Chapter 16 Lila
Lila
When it ended, when I finally sagged against him, trembling, breathless, and overwhelmed, he held me for a long moment. One of his hands cradled the back of my head, the other steadying my waist.
The office was silent except for our breathing. Outside, students laughed and teased each other as they walked by.
Nobody knows what we just did.
After a moment, he pulled back just enough to look down at me. His hair was a mess, and his eyes were molten brown.
“Well?” he asked.
“Well what?” I managed to say.
“What’s my grade… Professor Carrington?”
Jesus. It was shocking how hot that sounded on his tongue, a reminder of the forbidden nature of our act.
“A,” I replied. “A-minus.”
I could feel his cock trembling inside me as he chuckled. “Really? Not even a firm A?”
“There’s room for improvement,” I teased, although right then I couldn’t think of anything that could have improved the three orgasms I’d just experienced.
“I guess I’ll have to study harder next time.” He leaned in and kissed me softly. The tenderness contrasted delightfully with the intensity of our earlier kisses, filling me with joy and making me feel almost lighter than air.
But then my mind returned to pragmatism. “Get dressed. In case there’s another knock.”
“Good call.”
He slid out of me, a sense of hollow emptiness replacing his hard length. We dressed with quick, efficient motions, and then he helped me pick up the exam papers that were scattered all over the desk and floor.
“Some of these are, uh, dirty,” he said.
I grimaced when I saw what he meant. Half a dozen exams had dark wet stains on them.
“I’ll worry about it later,” I said, shoving them into an empty drawer.
When I turned back around, Jace braced me by the shoulders and stared at me with a frown.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You look like you just had sex.” His fingers dove into my hair, sweeping it back and brushing down a few strands. “There. That’s better.”
His hand paused on my cheek. We stared at each other for a long, sensual moment. Then he rounded my desk and sank into the guest chair. It felt like a symbolic return to our proper roles.
Except for the satisfied smile he was wearing.
“You should probably go,” I said. “In case that student comes back and jiggles the handle some more.”
“Now I can tell you actually want me to,” Jace said. “Leave, I mean.”
The funny thing was that I didn’t. I wanted him to stay. To extend the moment, to cuddle in his arms, to feel the warmth of his chest press into my skin and heat my body again.
But instead of saying that, I only nodded.
Jace rose, gave me another suggestive smile—one that now had a lot more context to it—and then picked up his backpack from the floor by the door. “Have a great weekend, Professor.”
With a final wink, he opened the door and disappeared out into the hallway.
I sat there for a long while, allowing my heart rate to settle.
Then I got up and went down the hall to the women’s restroom to clean up.
When I returned, I lingered in my office doorway, watching the students and faculty passing by between classes.
The University was still continuing on, oblivious to what had just happened in my office.
An excited shiver ran through my body.
Nobody knows what we just did.
It was thrilling. It was wrong, and immoral, and wasn’t the kind of person I thought I was… but oh my God was it thrilling!
Nobody else came to my office hours that afternoon. I went to my final class of the week, settling into the routine. Welcoming the class, discussing the previous reading assignment, and then diving into my lecture.
But the entire time, I kept thinking: I had sex with a student.
The thing was that Jace didn’t feel like a student. He was basically my age. We’d met before he appeared in my class on the first day of the semester. He was mature and confident in a way that few of the Freshman on campus were.
Yet he was still my student.
As I packed up my stuff and walked across campus, it felt like my entire worldview had changed.
Yes, what we had done was technically wrong.
That hadn’t changed at all. And I did feel some lingering guilt about the whole thing.
But with a body full of post-orgasm hormones, I could already feel myself rationalizing what had happened.
We were both adults.
He was only my student until May.
I was self-aware enough to ensure I didn’t give him any special treatment in class.
I would continue grading his papers as if he were just another student who meant nothing to me.
It was probably a good idea to grade all tests and papers blindly, covering up the name to ensure I didn’t let any subconscious biases affect things.
And just like that, the guilt faded.
It didn’t disappear completely. It was still there, simmering somewhere in my core. But the excitement of Jace going down on me in my office chair, and then fucking me on my desk, on top of a stack of papers…
I couldn’t stop smiling.
The bar was already crowded when I arrived, even though it was barely five o’clock. I squeezed into an empty barstool next to two older women who looked like professors. Idly, I wondered if either of them had ever slept with one of their students.
When my phone chimed with a Signal message, I knew exactly who it would be.
Jace: I know you’re probably second guessing yourself right now.
So I want to reassure you that I will not tell anyone about this.
I understand discretion. You never have to worry about that with me.
Even if I’m failing your class next month, I would never use any of this against you. You have my word, Lila.
Me: That’s good to hear. Thank you.
Jace: Having said that… I really hope that wasn’t just a one-time thing.
Me: Me too :-)
Jace: Now what can I do to get my A- bumped up to an A+ next time?
Me: I have some ideas.
Jace: I’m listening.
“Is Jace still bothering you?”
I glanced up with a jerk. Brock was mixing a drink in front of me, his eyes focused on his work.
Instinctively, I pulled my phone away. The screen wasn’t facing him. He couldn’t have seen who I was texting.
“Why do you ask?”
“You told me Jace was being stubborn,” Brock said. “Just wondering if he’s finally given it a rest. I noticed that he didn’t leave any fruit or tuna cans on your desk this morning.”
I relaxed and said, “Actually, he has stopped bothering me. I’ll take another gin and tonic, when you have a chance.”
“Way ahead of you.” He smiled and carefully placed a sprig of green leaf into the drink, gave it a stir, then handed it to me. “I remembered your drink from last week. Added a little something special to this one. Let me know what you think.”
I took a sip. “Is that… mint? It’s good!”
He smiled with satisfaction. “Not everyone likes mint, but I think it really makes the gin pop. Back in Chicago, we called the drink a Southside.”
“Is that where you’re from?” I asked.
“Nah, I grew up in Nashville. I worked in construction for a few years after I dropped out of college the first time. That took me to Chicago for half a year. I bartended at night.”
“It’s really good,” I said, taking another long sip. “And I intend to pay for it. I can’t accept any more free drinks.”
Brock nodded once. “Conflict of interest, since you’re my professor. I get it.” He leaned a little closer. “But I’ll give you the employee discount. Don’t tell anyone.”
It felt like such a silly boundary for me to set after having sex with a student. But it let me feel like I was in control of everything happening. Even though I was bending—okay, breaking—the rules with Jace, it was still important to maintain proper relationships with all my other students.
“You said you had a forbidden relationship when you were eighteen, right?” I asked.
He blinked in surprise. “I did.”
“How’d it end? Did it fizzle out, or blow up in your faces?”
A fond smile touched his lips for a moment as he stared off.
“When I graduated, we went on a few real dates. Dinner, movies, bowling. The spark wasn’t there anymore.
We realized we didn’t have anything in common.
The only reason we were hooking up was because it was taboo.
Without that, it wasn’t any fun. Excuse me a second. ”
He moved a few spots down the bar to take another customer’s order.
She was an attractive woman wearing a low-cut top, her breasts practically spilling out when she leaned forward.
Brock smiled at her, planting his palms on the bar counter in a way that made his muscles tighten against his black shirt.
I sipped my drink and thought about what he’d said.