Chapter 35
BLAIR
A week after the accident, things had almost returned to normal, at least for Nicholas.
As for everything else? Well, it was as bad as we’d imagined.
Taylor refused to talk to me when I’d called him the day after the hospital encounter.
He’d answered the phone, but said he wasn’t ready yet to have what he understood was a necessary conversation.
He apologized for not being stronger and asked me to tell Tate not to call him, either.
He said he’d reach out to us when he was ready to talk.
So, we had no choice but to give him time and hope he’d eventually be ready to discuss and accept the situation.
Tate said he’d initially felt relief that Taylor knew, but with each day that passed when Taylor didn’t call, he fell deeper into sadness.
Case in point, after Nicholas went to sleep this evening, I found Tate sitting on the couch, looking at baby photos of Taylor on his phone.
Tate had been sleeping over almost every night.
“Hey,” I said, taking a seat next to him. “I was wondering where you went.”
“Hey, beautiful…” He looked up briefly, then returned his gaze to the images of Taylor.
“I’ve been trying for so long to get him to love me.
But I think the best I can hope for is that he doesn’t hate me.
It’s amazing what you’ll settle for when you’re desperate.
” Tate put his phone aside. “Do you think I should try to call him?”
It pained me, but I shook my head. “He made it clear that he wants time. I think we should give him what he’s asked for and not push it.”
Tate sighed. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I rubbed his arm. “You were thinking that you love your son, and you can’t stand the limbo. You want to make things better. I get it.”
He reached for my hand. “Well, if all else fails, I still have you and Nicholas. I’m thankful for that every day.”
Tate and I still hadn’t explained things to Nicholas, and it seemed unlikely that he’d processed anything we said around him in the hospital. There was really nothing stopping us anymore, though…
“I was thinking,” I told Tate. “Maybe we should tell Nicholas who you are now that he’s recovered from the accident.”
A glimmer of hope appeared in his eyes. “You think he’s ready?”
“I do.”
He nodded. “All right. If it’s okay with you, though, I want to play it by ear. I don’t want to spring it on him at some specific time we pick. I’d like to do it spontaneously, when it feels right, depending on his mood.”
“Okay. That makes sense.”
He closed his eyes and bent his head back.
I wanted so badly to ease the tension in his body. “Sit down on the ground,” I demanded.
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
Tate moved off the couch to the carpet. I sat behind him on the couch, placing a leg on either side of him.
“What are you doing, baby?” The low rumble of his laughter vibrated against my hands as I rubbed the back of his neck.
“I’m giving you a massage.”
“I thought I was supposed to be giving you a break.”
“I told you, I don’t want a break. I’ve spent the last four years longing for you. What I want is to enjoy being together now.” I dug my fingers deeper into his muscles. “Now take a deep breath and relax.”
“You’re a dream come true,” he hissed. “The problem is, when you touch me like this, you don’t just make me relaxed. I want to bury myself inside you.”
I felt the muscles between my legs tighten. “It’s good we want the same things.”
He groaned under his breath. As I massaged his shoulders, I bent to kiss the top of his head.
“I don’t deserve you, Blair,” he said.
“Yes, you do.”
He sighed deeply, his tension seeming to dissipate a bit. “You’re the best thing to ever happen to me. As tough as this is, I’m lucky to have you by my side.”
I circled my palms slowly over his upper back.
“No matter what Taylor thinks right now, I know the truth. You’re a good man, Tate Delaney.
I’ll die on that hill. You’ve learned from your mistakes, and you want nothing more than to show love to the people you care about.
Loving each other freely and naturally will never be a sin or something to regret.
I’m trying to be hopeful that Taylor will come around.
But if for any reason he doesn’t, just know that I see you.
And I’m so happy you’re Nicholas’s dad.” I stopped massaging for a moment.
“Sometimes I still wake up in the morning feeling like I’ve lost you.
For a split second, I think it’s four years ago.
For so long, that feeling of dread was the first thing to hit me when I opened my eyes.
But now? Euphoria sets in when I realize the truth. ”
He reached his hand back and placed it over mine. “I love you so much, Blair.”
I moved around from behind and straddled him on the ground. “I love you, too.” I kissed him, feeling his erection growing between my legs.
“I’m so glad I’m your baby daddy,” he said over my lips.
“There’s a funny story I never told you…” I snickered.
He looked up and grinned. “What?”
“So, you remember my ex, Daniel, the one who’d left me heartbroken when we met?”
“Of course. I’ll never forget that jerk.”
“Well, he actually came back to ask me for a second chance.”
Tate went rigid. “Really…”
“He called one night and asked if he could come by and speak to me.”
His eyes widened. “You let him come over?”
I nodded.
Tate’s eyes narrowed. “What happened?”
I laughed just thinking about it. “I gleefully opened the door—with my huge, eight-months-pregnant belly.”
His mouth dropped. “No fucking way.”
“Yup. That’s why I let him come by. I knew it would shock the crap out of him. I enjoyed every second of the look on his face.”
“Holy crap. What did you tell him?”
“Oh, I told him the absolute truth: that I’d met an older man on vacation who’d knocked me up.”
“He must’ve shit a brick.”
“Looked like he might have.” I chuckled.
“What happened after that?”
“He left soon after, and I never saw him again.” I shrugged. “But I couldn’t have orchestrated a better way of getting back at him.”
Tate cackled. “You’re welcome.”