Chapter 11
Delaney
Another work week had come and gone, and I was lying in bed feeling exhausted. Rolling over, I ran my hand across the side of the bed where Cole usually slept. I missed him. At work, I dodged him at every turn. We saw each other once from down the hall but I ducked into a side room immediately. Cole was not supposed to happen and now my heart felt like it was sitting in my stomach every day.
The sound of feet running down the hall to my room snapped me out of my thoughts. Amaryllis knocked. “Come in, baby,” I said to her. I was proud of her for knocking. We’d been working on respect and boundaries.
She opened the door slowly. “Good morning, mama.” She whispered.
“Come here, you!” She ran in and jumped in my bed. “Good morning, baby girl. I have a surprise for you this morning.”
She gasped. “Is Coley coming over?”
My heart dropped. She loved Cole as much as me. “Um, no baby. Cole isn’t coming over, but Auntie Amber is!”
She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Oh yay.” She looked down as she snuggled into me.
“Amaryllis, what’s the matter?”
She shrugged. “When is Cole going to come visit? We are supposed to be planning a dance around the fire.”
Staring up at the ceiling, I wanted to make like Johnny Depp and get sucked right down into the fucking bed. Just kill me. “I know, sweetie. Maybe someday but we are really busy.”
“I’m not really busy. I just have school.”
It was time to initiate avoidance. “Come on. Amber will be here in a little bit for breakfast. Let’s go downstairs.” Amaryllis rolled out of the bed and went running. “No running. Be careful at the stairs.”
Blowing out a breath, I kept telling myself everything would be fine. Amaryllis would get passed the want of seeing Cole and well, so would I. At least that’s what I’d hoped.
***
Amber was sitting at the kitchen island. We finished eating and I sent Amaryllis to play. “What’s up with you? You’re totally off in la-la land this morning.” She asked.
Stirring the creamer into my coffee, I let out a sigh then turned to Amber and said, “I broke things off with Cole.”
Her audible gasp was so dramatic. “What? Why? Why would you do that?”
“Oh stop. It just wouldn’t work long term. We work together.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, save that we work together bullshit for someone else. No one cares about that.”
I was staring into my coffee mug. “I’m serious. We can’t fuck around. I need this job.” I was hesitant to tell her about Miller showing up, but I knew it would come out eventually. “So, Miller showed up here the other day.”
“What!? Why didn’t you lead with that? What happened?” She was leaning on the counter like she was trying to get closer to me.
“We had just had breakfast, the three of us, me, Amaryllis and Cole. She and Cole were in the living room watching The Secret Garden for the 500th time.”
Amber cut me off. “Stop. He was watching The Secret Garden with her?” She gripped her chest over her heart. “I can’t handle this. We’ll come back to why you aren’t with Mr. Perfect later. Keep going.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “So, they were watching the movie and there was a knock at the door. Surprise! It was Miller. Cole could hear us bickering and came to the door. Miller got shitty with him, and Cole closed the door on him.” I hated saying the next part. “And then I told Cole he should leave.”
“Wait…” She said and looked annoyed.
“I know, I know. I don’t need you tell me anything. I went to Cole’s later in the day and told him what happened with Amaryllis and why I have full custody of her and why we moved. He was very understanding. But I also told him we couldn’t be together. I need my job and Amaryllis is my number one focus.”
Amber tossed her hands in the air. “Why are you sabotaging a great thing? I don’t understand you, Delaney. You have a great guy! Had a great guy. You will figure out the work thing.” And then she whispered, “And fuck Miller.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “He shouldn’t have just showed up here but thank goodness Cole was here. Miller probably would’ve tried to force his way in. Especially if he’s on drugs still.”
She was right but I didn’t want to admit it. Amaryllis didn’t hear a thing because she was so engrossed in her movie that day and I was grateful she didn’t. She hadn’t asked about her dad once since we moved. After the accident, I took Amaryllis to therapy to make sure she was ok and wasn’t dealing with some post traumatic shit from the fall and from seeing her dad in the state he was in. The therapist said she was fine and that she knows her dad isn’t a good man. That was about all she could get out of her. She asked Amaryllis if she was sad, and she said no. The thing about Miller and Amaryllis is that they never really had a deep connected relationship even though he was her dad. He wasn’t around. He worked a lot and when he was home, he stayed locked in his office. Amaryllis never seemed to care, and she and I had each other.
I looked at Amber and said, “You’re right, but I still think it’s best for right now to stay away from Cole. Amaryllis has been asking about him. She was never supposed to get attached to him.” She just stared at me. “What?”
Amber waved me off. “You’re nuts. With all the love in my heart, I think you’re one thousand percent wrong and certifiable, but I can’t tell you anything. He’s not someone you want to let slip through your fingers.”
“Why are you such a damn Cole cheerleader?” I asked her, tossing my hands in the air.
“Because Delaney! We all wish for these things. We wish for the relationship where the guy worships the ground we walk on. We wish to wake up to someone with their arms around us. We wish for the alpha male who fucks us on our desk at work. We only read about that shit it books. Hello! We all wish for that, and you have it. Well, had it! I’m not a Cole cheerleader as much as I’m a Delaney cheerleader and seeing you happy. I believe that is with Cole. Just think about it, please.” She walked over and gave me a hug.
I smiled at her and then said, “I will.”
She grabbed her keys off the counter. “Look, I gotta head out. I’m meeting Evander this afternoon. I’m not sure if he’s an alpha male yet, but we shall see.” She wriggled her eyebrows at me, making us laugh. She went and hugged Amaryllis goodbye and left.