Chapter 14
TATE
On the morning of our last full day together, I watched Blair sleep as I quietly dreaded tomorrow.
At the same time, I also wanted to get it over with.
If there were a way to make time stand still, though, I would’ve frozen right here in this place and spent each and every day living in the moment with this beautiful girl.
What a dream that would be. But alas, she needed to live her life.
That meant preventing her from getting involved with a man who’d screwed up every important personal relationship he’d ever had.
Her eyes fluttered open. “Whatcha doing?” she asked, her voice groggy.
“Watching you sleep while I still can.”
Both our flights left early in the morning tomorrow, so after today, there wouldn’t be much time to enjoy anything. Today and tonight would be like one long goodbye. The mere thought made my chest feel hollow.
The sun peeked through the curtains, an invitation to step outside into the world, but all I wanted was to stay in this bed with Blair. And it wasn’t only about the sex. That realization was as enlightening as it was unsettling.
She ran her finger along my chest. “If we were a movie, what kind would we be? A comedy? A drama?”
I scratched my chin. “I think we’re neither.
We’re more like…a really good documentary.
Because nothing about this experience has been anything less than real for me, an authentic connection.
And while there have been funny moments—mostly thanks to you—comedy would be too simple to represent what this feels like.
It also wouldn’t be a sad story, despite what we’ll inevitably experience tomorrow.
So, I think documentary is the closest match, a series of moments where two humans forged a connection that neither one will ever forget. ”
“That’s beautiful,” she whispered.
“You’re beautiful.” I smiled. “In fact, I hope it doesn’t freak you out, but I want to take some photos of you before we leave.”
She flashed a mischievous grin. “Naked ones?”
“Believe it or not, no. I just don’t ever want to forget you.” I shook my head. “I mean, I’ll never forget you, but I don’t want my memory of you to fade at all. I have a feeling I’m gonna get home and wonder if this was all a dream. I want to be able to look at the photos and smile when I’m down.”
“Well, then you have to let me do the same. And of course, we’ll have to take some together.”
“Maybe we can get that angry waitress to be the photographer.” I winked.
She laughed. “Why not ask? We’ve already pissed her off...”
Once we finally managed to get out of bed and downstairs, Blair and I ate the quickest breakfast we could, not wanting to waste time. We’d have plenty of time to eat after we left each other.
After breakfast, we took a walk on the beach hand in hand, reminiscing about our short trip together as if it had been a lifetime—everything from the first meeting at the kiddie pool to the helmet diving and massage, to the moment I said fuck it and we never looked back.
Eventually we found a shady spot under a tree. Blair took an envelope out of her bag and handed it to me.
My eyes widened. “What’s this?”
“It’s a letter I wrote you. I don’t want you to read it until we leave each other, though.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You’re making me emotional, and I haven’t even read it.”
“I needed to get some things off my chest that I knew I wouldn’t be able to articulate tomorrow morning in the rush of having to leave.”
It made me feel horrible that she’d done something like this, and I hadn’t written anything.
As if she’d read my mind, she said, “Don’t feel like you need to do the same. Truly. It’s just something I wanted to do.”
I exhaled. “Honestly, I wish I could articulate everything, but I’m not very good at writing.
It would take me all day to organize what I’m feeling into words, and I don’t want to waste our time together trying to get my brain to work.
I’d prefer to be with you.” I looked down at the envelope again.
“I don’t understand, though. When did you write this? We’ve been together the entire time.”
“It’s not long. I put it together while you were sleeping last night. I had a little insomnia.”
“I had no idea you were awake in the middle of the night.”
“It was just an hour. After I wrote it, I was able to go back to sleep. I think all of these emotions had been nagging me. Once I got them out, I felt better.”
I shook my head. There was so much I wanted to say to her before we parted. Maybe I could figure out a way to write it down. Or even better, maybe I could convince her to give me her contact information, though she’d still said she preferred that we not exchange last names.
“Should we take the photos now?” I asked.
She stood and wiped some dirt off her skirt. “Sure.”
We picked a spot under some palm trees. The sun wasn’t too bright—it was perfect.
Blair leaned against the tree as her hair blew around in the gentle breeze.
I was sure there was no more beautiful woman in the entire world.
I wondered if I’d always believe that or if my opinion was skewed because of the massive fog of lust and admiration currently engulfing me.
Maybe there was a stronger word to describe what I was feeling, but I wasn’t willing to let my mind go there.
After taking several photos of her with my phone, I switched positions with her so she could take photos of me.
I leaned against the same tree, making various flirtatious faces at her, some downright silly.
“Be serious for a minute, Tate.”
I forced my mouth into a more serious expression. That meant letting reality seep in, which was why I’d been avoiding it.
“Now look at me like you’re hiding a secret,” she said.
I chuckled and did my best to accommodate her request. I couldn’t help but think of the secret I was hiding.
If she only knew it was taking everything in me not to say fuck it again and ask her to run away with me.
If she only knew how often that crazy idea had been at the tip of my tongue.
I doubted she understood how weak I was when it came to her.
I’d put up a strong front, explaining all the reasons why continuing this beyond the resort was a bad idea.
But the truth? I was hanging on by a thread.
“I’m gonna ask you a question you’ve asked me before,” she said, putting down the phone. “Where did you go?”
Shit.
“It’s just a tough day,” I admitted. “Well…tomorrow is gonna be tougher.”
Blair walked over and wrapped her arms around my neck.
I bent to kiss her, then lifted her and spun around.
The sun cast a beautiful glow through her blonde hair.
Every time I thought I wanted to freeze a particular moment in time, she gave me another that beat the last one.
Holding her like this right now had to be the pinnacle.
When the feeling became too strong, I slid her to the ground. “I’ve had enough time outside. How about you?”
“It’s definitely time for you to go inside again.” She winked.
I’d miss her little innuendos. I’d miss everything. If I could’ve carried her back to the room without making a spectacle, I would’ve. That was the kind of caveman I felt like right now.
Back in the room, I couldn’t get her sundress off fast enough. Looking at her out at the beach had made me ravenous. What the fuck was I supposed to do tomorrow when I could never touch her again? Maybe taking those photos had been a bad idea. They’d only serve to torture me.
She pressed her body against mine, wearing her bra and panties. “I don’t want to go anywhere else today, Tate. I want to spend the rest of the day and night here.”
“Done,” I murmured over her lips. She fumbled with my belt buckle as I removed her bra. Eager to be inside of her, I nearly forgot to grab a condom before I backtracked and rushed over to the end table.
“Can I put it on you?” she asked.
“Sure.” I handed her the packet.
Blair took out the rubber and smoothed it over my cock before she bent to take me down her throat for a few seconds. Apparently, that was just a tease because before I could blink, she was back on the bed, spread eagle, inviting me to enter her.
I crawled over her before not so gently thrusting deep inside. I closed my eyes at the pleasure. “How could you be so wet and so tight at the same time?”
“Because you’re so damn big…” She chuckled. “You’re really perfect, Tate.”
My tongue grazed her neck as I moved in and out of her. “I’ve never met anyone as perfect as you, Blair.”
“Fuck me like you’ve never fucked anyone before,” she begged.
“I’ve never felt like this with anyone,” I told her. “Never felt more alive.”
She might’ve thought fucking her like I’d never fucked anyone meant going harder and faster, but what I wanted right now was to go slow and steady, to savor the feeling of being one with her.
I took her hand in mine, locking our fingers together. I fucked her slow and deep, squeezing her hand as I sucked on her neck.
This felt different from all the other times we’d had sex—more intimate. More like making love. I kissed up her neck to her mouth, devouring her lips as we fell into a slow and intense rhythm.
At one point, I pulled almost all the way out and looked into her eyes before thrusting deep into her again. She gasped, never taking her eyes off me.
“You look so damn beautiful with me inside of you,” I whispered.
“You make me feel beautiful.”
I hoped she meant that. I wanted her to walk away from this experience with nothing but positive memories. In the end, what we remember most about people is how they make us feel. Even when the memories of a face or conversations fade, we always remember when someone made us feel amazing.
She felt impossibly tight around me, though I wondered if she was tense about our impending departure. Whatever the reason, I wasn’t going to last. I tightened my abs to stave off my orgasm until I sensed she was close.
“Tate…” she moaned.
I fucking loved when she said my name.
“Come, baby. It’s okay.”
Her muscles pulsed around me as I thrust into her a final time. We’d had several orgasms together on this trip, but for me, this one was the most intense. I came in what seemed like an endless flow, and I never wanted to pull out of her—ever.
But after a minute, I eased out and went to discard the condom, returning to the warmth of the bed.
“Let’s not sleep tonight,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.
I nodded. “You read my mind.”