16. Chapter 15
NATHAN
This was fucked. It wasn’t okay. Not even close.
Tomorrow I had an early class. I should have been home, grading, maybe making a drink and pretending I wasn’t thinking about him. Instead, I was here.
I told myself I didn’t care if Ryan was going somewhere to have sex. It was his life. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted.
But I hated the crack in his voice when he’d thrown my own words back at me.
That stayed with me, the way it sounded like I’d broken something in him.
I knew I was in the wrong. How could I not be? Then why the hell was I following him?
He’d left in an Uber, and keeping a few car lengths back had been too easy. The driver never noticed.
At first, I thought he was heading to his dorm. Or maybe another bar. But forty-five minutes later, we were in a quiet neighborhood just outside the city, wide streets, spaced-out houses, porch lights glowing in the dark.
The Uber slowed in front of a two-story with clean lines, a lit path to the front porch, and soft light spilling from the windows.
Ryan got out, hood up, walking like he’d been there before. He knocked once.
A tall brunette answered. Hoodie, sweatpants, relaxed smile.
My jaw tightened.
Devon. The name from that drunken night. The one Ryan had been texting. I’d never asked what he looked like, never cared to. Now I was staring at this stranger, wondering.
Whoever he was, he was close enough to Ryan to open the door without hesitation.
Heat stirred in my chest. He had drugged me. Pushed himself into my life. Crossed lines I hadn’t let anyone cross. And the whole time… there had been someone else?
Over my dead body.
I killed the headlights, parked a few houses down, and got out. My steps were quiet, my focus sharp. If this guy had cameras, I wasn’t giving him a clean shot.
I moved along the side yard, sticking to the shadows. The driveway led past the garage toward the back. A tall fence bordered the yard, and through the slats I caught the shimmer of a lit pool.
Two entrances, the front door Ryan had used, and a side door by the back.
I told myself I just wanted to confirm. Just wanted to know who he was with. But my thoughts wouldn’t slow down.
How long had this been going on? What was he doing in there right now?
Was this the plan all along?
I gripped the side door handle. It turned easily.
Unlocked.
This was ridiculous. I was a grown man. And yet my hand stayed on the handle.
It turned again, and I stepped into a dark garage. Two foreign cars gleamed under slivers of moonlight spilling through a high window. I moved between them, finding the inner door and pressing my ear against it. No voices. No footsteps.
I eased it open.
Light flooded my eyes, a kitchen, wide counters, spotless. I slipped inside, closing the door quietly, when a voice cut through the air.
“One more word out of you and I’ll make that pretty mouth apologize.”
My pulse spiked. Then, a higher voice, whiny, mocking, “Ugh, shut up.”
My jaw tightened. I knew that voice.
The living room was empty. He had to be upstairs.
I moved toward the staircase, loosening my top button so I could breathe. I should have turned around, walked out, cut my losses.
Instead, I climbed.
The sounds hit me halfway up, low moans, a rhythm in the creak of a bedframe. My stomach twisted.
“Harder, fuck, please, Alex, fuck me harder!”
“Yeah, take that, you little slut. You love this cock, don’t you?”
My chest locked up.
I shoved the door open.
Two heads whipped toward me, one dark-haired, furious, one blonde, hiding in the sheets.
“Hey! What the hell, get the fuck out of my house!” the brunette barked, stepping between us. “Come any closer and I’ll hurt you.”
My eyes locked on the blonde.
“Where is he?” I demanded, my voice sharper than I intended.
The brunette squared up. “Who the hell are you talking about?”
“Ryan,” I snapped, my patience fraying. “Where is he?”
His grip tightened on the blond. “The fuck are you talking about? He’s not here.”
My gaze flicked back to the figure in the bed, messy hair spilling across his face, green eyes wide. For a second, my chest squeezed with recognition.
“He’s mine,” I said before I could stop myself.
The brunette’s expression hardened. “The hell he is. He’s my mine.”
And then I saw it, the piercings, the darker shade of blond, the subtle differences that made my gut sink.
Not Ryan.
Before I could say anything, a voice cut through the tension from behind me.
“Mr. Thorne. What are you doing here?”
I turned.
Ryan stood in the doorway, wearing pajama pants, arms crossed, eyes sharp.
The brunette looked between us. “Who the hell is this?”
“Relax. He’s just my teacher,” Ryan said, like that explained anything.
“Teacher? Really, Ry?” the blonde, Sam, deadpanned.
Ryan waved him off, grabbed my wrist, and dragged me down the hall. Heat burned in my face as I followed.
He shoved me into a guest room and closed the door behind us. His posture was loose, but his eyes burned with irritation.
“Oh no,” he said. “If you’re gonna stalk me to my brother’s boyfriend’s house, you better have a damn good reason. Especially after you basically kicked me out.”
“I didn’t kick you out,” I snapped. “I just said we can’t have sex.”
He laughed, cold, humorless. “Same thing.”
“Ryan—”
“No.” He stepped in, jabbing a finger into my chest. “It’s not the no sex. I wouldn’t care if you weren’t in the mood. It’s the fact I know you want to fuck me but you don’t. You push me away, keep me dangling, then show up here like you own me. I’m not yours.”
“That’s not what—”
“You think I’m gonna sit around waiting for you to change your mind? You think I don’t have options?” His voice cracked with heat. “If you won’t fuck me, I’ll find someone who will.”
The words landed harder than I wanted to admit. My throat tightened.
Ryan yanked the door open and stormed out. I stood there, rooted in place, listening to his footsteps fade. The thought tore through me before I could stop it, I didn’t want him with anyone else.
When I finally stepped into the hall, he was there, blocking the doorway, arms crossed, eyes cold.
“You made that very clear,” he said flatly. “Leave.”
I scoffed. “I thought I was yours.”
Ryan’s lips twitched, not in humor. “I’m not desperate. I don’t want to keep forcing you. I tried,” he gave a lazy shrug “and I failed. Claire can have you.”
“You don’t mean that,” I muttered, moving closer. “Ryan.”
“Don’t Ryan me, Nathan.” His voice was sharp enough to cut. “You’re my teacher. What you did tonight? Really inappropriate. Leave.”
I clenched my jaw, holding his stare. “You think I wanted to do this? Follow you? You made me this way.”
His laugh was quick, bitter. “Wow. Deflection. Real nice. I didn’t do anything.”
“No?” My voice cut sharper. “You hooked me on your attention. On the feeling of being chosen. And now you’re shocked I followed you?”
“Are you blaming me? Seriously?”
“No, ” I stepped in again, lowering my voice. “I want you.”
“I know.” His tone was still firm, but his eyes flickered, something unsteady in them.
And I knew exactly why. It wasn’t just me telling him I wouldn’t sleep with him after everything, it was the shit I’d said before. The cheap, ugly way I’d reduced him.
“I owe you an apology,” I said quietly. “For what I said the other night, about you being good for sex and nothing more. That wasn’t fair.
I wasn’t thinking clearly, and not just because I was angry.
I’d been drunk, Ryan. My judgment was warped, but that doesn’t excuse it.
You didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. Not by me.”
His expression didn’t soften, but his shoulders shifted slightly, like the words hit.
“I was concerned for you,” I continued. “And I handled it badly. You… matter to me. More than just physically. You’re not some distraction I use when it’s convenient. I know I can be careful with my words when it comes to my students, but with you, I was reckless. And I’m sorry.”
He stared at me for a beat, then smirked faintly. “Understatement of the century.”
“I know,” I admitted, a small smile tugging at my mouth. “But the truth is, I was jealous.”
“Of… Alex?”
“No. Yes.” I sighed. “I was jealous of the idea of you going to someone else. Letting them explore your body like that, so intimate. It felt… like you were betraying our connection.”
He stayed quiet for a long moment. “You don’t want me.”
“I do.”
“Then why kick me out?”
“Because I’m scared of what being with you means. You’re… insane, like a fire I don’t know how to put out. You need—”
“Discipline. I know.” His mouth twitched like it was funny. “Not exactly a vote of confidence coming from the guy who followed me for, what, two hours?”
“It wasn’t two hours. Forty-five minutes, tops.”
“Oh. Sorry. Forty-five minutes.” He widened his eyes in fake amazement. “Won’t fuck me because you’re my teacher, but you’ll gladly break into some guy’s house and try to kidnap my twin.”
“I wasn’t aware—”
“It’s cool.” Ryan smirked. “You’re lucky they’re deranged individuals.”
I couldn’t help , I smiled back.
“Wow,” he continued, stepping closer, “you’re doing this after just knowing me for a couple months. Imagine the deranged shit I can make you do after a year. I bet I could make you murder someone for me.”
I should’ve felt the instinctive wariness I used to feel around him. Should’ve felt the discomfort, the hesitance I’d had with Lilly. Instead, I felt a rush, pure, unfiltered joy at having him this close, looking at me like that.
Who was I kidding? How could I have gone this long without realizing Ryan was perfect?
“I promise I’m usually more grounded than this,” I said, my voice softer now, pulling him just a little closer.
“Oh, I know.” His grin was pure wickedness. “That’s why I wanted you so bad. The idea of making a nice man like you crazy drove me up the wall. Bet Claire could never drive you crazy like I do.”
“Never.” My eyes swept down his frame and back up again, letting the weight of it hang between us.
Maybe the real madness wasn’t him, it was me trying to pull away when I knew I couldn’t. He was reckless, sure, but I could see the version of him who’d be such a good boy if someone got through to him.
“You finally gonna screw me?”
“No.”
He scoffed. “No? Natha—”
“I want to make love to you. Show you how good it feels being with a man who wants more than what you can give physically.” My voice dropped as I looked into him.
“You’re beautiful, Ryan, but you know that already.
What you don’t seem to know is how enchanting your personality is. You light up my classroom.”
His grin wavered, just slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yes.”
He grabbed my shirt and pulled me into a kiss, hungry, messy, tasting like heat and frustration.
“Then take me,” he breathed.
“Not here.”
“Where?”
I smiled, slow, deliberate, just enough to make him suspicious.
His eyes widened. “In your class?”
“What? No.”
“Please!”
“No.”
His smirk faded into something darker. “I’ll make you.” I laughed under my breath. “I strongly doubt it.”