2. Maksen
2
MAKSEN
“ A nnalise, idi v svoyu komnatu ? * ,” Lukyan instructed Anna, who’s throat swallowed a lump.
She didn’t let out any words. She just got up from the swing and made her way back into the house. I followed her with my gaze and I knew she was scared.
She wasn’t walking with her back straight and her shoulders back as she always did. This time, she seemed like she wanted to bury herself somewhere no one else could find her. Her hands were wrapped around her body and her steps became faster when she got inside.
I didn’t get to see her face, but I was sure that she had tears in her eyes. She was emotional most of the time and I knew she was going to lock herself up into her room and cry. It happened even more lately. Whenever I saw her, I noticed how day by day something changed in that happy little girl I knew. I just couldn’t put a finger on what it was.
I wished I could’ve pulled her to my chest, hugged her, and told her that everything was going to be okay.
But I couldn’t.
Lukyan put his hands into his pockets and stepped towards me, keeping a defiant smile on his scarred face.
It didn’t impress me in any way.
I stood up from the swing set, burying my hands into the pockets and pinning him with my eyes. He wasn’t taking his eyes off of me and as soon as he stepped closer, he let out a broken laugh.
“You shouldn’t have touched her, son ,” he spit every word.
I knew he called me son every time he wanted to manipulate me. I had so much respect for him when I was just a teenager because he raised me from the ashes after my parents died in that fire. He told me that he found me there, trembling and crying because I was just a baby. And I respected him for taking care of me.
But now that I became a man, I saw all the wrong doings he continued to do. And I was a part of it because it was my family’s inheritance.
“She’s my best friend, Lukyan. I’ve slept with Anna in the same bed and you know I wouldn’t even think about doing anything to her,” I explained in a low tone of voice.
I fucking lied to him.
Every time I slept with Annalise in the same bed when we were children, I couldn’t stop looking at her. Analyzing how beautiful she looked when she was so vulnerable. I memorized how her lips were parting as she let out the air between them and how her chest raised up every time she was lost in her dreams.
But Lukyan didn’t have to know that.
“I know the look on your face, Maksen,” he spoke slowly. “That is the look of a man who loves.”
“I don’t love anyone but myself and my knife. For you and your family, what I feel is respect and gratitude. But that’s where it ends,” I spit out every word, feeling how my heart raced into my chest.
I lied with that too. I didn’t love myself. I hated myself. That was the only way I could be the man I am now. Loving myself made me comfortable and vulnerable, and the hatred motivated me to be the best I could be.
His breath hit my face and my jaw clenched. I felt my fists ready to hit whatever was in front of me, and the first thing that came into my mind was Lukyan’s face.
He was keeping Annalise locked in that fucking house and I couldn’t bear to see her withering there anymore. I found an urgent need in myself to help her get a taste of this world, even though that meant risking my life.
And now that she admitted that she was unwell, it ignited a fire inside me. I felt the need to offer her a piece of something she never had before – freedom.
I would’ve done anything for her happiness because she had always been mine.
“Freshen up because we’ll be leaving in two hours,” he spit out, turning on his heels and making slow steps back to the house. “And don’t you fucking dare to touch her and look at her like that ever again.”
The next moment, all I heard was the sound of his gun unloading, and the only thing I felt was the pain engulfing my right leg.
The blood started running down my calves and I could feel the warmth of it spreading on my flesh. It made me fucking smile, because I loved the feeling. I merged with the pain and made it a part of me.
I’ve done worse things to myself than this, but I was still shocked that he shot me.
I was going to get my revenge on this, but not now though. I was going to do it when he would least expect it and if until now I wasn’t sure I would hurt him, now I was certain that I would.
How dare he?
“Touch her again and the next bullet will slice through your head.” He said and loaded his gun again.
Did he think that he was scaring me in any way? Even if he would’ve shot the next bullet to my head, I would’ve come back to life to make him suffer. He didn’t know my real self, but just a tiny part of who I really was. He was going to find out, eventually.
I narrowed my eyes and pinned him with my gaze. I didn’t want to say a word to him because I didn’t want to offer him this satisfaction.
I was a merciless man, without scruples and emotions. When he looked at me, I smiled and showed him how much I enjoyed the pain he caused.
I could feel my pulse beating into my wounded flesh and my soul was dancing in a pure feeling of happiness. Pain made me happy. It reminded me of how capable I was, and Lukyan seemed to forget this.
I stepped on the blood pool around my leg as he froze in the exact same place from where he shot me. He knew I was fucked in the head, that’s why he raised me to be his best assassin.
My lips stretched into a wider smile as I passed by him like I hadn’t had a bullet go through my flesh a few moments ago. I stopped in front of him, letting my breath hit his face. He looked like he was disgusted with me, but at the same time, I sensed the fear creeping into his marrowbone.
I knew when people were afraid. And now, he was more than that; he was terrified. His face turned ashen and his scarred chin was trembling under my scrutinizing look.
He feared me even though he didn’t want to admit it.
And he should’ve thought about that before shooting me.
“See you in two hours, Lukyan.”
I walked away from him, gritting my teeth as I felt the blood that continued to flow on the manison’s floor. The bloody footprints that were following me were shining into the light of the sun and the only thing I could think about was Annalise seeing this.
No.
What if she saw the entire scene from her bedroom’s window? I bet she stood there and watched curiously what happened between me and her father. She might be scared and worried for me and I didn’t want her to let those feelings take advantage of her. But at the same time, I didn’t want to talk to her right now about this.
I was in a dangerous state of mind right now and it would scare her to death to see me like this.
I’ll be the last person she will be scared of.
Once I reached the hallway, I bumped into Olivia and the dread came over her face.
“Maksen!” she yelled, covering her mouth with her hands.
“Clean this mess, please. I don’t want Annalise to see this.”
And then I left for the bathroom, without saying anything else. A maid was the last person on earth I would explain myself to. I liked her, but she was too nosy for my tastes.
Lukyan was going to see my real face soon.
Actually, everyone was going to see it.
* ? “Idi v svoyu komnatu” means “go to your room” in Russian.