should have told Perry the truth.
While getting ready for my date tonight, my nerves had been high, and as I had texted Rhys for advice, I had gotten my tea set out. I’d set my timer so I wouldn’t forget I had the food cooking, but I mustn’t have heard the alarm until I smelled the burning chicken.
I decided that I should clean up before I do anything.
I wasn't expecting Perry to come upstairs, but just in case. Nothing would kill the mood faster than for him to see all my comfort toys spread out about my room. Not only my toys, but my clothes from work were flung on the floor, and plates that I hadn’t had a chance to take downstairs were sitting on my dresser.
I cast a glance at my trousers hanging from the back of my chair, then back to the mess on the floor. I could get it cleaned up and get dressed in under ten minutes.
“Okay, Mr Miggins.” I lifted my black cat plush toy up and placed him on the large chair that sat by the window. It was the spot all my stuffies went. I didn't have many, but the ones I had were special. Mr Miggins was a gift from Rhys, and he looked a lot like little Tennyson.
Most of my plush toys were put away, but my tea set and my skirt were still out.
I bent down and picked up the pastel pink material.
It felt so light and airy in my hands I kind of wished I could wear it instead of the stupid heavy trousers, but I was sure snooty Mrs Walsh, the librarian, would have things to say about that.
And besides, the skirt was very see-through.
What was fun and kinky in the club was not so much on the main street of Tewsbury.
“Cullen.” I spun when I heard Perry's voice. He stood in my doorway and the urge to hide my skirt behind my back was strong, but he’d already seen it.
“Um, sorry, I, um.” I swept my eyes around my room before looking back at Perry who just nodded, not looking cross at all.
“May I come in?” It was only then I noticed that Perry had not stepped inside my room. The fact he hadn’t encroached on my space without my permission made my chest feel warm in a nice way. He respected my space and that meant a lot to me.
I nodded for him to come in. Still clutching my skirt in my hands, I watched Perry step into my room.
This place was my sanctuary. Even though I had the whole cottage to myself, there was something special about my bedroom.
I was able to decorate it how I wanted without fear of strangers seeing my toys or my colouring books or the pile of comic books beside my bed.
Perry looked like he was going to sit in the chair until he noticed my stuffies.
I could feel my cheeks heating up, and I didn’t know where to look, so I decided to look down at my toes.
That was safe, and I wouldn’t see Perry's look of shock or displeasure when he saw my stuffies and the mess my room was in.
“Cullen, sweetheart, look at me please.” I looked up from my feet into Perry's kind dark eyes.
“Why are you hiding those beautiful eyes from me, Princess? Is that your pretty skirt?” Perry reached out and touched my skirt lightly before gently leading me over to my bed.
He moved my clothes and made a clear spot to sit.
I went to kneel, but Perry patted his lap and guided me until I was sitting across his lap.
It should have felt weird, instead, it felt wholly right; it felt like something just clicked into place the moment I settled into Perry’s lap.
His arm wound around my waist and its weight helped me focus. “I called for you, sweetheart, but you didn’t answer, so I came upstairs to look for you.” Perry's voice was soft yet firm, very much how I imagined a Daddy would sound.
I bit my lip and tried to look away, but his hand was on my cheek, gently dissuading me from looking away from him. “I got distracted. I wanted to clean up in here, then I started thinking about things, and I lost time. I wasn’t ready for you to see this side of me.”
“Stop chewing on your pretty lips and tell me why you’re so afraid of me seeing this side of you. You know, as a Dom, I’ve seen littles, middles, and everything in between. Why would you think this would be a problem?” His voice wasn’t angry, just questioning.
I dropped my eyes, focusing on his lips and not his blue eyes which seemed to know me too well and see all my insecurities and dreams.
“It’s been a problem before with another Dom I’ve played with.
If it's not my age, then it’s my attitude.
And then when they find out I’ve got little leanings they back away.
You want me to be honest with you?” I flicked my eyes up briefly, expecting to see something, but not the fondness I saw there.
It threw me. I didn't expect it. I didn’t expect the kindness that Perry had shown me the last few days.
“Always, Cullen.” Perry withdrew his arm from around me. I keenly missed the sense of comfort but before I could complain, he was grasping my hands again, offering to be my anchor through the emotional storm I was riding.
“Before last night, I had been considering leaving the club, closing off that part of my life for good.” It hurt to think of walking away from Crimson, away from the men who’d been part of my life for such a long time.
“And now?” There was a tone in Perry’s voice I couldn’t quite place.
“And now, I find myself thinking that I want to stay, that no matter how impossible it feels, I want to find my Dom, the man who can be my master and my Daddy.” I glanced again at Perry.
“I’m not trying to pressure you—shit, this is—shit.
” I buried my face in my hands, fully expecting Perry to politely excuse himself and leave.
“Princess.” Was all Perry said before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I could feel the warm puffs of his breath against my hair, and I pressed my nose against his throat, wanting to soak this moment in.
“You’re not the only one who’s been looking for something, for someone. Did I tell you I lost the ability to speak the day I met you?”
I gasped in shock. “I thought you were just being rude and ignoring me when I lost my temper at you for parking where you did.”
Perry huffed a soft laugh out against ear. “I saw this gorgeous silver fox come striding in all angry and handsome, and I lost my voice. I really was helping Mrs Ascot inside.”
I tipped my head back against Perry’s shoulder and laughed. “Did you really think I was gorgeous?”
“I still do. All I could think was I’d blown my chance of asking you on a date and then each time we met up, we just kept griping at each other, which honestly, I thought was how you flirted.”
“It probably was.” I chuckled. “At first, I was just so cross that you had parked across the no parking zone, but then I saw that you had helped Mrs Ascot inside after she had fallen, and I felt bad, but my stubbornness kicked in, as it so often does.” I reached out and patted Perry's broad chest, the muscles feeling ridiculously firm under my fingertips. I had the sudden urge to see him bare chested, but I kept those thoughts to myself for the moment. “For the record, I thought you were the most handsome man I’d ever seen. Ridiculously out of my league and too young to consider a guy like me.”
Perry chuckled behind me, hugging me harder. “So, we can now both admit we fancied each other even when we were carrying on like the old guys from Last of the Summer Wine.”
I looked up, I patted his chest again. “I always thought of myself more of a Hyacinth Bucket.”
We caught each other’s eyes and then collapsed back onto my bed in a heap of laughter.
“Cullen, do you have a dildo hiding in the bed?” Perry looked like he was trying very hard to keep a straight face.
“Oh, shit snacks. Just don’t lift the bed covers unless you want to come face to face with Mr Happy.” I rolled onto my side and tried to push Perry over so I could move Mr Happy, my bright neon green dildo.
“Move.” I huffed, pushing and huffing, but Perry just seemed to get heavier and smirked at me in an infuriatingly happy way. “Bad, Sir, you're squashing Mr Happy.”
“I'm having a moment right now knowing you call your dildo Mr Happy.” Perry's grin was contagious. I waggled my eyebrows and pushed him aside, managing to retrieve Mr Happy and sliding him into my bedside draw.
“Do we need to have a discussion about looking after our toys?” Perry's tone was light and conversational with a hint of that Daddy I was starting to enjoy.
“No, Sir, it's clean. I fell asleep before anything nefarious happened with it.” I flopped back onto Perry’s chest. It was comfortable, and he smelled good.
“How about I order us up a serve of fish and chips and get them to deliver while we wait? I can help you clean up in here, then we can have a proper talk.” Perry sat up, pulling me with him.
Ugh, cleaning. I wanted to flop back on the bed, but Perry stopped me. “Not yet, Princess.” I wanted to whine and moan, in fact, I did, but Perry just smiled at me with that stupid adorable smile and pointed to my mess.
Perry glanced around my room, and I cringed inwardly. I was a nearly fifty-year-old man who kept his bedroom like a hormonal fifteen-year-old.
“Okay, serious talk, and by that I want you to be honest with me. Do you find things like this get on top of you?”