Chapter 10 Lila
Lila
Out of all the guys I’d matched with on Tinder in the past week, only one of them came close to interesting me.
His name was Kyle, he was my age, and he was ruggedly handsome.
I put extra effort into preparing for our date on Saturday.
A little more makeup, and an extra ten minutes teasing my hair until I was practically preening in the mirror.
He’d chosen to meet at Margaret’s, a fancy little boutique restaurant that meant he was serious about our date. A good sign from the start.
But thirty seconds into our date, I realized it was a waste of time.
“I’m a myrmecologist,” he explained in a monotonous tone that would have put a classroom full of students to sleep.
“That means I study ants. Ant colonies really are quite fascinating, once you learn about their hierarchical structure and mating patterns. For example, did you know that worker ants are all female? Male ants are used exclusively for breeding with the queen.”
“Lucky lady,” I said with a suggestive grin.
The joke went right over Kyle’s head. “Not lucky. Not lucky at all. The amount of energy required for a queen ant to lay eggs is astronomical…”
I put on my fake smile and nodded along. We’d had chemistry while texting, but clearly that didn’t translate to in-person interactions.
Normally, when a date was going well, I put my phone on silent. Obviously, I didn’t do that tonight, so when my phone buzzed in my clutch, I quickly reached for it.
“Sorry, let me check this real quick,” I said. “I’m waiting to hear back from another professor about a class I might have to teach this summer.”
My poker face slipped when I saw the text.
Unknown: I’ve tried apples, then oranges. Want to give me a hint as to what fruit I should give you next? Or does it turn you on when I waste food?
“Is everything okay?” Kyle asked. He sounded boring even while trying to seem concerned.
“I think so…” I said, texting him back.
Me: Jace? How did you get my cell number?
Jace: It’s on the syllabus. I assumed it was your office number, though. It’s really generous of you to allow students to contact you at home.
Me: I’m an excellent professor. You shouldn’t be contacting me.
Jace: What if I have a question about the paper that’s due Monday?
Me: Do you?
Jace: No. But I can think of one as an excuse if it means you’ll keep texting me.
“Sorry about that,” I told Kyle while putting my phone away. “False alarm.”
“I could never be a professor,” Kyle replied. “Teaching the same courses every semester, year after year? I would go crazy with boredom.”
“Yeah, I bet,” I said dryly.
“Myrmecology always keeps me on my toes. Every ant colony I study is different. Last autumn, right before the monsoon season, we discovered a colony that was over four thousand square meters in size! Can you imagine the logistics required to feed a colony that size?”
“I can’t imagine, no.”
My phone kept buzzing, but I ignored it until we were halfway through the main course. Kyle got up to use the restroom, and before he had even walked away, I was reaching for my phone.
Jace: What are you up to tonight? Catching up on Stranger Things?
Jace: Let me know when you’ve seen the finale. I have opinions.
Jace: Ugh I want to spoil so much for you right now. You’re very lucky I’m a nice guy.
Jace: You should reward me for my niceness with a date.
Me: I’m not going on a date with you.
Jace: I thought you were ignoring me. What took you so long to respond?
Me: I’m out with a friend.
Jace: A friend? Or you’re out on a date?
Me: That’s none of your business.
Jace: Ohhh. So it is a date.
Jace: Very interesting. Where’d he take you?
Me: You have to stop texting me.
Jace: Tell me about your date and I’ll leave you alone.
Me: No.
Jace: Okay, how about this. If you admit that we have INSANE chemistry, and that you’re into me as much as I’m into you, I’ll leave you alone. I just want to know that what I’m feeling isn’t one-sided.
Me: If you keep bothering me, I’ll be forced to report you to the University’s disciplinary board.
Kyle returned from the bathroom, and I quickly put my phone away. But it didn’t buzz for the rest of the date.
I must have finally gotten through to Jace.
Speaking of getting through things, I somehow managed to smile and fake-laugh my way through the rest of my date. Kyle made a halfhearted attempt to kiss me outside the restaurant, but I quickly turned it into a platonic hug and told him to have a nice night.
That’s what frustrated me the most about this situation: Jace was absolutely right. We had this incredible chemistry that I had never felt with anyone else before. It was made even more glaring after my dud of a date with Kyle.
That kind of chemistry was rare.
While driving home, I imagined what a date with Jace would have been like.
Would he take me somewhere nice, like Margaret’s?
Or a dive bar with loud music and a better atmosphere?
I wondered if he danced. Most men didn’t, but somehow I could imagine Jace taking my hand and leading me out onto the dance floor with a cocky smile.
Wrapping an arm around my waist while swaying to the music.
Soft touches and lingering squeezes.
And then, after a few drinks, pulling me closer and grinding against me.
I changed into comfortable clothes and settled onto the couch with a glass of wine. Which turned into two.
By the third glass, I pulled out my phone and started typing before I could second-guess myself.
Me: I just finished the penultimate episode. Holy shit, what a roller coaster. I don’t know how they’re going to top it in the finale.
Jace: Penultimate. There’s a professorial word.
Jace: Wait, you’re watching TV? I guess the date didn’t go well.
Me: It went fine. But he was kind of boring.
Jace: So it WAS a date. I’m glad you’re exploring your options. What made it boring?
Me: He was a myrmecologist, for one thing.
Jace: An ant scientist? Wow.
Me: You know what a myrmecologist is? You typed that too quickly to have looked it up.
Jace: Believe it or not, I just listened to a podcast episode about myrmecology. I can’t believe you thought that was boring!
Me: Honestly, this guy could have been an astronaut and it would have seemed boring. He had this monotone voice. Zero inflection.
Jace: You know who doesn’t have a monotone voice? Yours truly.
Me: Watch it. I was serious about reporting you to the disciplinary board.
Jace: If that were true, then you wouldn’t have texted me back after your date.
I tried to think of a cutting response, but I was drawing a blank. Jace was right. He had respected the boundary that I set, and then I immediately broke it after three glasses of wine.
I didn’t really care much about that, though.
Me: You’re my student. So nothing can happen. But, hypothetically, I’ll stop being your professor in May.
Jace: Oh yeah? We could have a lot of hypothetical fun after that.
Me: Like what?
Me: Hypothetically.
Jace: I don’t think I should be texting my professor specifics. Not over an unencrypted chat.
Jace: Hypothetically, there’s a chat program called Signal. Which, hypothetically, has full end-to-end encryption.
Me: That sounds interesting. Hypothetically.
I downloaded the Signal app and added Jace’s phone number. Before I could think of what to type, I received a message from him in the app.
Jace: Hey. You downloaded the app.
Me: Hypothetically, I did. Now what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. All the fun things we could do when I’m not your professor in May.
Jace: Sorry, but I don’t think this kind of conversation is appropriate.
Me: Oh shut up.
Jace: I’m serious. I just wanted to know if you’re as interested as I am. Which you answered by downloading Signal :-)
Jace: You must be into me REALLY bad. You’re practically falling in love. With one of your own students.
Me: Congratulations. You’ve officially lost my interest. You can go back to jacking off to porn, or whatever it is you do on a Saturday night.
Jace: I went out to a bar tonight. I’m home now though.
Me: You struck out? Wow. I would think dating is like shooting fish in a barrel for you.
Jace: Why do you say that? Because I’m devastatingly handsome?
Me: Because you’re an older guy in a college town. You’re experienced, and they’re young and gullible. Plus, girls are probably attracted to you because you can buy them beer.
Jace: First of all, I don’t need to buy girls beer to get them to go out with me. And second, I wasn’t prowling for skirt tonight. I actually met up with an old Army buddy.
A photo appeared on the Signal app. It was a selfie taken by Jace while he had his arm around another guy with a head that was made for a crew cut. My eyes immediately locked onto Jace, though. I found myself admiring the easy smile and the way his shoulder muscles pushed up against his shirt.
Me: He’s a good looking guy. Is he single?
Jace: He’s very married. And his wife is very pregnant. It’s a good thing this is an encrypted chat, or someone might see these texts and start calling you Professor Homewrecker.
Me: Speaking of texts… I blocked you on Tinder after sending my last message. But it would probably be best if you deleted the Tinder exchange on your end.
Jace: You’re that paranoid?
Me: Usually not, but you’re the one who made me download an encrypted texting program.
Jace: I didn’t make you do anything, Professor Carrington.
Oh my God, the way he called me Professor Carrington stirred something inside me. He was my student, and that made this naughty in all the best ways.
Me: Still though, it would probably be best if you deleted those messages. It would suck if there’s some big Tinder leak in the future, even though I covered my ass with the final message I sent.
Jace: I’d love to cover your ass, so to speak.
Me: Very funny. But you’ll delete the Tinder exchanges on your side?
Jace: I’ll take that under advisement, Professor.
Jace: You know what? I kind of like having some leverage over you. It balances out the power dynamic since you functionally control my future.
Me: That sounds awfully close to blackmail.
Jace: I would never do that.
Jace: Hypothetically ;-)
Me: My interest in something happening after May is rapidly declining. Hypothetically.
Jace: Go watch the Stranger Things finale and get back to me. Have a nice night, Professor.
I wanted to be annoyed with Jace being uncooperative, but I also couldn’t stop smiling at the text thread.
“Nothing can happen,” I said out loud. “As long as nothing actually happens, then this is fine.”
I wasn’t sure if I believed it.