Chapter 37
BLAIR
Tate had just left the house for a worksite one morning when there was a knock at the door.
Assuming he’d returned because he’d left something behind, I opened it, shaking my head. “I knew you’d forget something. I—”
But it wasn’t Tate. My heart clenched. “Taylor…”
He slipped his hands into his pockets and murmured, “Hey.”
I stepped aside. “Come in.”
He wiped his shoes on the mat. “Thank you.”
The comfort he’d once had when he stopped by to visit was nowhere to be found. This Taylor was cautious and wary.
“He’s not here,” I told him, assuming he’d meant to catch Tate before he left for work.
“I know. I waited for him to leave so I could talk to you alone. That’s what I can handle right now.”
“Okay.” I smiled sympathetically. “Can I make you a coffee? I have peppermint creamer. I know you like that.”
“That would be amazing.” He took a seat on the couch. “Thank you.”
“Be right back.”
As I went to the kitchen and prepared his coffee, I agonized over the situation. Tate wanted so badly for Taylor to reach out. And now he had, but specifically avoiding him. Agh. At least this was a small step in the right direction.
I returned to the living room and handed him a steaming cup of coffee. I’d added a little whipped cream, too.
“This is much needed. Thank you.” He took a sip, then set the cup on the coffee table. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get in touch.”
I sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Please. There’s no need for you to apologize. I’m just happy you’re here.”
“I needed some time before I was able to talk about it.”
I had to stop myself from launching into a monologue.
There was much I wanted to say, but I tried to prioritize.
“You know I never meant to hurt you, right? I had no idea he was your father when I met him, and from the moment I found out the truth at your wedding, I’d been trying to protect you and determine the best time to tell you.
I’m so sorry you found out the way you did. I—”
“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, Blair.” He shook his head. “I wish I could just be happy for you. You deserve to enjoy your life without worrying about my reaction to anything.”
“I am happy. Truly. I’ve never enjoyed my life more. I know that might be hard to hear because it’s related to your father. But it’s the truth.”
He swallowed and looked around. “Where’s Nicholas?”
“He’s sleeping. You want me to wake him up?”
Taylor shook his head. “No, of course not.”
“Okay.” I rubbed my palms on my thighs. “How’s Juliana?”
“She’s good. She’s been dealing with my mental bullshit. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“I’m happy you found her.”
He nodded and looked at the floor.
“Your dad’s been beating himself up about hurting you,” I finally said. “I know you’re not ready to talk to him, but I need you to know that more than anything, he’s concerned for you. He hasn’t been the same since you found out.”
Taylor rubbed his temples. “I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m so hurt by this. I get that neither of you knew the other’s connection to me. I believe that you wouldn’t have knowingly hurt me. But I can’t wrap my head around him taking advantage of you.”
I shook my head. “I’m gonna be very blunt here…
For most of our time together at the resort, he did everything he could to resist my advances.
There was no ‘taking advantage’ of anyone.
I explained that to you before, when neither of us realized who he was.
The situation doesn’t change because the man I met and fell in love with turned out to be your father. ”
He nodded and looked out the window for a moment, seeming to contemplate my words.
“Look, Taylor, I know I was young, and maybe somewhat na?ve. But I’ve grown up a lot since then.
I have the benefit of hindsight. And there’s still nothing I would change about the situation, aside from you being hurt.
I love Tate even more now than I did then.
And my dream is that someday you’ll accept that and be happy for us. ”
He turned to me. “I want to get there. Even if I have issues with my dad, I at least owe you that acceptance. I promise I’ll try.” He shook his head. “I’m just not fully there yet.”
“That’s okay. As long as you’re open to understanding us. I don’t expect a miracle right away.” I sighed. “I’ve missed you.”
He smiled sadly. “Same.”
“This awkwardness between us feels…weird.” I blew a breath up into my hair. “I just want to like…shake you or something.” I smiled.
He chuckled, a hint of sadness still apparent.
Nicholas’s bedroom door opened and he wobbled out, rubbing his eyes. “Uncle Taylor!”
“Hey, buddy.” Taylor opened his arms as Nicholas walked over.
As Taylor wrapped his arms around my son, he closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them, I could see that they were red.
“I missed you,” he told Nicholas.
“Did you go back to Aruba?” my son asked.
“No, bud. I just…haven’t been able to come by for a while. But I didn’t want to go any longer without seeing you.”
“Did you bring me a present?”
“Actually, I did.” Taylor reached into his pocket and pulled out a mini red truck.
Nicholas’s face lit up. “A truck!”
“Did you know I saved every single one of the toy cars from when I was almost as young as you? This truck is one of a kind. You can’t find it anymore. I know how much you love trucks.”
Nicholas stared down at it as Taylor wiped his eyes.
I felt my own eyes watering. “What do you say, Nicholas?”
“Thank you, Uncle Taylor.”
“You’re welcome, buddy.”
“That was a really cool gift,” I told him after Nicholas ran off to play with the new toy. “I know how important your old Hot Wheels collection is.”
“Yeah, well, time to pass the torch.”
That warmed my heart. As an only child, I loved that Nicholas had a big brother. “Thank you for being so sweet to him.”
“Well, I have even more reason to bond with him now, don’t I?”
I lowered my voice. “We haven’t told him about you being Tate’s son, too. We wanted to make sure you were ready.”
He nodded. “I do want him to know.” Taylor thought for a moment. “He understands now that my father is his dad?”
“We explained it only recently. We weren’t sure what he remembered from the hospital. They’ve gotten close. Especially after the accident, Tate just needed him to know.”
Taylor looked down into his mug. “I’m happy that Nicholas will have what I didn’t. He doesn’t deserve anything less.” He sighed. “It might not have seemed like it at first, but I’m happy he found his dad.”
I smiled, though I still felt sad. “Your friendship has meant so much to me over the years. I hate to see you unhappy because of my decisions.”
He stood and walked his mug into the kitchen as I followed. “It’s gonna be okay. I just need more time.”
“Will we ever have the same friendship again?”
“I don’t know if it will be exactly the same. That just comes with the territory. But you haven’t lost me as a friend. And you never will.”
I nodded. “Well, if I haven’t lost you as a friend, Tate shouldn’t lose you as a son. He’s no more guilty than I am.”
Taylor exhaled. “I get that on a logical level. Just…be patient with me. I’m trying. Even if I haven’t been doing the work in front of you, I’m trying.”
“That’s fair.” I smiled sadly.
He popped back in to say goodbye to Nicholas and then headed for the door.
“Can I tell Tate you stopped by?”
Taylor opened the door and stood in the doorway. “Yeah. You can.”
“Anything else you want me to relay to him?”
Taylor shook his head. “No.”
“Okay,” I sighed.
He took a few steps down the sidewalk, then stopped. After a moment, Taylor turned around. “Actually… Tell him he’s gonna be a grandfather.”