Chapter 7 Lila
Lila
I stared at the open door to my office long after Jace had left. His comment, telling me he would be thinking dirty things about me during class, was textbook harassment. And as someone who taught Criminology, I should know. I could have gotten him written up for it.
But that would only invite a whole bunch of scrutiny into our relationship.
No. It was better to let his comment slide… for now. If he continued bothering me, I could always make a formal complaint later.
And deep down, if I was being completely honest with myself?
I kind of liked the attention. I was only a woman, after all, and Jace and I had undeniable chemistry.
Even now, minutes after he had left, there was a warmth and lightness in my chest from our conversation.
I felt almost giddy after what he’d said.
Even if nothing could ever happen between us.
“Professor Carrington?” a student suddenly appeared in my doorway, causing me to jump. “You’re holding office hours, right? I have some questions about the reading material.”
“Yes, of course. Please, come in.”
I helped him with his questions, and then another student stopped by right after that. It was nice to have a few normal student interactions to cleanse my emotional palate and remind myself that I was lucky to have this position at the University.
When the second student was gone, I pulled up Tinder and sent the message that I should have sent yesterday.
Me: Hi Jace. Obviously, now that I know you’re a student in my Criminology 101 class, we can’t take this any further. Thank you for understanding.
And then, for good measure, I blocked him on Tinder. For some reason, that gave me a pang of sadness. Like I was closing the door on something that might have been special.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said out loud. “I fought too hard to get this position to lose it over something stupid.”
But Jace didn’t feel like something stupid. He felt like the kind of guy I’d been searching for on dating apps for years. The kind of man who could sweep me into his arms and carry me off into the sunset.
The universe was cruel to put us together like this.
I struggled to sleep that night. I tossed and turned while images of Jace ran through my head. The knowing smile he gave me in my office. The way his muscles bulged out from his shirt. The hint of tattoos peeking out from his sleeve.
Eventually, I got up to pee. And when I crawled back into bed, I remembered that I didn’t have to imagine Jace, because I had a photo of him.
The selfie he’d sent me on Tinder was shot facing downward, showing his rippling ab muscles and his pelvic lines that ducked down into his blue jeans.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning back on my pillows and spreading my legs.
I could still smell his scent in my nose, like he was in the room with me.
Smiling.
My clit was on fire, and by the time I lowered my fingers between my legs, I was already halfway to an orgasm. I stared at the photo, imagining exploring those muscles with my fingertips. Dipping them down into his jeans to wrap around what was inside, squeezing it while he groaned in my ear…
My release was swift and intense, jackhammering through me until I melted back into my pillows. I felt a brief moment of shame for masturbating to one of my students, but it didn’t last long.
He’s practically my age, I told myself. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing. As long as I don’t act on it, I’m not breaking any rules.
The rationalization felt right, and I fell asleep easily now that I’d had some release.
The next morning, while eating breakfast, I pulled up Tinder.
Not to look at our exchange, but to swipe right on as many suitable guys as I could find.
I even lowered my standards a little to get as many matches as possible.
That was the best way to move on from this: finding someone else to go out with.
It was a chilly morning in Tennessee, and I had to wait for my car windshield to defrost. By the time I walked into my Criminology 101 class, most of the students were seated already.
I avoided searching for Jace in the auditorium seating, instead walking right up to my desk to unpack my laptop and other things.
There was a shiny red apple sitting on the desk. A hand-written note was folded in front of it, with Lila written in blue ink. I lifted the edge to peek at the message.
Something for you to sink your teeth into.
-J
When I looked up, my eyes locked onto Jace like he had some sort of magnetic pull. He was smiling down at me from his seat in the middle of the room, in a row halfway up.
Don’t let yourself get rattled, I told myself. You’re the one in charge, Lila.
“Open your textbooks to chapter one,” I announced to the class. “Page thirty-three, the review questions. Let’s start with the first question…” I made a show of scanning my printed list of students. “…Mr. Strickland. What is the difference between crime and deviance?”
Jace looked shocked, which gave me a moment of intense satisfaction.
But then he flipped a few pages from his notebook and said, in a deep, clear voice, “Crime refers to behavior that violates a formal law and is punishable by the state, while deviance refers to behavior that violates social norms but may not necessarily be illegal.”
He added a little emphasis to the word deviance, and smiled at me suggestively.
“Very good,” I said, hoping that my cheeks only felt like they were burning. It should be a crime for one of my students to be so freaking sexy.
“Question number two. What is crime rate, and how is it typically calculated?” This time I actually scanned the student list to find someone random to call on, settling on the name right before Jace’s on the alphabetized list. “Mr. Radley?”
To my surprise, the student sitting next to Jace began speaking. “Crime rate is a measure used to compare the level of crime across different populations or regions. It’s usually calculated by dividing…”
Soon I was able to put Jace’s sexy smile out of my mind and get into a groove with the lecture. By the time class ended, I felt a lot more like myself. In charge and unflappable.
But then Jace stopped by my desk on the way out.
“Hi, Professor Carrington,” Jace said, glancing over his shoulder at the other students filing out. “I had a question about tonight’s reading material.”
“The assignment seems pretty straightforward… Mr. Strickland, is it?”
“Please, call me Jace,” he said with that smile of his.
That sexy, infuriating, gorgeous smile.
And his eyes scanned down my body briefly before locking onto my face again.
“Thanks for the apple, but I’m not a fan of them,” I said.
“Aw. They’re good for you.”
“So are healthy boundaries,” I said quietly.
Jace picked up the apple, tossed it into the air, and caught it nonchalantly. “Regarding the reading. Should we be ready to discuss the end-of-chapter questions again in class on Friday, like we did today?”
He bit into the apple with a crunch. A line of juice ran out the side of his mouth and down his chin, which he wiped away with the back of his hand.
Lord have mercy.
“You should always be prepared to discuss the reading material in class, yes,” I said with as little emotion in my voice as I could manage. “Is that all?”
“Have you caught up on Stranger Things?”
The change of subject caught me off guard. “I have not.”
“You should come over to my place to watch it,” he said casually. Like it were an easy thing. “I can open a bottle of wine, make some popcorn. We could have a good time.”
We were alone now, so I didn’t have to hide my sneer. “Thanks, but I’m good. You should ask one of the girls in your dorm. I bet they’d be impressed with your ability to buy them alcohol.”
That elicited a grunt from Jace. “I’ve got my own place over on seventh street. The offer stands if you change your mind.”
He bit into the apple again with a crunch, smiled, then strolled out of the classroom.
I waited until he was out of sight to let out a deep breath. “Persistent, aren’t you, Jace?” I muttered to myself.
But I had no idea just how persistent he could be.