Chapter Four #2
Ben wished he could know what would happen between them.
He was afraid to push, afraid that Taylor would leave him behind if he did, so he didn’t dare say anything.
He also felt like he couldn’t demand that Taylor tell him what he was planning for their future when he was unwilling to tell Taylor about his past.
He slowly put down the bowls he’d been picking up and sat back down on the small couch. He didn’t look at Taylor. He wasn’t sure he’d have the courage to say what was on his mind if he did. He wished he’d never have to think about Jimmy again, but he’d known he would have to eventually.
His chest felt tight. He reached up, pressing a hand above his heart. It was racing, almost as if Jimmy was in the room with him.
Ben looked around, even though he knew Jimmy wasn’t there. How was his ex supposed to find him? Ben hadn’t known where he was going when he’d run away from Jimmy’s house. He’d just run and hoped that someone would help him. Instead, he’d gotten lost in the woods until he’d found Green Hill.
Fate had brought him here. He was sure of that.
What other explanation could there be for his mate being here?
That didn’t mean that Fate was making things easy on Ben, though.
Did he really have to end up locked up in a basement before meeting his mate?
Couldn’t they have met at a grocery store or a restaurant?
“Hey,” Taylor said.
He was suddenly standing by the couch. Ben hadn’t heard him come closer.
That meant that Ben needed to be more careful. He had to be aware of his surroundings in case Jimmy found him. He couldn’t afford for Jimmy to have the upper hand again, not when he knew who Jimmy was now.
“You know I would never force you to talk about your past,” Taylor said gently as he sat next to Ben.
Ben had to resist the urge to lean into him. His entire being was screaming for him to do it, but what if Taylor rejected him? What if he pushed Ben away? Ben wasn’t sure his heart could withstand the pain that would come with that. He didn’t want to find out.
“But I really think that we need to know what’s going on,” Taylor continued. He had a hand on Ben’s back now and was stroking up and down, clearly trying to soothe Ben.
Ben wished it worked. He didn’t think anything could soothe him when he thought of Jimmy, though. There was too much pain and betrayal there.
Too much fear.
“Because he wants to protect the pride,” Ben murmured.
“And you. If someone is coming after you, I want to know who it is and why. It’s the only way for me to be able to protect you and make sure that person doesn’t hurt you again.”
“He didn’t really hurt me.” The words were out before Ben could think better of it. Thinking about it wouldn’t help. He’d been given a lot of time already, which he hadn’t expected.
Taylor sucked in a breath. “Who are we talking about?”
Ben was still hesitant. He felt like saying Jimmy’s name out loud would bring him here, even though it was ridiculous.
Jimmy was just a normal man. Hell, he wasn’t even a shifter.
No matter what he’d done, Ben needed to stop building him up in his mind.
Jimmy wasn’t the bogeyman. He was just a sad little man whose only way to keep Ben with him had been to lock him up in his basement.
But Ben wasn’t in that basement anymore.
He was with the pride, and they would protect him.
Taylor definitely would. They were mates, and no matter what that meant for their future, Ben was sure that Taylor wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt him.
If Taylor couldn’t help, the rest of the pride would.
At the very least, Jacob and Tony, Dennis and Drake, and the other people close to Taylor would.
They might not know that Ben was Taylor’s mate, but they could tell that Ben was important to Taylor.
They’d help him if he needed it. He wasn’t alone facing Jimmy anymore.
He had a whole bunch of people who would kick Jimmy’s ass if he even looked at Ben wrong.
“We’re talking about my ex-boyfriend,” Ben said. He was still afraid, but it was time to let go of that fear. He was allowing Jimmy to have too much power over him, even though he hadn’t seen him in weeks.
“He hurt you?”
“I don’t know if you can call what he did hurting me, but it wasn’t pleasant.”
“Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
Ben screwed his eyes shut. “Do I really have to?”
“Unfortunately, I think you do. I understand it’s unpleasant, but I need you to remember that you’re safe here. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, and I’m not the only one. People here care about you.”
“Because I’m your mate. They can see I’m important to you, even if you didn’t tell them that.”
“They don’t know you’re my mate, Ben. They’ll protect you even if they think that you aren’t anything to me. It’s the kind of people we are.” Taylor paused and wrinkled his nose. “Well, it’s the kind of people we are now. We wouldn’t have been able to help you before Gal became our alpha.”
“I can tell there’s a story there.” And Ben was eager to be distracted. Maybe he could convince Taylor to tell him about this instead of having him talk about Jimmy.
Taylor shook his head. “It’s not a happy story, even though it has a good ending. I’ll tell you all about it once you tell me what happened to you.”
Ben groaned. “I hate this.”
“I know, and I wish there was something else I could do to help you avoid it, but the only way for us to know is for you to tell us. You don’t have to go into details if you don’t feel comfortable with that, but we need a general idea of what we might be fighting.”
“I don’t think he’s coming for me.” Jimmy had no way to know where Ben was, and Ben wanted to keep things that way.
It was one of the reasons he was so hesitant to leave the pride house.
Here, he was safe because Jimmy couldn’t find him.
If he went into town, though, there was always a chance that Jimmy would be there.
“But you don’t know for sure. You don’t know if he’s just biding his time or planning something.
Maybe we’re worrying for nothing, but I also think that this isn’t a burden you should carry alone.
” Taylor hesitated. “I’m your mate, aren’t I?
I should help you shoulder all of this. I want to help you. ”
Ben glared at him. “Oh, now you’re my mate?”
Thankfully, Taylor didn’t take it badly.
He laughed and shook his head, then shot Ben a grin.
“I never denied that you were my mate. I was just confused and shocked, and some days, I still am.” His smile vanished.
“I want to help you, Ben. I know you worry about me and the pride, and I’m not going to say that whoever Jimmy is, he can’t hurt us, but that’s why you need to tell us about him.
That way, we’ll be prepared if he ever pops up in Green Hill.
Besides, wouldn’t you enjoy leaving the house for a bit sometimes?
We could go for a run, or you could visit Green Hill.
There isn’t much to see, but it’s more than you’ll see at the pride house.
You can have a full life here, but only if you don’t let him win. ”
That was what Ben was doing, wasn’t it? He was allowing Jimmy to win, even though Jimmy wasn’t even here.
* * * *
TAYLOR WASN’T SURE how else to convince Ben to spill the beans. He could see that Ben was afraid, and he understood why, but there wasn’t a hundred ways out of this mess. The only way to protect Ben was to know who was after him, which meant that Ben needed to talk.
Taylor didn’t even know Ben’s full name.
That meant it would be impossible for him to look into his mate and find out who this Jimmy was.
He could try, but what were the odds that he’d find something?
Besides, it wouldn’t feel right. This was Ben’s story to tell, no matter how reluctant he was to tell it.
So Taylor fell silent. He gave Ben the space and time to gather his thoughts.
He didn’t leave, and he continued stroking Ben’s back in a gesture he hoped was soothing.
He wanted Ben to believe that he was there for him and that he wouldn’t leave him.
They might not be together yet, but Taylor wasn’t an idiot.
They would be together eventually. It was the only way this could end. They were mates, and Taylor liked Ben. He wasn’t willing to take this bond away from either of them. That meant giving Ben and their bond the chance, no matter how hesitant he was.
He was relieved when Ben leaned slightly into him.
Now that Ben wasn’t clinging to Taylor every second of the day, they weren’t as touchy as they’d been before.
Taylor was surprised to realize he kind of missed it.
He wanted more from Ben. He wanted to pull Ben into his arms and kiss the top of his head.
He wanted them to cuddle in front of a movie or in bed.
Maybe he wasn’t as confused as he thought about his sexuality and what being Ben’s mate meant, after all.
“Jimmy was my boyfriend,” Ben murmured.
Taylor had to strain his ears to hear what his mate was saying, but he didn’t ask Ben to speak louder. If this was what Ben was comfortable with, it was what Taylor wanted him to have.
“There was nothing odd about him or our relationship,” Ben continued. “We met at a bar. It wasn’t really my thing, but my friends insisted we go out, and I said yes.” He chuckled. “Even though I really wanted to stay home and watch TV. That’s the kind of person I am.”
“You’re a homebody.”
“I guess I am. I just think that if I’m comfortable at home, why would I want to be uncomfortable outside of it?
” He shook his head. It caused his hair to brush against Taylor’s cheek, and Taylor stopped resisting the urge to keep a slight distance between them.
He pressed his cheek against Ben’s head, smiling when he felt his mate relax a little more.
Ben smelled of Taylor’s shampoo, and it felt right.