Chapter 3
Levi
He was just as easy to rile up now as he had been when we were kids.
When had he become an adult, though?
“How long have you lived here?”
For some reason my question made him roll his eyes. “Two years. I’ve said hi to you a dozen times and you barrel past me every time.”
Really?
“You ignored the texts my mother made me send which made my life so much harder.” Crossing his arms, Chipmunk glared at me. “Would it have killed you to lie to the overprotective hippy just once to make my life easier?”
He’d texted me?
“Okay, well, I had to get a new number a couple of months ago.” Because some people were true dickheads and not just assholes like I was.
“And that was the third one I’ve gotten in the past three years because my mother keeps posting my cell in some kind of Facebook group to help rich idiots find dates for their kids. ”
Somehow my parents were brilliant and morons all at the same time.
“She what?” Chipmunk blinked as his hands came down to his sides. “What kind of dating group is for kinky college students? Is that the one run by the college guys?”
God, our university was so weird.
“Nope, it’s actually for parents and she keeps describing me as straight but in a phase.” It’d been too much to hope that he hadn’t heard the chaos of my dating life over the past year, so I shouldn’t have been surprised he knew about the kinky part.
Ignoring it seemed to be the best bet since he was currently the color of a tomato.
“So ignoring you might be my fault.” I wasn’t sure how that had happened so many times. “But the phone thing is not.”
Still.
“Um, but I’m sorry it made your mom nuts?” She was polite but kind of strange and riling her up for any reason always got ridiculous results.
Waving his hand, Chipmunk shook his head. “It’s fine. It only took about six months for her to give up on it.”
Ugh.
My wince got a quiet laugh out of him and he nodded slowly, a smirk on his face. “Yeah, it was slightly frustrating, especially when she realized we live across the street from each other now and she wanted to get all that going again.”
Oops.
Okay, maybe I deserved the soup.
“I’ve honestly had to keep changing my number.” I was an ass, not a liar. “She’d have done it again because of all the time off I’ve got but she and my father are visiting relatives in Europe for the holidays.”
It’d been easier than dealing with me.
Well, what she’d actually said was that we all needed some space from my revelations.
Fucking bullshit right there.
I’d been outed…I hadn’t been oversharing.
“That sucks.” Frowning, Chipmunk looked like he’d already forgiven me. “My parents are at some kind of retreat until closer to Christmas. I didn’t feel like going to polish my chakras or whatever they’re doing. It was confusing but involved a lot of fasting and I’m not doing that.”
That sucked too.
But at least they were coming back for Christmas.
“Why don’t you come home with me next week? My mother will love that and it’ll get us both out of the dog house. She’s doing her best not to let my negative energy affect hers but it’s hard.” Somehow he managed to say that with a straight face but I wasn’t sure how he did it.
“You need to stop being so nice and forgiving people this easily.” He needed to learn how to hold a grudge better. “It’s going to fuck with you later.”
Rolling his eyes, he sighed. “God, you’re dense.”
Huh?
“It’s good advice.” I knew that because it’d been the only thing to keep me from going insane over the past year. “You’re too nice and someone is going to take advantage of that.”
Again, I knew that firsthand.
Being nice got problems dropped right onto your lap.
Unfortunately, it seemed like I’d gone a bit too far in the opposite direction, but I could work on finding my asshole balance.
“Alright.” Somehow his glare and the stubborn set of his body was adorable, but I knew better than to actually say that. “You owe me for making my life harder than it needed to be when I moved out for college, so to make up for that you’re coming home with me.”
Crossing his arms over his chest didn’t help the cute thing any.
Wait.
What?
“You’re going to be nice to my parents and accept any and all weird presents my mother thinks is acceptable to give for the holidays.
” It seemed like he’d gotten into the spirit of getting even without actually understanding he was supposed to make me pay, not himself.
“We can adapt to whatever holiday you celebrate.”
He was just as insane as his mother.
“The point of this is for you to learn to get revenge on me, or at least make me suffer emotionally. I’m pretty sure all that is going to punish you.” Or maybe his mother? “That’s not the goal here.”
He shrugged.
God.
It was just like his mother and that food drive all over again.
“It will fix my problems and make my mother happy. So it fits.” Standing straighter, he frowned at me. “If you need help picking out appropriate gifts to give my parents, I’ll help with that and even paying for it if your estrangement from your family has caused financial issues.”
He really was his mother’s child.
“No, they don’t want to see me after hearing that much about my personal life, but they’re still paying for shit and I’ve gotten access to my trust fund.
” Rumor had it they’d asked about morals clauses, but I was pretty sure I got my kinky side from my grandfather, so he’d been smart not to add in anything like that. “But thank you for offering.”
I could be polite when it mattered.
Sometimes.
With anyone else I’d have asked if he was doing okay, but his mother had basically invented those holistic candles and one of the first meditation apps that had gone damned near viral. So while they were kind of weird, they were very generous and stupidly rich.
“I wasn’t sure how upset they were.” Most people from back home ignored the issue, but Chipmunk didn’t seem to have gotten the memo on that. Something else he’d gotten from his too nice parents. “They really overreacted and I couldn’t decide if they’d taken that out on you financially.”
“It would’ve looked bad on them.” At least, that was what I thought was behind them just ignoring me and not actually trying to disown me. “And I think my mother is hoping it’s just a phase.”
The already strange conversation just kept getting weirder every time Chipmunk opened his mouth.
“You’re a Daddy, not a serial killer. It’s ridiculous.
Oh, my mother is probably going to tell you how proud of you she is for finding yourself and working on your inner peace but you don’t actually have to volunteer anything about your personal life.
Just say thank you and tell her something like the journey will be worth it in the end. She’ll like that.”
He really expected me to go home with him for Christmas?
Wait.
“She’s proud of me?” Had I heard that right? “What?”
Chipmunk cocked his head and frowned at me. “Think about who we’re talking about.”
Oh.
Yeah, he was probably right.
“Okay, in my defense no one has reacted well to that mess.” Everyone except one creepy fucking neighbor had gone out of their way to ignore me or the situation in general, and they’d all made it awkward.
Like I’d been the one to deliberately out myself.
Morons.
“I don’t know why.” He still seemed adorably confused. “I mean, I’ve seen their reactions and I get it, but you were already out as gay and are a nice kind of Dom. It’s not like you came out as a sadist and have to keep explaining why you aren’t a demon or something.”
His life was a lot weirder than mine.
“Does your mother think sadists are demons?” There was no way that was a reasonable question but his sigh said he thought it was.
“She’s concerned for them at the very least.” Shaking his head, he didn’t seem to understand how insane the conversation had gotten.
“She’s afraid they’re missing something from their childhood and keeps worrying about them.
My dad has convinced her to lay off it a bit, but I don’t think her stress levels could’ve handled you being on that end of the kink spectrum. ”
That would’ve been the problem?
“Well, at least she doesn’t think I have…’unnatural attractions.’” That had his eyes going wide. “Yep, evidently everyone had to start googling and that was what some of them came up with. Thankfully, my father was faster to realize the holes in that theory.”
“Yeah, littles are fully grown-up people.” He seemed shocked at the level of insanity I’d gone through, which either made it better or worse, I couldn’t tell. “That’s just insane.”
“Yep.” Had he not heard that rumor?
“Don’t tell my mother about that one.” Shaking his head, he sighed. “She’ll try to go to war with the neighbors again and my dad is tired of reminding her that she’s supposed to be a pacifist.”
She didn’t seem to know what that word meant, so I was fine with that request. “That’s not one I’m going to bring up.”
Fucking hell.
“Not that I’m going.” I was not going. “There is no reason to torture everyone like that.”
Or make it awkward.
Chipmunk was back to looking at me like I was an idiot. “When my mother realizes we’ve finally talked, what do you think she’ll do when she figures out I didn’t bring you home?”
Well.
“You’re not going home for Christmas.” He started listing off my issues on his fingers.
“Your parents are out of the country. Your parents are assholes. Your parents are stupid. I’m sorry.
One internet search would’ve explained what a Daddy is.
And you’ve been miserable. I’m sorry. I’m taking you home so that I don’t end up disowned. ”
His level of niceness bordered on unhealthy.
“Ugh. I have to be able to tell her that I’ve started helping right now.” Shaking his head, he scrubbed his hands over his face. “She’ll start lecturing me about my energy again. I can’t take that.”
Oh, that didn’t sound good.
“I’m not a fucking project.”
His glare said he didn’t agree with me on that part.
“You’re miserable.” Throwing his hands up, he started pacing in the small entryway. “You’re cranky and bored and don’t even have a little to help you out of this funk. You’re the biggest project she’s ever going to have met and you can’t play dumb about that or we’ll all deal with the fallout.”
Huh?
“We’ll spend all of Christmas meditating and dream journaling and she’ll get out the candles again.
” His glare was fucking adorable. “I think I’m allergic to the fucking spirit-cleansing candles.
I can’t handle those for days because my sinuses going crazy makes her think it’s bad energy or something. ”
Oh.
Well, that sucked.
“I don’t even know what to say to any of that.” I had to say something, right? “I’m sorry about the candles, though.”
She really liked those.
She’d given them to everyone for Christmas the first year they’d come out.
Everyone.
“That’s all you have to say?” Crossing his arms over his chest had me trying not to smile. “Sorry about the candles?”
Clearly that’d been the wrong response.
“No.” But what else could I say? “I appreciate her worrying and all I’ve put you through.”
Was that better?
His arms went back down to his sides.
We were moving in the right direction.
“I’m nice and you’re a Daddy so that means you have to fix it.” Something about his expression softened as he stomped his foot and the way he started shifting side to side had my brain finally waking up.
Oh.
“You’re right.” Maybe? “But…but this is happening very quickly.”
Was that a reasonable response?
I’d lost track of all logic at this point.
“Well…okay…” Pouting, he glared at me again, but it was a completely different expression while still being just as cute. “I’ll be patient but I’m right.”
And clearly not as big as he’d been when we’d started our conversation.
Argument?
Whatever we were doing.
“Thank you for being patient.” I wasn’t going to tell him he was wrong. I was a dick, but not that much of one. “And I really am sorry for being mean.”
And his arms came up again.
“And you’re sorry for ignoring me.” His attitude was adorable too. “I had to find the funny people by myself. My mother worried.”
He’d found who?
He’d told his mother he was little?
“Your mother knows you like…funny people.” I really needed to get back home more. “Does anyone else know it?”
Head cocking, the question clearly confused Chipmunk. “My dad? My friends?”
Yep, he thought I was an idiot.
“I was kind of worried that the people back home had been mean to you too.” That confession had his anger subsiding again.
“No…the bad naughty people are mean but the fun naughty people are good.” He shrugged like that made perfect sense. “You talked to bad naughty.”
Wasn’t that the truth.
Wait.
“There are good naughty people back home?”
Who was that?
And when had he found them?
Chipmunk was a little?
Could this year get any weirder?