Chapter 44 - Lila
Lila
Now that Jerry was gone, I remembered how I had gotten here.
By not listening to the three men I trusted most.
“What are you doing here, Lila?” Jace repeated. “We had a plan.”
Brock got up from the next booth and slid in next to me. Jace and Cam took the side across from me.
“That was fun!” Cam said. “I love giving assholes what they deserve.”
Jace kept staring at me. “We can celebrate in a minute. I was scolding Lila about meeting with the blackmailer.”
“Oh. Right.” Cam cleared his throat. “We’re very mad at you, Professor.”
“How did you even know I was here?” I demanded. It felt better to go on the offensive. “Are you tracking my phone or something?”
Cam recoiled like he’d been slapped. “What? Of course not. I wouldn’t hack into your phone like that.”
“You’ve been known to do exactly that,” Brock pointed out.
“Yeah,” Jace agreed dryly. “And peoples’ Tinder accounts.”
“I would never do that to someone I care about,” Cam clarified. “That would be a huge violation of trust. I may be a hacker, but I have a moral code.”
“To answer your question: Kayla called me,” Brock explained. “She said my favorite patron was here alone. It was easy to figure out what you had done after that.”
“It went better than I expected,” Jace said. “While driving here, I was afraid it would devolve into a fistfight.”
“Once we had his porn history, it was over for Jerry,” Cam said with a huge smile.
“Did he really have… what you said he had?” Brock asked.
“Horse porn? Oh yeah. Big time.” Cam grimaced. “That image is going to stick in my head for a long time.”
“Thank you for your service,” Jace said, clapping the younger man on the back and putting an arm around him.
“I’m so sorry,” I said in a rush. “I’ve been a nervous wreck. I spent all week freaking out about my job, and I felt powerless, so I did something hasty. And yes, I now realize it was a terrible idea.”
“Jerry didn’t know anything,” Cam said, nodding his head. “He literally emailed every professor with the same vague accusation. Not just here, but also at Nashville State College and the University of Tennessee.”
“I realized that after talking to him,” I replied in a small voice. I felt like such an idiot now that it was over. Like one of those people who fell for a phishing email from their bank. “Listen…”
“You don’t need to explain anything,” Jace said.
I shook my head firmly. “There’s something I need to say. To all three of you. And you need to let me get it all out.”
The three of them grew quiet, with serious expressions falling across their faces one by one.
“I’ve spent the week freaking out about everything. Second guessing every decision I’ve made this semester, and everything between the three of you. This whole thing has given me a new perspective.”
Jace tensed like he thought I was going to break up with him. But that wasn’t what I was doing.
“The three of you aren’t liabilities,” I said firmly, pausing to look at each of them individually.
“For about an hour on Thursday, I wasn’t sure about that.
I was spiraling pretty hard. But I know that it’s not true.
You’re the opposite of liabilities. Each of you is a pillar in my life, holding it up.
Making it stronger than it otherwise would be. ”
Cam perked up at that, and even Jace’s expression softened.
“I care about you. All of you. Even though it’s jeopardizing my career and my professional standing, I can’t lie about what’s inside here.” I tapped my chest.
“Your boob?” Cam asked.
Jace lightly smacked him. “Her heart.”
“My heart,” I confirmed with a chuckle. “Each of you has burrowed your way into my heart. We can argue about whether or not that’s a good idea, but the fact is that it’s too late. I…”
I hesitated. This next part wasn’t easy for me, had never been easy.
“I’m falling in love with you three,” I said. “And I’m sick of pretending that I’m not. Also, I’ve only said the L-word to one man before, so this is kind of a big deal right now.”
Next to me, Brock squeezed my thigh. “Technically, you didn’t use the L-word.”
“What? Yes I did!”
“You said you’re falling in love with us,” Jace added. “Technically not the same thing.”
“Spoken like a future lawyer.”
Jace smiled. “I learned from the best.”
“Still though, it’s not easy for me to make an admission like that,” I continued. “But it’s true.”
“I’ve been falling for you since the first day of class,” Cam announced. He immediately blushed when the three of us looked at him.
“I think that’s true for all of us,” Brock said.
“I started falling for her before the first day of class,” Jace bragged. “And everyone here knows it.”
“She’s not a Caribbean island,” Cam said. “You don’t get to plant your flag on her just because you got there first.”
“Anyway, as I was saying,” I cut in. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s going to happen when this semester ends.
And I’ve decided that I really want to keep seeing each of you.
I know that’s unorthodox, and you guys might judge me for it, but there’s no way I can choose between the three of you. I want you all.”
“Let me stop you right there,” Jace held out his palm. “We don’t judge you. Not even a little bit.”
“Hell yeah,” Cam said. “This thing we have going is amazing. I was intimidated by it at first, sharing you with two other men, but now I’m fully on board.”
“Our dynamic is stronger, not weaker, because there are four of us,” Jace emphasized. “This semester has proved that over and over. Especially considering what happened here today.” He patted the booth table.
“And you won’t get bored once it’s no longer taboo?” I asked. “When I’m no longer your professor?”
There were a few seconds of silence as they considered that.
“I can’t promise anything, but I don’t think so,” Cam said. “There are like a dozen reasons I’m into you, and your status as my super hot professor is only one of them.”
Jace was nodding along. “And if our dynamic does change, I think it will change for the better. Relationships evolve over time. Strengthening, deepening. That’s totally normal.”
“And we can still role play in the bedroom,” Cam suggested. His cheeks turned bright red immediately. “You know. If we want to tap into the forbidden relationship aspect again.”
“I’d love that.” I turned to Brock next to me. “You’ve been awfully quiet for most of this conversation.”
Brock smiled. “I’ll wait until after finals to pour my heart out. It’ll depend on how difficult you make the exam.”
“Exams are easy when you’ve properly studied the material,” I replied.
Brock glared playfully. “Such a professorial answer.”
Jace cleared his throat and gave Brock a look.
Brock swallowed hard, then ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m not great at expressing my emotions.
Especially not in front of other people.
But… here goes nothing. Lila. It terrifies me just how into you I am.
You can give me an F on the final, but my feelings won’t change. We have something special. All of us.”
I hugged him, and savored the way he squeezed me tight like he never wanted to let go. Then Jace and Cam were leaning across the booth and joining us in a group hug.
“Should we get some drinks to celebrate the way we neutralized Jerry?” Brock asked.
“You don’t think it’s premature?” I said. “Celebrating before we know he’s going to actually listen to us?”
“He’ll listen,” Cam said firmly.
“We should probably lay low, like, in general,” I said. “Until final exams are over. Just to be safe.”
“Agreed,” Jace said.
Brock and Cam nodded.
“But for now, a celebratory drink sounds excellent! As long as you make them,” I quickly added, “and not Kayla.”
Brock beamed. “I’m going to tell her you said that. She insists her drinks are better. And she’s wrong.”
Cam watched him walk away, then turned back to the rest of us. “I have a confession. I don’t like Brock’s drinks. They’re always too strong or too weak.”
Jace sputtered a laugh, and I had to cover my mouth to keep from making a scene.
“I’m going to hold that over you,” Jace said.
“Try it and I’ll take a deep dive into your browser history,” Cam warned with a smile.
Jace scowled. “Let’s forget I said anything.”
“Good call.” Cam turned and winked at me.
Yeah. The four of us were going to be okay.
More than okay.