9. Annalise
9
ANNALISE
A s I was playing with my pen on the desk’s surface, I felt a cold air hugging me entirely. It made me feel unsafe in my own house. I tried to move and stand up from the chair, but it seemed impossible.
“Olivia?” I yelled, but all I could hear was my own voice echo.
I turned around and the door slammed open on the wall, a dark fog entering my room and making everything look like it was portrayed by a demon.
I knew it was him. My body started shaking uncontrollably and I became more terrified with every second that passed by. The black fog filled the room, and when it reached for the desk, I felt it untwining up my legs, tying me to the chair. I tried to yell again, but nothing came out of my mouth.
“Annalisa! Annalisa! Where are you, my sweet dear child?”
It was him.
My mouth opened, ready to let out the screams of pure terror, but again, I wasn’t able to say anything.
His voice came closer and closer to where I was sitting, and a touch of darkness gave me goosebumps. He was behind me. I felt his fingers playing on my shoulders, trying to reveal my naked skin to his shameless gross fantasies. I tried to escape from his touch, but I couldn’t move.
“I waited for you to be alone, Annalisa. Oh, how much I’ve waited,” he whispered to my ear and my screams immediately filled the entire room.
I was paralyzed with fear, scared stiff of him because I knew what was coming. I knew that there was no one who could save me from his evil claws. I had to accept it and bear it with any power I had left in my vulnerable body.
As I felt his hands wandering on my body, opening up my chest and trying to take out my heart entirely, I screamed. And I screamed so loud that I felt my soul trying to escape from under the flesh that was holding it.
He took my heart in his hands and laughed at it. I felt numb in that moment, and it felt better that way because I stopped feeling the pain and terror he was causing me. Yet he didn’t stop there.
He took a bite from my heart, then threw it on the floor, licking his lips in a way that made me curl my entire body, just hoping I would manage to stand up from the chair.
Everything I did was useless. So I screamed.
I screamed when he touched me again.
I screamed when I heard my name on his lips again.
I screamed, and I wanted to die so bad that I screamed even louder, hoping to crush my own soul and disappear.
“Anna! Anna! Wake up, Anna!”
I opened my eyes, my breath racing and my heart pounding in my chest in a rhythm it never did.
My father was shaking me to wake up and once he saw I did, he took me in his arms and hugged me tight. And that was the moment I started crying, letting all the salty tears roll down my cheeks without any shame. I put my hands around him and enjoyed being safe for a second. He never came to my room before, but that night he did, and I couldn’t have been more grateful to have him so close.
“It was just a nightmare, Annalise,” he softly whispered between my hair strands.
I didn’t reply.
I just sat there, trying to convince myself that I was awake and there was no one who wanted to hurt me.
He held me to his chest for a few more seconds, and then he moved away and looked at me. I saw a flinch of worry creeping into his dark irises. I needed his hug. I needed to feel taken care of and protected.
“Sorry for waking you up. I-I had a really bad dream,” I said between the gasps.
“We’ll talk about it tomorrow, you’re safe now. Get back to sleep. I’ll be here if you need anything,” he replied and caressed my right cheek.
I smiled at him and wiped away the tears on my face. He stood up from the bed and gazed at me once more before leaving the room.
And I was alone.
Again.
As I’ve always been.
I let my glance fall on the window and I stood up from the bed. I walked slowly towards it and sat down on the comfy bench in front of it.
The moon was sitting on the night’s dark sky, while the little stars were accompanying her. Even the moon wasn’t alone in the night. Yet there I was.
My thoughts flew to Maksen and how much I would’ve loved for him to be here. He could understand me and listen to what I had to say. He always did it for me. But even though I couldn’t have him physically here, I could’ve just called and talked to him.
And that seemed like the best thing I could do.
I walked straight to the bedside where my phone was standing. I took it between my fingers and sighed when I saw that it was three in the morning. He was probably sleeping and there I was, ready to wake him up and not care that my dad might find out and punish him.
I pressed the call button, waiting a few moments until that particular sound notified me that he picked it up.
“Who do I have to kill and where are you?” he growled at the phone and I furrowed, not knowing if he was already awake or I just woke him up.
“I’m home, you don’t have to kill anyone. It’s fine, I mean, it’s not fine, but…”
“Tell me what happened, Annalise.” His harsh breath hit the microphone along with his demanding words.
“I had a nightmare and it was so bad I woke up my dad and he came into my room to check up on me. But it was awful. That man,” I slowly explained and felt how the tears were starting to form behind my eyes again. “He took my heart out and then he laughed at me, bit from it, and touched me,” I added and I felt him tensing at the other end.
“Put your hand on your chest,” he demanded, this one colder, lower.
I gulped and raised my hand to my chest, resting it on it.
“Did you do it?”
“Yes,” I quickly answered and sobbed.
“What are you feeling right now?”
I was so confused that I almost forgot why I called him in the first place. “What do you mean?”
“What do you feel now that you’re keeping your hand on your chest?”
I spent a few seconds thinking about the right answer, and I quickly found it. “I’m feeling my heart beating.”
“Feel its rhythm.”
What on Earth is he talking about? His last demand made me even more confused, but I tried to listen to him and closed my eyes to feel the beat of my heart.
It was pounding slower now, considering how fast it did a few minutes ago. It was beating steady and in a way that calmed me down instantly.
“I did,” I whispered and let myself fall on the bed’s surface.
“Is it steadier now, calmer?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Then learn that rhythm and remember that every time you need to feel it, I’m here for you. Anytime, Anna. One phone call away. Same rule applies if you want it to beat faster.
I felt my cheeks getting warmer as I heard the last words he spoke. He noticed that my heart beat faster when I was with him; he must’ve felt it when I hugged him at the cabin.
He kept silent and didn’t say a thing until he heard me sighing again.
“Your heart will be safe as long as I’ll live, Annalise. No one will touch it.”
But you already touched it, and you didn’t stop there, you stole it and now it belongs to you , I said to myself and felt how my body trembled with emotion.
He had such power over me that he could’ve calmed me down even if I was on the edge of a cliff and at the risk of falling off it. And it scared me that we were becoming closer to each other even though we weren’t supposed to.
“Thank you for talking with me, and I’m sorry for waking you up,” I murmured and started playing with my fingers waiting for his response.
“You should’ve said sorry if you wouldn’t have called me, Annalise,” he declared and I noticed a slight change in his tone of voice.
And what would the reason be? I asked myself and my curiosity sent a shiver down my spine.
It seemed to me that Maksen was refraining from telling me exactly what he had in mind, but I remembered that my dad might’ve listened to our conversation and he couldn’t say more of what he wanted.
“I’ll let you sleep now. Good night, Maksen.”
“Good night, Anna.”
I smiled before ending the call, and then I put the phone on the bedside and snuggled in between the blanket’s cozy material.
I closed my eyes and I noticed that my lips were still curled up in a smile as I fell asleep.
Guess that’s what Maksen did to me.
I slept in late and the moment I opened my eyes, I saw that the sun rays were strong enough to lighten the entire room.
As I stood up, I frowned as I heard some familiar voices coming from downstairs. They seemed to be Maksen’s and my father’s, but I wasn’t sure.
I got up from the bed and stretched my body, yawning and rubbing my forehead as a strong headache was announced to appear.
Great. That was a good start to a bad morning.
I led my feet to the bathroom and tried to do my routine, but the dizziness made my view go darker as I headed out of the room.
I made my way to the living room, but as soon as I heard Maksen’s voice, I felt as if my soul finally found its peace.
“She needs a psychologist, not surveillance cameras to be monitored, Lukyan!”
Was it because of my bad nightmare last night?
“I don’t care what you think she needs. You’ll do exactly as I say, no other useless comments!”
My father’s voice came out harsh, almost like he was ready to punch Maksen without hesitating. I mean, he did shoot him once, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.. I coughed so they would notice my presence when I stopped under the door frame.
“Why are you two yelling?” I briefly asked, gazing at the two men in front of me.
I usually don’t dig my nose into situations that do not concern me, but now it was something that included me, so I needed to know every little detail of it.
“We are not yelling. How did you wake up so late, my little Anna?” he told me as he offered me a smile.
His question came to me as a glimpse of the father I used to know before he shot my best friend and the boy he saved. For a moment, I hoped I wouldn’t ever have lived that day, because I was aware that he was not the same man I thought him to be. And it scared me because I loved him and I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do anymore.
I gazed at him, then moved my attention to Maksen who wasn’t even looking at me. I knew he was trying to avoid any situation that would prove to my father that we were close to each other. But I also knew at that moment he was a volcano ready to erupt and burn everything around.
He was tapping his foot nervously against the floor and biting his inner cheek, trying so hard to keep silent.
I didn’t know how I sensed that something was going on with him, but I simply did.
I felt him.
“I just needed more sleep,” I replied and massaged my temples, hoping to get rid of the headache that was starting to intensify.
“Go and eat your breakfast, and tell Olivia to give you a pill. You don’t seem so well today,” he said and the moment he spoke the last word, Maksen turned his head to me and looked me deeply in the eyes.
“Sure will.”
And with that being said, I turned on my heels and headed straight to the kitchen where I met Olivia. I wasn’t in the mood for any conversation, because my mind kept flying to what my father wanted to do with the surveillance cameras.
It wasn’t something I was really happy with, but I guess I had to accept and live with it. Just as I live with every other thing he does to me.
“Can I help you with something, Miss Annalise?”
“No, Olivia, thank you,” I quickly replied and took the bowl of granola with milk from the kitchen counter. “I’ll need a pill for a headache.”
She looked at me carefully, trying to figure out what happened to me exactly. I knew she was worried for me, but I didn’t really want to talk. She opened the cabinet and took out a bag of pills. She poured a glass of cold water and gave me one red pill.
I took it and she sighed, standing beside me with a nervous expression on her face. I looked down at her and tried to give her a smile. Instead, I felt the well-known burning sensation crippling around my eyes and I knew the tears were about to roll down my cheeks.
I didn’t want to cry again, yet the feelings were cradling into my soul and drenching it of anything that meant happiness.
“You don’t need to be upset about things like these, my dear,” she whispered and put her hand on mine.
“How could I not?”
My own father wanted to spy on me constantly instead of listening to Maksen and hiring someone I could’ve actually talked to about my issues. The nightmares were becoming worse each time I had them.
“We both know Mister Maksen wouldn’t look at someone like Katya. He only had eyes for you since you were children.”
And that was the moment I felt more confused than ever. I looked at her and I furrowed, trying to understand what she was trying to say.
“What do you mean?”
Her facial expression changed to a more concerned one. “Weren’t you upset that Mister Maksen and Miss Katya will be leaving together on a vacation?”
They were what now?
For what?
The heat was flushing through my body and my muscles tensed at the thought of them spending their time together. She had him all for herself, while I couldn’t even hug him and not be punished for it.
“Miss...”
But Olivia didn’t get to finish her sentence, because I was already out of the house.