Chapter 42
CECE
I sat frozen on the bed, the sheet still clutched to my chest like a lifeline.
My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
My mind was a chaotic mess of panic and disbelief.
Dean Carver showing up in my room felt like one of those dreams where you find yourself naked in front of a classroom.
I had to look down and make sure I was actually naked. Yep. There’s my boobs. Little lower, the vajayjay is hanging out after a night of being well taken care of.
The dean’s words echoed in my head. Common whore.
The phrase burned like acid, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
I wanted to scream, to defend myself, but the words wouldn’t come.
All I could do was sit there, exposed and humiliated, while Grady stood naked in the middle of the room.
And what was really wild was I had actually felt jealousy at the fact Grady was naked and the dean had very obviously been checking him out.
I had almost jumped out of bed and challenged her. There was a wild urge to stake a claim and tell her to quit looking at my man. But he wasn’t my man. We had sex. Amazing sex. But I didn’t think that meant he was mine. Not really.
My eyes moved back to Grady. I couldn’t help but look at him.
Even in this disaster of a moment, he was breathtaking.
His lean, muscular frame was on full display, every inch of him radiating strength and confidence.
The faint stubble on his jaw gave him a rugged edge, and his dirty blond hair was tousled from sleep.
Well, not just sleep. I had a lot to do with that.
My fingers had run through his hair, tugging and pulling as he brought me one orgasm after another.
From the broad shoulders down to the narrow hips and long legs, he was perfect.
But that thought only made the knot in my stomach tighten. What had we done? We’d been so reckless, so careless. We’d let our desire override every ounce of common sense we had. And now we would have to pay the price.
The dean had called me out. Grady hadn’t reacted, but there was no way he didn’t hear what she said. I couldn’t begin to imagine what he was thinking. While I was feeling like I’d been hit with some kind of paralytic, I could see his jaw was clenched tight.
“Grady?”
His gaze flashed anger. Then hurt and ultimately confusion. I could see him trying to process all of it. He looked crushed. I did that and it made me feel as small as a gnat.
“Were you spying on me?” He didn’t yell, but the whisper was worse.
I swallowed, heart pounding. “It’s not what you think.”
“It sounds like she wanted you to catch me in the sack with a student,” Grady said.
He grabbed his underwear and jerked them on.
“You were setting me up. Was that the plan all along? Get me to fuck you so you could run back and tell the dean I’m the scoundrel that she believes me to be?
Did you fuck me to get something from the dean?
What did she promise you? What favor was she talking about? ”
The accusation hurt, but it made my skin prickle.
“No.” My voice trembled. “I swear I had no idea who you were when we met at the bar. I was supposed to be a TA for another professor. Carver put me with you and said she wanted me to report back. I wasn’t comfortable with it.
But I needed the work. I had to have the money to stay in school, to support Sophie. ” I paused and realized I was crying.
He stopped with his pants halfway up his legs. “That night. You set me up. You were going to fuck me in my office so you could run back and tell her.”
“No! I didn’t know who you were.”
He was looking at me with disgust. “Why should I believe you?”
“Because I’m telling you the truth.”
“What have you told her? All of this? Have you been reporting back to her about us the whole time?”
He kept using those words. I understood why he was saying it, but it wasn’t like that. I took a deep breath. I needed to stay calm. Grady wasn’t the kind of man that got irate and wouldn’t listen to reason. I just needed to tell him the truth.
“The night in the bar, I went drinking because of my meeting with Carver. I was torn. I didn’t know you at all but I didn’t like the idea of being a spy.”
“Why? Why did she want you to spy on me?”
I took a deep breath. “She said you were ‘too friendly’ with students. That she couldn’t prove it but there were some concerns. She asked me to keep an eye on things and if I saw something that I thought was professional misconduct, I should tell her.”
“She said I was fucking students?” The words were hissed through his clenched jaw.
“Yeah, and to let her know about anything else I saw.” I figured I may as well go all in. There was no point in trying to tiptoe around the detonated bomb. “She said the department was in jeopardy and implied you were doing things that could threaten the department and the university as a whole.”
He reached for his shirt and pulled it on. “And am I? Am I such a fuck-up you think the university is in jeopardy?”
“No.” The answer was given without hesitation because it was the truth.
“I realized the dean could be wrong. That night in your office when you kicked me out, I didn’t know who you were.
When I got home, I did Google your name.
When I realized it was you, I was confused.
Everything the dean said did not match up to the man that practically shoved me out the door. ”
“I don’t fuck students.”
I flinched at the harsh words. “I believe you.”
“But I guess I do fuck students now, don’t I? Is that what you were doing? You were trying to trap me. Congratu-fucking-lations. You did it. What’s the prize?”
I felt like he’d slapped me. The accusation stung, but worse than that, it made me feel sick. I couldn’t believe he thought I’d do something like that. He actually believed I would use him, manipulate him, just to get some kind of favor from the dean.
I had to fight to keep my voice steady. He was the aggrieved party. Not me. I had to allow him to vent. I knew I hurt him and it killed me.
“You think I’d do that?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“You think I’d sleep with you just to trap you?
To ruin your career? Grady, I didn’t even know who you were when we met at the bar.
The chemistry between us is very real. I wanted you that night.
It had zero to do with the dean. I didn’t know you were the professor I was supposed to be spying on.
I thought you were just some guy who owned a bar.
And when I found out, I didn’t tell her anything.
Not a damn thing. I’ve never said a word to her. Nothing.”
He stared at me, his jaw clenched, his eyes shooting daggers at me. “Then why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say something when you realized what she was asking you to do? After that first night at my house. Did you show up and make me fuck you because you needed to give her something?”
“No! And I didn’t make you do anything. Don’t be a dick.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’m the dick?”
“Maybe I should have told you, but I didn’t know how.”
He pressed his lips together. “You lied to me.”
“I didn’t tell you. But you never asked me. I didn’t lie to you.”
“Oh fuck that,” he growled. “You are not going to twist this around. Am I supposed to ask every woman that lands in my bed if she’s a plant sent by the dean to spy on me?”
“No. But I swear, I didn’t tell her anything.”
He exhaled. “It doesn’t matter now. She got what she wanted.”
I stared at him, my chest tight like an elephant had crawled on top of me.
He was right. It didn’t matter what I had or hadn’t told the dean.
The damage was done. We’d been caught, and there was no coming back from this.
My stomach churned as the reality of the situation hit me like a freight train.
“Grady,” I started, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you.”
He turned away from me, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s not just about me, Cece. This affects you too. Your career, your future is all on the line now. Or not. I suppose you could always tell her I manipulated you.”
“No! I wouldn’t do that.”
“Wouldn’t you?” His sad eyes had my heart doing a weird skip. “You were willing to spy to keep the job. I know you’ve got a kid. You’re a mother. You’re going to do whatever it takes to make sure she has what she needs.”
I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “I’ll take responsibility for my part in this. But, Grady, please believe me when I say I didn’t set you up. What happened between us was real. It still is.”
He turned back to me, his eyes searching mine for any sign of deceit. For a moment, I thought he might soften, but then his jaw tightened again. “It doesn’t change the fact that we screwed up. Big time.”
I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. “I know we did. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”
He let out a bitter laugh. “Make it right? How do you propose we do that? The dean has all the ammunition she needs to destroy us both. I need to be alone, Cece.”
He walked out of my room and left me sitting in my bed.
If I wasn’t so devastated, I probably would have been embarrassed about the situation. The dean made me feel like I was sixteen and just got caught with a boy in my bedroom. I was an adult. By all technical standards, Grady and I did nothing wrong. We were consenting adults.
But that didn’t matter. Dean Carver had an ax to grind and I was collateral damage.
I had no doubt in my mind Lina and Felix knew Grady had spent the night in my room.
No point in trying to hide it. I got up and skipped a shower.
I was disappointed our dive day wasn’t going to happen, but after what happened with Lina yesterday, Grady had called it. It was time to go home.
I climbed into the back of the van, my bag slung over my shoulder like a dead weight.
Felix was already in the driver’s seat, his hands gripping the wheel like he was bracing for a storm.
Lina sat beside him, her voice chirping away like nothing had happened.
Like she hadn’t almost died yesterday. Like she hadn’t been the reason we were all leaving early.
Like she hadn’t called the dean and just imploded Grady’s life and likely mine as well.
“I mean, it was scary, sure,” Lina said in her bubbly tone. “But honestly, I think it brought us all closer, you know? Like, we’re a team now. A family.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from scoffing.
A family? She had to be kidding. If anything, this trip had torn us apart.
Grady wasn’t even here. He’d apparently told Felix he was going to stay behind and do some cataloging and then find his own way back.
I didn’t blame him. Not really. But it still hurt.
Felix didn’t say much as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. He kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror. I wondered if he knew what had happened this morning. If he’d heard Dean Carver’s voice echoing down the hall. If he’d seen Grady storm out of my room.
Lina kept talking, oblivious to the tension.
Felix and Grady were best friends. If Grady told him the whole story, Felix was going to be pissed at me.
Again, I couldn’t really blame him either.
I was enemy number one. Felix’s career was on the line as well.
The dean would probably twist the situation to involve him in some way.
And Felix worked in the same department.
Did I just implode the whole archeological sciences department?
I was pretty sure the TA position was done. I didn’t know what that meant for me and my future. Was hot sex worth fucking up everything I’d been busting my ass for over the last four years?