CHAPTER ONE #2
Dad had savings but I knew they weren’t going to last very long. He was worried about keeping up the mortgage payments on our house.
I was back living in the old family home by then, having moved out of Les’s place when he called the wedding off a year ago in August. I was earning a good salary, working at a local bank, and when Dad was injured and couldn’t work, I wanted to increase the amount I was giving him in bed and board.
At first, he wouldn’t hear of it. But eventually he was forced to give in, realising that if he didn’t accept extra help from me, we could lose the house.
And I was more than happy to contribute more to the family budget.
I was nearly thirty, a grown-up. Of course I should be paying my fair share of the household bills!
But then a few months after that – back in April – life dealt us another blow.
I was made redundant from the bank where I worked.
The branch was closing down, which meant Dad and I would be living on his dwindling savings and my small redundancy payment. How long would it be before the money ran out and we’d be faced with the nightmare of having to put our lovely family home on the market?
My good friend, Lyndsay, who’d worked alongside me, managed to get a job fairly quickly, working at a local garden centre, and I was so pleased for her. But it was August now – four months since we’d lost our jobs – and I’d had no luck so far.
I’d started searching for another job as soon as I was told about the redundancy, emailing four or five applications most weeks. But my hard work had yielded just two interviews so far, and I’d been pipped to the post by a better qualified candidate both times.
I felt weary and frustrated by the constant trying but getting nowhere, although I certainly wasn’t about to give up.
Dad kept saying, ‘The right job will come along at just the right time,’ and I appreciated his optimistic outlook although I didn’t have much faith in it.
Now, glancing again at Dad’s worried, faraway expression, I crossed the fingers on both hands.
Hopefully, I’d have more success at today’s job interview...
‘Are you okay, Dad?’ I asked at last, as the silence dragged on.
‘What?’ He turned, snapped out of his thoughts. ‘Yes, I’m fine, love.’ He smiled. ‘So... thought any more about online dating?’
‘Oh, Dad. Not this again.’ I grinned over at him.
He shrugged. ‘You shouldn’t let Les put you off, that’s all. Not all men are controlling buggers like him.’
‘I know that. But... well, I’d just be on the rebound, wouldn’t I?’ It was a good excuse, anyway.
‘You’ve been single for a whole year now, love. You never go out so you’re never likely to meet anyone. And I’d love to see you settled.’
‘Dad!’ I shook my head in despair.
He grinned. ‘I love the thought of being a grandad. So you’d better hurry up or I’ll be too old to play football with them. I’m getting on, you know.’
I hated it when he mentioned his age.
He’d been thirty-three when he met mum. She was several years younger and it had been love at first sight. Now, Dad was sixty-two, although until he’d hurt his back, he’d been as fit and energetic as a man in his fifties.
‘Dad, you’re not old.’
‘I’m going on for seventy.’
‘No, you’re not! That milestone is eight whole years away . And anyway, haven’t you heard? Seventy is actually the new fifty.’
He laughed at that, and the mood in the car lightened as we continued on our way.
‘Dating is a bit scary after what I’ve been through,’ I admitted after a while.
‘I know.’ Dad nodded slowly. ‘I can understand why you’d be wary after what happened. Of course I can. But you know, not all men –’
‘Are scumbags,’ I finished with a grin. ‘I know. And you are a case in point. Mum hit the jackpot when she met you at that nightclub way back when.’
His eyes crinkled in a sentimental smile.
‘Love at almost first sight can happen, you know. I am the living proof. Just imagine if I hadn’t gone out that day.
I might never have met her.’ He looked over with a quizzical expression.
‘What if you don’t meet this fella online who’d be perfect for you because you’re scared he’ll be a wrong-un?
But it turns out he would have been your soulmate? ’
I laughed. ‘You’re talking about a hypothetical man online, I assume?’
‘Yes. But you get the idea. There’s probably a guy online right now who’s wishing he could meet someone exactly like you.’ He grinned sheepishly. ‘For goodness’ sake, Anika, you can’t disappoint the poor man.’
I shook my head in mock despair. ‘Look, if it makes you happy, Dad, I promise I’ll investigate the dating apps, okay?’
‘Don’t do it for me.’ He shrugged. ‘Do it because you want to. You deserve to be happy, love.’
I gave an exasperated sigh. ‘I’m a modern woman, Dad. You do realise I don’t actually need a man in my life to be happy?’
‘Touché. Look, this probably seems ridiculously old-fashioned to you, but I just want to see you settled with a nice bloke before I shuffle off my mortal coil.’
‘Dad!’ I stared at him in horror. ‘I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.’
‘Don’t worry. I’m not planning on croaking any time soon, I promise you. But I’m not getting any younger, you know, and...’
‘Right, that’s enough!’ I ordered. ‘Just stop talking now, please.’
‘Okay.’ He smiled.
‘Good.’
We exchanged a sideways smile and drove on in silence.
After a while, I looked across at him.
‘I’ll think about it, okay?’
He was right, of course. I’d been avoiding all possibility of romantic entanglements since last summer when Les told me the wedding was off.
I’d been with Les for five years – and living with him for the last two – and we were happily planning our wedding, when one day Les came home from work, sat me down and told me he’d been offered a promotion that meant moving to Paris to set up a new office there a week or so after the wedding.
It had sounded exciting, and I’d been all set to move to Paris with him.
It meant leaving Dad but I knew he would never want to stand in the way of me having an adventure, and France was hardly the ends of the earth so I’d be able to visit often. Also, it was only going to be for a year.
But then less than a fortnight before we were due to say ‘I do’, Les got cold feet and dropped the bombshell that he wasn’t ready to get married. What’s more, he’d also decided he needed to ‘find himself’ and he wanted to move to Paris alone.
It was all such a sad cliché.
When Les uttered the classic words, ‘I’m so sorry, Anika, but I really feel like I need to find myself , you know?’ I almost burst out laughing. I probably would have if I hadn’t been so completely numb with shock at what he was telling me – thirteen days before our wedding!
But there was more pain to come.
On the day I should have been walking down the aisle, I found out from a ‘friend’ that Les had been seeing someone behind my back for the past three months. And when I’d tackled him, it turned out to be true. Even worse, he’d asked his new woman to move to Paris with him, and she’d agreed!
I’d been completely off men ever since.
It was only recently that Dad had started suggesting I should think about getting back into the dating game.
He kept emphasising that kindness and caring were so important in a partner – which was clearly a reflection of how he’d viewed my relationship with Les.
In other words, he hadn’t thought Les was particularly kind or caring – and with the benefit of hindsight, I’d definitely come round to his way of thinking.
Les was never going to be the love of my life. I knew that now.
But that didn’t mean I had to rush out and find someone ‘kind and caring’ to take his place.
I might have told Dad I’d investigate the dating apps.
But deep down, I knew it was never going to happen...
*****
I was feeling in good spirits as I caught the bus home later.
The interview seemed to have gone well, and as I walked into our close, I was already leaping ahead in my mind and planning what my contribution to the household budget would be when I got the job.
But as I got nearer the house, all thoughts of mortgage payments vanished from my mind.
The garage didn’t look right.
And when I peered closer, I realised that the door was slightly ajar at the bottom.
What on earth . . .?
The garage hadn’t been opened for years, and my knees felt weak with dread as I paused beside it for a moment, trying to gather the strength to look inside.
Taking a breath, I bent down and took hold of the handle, and the door creaked loudly as I pulled it up.
Shock lurched in my chest as I stared inside.
Where Mum’s beloved red Triumph should have been standing, there was now just an empty space...