Chapter 19
BLAIR
When I spotted Tate walking toward me, I nearly had a heart attack. It wasn’t like I could turn around now.
He looked so damn gorgeous in his tux. My heart ached. Everything ached with the need to touch him, despite what I now knew to be true: I would never be able to touch him again.
“Blair...” he murmured before looking over his shoulder.
I shook my head, feeling tears in my eyes. “I don’t understand, Tate.”
“I don’t either, but we need to talk about how we’re gonna handle this.”
Looking beyond his broad shoulders, I whispered, “Well, we can’t do that here.”
“Are you staying at the hotel tonight?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“I’ll come to you later…after the wedding is over.”
A chill ran down my spine. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. What if someone sees us together?”
“I’ll be careful,” he said. “We have to risk it, because we need to talk.”
I knew that was true. There was so much I needed to say to him. So many questions. “Okay.” I licked my lips. “Yeah.”
“What room are you in?”
I closed my eyes trying to remember. “One thirty-five.”
“Okay.” He exhaled. “I’ll come see you later.”
“All right.”
Tate looked over his shoulder one last time before he disappeared into the bathroom.
I felt an odd thrill at the prospect of him coming to my room later, though any chance of us being together again had died the moment I’d realized he was Taylor’s father.
I needed to remind myself of that, because for a moment I’d gotten lost in the idea of My Tate.
My Tate no longer existed. My Tate was an illusion, because he’d been Taylor’s father the entire time.
Theodore. Taylor’s fucking father! Why had he given me a fake name?
That didn’t make any sense considering how much value he’d placed on knowing my real name.
Tate had told me he wasn’t a liar. I’d even told Taylor about him in the years since, referring to him as Tate.
Taylor had never seemed to suspect a thing.
Returning to my assigned table, I sat in a daze, unable to think about anything but meeting Tate later.
A voice interrupted my thoughts. “Blair?”
I turned to find a guy around my age smiling at me. “I’m Adam.”
This was the person Taylor wanted to set me up with. I’d been hiding in the bathroom since arriving here, so I hadn’t seen him. This poor guy had no clue he’d be getting the absolute worst of me tonight.
“Yes.” I cleared my throat. “Hi.” I took his offered hand. “Very nice to meet you.”
So not in the mood for this right now.
“I work with Taylor.”
“Yes.” I forced a smile. “He mentioned that we’d be sitting together.”
“You guys go way back, right?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “Taylor and I were camp counselors together for many years, and we’ve remained close.”
“That’s so cool. He’s such an awesome guy. I’m very happy for him and Juliana.”
“Yeah. Me too. They’re perfect together.”
An awkward silence filled the space between us as I gulped down all of my water in about ten seconds. Maybe I should just leave. I could go to my room now. Taylor might not even notice.
Suddenly the thought of having to make small talk with this poor guy while freaking out about Tate made me ill.
“Excuse me.” I stood and left the table.
That was most definitely rude, but I needed some air before I passed out.
Escaping out a side door to a veranda that overlooked Boston in the distance, I took a deep breath.
Truths about this situation continued to bombard me, like the fact that the woman I’d spotted earlier standing next to Taylor’s father was actually Tate’s girlfriend.
Taylor had said his dad had just started dating someone.
So it was new. Jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks.
But I couldn’t look at this situation like that.
I had to see him as Taylor’s father now, not Tate.
I had to get myself to understand that this wasn’t a reunion.
It was something entirely different, something he and I had to figure out how to handle.
“Blair?”
I turned to find Taylor standing at the entry to the veranda.
“Hey!” I feigned my best smile as my heart accelerated.
He tilted his head. “What are you doing out here?”
I placed my hand on my stomach. “I started to feel a little queasy, believe it or not. Just wanted to get some air.”
“Shit. Can I get you some water or anything?”
“No.” I waved him off. “Please go enjoy your wedding. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be absolutely fine after a few minutes.”
I didn’t like the idea of Taylor paying any attention to my behavior tonight, because if he looked closely, he’d figure out that something was very wrong.
“You sure I can’t get you anything?”
I shook my head. “No, but how did you know I was out here? You’re supposed to be focused on your reception.”
“I went over to your table to say hello, and Adam told me you’d left suddenly and gone outside. He thought maybe I’d want to check on you. Said you didn’t seem right.”
He’s correct about that.
“I see.” I exhaled. “Well, I’m fine. Truly. Just needed some air.”
“Okay. If you say so. You might want to come inside, though, because they’re serving dinner, and it’ll get cold.”
Eating was the last thing I felt like doing right now. “Right.” I nodded. “I’ll come inside in a sec. Don’t worry about me. Please enjoy your night.”
“Okay.” He waved before heading back inside.
Relief washed over me. It was short-lived, however, once I reentered the venue and locked eyes with Tate. He looked just as preoccupied as I felt. I realized that he, too, had probably seen me leave to come outside. But unlike Taylor, Tate knew exactly why I’d needed air.
I forced my eyes away from him. It was hard to look at him and hard not to look at him.
Hard to realize the pain in his eyes matched my own.
Hard to fathom where we were supposed to go from here.
I didn’t know what he knew about me now.
Had Taylor spoken about me, even if Tate hadn’t made the connection?
How was I possibly going to handle the weeks to come?
But I had no option to sit this out. I owed Taylor the decency to be present at his wedding. He deserved a beautiful evening without having to worry about me and my “illness.”
After returning to my table, I made small talk with Adam, though he had to be getting the vibe that I wasn’t interested based on my demeanor.
Maybe in another life, a blind date with this guy might’ve worked.
He was cute and seemed nice. But he’d caught me at the worst possible time, so there was just no chance for us.
Tate’s presence across the room continued to consume me.
And when I caught him looking my direction, I had to stop myself from going to him.
Even worse was when his date pulled him by the arm onto the dance floor for a slow song.
Another woman’s hands on his back as they swayed reminded me of what it felt like to touch him.
She looked up at him with the same adoration I remembered feeling.
And when he looked over at me as they danced, I was certain he could see the sadness written all over my face.
But there were sparks of goodness as well.
I smiled, too, as I noticed Taylor smiling over at Tate.
For the first time in his life, Taylor and his father had developed a real relationship.
From Taylor’s perspective, all must have seemed right in the world tonight with both of his parents here and getting along.
And then I noticed Adam dancing with one of the bridesmaids.
Good. At least I hadn’t ruined his night, too.
When the waitstaff began bringing out dessert, I wondered if I’d put in enough time here to make a graceful exit. I’d endured three-quarters of a wedding, so surely it was okay to leave without seeming disrespectful.
I just needed to do it.
Taylor was talking with someone when I came to stand next to him.
“Excuse me,” he said to the guy when he noticed me. He turned in my direction. “Are you feeling better?”
I nodded. “I am, but I think I need to go upstairs and rest. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. Did you at least eat?”
“I did.” I managed a smile. “The food was delicious.” Well, what I tasted of it.
“Will you be at the brunch tomorrow morning?”
The brunch. I’d nearly forgotten. Accepting that invitation had been a no-brainer before all of this happened. Now it would be another tense event to endure while trying not to seem like a crazy person.
“I’m gonna try,” I told him. “Depends on how I’m feeling in the morning, okay?”
He squeezed my arm. “No pressure. But you should come down and at least make a plate to bring back to your room if you’re still feeling crummy.”
“Okay.” I smiled before reaching out to hug him. “I’m not sure where Juliana is, but please tell her I said goodnight. I’m so happy for you, my friend. This wedding was truly a dream.”
“Thank you for being here, Blair. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” I smiled, suddenly drowning in guilt. Never would I have knowingly betrayed my friend.
After saying goodbye, I made my way out of the reception hall. I could finally breathe a little.
But back in my room, the countdown began. When would Tate come to see me tonight? I wished I knew. As it was, I’d spend the remainder of the evening on pins and needles, waiting for a knock on the door.
When I couldn’t take the waiting, I decided to take a shower.
I needed to relax. I let the warm water rain down on me, still unsure about how much I was going to reveal to Tate.
More than anything, I wanted to understand why and how this had happened.
Why had he given me a fake name? Was anything real about our time together?
One thing I knew for certain: he’d had no idea I was his son’s friend at the resort.
Like me, Tate would never have knowingly betrayed Taylor.
My tears mixed with the water as the enormity of this night sank in. Perhaps I could get all the emotion out now, rather than in front of Tate.
After my shower, I dressed in what I planned to wear to bed: a T-shirt and soft cotton shorts. There was no reason to try to impress Tate anymore. My wet hair fell down my back, making a damp spot on my shirt.
I’d just sat back down on the bed when a knock on the door scared the bejeezus out of me.