Chapter 34
CECE
T he sound of waves crashing against the shore, blending with the crackle of the firepit Felix had lit after dinner, relaxed me in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. I leaned back in my chair, nursing a beer and enjoying the moment.
I was full from the two hot dogs and all the chips I had mowed down.
I missed Sophie, but I knew she was safe.
And it was two nights if things went well.
Since I had Sophie when I was so young, I never got the chance to party.
Well, technically, I had partied plenty before Sophie, which was kind of how I got my precious daughter in the first place.
But I didn’t party with other adults. I didn’t go out on my twenty-first birthday.
There were no spring break trips and wild weekends.
I was a good girl. A good mom. So this? It felt a little rebellious and exciting.
Technically, it was still for class but it felt fun.
“Who’s ready for marshmallows?” Lina asked.
When we were at the store and Lina added the marshmallows to our basket, I thought it was a joke.
She was stick thin. I doubted she had ever eaten more than two grams of refined sugar.
There was no way in hell the perky chick had roasted marshmallows over an open fire.
But Lina was exactly why one should never judge a book by its cover.
It turned out, she did know all about roasting marshmallows. Granted, her experience came from her family’s propane firepit at their house in the Hamptons, but still. She knew how to do it. Hell, she’d probably done it more times than I had.
I watched as Lina tore open the package for the roasting sticks. Again, I had no idea there was such a thing. The few times I had done it with my dad, we used branches we found. She scooted her chair closer to the firepit and held her stick out.
“You’re supposed to hold it over the flame, not in it,” Felix teased, his own marshmallow already a perfect golden brown.
“I know what I’m doing,” Lina shot back. “Just wait and see.”
I glanced over at Grady, who was sitting a few feet away, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He was staring into the fire, his expression somber. I wondered what he was thinking about—the dive tomorrow, the storm that might or might not come, or maybe something else entirely.
He caught me looking and raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?” he asked, his voice low.
“Nothing,” I said quickly, looking away. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
I smiled. “How nice this is.”’
It was true. Even Lina seemed more normal out here away from campus. Hell, at the store, she’d even cracked some jokes.
“Okay, listen up,” Lina said, holding up a marshmallow like it was a sacred artifact.
“You may be professors and a TA but I’m about to take you all to school.
The key to the perfect s’more is patience.
You can’t just shove it in the fire and hope for the best. That’s how you end up with a charred mess. ”
Felix snorted, leaning back in his chair with his own marshmallow already on a stick. “Says the girl who just set hers on fire.”
Lina shot him a superior look but there was a glimmer of humor in her eyes. “I was testing the flame intensity. It’s called science. Try to keep up, doctor.”
We all laughed at that, even Felix. “I shall do my best,” he said.
I shook my head as I skewered my own marshmallow. “Science, huh? Teach us your secrets.”
“Absolutely,” Lina said, her tone mock-serious. “Now, watch and learn.” She held her marshmallow just above the flames, rotating it slowly so it toasted evenly. “You want a nice golden-brown crust, not blackened ash. And don’t rush it—this is an art form.”
Felix leaned forward, squinting at her marshmallow like he was inspecting a rare gem. “Looks like you’re actually doing it right this time. Color me impressed.”
“Thank you,” Lina said with a dramatic bow of her head. “Now for the graham cracker.”
I glanced over at Grady again. His marshmallow sat untouched on the table beside him. “I hope you’re paying attention,” I told him. “No daydreaming in class.”
He caught my eye and gave me a small smile before finally picking up his stick, skewering his marshmallow, and holding it near the flames. I couldn’t help but watch him, the way the firelight flickered across his handsome, rugged face.
He was so focused, so precise, even in something as simple as roasting a marshmallow. It was both intriguing and ridiculously attractive.
“You’re not holding it like Lina said,” I teased, trying to lighten his mood.
He glanced at me, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I’ve been making s’mores since before Lina was born.”
“I can hear you,” she said, pausing her lecture to Felix about when to add the chocolate. “And just because you’ve done things a certain way for a long time, it doesn’t mean that way is the best.”
She went back to instructing Felix, and I leaned in to Grady, close enough so no one else could hear. “That girl really lights up when it comes to s’mores.”
He smiled and nodded. “I wish she showed the same enthusiasm for my class.”
I pulled my marshmallow away from the fire and held it over to him. It was perfectly golden. “See? This is how it’s done.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Yours is undercooked.”
“Undercooked?” I scoffed. “It’s perfect. And you know it.”
“It’s raw,” he countered, leaning closer to inspect it. “You don’t want it pale and squishy.”
“Squishy is good,” I argued, though I could feel my cheeks heating up under his scrutiny. “It’s gooey. That’s the whole point.”
“Well, I suppose gooey is fine,” he said, his voice low and teasing. And for some reason, I was certain he was thinking about sex.
I swallowed down the lump of lust in my throat. “You’re impossible.”
“And you’re stubborn,” he shot back, but there was a warmth in his eyes that made my stomach flip.
After several s’mores, Lina and Felix declared they were headed to bed. It would have been a good idea if Grady and I followed them into the dorms.
“See you in the morning,” Grady said to them without getting up.
“Night,” I called out.
After they were gone, it was just the two of us. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t relaxed. There was always tension between us.
“Want to take a walk down to the dock?” Grady asked softly.
“Sure.”
We walked in silence down the sandy path toward the water, the sound of our footsteps muffled by the soft ground.
The moon was nearly full, casting a silver path across the dark ocean that stretched endlessly toward the horizon.
When we reached the dock, I kicked off my sandals and let my feet dangle over the edge, the cool water lapping at my toes.
Grady sat beside me, close enough that I could feel the heat radiating from his body. The silence between us was charged. We kept saying we weren’t going to do anything, but our libidos didn’t get the message. Our bodies recognized each other. It had to be the pheromones.
“You nervous about tomorrow?” he asked finally.
I considered lying, telling him I was fine, but something about the darkness and the gentle sound of waves made honesty feel safer. “A little. But more excited than nervous.”
He nodded, staring out at the water. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. About your mom, about not letting fear control your decisions.”
“And?”
“You were right.” He turned to look at me. “I was being overprotective. Not because I don’t think you’re capable, but because…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.
I waited, sensing he was struggling with something important.
“Because I care about you,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “More than I should. More than is smart or professional or safe.”
My heart hammered against my ribs. “Grady, we’ve talked about this.”
“I know we agreed to keep things professional and I am,” he said. “Mostly. I care about everyone that’s under my watch.”
I laughed softly. “Thank you for the concern. Does that mean I get to be concerned for you?”
He shrugged. “Sure.”
“Then we’ll be worried together.”
“I’m not as worried as I was.” He paused and looked back out at the water. “But you’re precious cargo, Cece.”
My heart flickered. But I didn’t roll my eyes or push back. Words like that weren’t said lightly. I closed my eyes, swallowed, and just appreciated the way it felt to have someone care.
“Precious cargo,” I repeated softly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He smiled and took my hand, laced his fingers through mine. “Sleep’s a good idea. Big day tomorrow.”
My grip tightened on his. “Yeah.”
We knew we needed to go to bed but neither of us made a move to get up. It felt like we were two young teens sneaking out after the rest of the world was asleep. Holding hands but too afraid to do anything else.
Eventually, the responsibility of being adults with a big day had us getting to our feet.
He kept my hand in his and turned to face me. “Can I?—?”
As if he had to ask. I lifted onto my toes and closed the space between us. Our lips met. It was as soft as butterfly wings at first. It was like we were both testing the waters. The dock beneath us creaked softly.
The kiss deepened only a fraction, not long enough to drown in it, but just enough to say this matters.
We broke apart, breath drifting out in small puffs. I rested my forehead against his, eyes closed. He exhaled, dropped his lips to my temple and then my forehead, a line of kisses that felt like a caress.
“I’ll see you in the morning.”
I opened my eyes to meet his. “Yeah. See you there.”
We walked back to the dorm facility slowly, our hands still clasped together.
I hoped Lina and Felix were in their rooms. It was risky to be holding hands.
I had a feeling Felix knew there was something going on between us, but if Grady trusted him to keep his mouth shut, I supposed I could too. But Lina, not so much.
He walked me to my door. And once again, we were at a crossroads. It would be way too easy for him to come into my room. I wanted to tell him I could be quiet. I could fuck and not make a peep. Or he could put a pillow over my face. I was up for anything.
He cocked a crooked smile as if he knew what I was thinking. “In another life maybe,” he said. “Goodnight.”
He walked the few doors down to his door, then turned to look at me. He grinned and shook his head before he disappeared inside. I walked into my room, closed the door, and leaned against it.
Would it make me a ho if I ran to his room and begged him to take me?
“Yes, Cece. Yes, it would.” But I’d be a satisfied ho.
I shook it off and stripped out of my clothes. The twin bed creaked as I crawled under the covers. I closed my eyes and thought about the following morning. I would be seeing two amazing things tomorrow: an old shipwreck and Grady shirtless.
I fell asleep with a smile on my face.