Chapter 3
Delaney
My first week at my new job flew by. I didn’t have time to think about anything else or anyone for that matter. Getting settled was a feat in itself. I moved to Lynn Falls first to find us a place to stay and get it all set up so the transition would be as easy as possible for me and my daughter, Amaryllis.
I pushed my cart through the grocery store trying to get in and out. It was a massive mistake to go out on Saturday, even though it was early in the morning. It wasn’t early enough, and the store was packed, and I was kicking myself, at a standstill with the woman in front of me, who was having trouble deciding between Cheerios and Frosted Flakes.
Amaryllis said, “Just say excuse me, Mama. Use your manners,” as she looked up at me. I looked down at her, trying to figure out when my six-year-old became so smart. The move here had been pretty easy on her. The first few days I was in Lynn Falls were the hardest because she was away from me, but once she got here it, was like no time passed and we fell back into routine.
“You’re right, baby.” I smiled down at her and then said, “Excuse me, ma’am. Can I sneak right by ya?” It was very Midwest of me. Who was I? I hadn’t been back that long. I guess you could take the girl out of the Midwest, but you couldn’t take the Midwest out of the girl. I felt like the next thing I knew, I’d be saying, “Ope” when I’m surprised.
The woman smiled and said, “Oh, of course. I’m so sorry, sweetie.” I was incredibly irritated at being called sweetie by someone who looked maybe just a smidge older me, so I winced my eyes and shot her an annoyed smirk. It was a pet peeve of mine.
As we made our way past her, I told Amaryllis to go grab her Froot Loops. She skipped down ahead of me but not too far that I couldn’t see her. I grabbed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for myself and when I turned to my cart, I thought I was going to throw up. Cole was standing in front of me. We just stared at each for a few seconds before he finally spoke.
“Delaney! How are you?” He smiled and it made me remember his smile that night and how caring he was. Shit. He didn’t know about Amaryllis. I was panicking.
“I...um...” I couldn’t form words to save my life and then we both heard it. The little voice that belonged to my sweet girl.
“Mama, I got my Fruity Loopty Loops!” I looked down at her and then back up to Cole to see the confusion on his face, but it quickly turned to wonderment. I didn’t know what to say so I addressed my daughter.
“Amaryllis, this is my friend, Cole. Cole, this...this is my daughter, Amaryllis.” I held my breath after that.
“I’m six but I’ll be seven in September!” She smiled and said it so cheerful and proud.
“Hi, Amaryllis! You have a beautiful name. Can I shake your hand?” He crouched down next to her.
“Sure.” She held her hand out to shake his. “Nice to meet you...um...” and then she turned to whisper to me. “Mama, what’s his name again.” It made me smile.
“Cole,” I whispered back.
“Nice to meet you, Cole.” She took his hand again.
Cole stood up and looked at me, then back at Amaryllis again. Then he asked us out and I was horrified. “Delaney, Amaryllis, there’s an end of summer carnival happening tonight. Would you two like to go with me?” Was he dense? You never ask about something fun in front of a kid. I felt like I was being tricked into saying yes because there was no way Amaryllis was going to let me say no.
She gasped. “Oh, please, please, pleeeeease, Mama, can we go? I could win a stuffie for my bed.”
I knew it. “Oh baby, I don’t know. You have so many stuffies.”
“But so what?” She started to pout and crossed her arms.
I looked down at her and said, “Excuse me, ma’am?”
“I mean, that’s ok that I have so many. One more is ok.” She looked up, all hopeful. “We are rude if we say no. He invited us.” She said that last part in a whisper. I wanted to go throw myself in traffic. Going out with Cole was not in the plans and having him meet my daughter was also in the never column. The whole situation was shit.
Huffing out a breath, I looked at Cole with a terse smile. “Looks like we’ll be going to the carnival tonight. It was so kind of you to invite us, Cole.” He had to know I wasn’t happy, but he grinned so hard that I had to stop breathing to control the smile that wanted to creep on my face. It was not okay. We work together. I fucking had sex with him. I was officially living in an episode of The Twilight Zone.
“Great! I’ll pick you both up at six-thirty tonight. What’s your address?”
“Ha! Not so fast. We will meet you there. Where is this carnival?” I folded my arms across my chest now.
“It’s just on the outskirts of town in a small city called Lowell. You’re familiar with the outskirts, aren’t you? Gives you a different view of Lynn Falls.” He punched the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Asshole.
“Yeah, I’m familiar. We will see you in Lowell at six-thirty, Cole. Don’t be late. And don’t cancel…” I leaned in to whisper, “Or I’ll end you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He looked down at Amaryllis, “See you tonight, Miss Amaryllis.”
“You can just call me Amaryllis.” She said it so matter of fact, just like her Mama.
Cole laughed, “Okay, Amaryllis. See you later.”
“Bye!” She waved at him as he walked away.
I literally wanted to die, and my daughter was excited about the whole thing. I would murder him if he backed out. She’d been let down enough over the years.
***
Cole
The stars were aligning, and it couldn’t have gotten any easier than how it did. There I was, plotting how I was going to get close to her, and she was standing right there in front of me in the cereal aisle, of all places. The universe had my back. What did my head in, was the fact that she has a daughter.
Just then my phone rang. It was Carter.
I picked up and asked, “What’s up, man?”
“Yo! What are you doing tonight?” He sounded as upbeat as ever.
“Funny you should ask. I’m meeting Delaney at the Carnival in Lowell.” I couldn’t stop smiling, feeling like some teenage boy.
“You’re shittin’ me. How’d you manage that? And what about the University policy? You’re playing with fire, man.” I could hear the disapproval in his voice.
“Ok, first...quit with the tone. It’s fine. We’re friends. We’re meeting as friends.”
“Oh, so you didn’t have sex with your friend recently?”
“Shut up.”
He didn’t let up. “No, really? Friends have sex now. Got it.” Dick.
“Are you going to let me talk?” I asked and he let out a sigh but said nothing. “Thank you. I ran into her at the grocery store, and you won’t believe who she had with her?”
“Her husband.”
“Asshole.” I could hear him laughing. “Be serious.”
“Ok, ok. Who?”
“Her daughter! She has a six-year-old daughter, bro.”
“You’re shittin me. You really were just supposed to be a one-night stand, dude. She agreed to go out with you with her daughter there?”
“I kinda gave her no choice. I asked if she and Amaryllis wanted to join me and go to the carnival and Amaryllis freaked out with excitement. Genius, right?” I was proud of myself.
“Wrong, you jackass. Rule number one is NEVER ask to do something fun in front of the kids. They will lose their shit and beat us into saying yes. She’s going to rip your balls off, my man. Congratulations!” He was laughing and I felt sick suddenly.
Was she really pissed? Had I read that wrong? “Well, that’s fucking great. What the fuck do I do now? Do I back out? Should I cancel?”
“You know, for being a fucking Professor, you really are simple sometimes.” He was really getting a kick out of the situation. Then I heard him yell, “Lex, I got Cole on speaker. He asked Delaney out in front of her kid. Not just out, but to the carnival tonight.”
“Fuck you, Carter. Can’t believe you just told her. Nothing is sacred.” I rolled my eyes like he could see me.
Lex came on, “Cole! I love you but seriously. What were you thinking? I would literally kill you.”
“Ok, ok, I fucked up. How do I fix it? I shouldn’t cancel?”
“Absolutely not. Cancelling on a kid is basically asking for death. Suggest you leave early enough to get Delaney and her daughter flowers. It will be a nice touch and then lean into Delaney and apologize for being a putz.” Lex was right.
“You’re right. Thanks, Lex. I hope I survive tonight.”
“You’ll be fine. I’m rootin’ for ya. Keep us posted.”
“Alright. Talk to you later. Thanks.” I’d already fucked up and we hadn’t even made it to the date yet. I needed to finish getting ready and get some flowers.
***
Delaney
My nerves were shot. Amaryllis and I stood at the entrance of the carnival waiting for Cole. I truly hoped he would show up. I don’t think my heart could take the letdown it would bring to Amaryllis.
“Mama, do you think he’s coming?” She grabbed my hand and shook it, a clear sign that she was just as nervous. She insisted on dressing herself as always and the outfit was wild. It didn’t match at all, but who was I to suppress her creativity. She had on a tie-dyed skirt over leggings, boots, and a t-shirt over a long sleeve shirt. I tried to tell her she would be warm, but she wasn’t having it.
I released the breath I was holding. “I hope so, baby.”
“There he is!!!” She jumped up and down.
I could see Cole walking toward us and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, an overwhelming sense of calm came over me.
“Ladies!” He said, making me smile. He smiled back, but he turned his attention to Amaryllis. “Amaryllis, this is for you.” He pulled a single yellow rose from behind his back. A friendship rose. Yellow signifies friendship. The look on Amaryllis’ face melted my heart.
“Thank you! I’ve never gotten a rose before.” She looked at him and back down at her flower.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything. Yellow means friendship and I hope we can be friends.” He smiled at her, and she was all teeth but didn’t say anything.
“Dr. Anderson. For you.” He pulled a red rose from behind his back. Passion. Oh boy. I knew I had to stop whatever he thought was happening or what he wanted to happen.
I smiled briefly. “Thank you, Cole. Delaney is just fine tonight.”
“Shall we, ladies?” He gestured toward the ticket stand.
We all walked into the carnival, and it was starting to get dark, so Amaryllis was amazed at all the lights. Cole bought our ride tickets and even paid for candy and food along with different games. Amaryllis was having so much fun, it made me incredibly happy, especially after the year we’d had. She deserved nothing but happiness at her age.
Amaryllis ran ahead, but not out of eye shot. Then she came running back and grabbed Cole’s hand to pull him toward a game.
I watched as she pulled him to come down toward her so she could tell him a secret.
“What did she say?” I asked him.
“She wants me to win her that koala.” He pointed to a stuffie on the wall. All he had to do was pop five balloons in a row.
“Ah, she whispered it because she doesn’t like people to know she has a bed full of stuffies. That’s what she calls them. No pressure. She has more than enough already.” I smiled at him.
He went up and paid for five darts. The first time he was only able to get three balloons to pop. He bought ten more darts. I tried to tell him he didn’t need to do that, but he insisted. It was on the third set that he finally hit all five. I think he broke a sweat.
“It’s still kinda warm out. End of summer my ass.” He mumbled under his breath, and it made me giggle.
“Not nervous at all, huh?” I raised an eyebrow at him.
“No way. I knew I’d hit them. Am I the only one who’s warm?” He smiled nervously. It was sweet. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and I would be lying if it wasn’t the sexiest thing. Cole had dark skin, like chocolate and I was stupidly attracted to him, even though I knew it could never happen. He reminded me of the actor, Kofi Siriboe who played Ralph Angel in Queen Sugar, and I loved that show.
Cole’s smile was so big, and he had a goatee, which he didn’t have the last time I saw him, but I chalked it up to it being the end of summer break, and he hadn’t been ready to go back to being clean cut yet. It really did suit him. He wore jeans and a long-sleeved burgundy shirt. He had rolled the sleeves up to his mid forearm. His arms were a topic for another day.
The worker handed Cole the stuffed koala. He in turn, looked down at Amaryllis, handed it to her and whispered, “A new stuffie for you. What will you name him?”
She lit up. “He looks like a Cubby bear! That’s it. His name is Cubby.”
I nudged her. “What do you say to Cole, baby?”
“Thank you, Cole. Noone’s ever won me a stuffie before. Mama always buys them for me.” I could’ve curled up and cried in that moment. My sweet girl.
“My pleasure, Amaryllis.”
Amaryllis yawned and that was my cue that it was almost time for bed. “You tired, baby?”
“No,” she said, still yawning. Cole and I had a good chuckle. Amaryllis looked so happy, gripping her bag of cotton candy, her new stuffie and her yellow rose, but she really was dragging, which meant it was time to go. We’d done a ton of walking and so many rides.
“We better get going. She is going to fall out on us. I know she’ll be out by the time we get home.”
Cole smiled and said, “Thank you for coming. I’m...um...I’m sorry I asked in front of her. I was informed tonight that you were gonna have my balls because of it.” That made me laugh loud.
“Rookie mistake,” I said, and couldn’t stop laughing. I knew whoever told him that obviously had kids.
“Clearly. I am sorry though.” He rubbed his hand over his head and down his face.
It made me smile. “It’s ok. Walk us to our car?”
“Of course. Come on.”
We started walking, but Amaryllis was clearly very tired. “Amaryllis, want Mama to carry you?”
She shook her head no and looked at Cole. He looked stunned and to be honest. I was equally stunned because my girl didn’t take to new people so easily, but she was stuck to Cole like glue. It made me nervous. He looked at me and I nodded. Watching him pick her up made time stand still. I’d never watched another man carry my daughter. Her dad held her for all of one minute when she was born.
I took Amaryllis from Cole when we got to the car. “Wake up, baby. Climb in and buckle up.”
As she got settled in, I stood up and looked at Cole. “Thank you, Cole. Tonight was incredible. I have one happy little girl in there.”
He took a step closer to me making my heart rate pick up. I was getting wafts of whatever he cologne he was wearing because of the cool night breeze. He smelled like the woods. It was a smokey scent and it was suddenly bringing back memories of our night together.
“Of course. It was my pleasure. Are you going to be ok when you get home?”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine. I’ve been carrying my girl for almost seven years now.”
“Right, okay. Drive safe. Will you let me know when you make it home? I’ll worry otherwise.”
Why was he like that? It felt like a dream. Why did he care so much? No one ever cared that much. “Um, yeah. Smooth, Professor Taylor. I guess I have to give you my phone number or maybe I can send smoke signals up or something.” We laughed.
“No smoke signals. Your number is fine, and I promise I won’t bug you. I just want to know you make it home.”
We exchanged numbers, then Amaryllis and I left. When we got home, I carried Amaryllis to bed and tucked her and her new stuffie into the bed before shooting a text off to Cole.
“We made it. Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome. See you on Monday.”
Right. Monday. Work. We work together. Any thoughts I had of us and Cole, suddenly vanished. I opted to not respond and the left the texts at that.