Chapter 17 Rose
Watching Wes and Erick pull out of the car lot, I turn towards Elle. “That was weird. Why did Erick have to run off so fast? I thought we were grabbing lunch, too?” I start dragging my kayak out of the water and up onto the pebbled beach before she answers. I turn to ask her for some more help when I see her arms are crossed. She does not look happy with me.
“I’m sorry we weren’t able to meet up to kayak, did you two even get into the water? Or what happened? You look nice and dry.”
She stares at me. I’ve never seen her like this before. I wave my hands in front of her face.
“Hellooo! Elle? What is it?” Crossing the distance between us, I rub my hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay, did something happen with Erick?”
“YES! Something happened, except not to me,” she says loudly, eyeing me up and down, her eyebrows raised.
“Oh wow, what happened?” I play dumb. Why is she so angry?
“You tell me, Rose.”
“Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Elle shoots me an annoyed look. “So that’s how you’re going to play this? We all know you’ve been carrying a candle for Wes since he left, and now you’re going to show up here after some alone time with him, with your leggings ripped, leaves in your hair, your ponytail all messed up, and try to tell me that nothing happened?” Her eyes narrow and I decide to give in.
I raise my hands in protest. “Okay, we messed around a little bit. We had a nice time. He’s still a good kisser. That’s all.” I lower my hands as she lets out a long sigh.
“But that isn’t all Rose, it can’t be.” Her eyes shine and her tone softens. I see the start of a tear glisten at the corner of her eye. “With Wes it’s never going to be just messing around for you. I know it. You said yourself the other night that you didn’t want a repeat of before.”
“I know. I don’t think that’s what this is. I’m not sure what it is to be honest. Maybe I’m just getting it out of my system, you know? Just figuring things out and healing from what happened before. Wait, I’m confused, why did you invite him if you felt this way?”
She moves to my side, and now it’s her turn to put a hand across my shoulders.
“I just love you, Rose, and don’t want to see you hurt like that again. I thought it would be good for you to see him again, and Erick kind of put me up to it before I knew what I had agreed to. Then I freaked out after leaving you alone with him. You know how the girls and I worry. We just want you to be happy, and it seems like you’ve been happy, right?”
“Oh honey, of course I’m happy. I love my life here and all of our friends, and our town. I wouldn’t do anything that would ever mess that up—no matter who I fool around with in the woods . . . in the rain . . . Oh god, you can’t tell Chloe about this.” My eyes widen in sudden horror at the thought of our honorary mom of the group finding out about this.
“That’s what I’m saying!” Elle lets out a deep laugh. I reach over and blanket her in a hug.
“Come here. Thank you for worrying about me, but you don’t have to. I’m a big girl and can figure this out without it affecting me as badly as it did before. I promise.”
“Well, I’m here you know—we can talk. And Chloe is going to find out either way, you know that.”
“Yeah, I know, the whole town probably already knows . . .”
“Speaking of the whole town, are you still coming Thursday to help set up for the Sprouts fundraiser? I know Kate was asking if we could come.” Elle works to secure the kayak to the car while I toss our bags inside, brushing off the sand and dirt.
“Yeah, I’m planning on coming. Kate said I get to help her set up some of the games this year. I wonder if Bryn will be coming?”
“She said she would be there!” We both get into the car but Elle is suddenly quiet. “I know we’ve all grown up, and you can make your own choices. I just want you to know I’m here if you need to talk, okay? It’s been so long, and so much has changed.”
“I know, but Erick invited him to live with him, which is saying something, right? Erick is a stand-up guy and wouldn’t live with someone who wasn’t the same. Which is besides the point, because Wes and I are just friends. There’s a lot for me to figure out.”
“You talked about it?” Elle glances at me as I nod. “Well, if you feel good about this, I’ll support you, too. Anything you need.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.” I try to keep my face straight, but at the same time I’m torn as to how I really feel.
Do I feel good about this? Do I even know what this is?