Chapter Three #3
Ben pressed closer when someone appeared at the end of the hallway.
Taylor wanted to tell him that he had nothing to fear from Monica, but he didn’t.
Ben would realize that he was safe here eventually, and if he felt more comfortable not talking to anyone in the meantime, Taylor wasn’t going to force him.
He didn’t hesitate to nod at Monica, though, and she smiled at them.
He could see from her expression that she was curious about Ben, but she didn’t ask anything or stop walking.
What had Gal told the pride about Ben? Taylor was sure that he hadn’t mentioned that Ben was his mate.
Gal would never do that. He had to have given people an explanation, though.
It wasn’t every day that a panda shifter became a guest of the pride.
Taylor was surprised that no one had come knocking on his door to demand to talk to Ben, but maybe Gal had explained that Ben was traumatized and overwhelmed.
Everyone here understood. Their old alpha hadn’t been violent, but he’d been paranoid and an asshole.
They’d all been afraid of him and had walked around on eggshells so they wouldn’t provoke him into a reaction.
It had made life really hard for several years.
Taylor remembered always watching his back and being hypervigilant every time he left his bedroom.
He wondered if that was how Ben felt. Did he expect everyone they crossed paths with to jump him?
Maybe to yell at him or demand to know what he was doing there?
If that was the case, Taylor understood why he was clinging to him as hard as he was.
Even though he didn’t know Taylor, Taylor was his mate.
That was probably enough for him to feel comfortable with him and like he was safe.
He was safe. Taylor would make sure that no one bothered him, or worse. It didn’t matter how he felt about Ben being a man and his mate. Taylor was a protector, so he’d protect Ben.
It was a relief when they reached Jacob’s bedroom.
Taylor hadn’t made the bed since he’d slept there last night because he wanted to wash the sheets.
As soon as they were in the room, he started taking them off the bed.
He could feel Ben watching him, and he wasn’t surprised when a few minutes later, Ben stepped closer to help.
“You can dump everything in the corner,” Taylor said as he tilted his chin in that direction.
“I’ll take everything downstairs to the laundry room before we leave.
Jacob should be coming around soon, too.
” Taylor had texted him earlier, mostly to tell his best friend that he still had no idea what he wanted from Ben.
That wouldn’t stop him from being there for Ben, though.
He’d also texted Tony to tell him he was planning on getting back to work soon.
He didn’t think that staying here with Ben, hiding in his bedroom, would help either of them.
As much as he wanted to help Ben, coddling him wouldn’t do that.
Taylor had to show him that he was safe here, even when he wasn’t around.
Ben glanced around the room. “This is a nice room.”
“It is. Jacob wouldn’t be moving out if he hadn’t met Tony.”
“He wants to be with his mate.”
“He does.” Taylor wondered if Ben was talking about himself, too. He’d taken Taylor’s explanation for yesterday easily, but how did he really feel about it? It was hard to believe that he was fine with it and that he didn’t have questions. Maybe needing to feel safe was more important to him.
This was only the beginning. Taylor wanted Ben to feel safe so he could be honest about what was happening to him. Once they knew, they could take care of the danger, and Ben would be able to decide what to do next. He had to have a family out there, right?
Unless his family was who he was running from.
Taylor couldn’t assume. He didn’t know what was going on, and he wouldn’t know until Ben was comfortable enough to tell him.
As much as he wanted to go back to work, Taylor understood that this was more important.
He hoped that Ben would relax, but there was no way to know how long it would take.
Taylor didn’t want to be away from work for too long, but he could take a few more days to ensure that Ben was settling in okay.
He blinked at the pillow in his hands. Ben was already important to him, wasn’t he?
As confused as Taylor was about his sexuality and what having a male mate meant for him, part of him also didn’t care about any of that.
Ben was his mate. Taylor hadn’t chosen him, but there was no changing it.
Ben was Taylor’s to protect and care for.
What was between his legs didn’t matter, no matter how much it confused Taylor.
They worked in silence. Taylor was grateful. He needed a little time, and he suspected that Ben felt the same.
Everyone seemed to know to stay away, which was good. He noticed several people hanging around watching them when they stepped out of Jacob’s bedroom, but no one came close. Taylor noticed Ben was less tense by the time they were done in the laundry room.
Maybe they could do this, after all. Maybe Taylor could make Ben feel safe.
* * * *
BEN FOLLOWED TAYLOR down the stairs. He should probably be carrying boxes, too, but Taylor had waved him away when he’d tried. Ben was glad because he was pretty sure he’d topple over if he tried carrying anything too heavy.
Ben wasn’t surprised to see Jacob just outside the front door.
Taylor had mentioned that he’d be coming around this morning, and he’d told Ben that he’d smelled him in the hallway when they were on their way upstairs after putting the sheets in the washing machine.
He hadn’t been in his bedroom when they’d gotten back, and now Ben knew why.
Jacob turned, possibly to go back upstairs, but stopped when he saw Taylor and Ben. Ben reached out and grabbed the bottom of Taylor’s t-shirt, even though he didn’t think he was in danger. Jacob had been there when Taylor had found Ben, and yesterday when Ben had told Taylor that they were mates.
“Hey,” Taylor said as he put down the box he’d carried downstairs. There was a stack of them on the porch already. “I thought I’d help.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s going to be weird not having you around.”
They both looked sad. Since Taylor had explained that both he and Jacob had been born in this house and had never lived anywhere else, Ben could understand that.
“You know where to find me if you miss me,” Jacob told Taylor.
Ben was a little confused by that, but he didn’t ask. Not only did he not want to interrupt the conversation between Taylor and Jacob, but he also wasn’t sure it was any of his business.
“Yeah. At the station,” Taylor answered with a smile.
“And you’re always welcome at the house.” Jacob glanced at Ben. “Both of you.”
Ben shuffled his feet and hid behind Taylor.
He’d never liked being at the center of attention, but after everything, he liked it even less, even when it was only one man.
He wasn’t sure why Jacob was extending his offer to him, anyway.
It could only be because Ben was Taylor’s mate, but Jacob didn’t know Ben.
Maybe he’d hate him once he got to know him.
“We’ll talk at the station,” Taylor said. It sounded like a promise.
“We can talk whenever you want to talk. You have my number.”
Ben couldn’t see Taylor’s expression, but he could feel how tense he was. “Yeah, but I never needed to call you or leave the house if I wanted to talk to you.”
“You still have Dennis. He lives in the house. Drake is moving in, too, so you won’t be alone.”
“I know, but it’s not the same.”
Ben had never had this kind of friendship. Even though he had people he was close to, they were mostly family, and while he loved them, he didn’t think it was the same. He felt for Taylor, and he wished he could do something to help him.
“You’ll be fine,” Jacob promised, and Ben hoped he was right. He didn’t know Taylor well enough to help him yet, although he wanted to. They’d need time to be able to do that for each other, though.
“Don’t rush into anything,” Jacob continued. “Think about yourself first. You won’t be any good to anyone if you force yourself into something you’re not ready for.”
Ben pressed his lips together, but he was pretty sure that both Jacob and Taylor had heard him gasp.
Was Jacob talking about him and his bond with Taylor?
He’d made it sound like Taylor was forcing himself to spend time with Ben, which Ben hated.
He didn’t want Taylor to feel like he owed him something, even though he did, in a way.
They couldn’t ignore the fact that they were mates.
That didn’t mean Ben wanted Taylor to do things he didn’t want and wasn’t ready for.
The sound of a car approaching made all three of them turn. Ben recognized Tony, and he tried to curl himself tighter against Taylor’s back. Tony had been nice to him yesterday, but after what Jacob had just said, Ben wondered what both of them thought of him.
It wasn’t his fault that he was Taylor’s mate. He hadn’t asked for that. He hadn’t even known Taylor until a few days ago. He couldn’t say that he didn’t want Taylor, but he did wish that things were easier. Couldn’t he have a mate who wanted him? A mate who wasn’t in crisis because of him?
“I’ll miss you,” Taylor murmured.
Jacob grinned. “You should come with us. We’ll need help getting all these boxes inside the house.”
“Oh, would you look at the time? I really have to go. I’ll call you.”
“I thought you wanted to help!”
When he started moving, Ben moved with him. He was confused because Taylor had said they would help Jacob and Tony, but now, it sounded like they wouldn’t.
Ben wasn’t going to be left behind, so when Taylor rushed inside the house, cackling, he followed him. They didn’t go far, and when Taylor stopped just around the corner, Ben found the courage to ask, “I thought we were going to help them?”
Taylor was still smiling when he looked at Ben. Ben was hit by how beautiful he was—he’d known, of course, but he’d been distracted by everything happening. Now that Taylor was like this in front of him, he couldn’t ignore it or the fact that he wanted to lean in to kiss Taylor.
He couldn’t. Taylor wasn’t ready for that, and Ben wasn’t sure he ever would be. He hoped, of course, but there was no way for him to know the future.
Which made Ben wonder if there was one for them.
He wasn’t from Green Hill. He’d thought about going home to his family when he’d escaped, but he’d been afraid to lead Jimmy to them, and he still was.
Besides, Taylor wouldn’t leave Green Hill.
They hadn’t discussed it, but Ben could tell.
Taylor had everything here—a home, of course, but also friends, a family, and a job.
Ben didn’t have that. He had his parents, but considering how long he’d been gone, he doubted he still had a job or his apartment. He didn’t have much to go back to.
He wouldn’t mind staying in Green Hill, but that didn’t mean that Taylor would want him to. It was one more thing they needed to talk about, but Ben was terrified of that conversation. What if Taylor told him that their bond didn’t matter?
Ben didn’t think he’d do that. His mate was too sweet. That didn’t mean he wanted the bond, though, or that he’d ever want it.
“We’ll go,” Taylor said. “I’m just teasing Jacob.”
“Oh.”
Taylor frowned. Ben wanted to bring the smile back on his lips, but he didn’t know how or if he could. He didn’t know Taylor well enough. He hoped he would eventually.
“If that’s okay with you, of course,” Taylor said. “We can stay here and find something else to do.” He hesitated. “I’m going back to work tomorrow, so you probably need to be introduced to some of my friends and to know where everything is in the house.”
And there went all the calm Ben had managed to gather. “You’re leaving me?”
Taylor shook his head. “Not forever. It’s just a day at work. I could even ask Tony to come home early if you’re more comfortable with that. I do want to go, though. I understand that you’re scared and that you don’t know the people who live here, but you don’t really know me, either.”
“You’re my mate.”
Taylor grabbed both of Ben’s shoulders. “I’m not leaving you, Ben.
You’re safe here, I promise. But we can’t spend all our time together.
I have my friends and work, and you need someone outside of me, too.
I’m sure you’ll like my friends, especially Drake.
He’s moving in soon, so you’ll both be new to the pride.
That should give you something to talk about. ”
Ben wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. Everything Ben had said made sense. He wasn’t Ben’s babysitter. He couldn’t stay with him the whole day, every day. Ben was going to have to let go eventually, and he understood why Taylor wanted him to do it so soon. He wanted to go back to his normal life.
Ben wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to do that.
How could he go back to a normal life when his ex-boyfriend had locked him in his basement when Ben had broken up with him?
How could he stop looking over his shoulder and fearing that Jimmy had found him?
How could he live without fear when Jimmy was still out there?